Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

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resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Spurcycle is a great idea if he�s riding busy MUPs. Doubling dinging one just right is one of life�s hidden joys.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2020 15:12

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 17:04

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

I just did a bar tape, seat, and tire swap on my Checkpoint. I went from clincher 25mm GP4k to tubeless 30mm Strada Biancas, and switched the stock seat to a Brooks Cambium C15. I was riding high on 45psi of bliss and proceeded to completely eat poo poo cornering too aggressively on a slightly moist pebble finish walkway 3.5 miles into my work commute. Knee hosed, pride hurt, tail between legs and yet somehow managed to not get a scratch on the bar tape or seat. Feels good man.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 19:36

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

My bar tape sucked so I got some new tape to put on. Can't wait to gently caress it up.

Is being good at taping bars an innate skill? I've somehow always been happy with my tape jobs. I'm also really into bondage.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 20:10

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

HAIL eSATA-n posted:

My bar tape is bulgy and gross but so am I

New thread title candidate

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 21:05

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

HAIL eSATA-n posted:

I really need to start enjoying long rides in the dark/cold/rain because the PNW only has two seasons now and one entails toxic smoke.

I got a 3M half mask + P100 filters from Amazon on Monday because gently caress giving up my last good days of summer to smoke.

# ¿ Sep 16, 2020 21:51

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Going tubeless a few weeks ago was much less painful than I expected. Strada Bianca TLRs are hand made and flat as poo poo, but still managed to seat quite well with my DT Swiss R460db rims without using a tube overnight. My lovely 12V emergency compressor didn't work at all so luckily I had a few spare CO2 canisters laying around. The trick in my case was pumping to the high PSI limit and riding the bike around for a few minutes in tight circles to get the beads and other tiny leaks to fully seal. The weld seam on my back rim was being especially stubborn, but it eventually stopped leaking air after a couple air refills and riding sessions.

resident fucked around with this message at 19:31 on Sep 22, 2020

# ¿ Sep 22, 2020 19:27

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

multijoe posted:

I could use the drop bars before, I just didn't particularly enjoy the hunched position. This has given me something to think on for now anyways, I really appreciate the advice, thanks.

I rode my 2014 Grade 212 miles in one go. It's a fine endurance bike as long as you put the effort into getting the touch points positioned and tuned to your liking. By the time I was ready for STP I'd swapped in ergo bars, shorter stem, plusher tape, a nice seat, and easier to adjust seatpost.

resident fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Sep 29, 2020

# ¿ Sep 29, 2020 20:55

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

I Am Not Spor posted:

We have this thing in our small poorly laid out apartment and it works well.

I also picked up a new helmet, cause I'm not insane and buy used. Old one got a little messed up when I got hit by a car and slammed my head on the pavement.

Wear your drat helmet.

drat, what color is the new helmet? It matches my lava orange Giros perfectly.

# ¿ Oct 1, 2020 19:06

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

e.pilot posted:

Looks like it�s orange, hth op.

Lol I appreciate the effort. I only asked because that pic looks nothing like the Google image results for �POC helmet orange� so I thought maybe it was some limited edition offering.

# ¿ Oct 4, 2020 17:57

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Eejit posted:

Yeah I live in Basalt (near Aspen) and I'm looking for something to handle my local stuff, which is extremely varied, while also being fun in the desert (Grand Valley, Moab). I'm currently on a 2015? Giant Anthem 29er that's been frankenbiked for trail service and I realllllllly need to upgrade.

My biggest question about the Hightower and the only reason I'm not immediately pulling the trigger is that some reviews say it's a bit sluggish when going slow, which is me because I'm somewhere between intermediate and advanced, and that it can be a bit funky on tech climbing, which is one of my weaker areas. Also a few people have said it's a bit front heavy. I do A LOT of up on my bike and I like to take it a bit slower when working through downhill obstacles, how do you think the Hightower would work for me?

If you're already on a 29er you probably won't mind. I demo'ed a Hightower this summer, and felt it was sluggish on local PNW lowland trails compared to my old as gently caress 26" Giant Trance. I'm planning on looking at more 27.5" models when inventory improves.

