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Chexoid posted:Rewatching UFC 86 and ahaha Joe Rogan calls Tyson Griffin a future hall of famer. My favourite will always be Houston Alexander, a legit prospect after defeating...Alessio Sakara and Keith Jardine. gently caress, what a weird period for the sport.
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Jan 31, 2017 00:38
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Snowman_McK posted:My favourite will always be Houston Alexander, a legit prospect after defeating...Alessio Sakara and Keith Jardine. I remember the "Houston Alexander is for REAL!" sound bite playing constantly for a while, right before his losing skid of course
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Jan 31, 2017 00:54
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chaleski posted:I remember the "Houston Alexander is for REAL!" sound bite playing constantly for a while, right before his losing skid of course He's still going, actually. He pops up on b-league events all the time.
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Jan 31, 2017 01:18
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He's got 6 kids to feed.
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Jan 31, 2017 01:20
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Belgian Waffle posted:Hey, what's the word on grabbing a second one of these because I need something to take my mind off of politics. Add content to the thread if you want
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Jan 31, 2017 04:07
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Belgian Waffle posted:Hey, what's the word on grabbing a second one of these because I need something to take my mind off of politics. I'll allow it
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Jan 31, 2017 04:20
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I rolled again and got 140. I'll watch it tonight. n/m, internet isn't working Fat Twitter Man fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 04:37
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Fat Twitter Man posted:The bitch tossed to the side was David Heath, not Heath Herring. Jesus Christ   Also watching that fight I think that Tim Boetsch's right leg existed on a plane of reality just outside David Heath's ability to perceive.
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Jan 31, 2017 07:39
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UFC 5: Return of the Beast! We are live from Charlotte, NC. Our commentary crew is Bruce Beck, JEFF THE GOD BLATNICK (:3) and Jim Brown. Ring announcer is Ron Jeremy (No, not that one) Jeff lets us know that the x-factor is Oleg Taktarov, who is Russian, a sambo champ, and an unknown. Jim Brown calls him "Horace Gracie" Alternate fights - Dave Beneteau beat Asbel Cancio in 21 seconds, while Guy Mezger defeated John Dowdy Quarter-finals #1 Andy Anderson (Tae Kwon Do) vs Jon Hess (Scientific Aggressive Fighting Technology of America)  Vs.  Anderson gets walked out by OSP's dad  Anderson is 86-0, 86 KOs in bareknuckle challenge matches, which is totally real. Hess is only a 4th degree master in his own made up fighting style, showing humility. Fight starts and Hess charges forward, flailing like a drunk bear, or maybe Semmy Schilt with a crippling motor neuron disease. Anderson goes down, but sweeps Hess. Hess closes guard and they get back to their feet. More sloppy mauling, Hess shoves Anderson down and kicks him in the face. Big John stops the fight! QF #2 Todd Medina (Jeet Kune Do) vs Larry Cureton (Kickboxing) Todd is friends with Kimo and Joe Son (Boo!). Cureton is a firefighter (Yay!). Todd shoots for a double, gets the takedown and Larry looks for a garbage guillotine. Medina escapes and starts throwing headbutts from full guard  Cureton doesn't like the headbutts and turns, letting Medina pass to side control. Larry grabs a head and holds on, opening up his thigh meats to deadly JKD punches. Medina frees his head and just jams a forearm across Cureton's throat. Aaaand there's the tapout. QF #3 Oleg Taktarov (Sambo) vs Ernest Verdecia (Karate) Beck has pronounced "Taktarov" at least 3 different ways. Verdecia backs Oleg to the fence, they clinch and Ernest ends up on top in full guard. Oleg tries to go for a leg, but Ernest escapes, ends up in Oleg's butterflies and throws a solid headbutt. Oleg starts hand fighting, sweeps into side control and taps out Verdecia with a compressor QF# 4 Dan Severn (Beastin) vs Joe Charles (Ghetto) Severn, accompanied by his grandma  vs Joe Charles, master of weird ball poo poo   Severn blasts a double and gets Charles down against the cage. He throws some knees to Joe's dome. Dan throwing some GnP from guard, but Charles is looking for an armbar  Charles rolls over, trying to escape, but Severn locks up a RNC, aaaaand there's the tap!Breaking New! Jon Hess' lovely flailing gave him an owie. He's got a bruised hand, and won't continue in the tournament. Dave Beneteau will replace him. Semi-Final #1 Todd "Funky Cold" Medina vs Dave Beneteau Medina coming into this fight with some Battle Damage in the form of swelling around his left eyebrow. Beneteau instantly shoots a takedown and gets into half guard. He throws