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- Make the soccer/"football" goal as big as the penalty area to increase scoring. Seriously, any sport where 1 goal is an achievement and often insurmountable is ludicrous. I want to see 8-6 footie match scores on the pitch. How can you disagree with this? - Reduce the number of refs and fouls in basketball by 66% - NFL football eliminates TV timeouts and all uniforms are ads, like Fly Emirates, my favorite team. Also, cyborgs. Also drone ads and hologram ads. - Increase the size of freaking hockey goals too.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:23
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what?
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Jun 30, 2024 00:25
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eliminate the rule barring dogs from playing
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Jun 30, 2024 00:25
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Farg posted:what? You heard me.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:26
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Remove the weight and mobility restriction for NHL goalies. I want to see the chunkers from my 800 pound life fork trucked into that goal and plomped down.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:26
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Bad Purchase posted:eliminate the rule barring dogs from playing Since Air Bud 4 dogs are technically allowed to play in the NBA but none has made it past the G League to date.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:26
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u have to play barefoot
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Jun 30, 2024 00:26
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LaserPrinter69 posted:Remove the weight and mobility restriction for NHL goalies. I want to see the chunkers from my 800 pound life fork trucked into that goal and plomped down. They have weight restrictions?! Dang.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:27
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everybody must play nude. nfl, nba, etc
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Jun 30, 2024 00:28
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every sport adopts the gun circle
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Jun 30, 2024 00:31
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mailorder bees posted:everybody must play nude. nfl, nba, etc Like the original Olympics. Imagine all the changes in strategy when dudes wangs are swinging all over.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:37
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The only penalty in soccer is murder. The points scored in a football TD or FG are proportional to the distance thrown, run or kicked on the play. The hockey rink is made as big as a soccer field. Baseball batters have to physically fight the other team to get on each base after a hit. Using the bat to do so is legal. Basketball is played in a stadium with 1/4 gravity.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:37
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Every penalty in football should be half the distance to the goal. It'd make the game much more dynamic. Also the refs should have to hit the offending player with the flag or it doesn't count.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:40
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ban golf, convert all the courses into community gardens and free housing paid for by bezos and musk. increase the max allowable weight of bowling balls to 42 pounds and put a sick jump halfway down the lane. shorten basketball season from 11 months to 7 weeks. bomb yankee stadium. dig up marge schott and elect her to congress. (R district only. it's what she would want) induct j edgar hoover into the drag racing hall of fame. 3 words: international hungry hungry hippo league! new kinda dog racing:
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Jun 30, 2024 00:44
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redshirt posted:Like the original Olympics. tbh it wouldn't change much, but it would be funny to be included in official stats. Like here comes Davey Charles, 6 foot 1, 4 inches erect (average), 225lbs
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Jun 30, 2024 00:51
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LaserPrinter69 posted:tbh it wouldn't change much, but it would be funny to be included in official stats. Like here comes Davey Charles, 6 foot 1, 4.5 inches (average), 225lbs Are you crazy? Running? Tackling? Posting up in the box when your junk is hanging out? Everything becomes more difficult. Not to mention nut shots, especially baseball.
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Jun 30, 2024 00:53
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Olympics should be all nude and the something awful Olympics subforum mods must continue to enforce the no horny posting rule.
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Jun 30, 2024 01:04
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Allow metal bats and steroid use in baseball. I wanna see more dingers.