# ¿ Oct 7, 2020 19:15

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Sab0921 posted:

Got on the bike today after my crash. My wrist is still hosed but it felt good - did my regular 10 mile route and made solid time, though I was helped by a tailwind.

Biking better than not biking.

I wrecked about 5 weeks ago, and my wrists/palms are both still hosed. It's pretty much Zwift time in the PNW so I've just been doing easy trainer rides without hands as much as possible.

# ¿ Oct 22, 2020 22:58

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

The Wiggly Wizard posted:

https://www.specialized.com/us/en/hotwalk-carbon

If I could attach pedals and ride this like a little clown bike I would buy it.

E: lol $1k Jesus Christ

# ¿ Dec 4, 2020 17:31

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

TobinHatesYou posted:

Now they say he was under the influence of meth.

https://www.reviewjournal.com/crime...5nu5UM44smKQcw4

For some reason I assumed you were talking about the Crust bikes post and was thinking �If he was on meth you�d think he�d make more bikes not less.�

# ¿ Dec 17, 2020 06:55

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

If I squint it looks like it says �SHART BUS� on the top tube

# ¿ May 9, 2021 20:19

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

VideoGameVet posted:

I look forward to riding up the 12% grade... 3/4 mile climb to where I live with a heavy scarf around my neck.

Yes, but your long flowing locks can blow in the wind like god intended

# ¿ May 10, 2021 17:27

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Sab0921 posted:

They will watch it only if you have something bad happen like a spectacular crash.

Dash cam rules apply!

Better to have brave and stupid friends that will provide the good content for you.

# ¿ May 17, 2021 01:37

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Sab0921 posted:

Like all of the guys behind this guy:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Wellthatsucks/comments/ndbdfh/time_for_a_little_drink/

gently caress... I�d be too embarrassed to ever ride with that group of friends again after nearly killing 3 of them.

# ¿ May 17, 2021 17:16

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

poemdexter posted:

I bought a bike a couple weeks ago and went on my first group ride Saturday with the bike shop. It was the beginner group, 6 of us total including a bike shop employee, and only 1 of us had been with the group before so all newbies. The route was advertised as 20 miles/13-15mph average which I thought was no big deal since I had done 20 miles/avg 14mph before last week around a big lake nearby. Well, the first half was all down hill into the wind and the second half was mostly flat and spikes of uphill. I ended up falling way behind on this monster hill at around 16 miles and I just died. I walked my bike up like the last 30% of the hill on the sidewalk. The bike shop employee eventually rolled back to check up on me and get me back to the group after we hit the top of the hill and even pointed out a spot he threw up on when he first hit this hill years ago. I felt embarrassed for keeping the group waiting and at that point I was incredibly lightheaded and didn't think I'd make it the rest of the way. I called my fiance to pick me up. I apologized to the group and they were chill and told them I'd be back next Saturday for another attempt.

I had a granola bar, snickers bar, and half a gatorade for breakfast because I was running late and I felt that's what killed me. Also, I'm never sure what gear I should be in so maybe I was going too hard. What do you usually eat night before or breakfast before a long ride? Also, anyone have tips about gearing and hills? I was mostly mirroring what everyone around me was doing and it felt fine. I don't want to be "that guy" that holds back the group and makes a group ride unfun.

I stopped the trip when I started to walk up the hill so you don't even get to see the total incline but god drat it was like a long, steep ride. I definitely want to go again this Saturday. This hill will not defeat me.

You're just out of shape. Ride more and the problems will all fix themselves.

# ¿ May 17, 2021 19:34

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

learnincurve posted:

gently caress that, those guys were dicks.

What are you even talking about? There's not even a speed posted, and that's like 100 feet of climbing in 5 miles.

# ¿ May 17, 2021 19:36

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

T.C. posted:

Are any of the bike computers now able to do reasonable turn by turn directions that pay attention to bike infrastructure. Our bike lane system is pretty good, and there's no reason to not be on it most of the time in the city. If I want to go somewhere new, though, I don't always know where they are. Google maps generally routes along bike routes when you use bike directions, so last time I looked at bike computers I just decided it was better to use my phone mounted on the handlbars. It lets me use Maps and Strava, which are my two bike things. That's a pain for battery life, though. Honestly, most of the time, I just pull up the city bike lane map and route plan myself ahead of time.

