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He has 22,895 yards, 1,549 receptions, and 197 touchdowns. For perspective, here are the leaders around him: Yards 1. Jerry Rice - 22,895 2. Larry Fitzgerald - 17,492 3. Terrell Owens - 15, 934 Receptions 1. Jerry Rice - 1549 2. Larry Fitzgerald - 1432 3. Tony Gonzalez - 1325 Touchdown Receptions 1. Jerry Rice - 197 2. Randy Moss - 156 3. Terrell Owens - 153 Jerry Rice played for 19 years. That’s a long time! But what if he and everyone else in the NFL suddenly had feet for hands? Would Jerry Rice still be the triple crown leader? Would it be by a similar margin, or would everyone else catch up with him? What about if everyone had hands for feet? Would that affect the receiving totals by any significant amount? Who would be the best receiver with feet hands and hand feets? Would they still wear cleats on their feet that are substituting for hands? Or would they wear grippy socks with pads? What would cleats look like for hands at the ends of your legs? Would the receiving leaderboard look dramatically different depending on whether or not the receivers had cleat feet gloves or grippy sock gloves?
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Apr 15, 2021 12:33
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Finally somebody came out and asked what we’ve all been thinking.
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Apr 15, 2021 12:51
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If they wore cleats to catch, they would pop the ball with the spikes! Athletes should wear Vibram Fivefingers instead.
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Apr 15, 2021 12:57
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Rex Ryan just shuddered and he doesn’t know why.
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Apr 15, 2021 13:06
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All the numbers would be worse but Jerry Rice's relative superiority would be unchanged.
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Apr 15, 2021 13:15
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What if just one of the hands and feet were swapped.
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Apr 15, 2021 13:16
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Phobeste posted:What if just one of the hands and feet were swapped. i’m glad you asked jerry rice stays at the top, cris carter is now 2nd in all categories NickRoweFillea posted:If they wore cleats to catch, they would pop the ball with the spikes! Athletes should wear Vibram Fivefingers instead. this is a good point
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Apr 15, 2021 13:23
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dont know
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Apr 15, 2021 14:08
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I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?
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Apr 15, 2021 14:23
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then it really would be handegg
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Apr 15, 2021 14:28
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I believe Jerry would hold all the records regardless of where the feet and hands are, but what if butts were faces?
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Apr 15, 2021 15:21
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Apr 15, 2021 15:28
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that's a good argument against butts for faces but still i must ask: does the helmet catch become less special if his butt was his face
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Apr 15, 2021 15:32
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what does this mean for sanchez and his legacy?
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Apr 15, 2021 15:32
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3 DONG HORSE posted:I believe Jerry would hold all the records regardless of where the feet and hands are, but what if butts were faces? the league already tried this with roethlisberger and the results have been terrible
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Apr 15, 2021 15:34
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Centers are going to have a hell of a time snapping the ball with their new feethands, and the chain to 'successful forward pass' just gets harder from there. I think you're into Jon Bois territory of broken football here.
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Apr 15, 2021 15:37
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What if Michael Vick was white?
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Apr 15, 2021 16:13
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beggar posted:Centers are going to have a hell of a time snapping the ball with their new feethands, and the chain to 'successful forward pass' just gets harder from there. I think you're into Jon Bois territory of broken football here. Probably centers would no longer snap the ball with their hand hands and instead snap it with their leg hands. Definitely long snappers. No longer a need to aim the ball through your legs and you could give it extra kick. It would be like having a donkey as a long snapper. I bet the kicking game would suffer overall though. You'd lose 10-15 yards off of the field goal record I bet.
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Apr 15, 2021 16:23
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3 DONG HORSE posted:what does this mean for sanchez and his legacy? The play makes more sense now. He was trying to make his face into a butt.
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Apr 15, 2021 17:29
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This is almost a question for Jon Bois.
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Apr 15, 2021 17:52
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Who would be a better wide receiver, Braylon Edwards with hands for feet, Braylon Edwards with feet for hands, or Braylon Edwards?
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Apr 15, 2021 17:54
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fartknocker posted:What if Michael Vick was white? 
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Apr 15, 2021 18:15
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rude!  rare Magic card l00k posted:Who would be a better wide receiver, Braylon Edwards with hands for feet, Braylon Edwards with feet for hands, or Braylon Edwards? braylon edwards with hands for feet. with four hands that drop rate is going to plummet.
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Apr 15, 2021 18:24
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If everyone had hands for feet there would be trick plays where linemen pick up wide receivers and hold them overhead, thus freeing up the WR's foothands and allowing them four hands to catch with. Given that you'd need your O-line to be able to keep up with your receivers this would probably only be used in the red zone and on 2-pt conversions.
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Apr 17, 2021 13:26
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Ah yes, a man of exquisite taste, a lover of fine goods, and fan of the... MINNESOTA VIKINGS!?
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Apr 17, 2021 13:36
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In this universe, does Stickum still exist?
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Apr 17, 2021 20:57
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Declan MacManus posted:braylon edwards with hands for feet. with four hands that drop rate is going to plummet. But Braylon Edwards is at his best when trying to catch with one hand instead of with two. Extra hands might make him worse!
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Apr 17, 2021 21:26
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I've been thinking about this. Judging by the numbers and most importantly the sight test, Jerry Rice historically had the quickest hands and feet. Say F = Feet and H = Hands. If hands become feet and feet become hands, and we are asking about a world in which F(H)=H(F), then I submit that, considering the data and my gut, there is no difference and Jerry Rice is the triple crown in both universes.
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Apr 18, 2021 01:17
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Thought this was going to be another Jon Bois video thread.
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Apr 18, 2021 02:24
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If everyone had feet for hands Chad would be #1.
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Apr 18, 2021 03:39
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man i haven't thought about braylon edwards in a while
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Apr 18, 2021 11:27
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C-Euro posted:Thought this was going to be another Jon Bois video thread. let me boot up indesign and see what i can make happen
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Apr 18, 2021 14:04
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