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Jun 30, 2024 01:10
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Each side in any sport should have one call per match to replace the ball/shuttlecock/etc with a food item of their choice for five minutes
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Jun 30, 2024 01:17
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I think the nhl would be more interesting if they change it so hockey players give each other handjobs instead of fighting
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Jun 30, 2024 01:20
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~~ Sports Patch Notes ~~ Baseball: Pitch clock from 15 seconds to 12 seconds on open bases, and from 20 seconds to 15 seconds on occupied bases All calls are reviewable either by challenge or by booth Home Base umps no longer call balls and strikes - Robots do that now. Managers yelling at officials is now a 10 game suspension. Basketball: Officials will now actually call traveling Arguing about any traveling calls results in an immediate technical foul Quarter length reduced to 10 minutes. Football: Kick-offs and punt returns have been removed After scoring a field goal or a touchdown, the scoring team now can choose to take a 4th and 15 player at their own 40 yard line, or for the opposing team to begin their standard possession at their 20 yard line. At the beginning of each half, the team that is the 'receiving' team shall start a standard possession at their own 20 yard line. Field Goals are now worth 4 points if the ball is spotted further than the opponents 40 yard line Nascar: Deleted this 'sport'. We all realized this is incredibly loving stupid Golf: All lateral hazards are now played as out of bounds. You incur a 1 stroke penalty and must retake your previous shot Tennis: Adjusted the scoring system to be way less stupid. We actually count by 1 now. Not by 15/10 depending on how we feel about it. Hockey: Enforcers now give each other handjobs instead of fighting
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Jun 30, 2024 01:32
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Need a bigger gun in the gun circle. Athletes are stronger and faster than ever before and high caliber rounds would be nice.
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Jun 30, 2024 01:33
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Make the tour de France a 21 day bicycle scavenger hunt that roams the country.
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Jun 30, 2024 01:50
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I think drug use should be allowed in sports. Not just steroids and blood doping and stuff but mandatory field-leveling drugs too, like there should be a mandatory hallucinogen handicap for the best players and compulsory methamphetamine doses for their lesser peers
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Jun 30, 2024 01:58
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free hubcaps posted:I think drug use should be allowed in sports. Not just steroids and blood doping and stuff but mandatory field-leveling drugs too, like there should be a mandatory hallucinogen handicap for the best players and mandatory methamphetamine doses for their lesser peers The Harrison Bergeron Playing Field
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Jun 30, 2024 01:59
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Random Double Jeopardies in baseball
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Jun 30, 2024 02:00
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Sophy Wackles posted:
If you watch European hockey, they play on a larger rink. Bring back the Bullpen Car!
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Jun 30, 2024 02:05
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Overtime shootouts in Hockey replaced by "puke jousting": Two folding chairs are placed at centre ice facing each other and two players selected at random from each team. Each player is given a jug of flat, warm Molson Canadian or Labatt (players choice). Once they start drinking they cannot stop until theyve spewed on the other player or are given another jug. If you get puked on youre eliminated and your team loses.
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Jun 30, 2024 02:05
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100% more "Cheer Dudes"
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Jun 30, 2024 02:07
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Instead of confusing overtime rules, the NFL should settle ties by having the head coaches engage in an anything goes kumite on the 50-yard line.
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Jun 30, 2024 02:48
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dee eight posted:ban golf, convert all the courses into community gardens and free housing paid for by bezos and musk. These are all great ideas! Someone did an homage to the Hot Dog truck in 24 hours of Lemons. 
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Jun 30, 2024 02:57
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Put a second ball on the field to make soccer more interesting
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Jun 30, 2024 02:58
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Baseball: the better is allowed to carry his bat to 1st base after a hit to try to whack the 1st baseman to disrupt the play. Golf: the other day at work we invented(?) skeetgolf. Everybody gets rifles and they are allowed to try to shoot your ball out of the air. If your ball is just damaged you still have to play it. We're still working out some of the rules, like would the group in front be allowed to shoot backwards, but it's coming along nicely. Anyone want to invest?
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Jun 30, 2024 03:00
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Presto posted:Baseball: the better is allowed to carry his bat to 1st base after a hit to try to whack the 1st baseman to disrupt the play. Can I have a machine gun equipped golf cart? With missles?
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Jun 30, 2024 03:03
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The third quarter of every NBA game will be played on donkeys
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Jun 30, 2024 03:05
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No team sports will be played before noon, including childrens games E- just a proposal, it hasnt actually gone into effect yet, just fyi
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Jun 30, 2024 03:05
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Presto posted:
Is that you Dick Cheney?
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Jun 30, 2024 03:05
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Fan participation in all sports Throwing fish onto the ice, streaking at football games, squirt guns and air horns at golf, etc
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Jun 30, 2024 03:06
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the nfl should let fans kiss the football between plays
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Jun 30, 2024 03:08
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NASCAR gets item pickups like Mariokart
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Jun 30, 2024 03:10
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