Has anyone come up with a non-garbage thing for this that isn't $800. I wish I could figure out a way to use my old/backup phone as a bike computer, but connectivity without paying for another phone plan or running my main phone in hotspot mode seems like a problem.

I�ve been interviewing with Hammerhead and they claim their bread and butter is on the fly route navigation. I�m tempted to drop $400 on one just to see if they�re blowing smoke up my rear end.

# ¿ May 20, 2021 02:36

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

My supacaz looked the same, but I never tracked how many miles it took to look worn. Their stuff seems super cheaply made, In general, and they try to make up for it with a niche style.

# ¿ May 20, 2021 05:00

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

iospace posted:

Banged out another metric.

At 3:59:59 time of hitting 62 miles.

Three day total: 176.8 miles.

Please remove my legs.

(Also Garmin, with only a heart rate strap, said that I burned all of 2k calories on that 80 miler. My rear end I burned only 2k calories)

Maybe if you ended at 0 elevation gain

# ¿ May 21, 2021 02:52

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

learnincurve posted:

This isn�t that but I wish it was - it�s like each layer of the lock mechanism is spinning independently - it�s three months old and only been in the shed - the chain is what I bought it for so I�ve swapped it for an albus lock I had which will fit round the rear triangle. The reviews all said bin the tiny U lock and I found out why.

This happens all the time on my lovely secondary master lock U lock that I got for free as a replacement when people found out you could open their old models with a BIC pen. I just have to lightly jiggle things around until the layers all realign and the key finally inserts all the way. I found this out after being forced to take an Uber XL home one night because I couldn�t get the drat thing off. Luckily I was not chained to anything and was just using it as a light theft deterrent because it was in sight.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2021 17:56

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Weirdest n+1 of my life� I really shouldn�t be allowed to eBay on weekend nights.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 16:05

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

lol the gently caress is this? Incredible

It�s a straight up tiny clown bike with 6.5� wheels. I�m hoping it weighs less than 10 pounds so I can tote it around RAGBRAI and goad drunk people into trying to ride it.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2021 16:24

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

I�m ready to drop a watt bomb.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 01:52

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

The clown bike weighs 18.5 loving pounds of solid steel. Dios mio

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 02:04

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

bicievino posted:

Holy poo poo did you put Garmin vectors on it?
I loooove it.

Also: can your toes touch the ground on that thing?

Yeah, I still hadn�t put them on my Checkpoint because I don�t have a pedal wrench so I figured what the hey.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 02:53

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

kimbo305 posted:

Is the fork backwards on purpose, for extra trail/stability?

It�s backwards for extra comedy.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 04:50

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

MalleusDei posted:

I need new gloves. I want full fingers. Are handups the best choice? I've got a pair of PI that fit pretty well, but I feel like they wore out real fast...

Fox Gloves are the best I've ever worn, but pretty much only use them for MTB unless I feel like there's added risk of falling due to road conditions or drinks consumed. They have various levels of breathability with Rangers being quite light, and something like the DirtPaw being pretty heavy.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 18:01

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

e.pilot posted:

This.

I�m happy to help and give the best advice I can, as are others here. But asking the same thing over and over again in increasingly woe is me whiny fashion after ignoring the same advice given by multiple people it gets real tiring.

Guys the clown bike is giving me a sore knee. What are my options?

# ¿ Jun 18, 2021 20:36

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

e.pilot posted:

Have you tried a larger clown bike? Like a bike friday pocket rocket?

No joke I was literally hours away from buying a pocket rocket two weeks ago and the Craigslist guy flaked on me. No texts for 7 days and finally he asked if I still wanted to buy it.

�I've been dealing with family emergencies then went to the mountains to process...out of cell range..so my apologies for no response.
If you want to come to my house and look at the bike we can set up a time. �

# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 01:08

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

e.pilot posted:

Do it, you won't regret it.

