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It's a wild time in the NFL. Tom Brady has retired, Aaron Rodgers has basically retired, and the Ravens are playing contract chicken with a former MVP. On top of that, there are four QB prospects who could realistically go in the top 10 of this year's draft, and all of them are equally likely to be Hall of Fame-caliber superstars. Who will be the first one off the board? And how will the rest of the teams reap the benefits? Time to put on our GM caps and figure it out. Welcome to the 2023 Goon Draft! The Rules  PLEASE READ THE RULES WHY WOULD YOU SIGN UP FOR THIS AND NOT READ THE RULESEach team will have one poster as its GM, responsible for making the picks (which, for the sake of easy tracking, will be posted in a separate thread once the draft commences). Teams are first come first serve. War rooms are fine, so long as there is a designated spokesperson. The clock on each pick is 24 hours, at which point if the spokesperson has not made a pick I will make one for them.No trades will be allowed, as they just tend to complicate things and previous drafts have run much more efficiently without them. If you just want to take part and don’t care which team you get, post and I’ll assign you to a team that might not have any other takers (probably be a few this year). The goal is to start by April 1, but we'll start earlier if all the teams are claimed. Round 1 1) Carolina Panthers (from Chicago) zimbomonkey 2) Houston Texans Sad King Billy 3) Arizona Cardinals Hamhandler 4) Indianapolis Colts ShakeZula 5) Seattle Seahawks (from Denver) Ornery and Hornery 6) Detroit Lions (from L.A. Rams) Hizawk 7) Las Vegas Raiders MrLogan 8) Atlanta Falcons Grip it and rip it 9) Chicago Bears (from Carolina) mastershakeman 10) Philadelphia Eagles (from New Orleans) Quiet Feet 11) Tennessee Titans wandler20 12) Houston Texans (from Cleveland) Sad King Billy 13) New York Jets Professor Funk 14) New England Patriots barnold 15) Green Bay Packers surf rock 16) Washington Commanders Ches Neckbeard 17) Pittsburgh Steelers Perry the Platypus 18) Detroit Lions Hizawk 19) Tampa Bay Buccaneers wandler20 20) Seattle Seahawks Ornery and Hornery 21) Los Angeles Chargers a neat cape 22) Baltimore Ravens Eifert Posting 23) Minnesota Vikings Darth Brooks 24) Jacksonville Jaguars EmbryoSteve 25) New York Giants Ches Neckbeard 26) Dallas Cowboys Pron on VHS 27) Buffalo Bills fsif 28) Cincinnati Bengals BrownThunder 29) New Orleans Saints (from San Francisco through Miami and Denver) Silly Burrito 30) Philadelphia Eagles Quiet Feet 31) Kansas City Chiefs Kevino07 Teams with no first-rounders: Miami Dolphins Amy Pole Her Denver Broncos Afterbirth Aftermath Los Angeles Rams Pontius Pilate Cleveland Browns Cavauro San Francisco 49ers Silly Burrito Claim your team! ShakeZula fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Mar 30, 2023 |
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Mar 22, 2023 21:11
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Bucs!
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Mar 22, 2023 21:12
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Jetz
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Mar 22, 2023 21:12
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Bills
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Mar 22, 2023 21:14
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Seahawks E: if another Seahawks goon wants to take Seahawks, they can. I did it last year, so someone else can have a turn. I’d like to do a team though, if possible  Otherwise I’m stoked to do Seattle and I appreciate the effort, OP!!! Ornery and Hornery fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Mar 22, 2023 |
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Mar 22, 2023 21:16
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I'll take the Raiders
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Mar 22, 2023 21:35
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Bears
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Mar 22, 2023 21:37
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I will take the new england fartriots
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Mar 22, 2023 21:38
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Ornery and Hornery posted:Seahawks I swear to god if you draft Anthony Richardson I will poo poo post so hard about how he's going to be the greatest Seahawks QB ever
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Mar 22, 2023 21:47
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Since the seahawks are taken ill take whatever team doesn't have a fan/drafter once we are ready to start
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Mar 22, 2023 21:59
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Dolphins! Time to take a nap
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Mar 22, 2023 22:08
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I want to be Dennis Allen. Wait. poo poo. Gimme the Saints please.