I showed my wife your bike and she still made fun of me or wanting to buy a tiny wheel bike. Nuance is lost on the ignorant.

your bike is loving awesome

e: she thinks the clown bike is hilarious so apparently there�s an extreme ground. There is no room for a middle ground

resident fucked around with this message at 11:03 on Jun 19, 2021

# ¿ Jun 19, 2021 11:00

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Did we do a RAGBRAI roll call here yet? I�m so loving pumped after missing last year. I ride with Team Liverstrong, and can often be found lagging the crowds by a few hours with the rest of the degenerates. Day one is going to be a doozy at 86 miles.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2021 19:40

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Head Bee Guy posted:

Has anyone here had experience with an all-city zigzag 105?

Im mostly just fantasizing about the next bike, but it looks great.

I live in nyc and need one bike to do it all, and i love going fast. but carbon is out because i need to throw a heavy lock on it and not have it fal apart two months later if i get in a little fender bender with a taxi.

I have a giant contend 3, would this thing be appreciably faster?

My best friend�s GF is a carless biker, rides about 6k miles per year, and has the purple frame zig zag 105 as her primary commuter. It�s a super nice looking bike to be sure. Not sure if you�ll notice much speed difference since you�re already on a drop bar bike. The most immediately appreciable upgrade would probably be the hydro disc brakes, but the overall bump in component quality would a nice treat if you can afford it.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2021 20:45

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

TobinHatesYou posted:

Bonking is very obvious and it comes in phases. First it feels like you have an empty stomach, then eventually it feels like your liver is eating itself. If you keep going, then your legs will feel like they are filled with lead all of a sudden�literally as if your body flipped a switch.

If none of this happened, then you just overexerted yourself.

When you bonk, the opposite should happen to your HR. Since your leg muscles will no longer have a fuel source, your HR will absolutely not be the limiting factor. I suspect you were merely dehydrated.

If I wake up, skip breakfast and go on a fasted ride, it takes me about 2.5 hours to bonk while riding tempo.

You skipped my favorite bonking step of feeling like a drunkard as your brain becomes cloudy and useless.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2021 23:45

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

poemdexter posted:

During the group ride last night, I realized that one guy had a bell on his bike for the explicit purpose of ringing it at the people who waved at us as we rode by.

I�ve got my own spurcycle salutation language:

1 ding = hi
2 dings = on your left
3 dings = pay attention
Non-stop dings = you are going to loving kill me/us

# ¿ Aug 5, 2021 18:55

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

I�m doing a ferry to ferry ride from Bremerton to Bainbridge Island today in 10-20mph winds and perhaps made a poor decision not to switch from my 41mm to 22mm wheels. May the wind gods smile upon me.

# ¿ Aug 7, 2021 20:07

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

learnincurve posted:

People ride without clingfilm covering the bottle tops in the wet?

This but camelbak dirt series with the little nipple covers. After I heard about that race where a ton of people got ecoli from goat poo poo I switched exclusively to those bottles.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2021 20:56

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 17:04

resident: Dec 22, 2005; WE WERE ALL UP IN THAT SHIT LIKE A MUTHAFUCKA. IT'S CLEANER THAN A BROKE DICK DOG.

Rad-daddio posted:

Hi bike thread!

Here is the fun vintage tri bike that I built up and rode in a race right before covid hit. I found the frame(Bertoni Corsa) two years ago on CL and slowly amassed parts to finish it. It's all Shimano 600 tricolor, and I just had to have the infamous Scott DH aero bar even though it's anything but aero. Oddly enough, it still fits my giant goony body. It was originally intended to be office decoration mostly, but I got a smart trainer and ended up putting thousands of miles on it before switching it out for my Kestrel.

My high point was passing a guy on the bike leg of my last tri with this thing. He was riding a Pinarello Bolide(13k-ish bike), and I caught him at the turnaround and blasted by him. He wasn't happy about it, and tried to catch up a few times. Ended up finishing 7th overall on the bike leg, and 11th overall for the whole race.

That atrocious neon green bar tape is the perfect anti-fashion gently caress you in that situation. :discourse:

Those bars have so much tubing it looks like they could be chopped down to make a 49cm bike in a pinch. I love it.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2021 19:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > The Great Outdoors > Bicycle Megathread 5: i warned you about bikes bro!!!

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