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Mar 22, 2023 22:17
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Since the Raiders are claimed, I will fill in on an unclaimed team again.
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Mar 22, 2023 22:26
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I'll take the Texans please.
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Mar 22, 2023 22:31
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MrLogan posted:Since the Raiders are claimed, I will fill in on an unclaimed team again. You can have the Raiders, I'd only take them if no other Raiders fan wanted them. I will take the Chargers
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Mar 23, 2023 00:42
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a neat cape posted:You can have the Raiders, I'd only take them if no other Raiders fan wanted them. Thanks, Ross. Everyone, please take your hands off Tyree Wilson.
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Mar 23, 2023 02:39
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I'll take the Falcons
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Mar 23, 2023 02:42
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op you seem to keep forgetting to add my name to the team listbarnold posted:I will take the new england fartriots
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Mar 23, 2023 04:51
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I will take the Cincinatti Bengals.
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Mar 23, 2023 04:58
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MrLogan posted:Thanks, Ross. Invite me and warcrimes into the war room
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Mar 23, 2023 05:27
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I feel like, as a general rule, you should probably keep war crimes out of a war room
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Mar 23, 2023 05:28
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If no other Vikings fans call for it I'll take them but I'm really willing to let someone else try.
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Mar 23, 2023 05:28
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I will do the needful for the Panthers if no one else wants to/cares enough to stop me I'm gonna choose the good one
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Mar 23, 2023 07:20
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I'll take the Lions, but obviously willing to War room with all the other Lions posters.
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Mar 23, 2023 07:27
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ShakeZula posted:I feel like, as a general rule, you should probably keep war crimes out of a war room there will be plenty of warcrimes on Josh McDaniels' draft board, friend
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Mar 23, 2023 16:17
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Hizawk posted:I'll take the Lions, but obviously willing to War room with all the other Lions posters. Do us proud. Defend the Den.
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Mar 23, 2023 16:58
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I'll take the Chiefs if none of the other Chiefs posters wants to take the reins
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Mar 23, 2023 20:41
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Nervous posted:I swear to god if you draft Anthony Richardson I will poo poo post so hard about how he's going to be the greatest Seahawks QB ever Hey, you, Nervous. I got you a gift certificate for platinum. Code: 0608410-9431678789-8069B To use a certificate, view your shopping cart and use the 'apply certificate' link to enter its certificate code. Use it ya dork
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Mar 24, 2023 06:29
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Thank you for contributing to the Richard Lowtax Continuing Sobriety Fund.
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Mar 24, 2023 06:58
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zimbomonkey posted:I will do the needful for the Panthers if no one else wants to/cares enough to stop me
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Mar 24, 2023 13:33
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zimbomonkey posted:Thank you for contributing to the Richard Lowtax Continuing Sobriety Fund. I don't think he'll have problems staying sober
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Mar 24, 2023 15:39
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Sataere posted:I don't think he'll have problems staying sober If they don’t have booze and drugs in hell then I might need to start turning my life around
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Mar 24, 2023 15:57
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Docjowles posted:If they don’t have booze and drugs in hell then I might need to start turning my life around How do you inject the needle when you aren't corporeal?
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Mar 24, 2023 16:16
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People smarter than I am haven't taken the Eagles, so I'm gonna.
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Mar 24, 2023 16:16
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Quiet Feet posted:People smarter than I am haven't taken the Eagles, so I'm gonna. I formally offer you my fifth round pick for cash considerations
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Mar 24, 2023 16:21
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Sataere posted:I don't think he'll have problems staying sober  (i assume)
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Mar 24, 2023 17:16
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Pontius Pilate posted:
It’s not TFF if we don’t fully explain and exhaust the joke babbbyyyyy
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Mar 24, 2023 17:16
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Amy Pole Her posted:It’s not TFF if we don’t fully explain and exhaust the joke babbbyyyyy
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Mar 24, 2023 18:27
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I'll take the Cardinals, but I'll gladly give it up if a fan wants them.
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Mar 24, 2023 18:50
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Hamhandler posted:I'll take the Cardinals, but I'll gladly give it up if a fan wants them. Nobody ever picks the Cardinals, so your service is appreciated
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Mar 24, 2023 18:55
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