a few headbutts, but not much on the ground. Medina kicks Beneteau off, but can't get back to his feet and Beneteau ends up in full mount. Ground and pound, and it's a combination tap out and towel getting thrown in that ends Medina's night. SF #2 Oleg Taktarov vs Dan Severn Severn rushes in, clinches and gets Oleg to the ground and BIG KNEE to the face bones from Beastly Dan. Severn on top and he's slapping at Oleg like an otter trying to open an oyster. Severn lands some headbutts, Oleg swivels for an armbar, but Dan stacks Oleg and drops another huge knee to the loving face. Cut over Oleg's brow. Dan landing knees and headbutts. Big John yells for Severn to work and is just yelling in general at Gokor. And McCarthy has stopped it. Severn wins by TKO (Grody face) SUPER FIGHT Royce Gracie vs Ken Shamrock lovely Gracie kicks leads to Shamrock grabbing a leg and Royce gets to guard about 50 seconds in. Ken going for a few little headbutts, but for the most part, Gracie has him locked down in full guard. Royce lands some heel kicks to the kidney, but Shamrock isn't reacting. "Shamrock a living legend in Japan. They've got a cartoon in Japan about his life, and a comic book, also called manga" Thanks for that tidbit, Bruce! While there are no rounds, I'd give the first 5 minutes to Royce. He landed a terrible kick on the feet, but he landed it. Ken threw maybe 3 headbutts on top, while Royce was more active on bottom with heel kicks. I hate this already. Gracie locks up Shamrock and holds it, holds it, HOLDS IT! Royce opens up a bit with some lefts, and Ken replies with headbutts. For like 5 seconds. Ken breaks free, and showing all of his single digit fight IQ, dives right back in. Shamrock starts throwing knees to the butt. Ten minutes gone, and Royce was more active off his back than Shamrock was on top yet again. I welcome death now. Royce now slapping Shamrock. McCarthy telling both men to keep working, and most surprising of all, the crowd isn't drowning them in boos. 15 minutes gone, and I'd once again give this chunk of fight to Gracie, thanks to his slaps and heel kicks. Ken threw a punch and like 2 headbutts. I'm going to bite my own face off. Ken finally gets his head free of Royce's gi grabbing, but doesn't posture up or do much with it. Gracie gets his lockdown back and continues to keep Shamrock close. 20 minutes in, and maybe Shamrock could take this portion? He had a decent little flurry of strikes and he broke free of Royce a few times. I still want to throw myself into a volcano. Update on Oleg Taktarov (I barely remember him by this point): multiple stitches in his head, he's otherwise ok. At this point, Fight Pass starts buffering and jumping around, but I honestly don't mind. More guard lockdown and kidney kicks. Minute 25, and I guess I'd give this portion of this non-judged fight to Royce. I wonder if Severn has entered hibernation at this point. Bruce Beck just called this a tremendous battle of metal. I wish I was watching Knight Fights instead. Or BattleBots, that'd be cooler. We are past 30 minutes because the timekeeper walked into a lake. Big John finally steps in at 31:06, and we now have a 5 minute overtime. Ffffuuuuu Gracie shoots for a takedown, Ken stuffs it and Royce pulls guard. Gracie's got a mouse and cut under his eye, but Ken can't do a whole lot. Five minutes are up and we have a draw. Crowd chants "bull poo poo!" FINALS! Dave Beneteau vs Dan Severn They clinch, Beneteau throws a few uppercuts, but Severn forces him into the fence. After some prolonged cage clinching, Severn trips Beneteau and ends up in side control. Severn gets a double wristlock and torques, forcing the cowardly Canadar to submit. Severn wins the big gold belt, which goes well with his NWA big gold belt. Overall, the event was solid, would have been great without Shamrock/Gracie, but whatever.
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Jan 31, 2017 07:47
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LobsterMobster, your posts are a delight. I think for the pro-est of posters older events should be mandatory in this game.
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Jan 31, 2017 09:58
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Jan 31, 2017 18:49
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Jon Hess gouged Andy Anderson's eyes so bad that he was actually fined $2000 for it. His next fight was against a 19-year-old Vitor Belfort on all the steroids the Gracie family could pump in him and the balance of karma was set straight in something like 10 seconds.
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Jan 31, 2017 18:54
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That Gracie/Shamrock fight sounds appalling. At least their horrible Bellator fight was over quickly... and was also hilarious since Shamrock accused Royce of cheating and Royce was all,"Yep I totally did  "
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Jan 31, 2017 22:30
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UFC 4: Revenge of the Warriors The card starts off with Tchaikovsky's always refreshing Russian Dance from the Nutcracker Suite. The date is the 16th of December 1994 at the Expo Square Pavillion in Tulsa, Oklahoma. So, what are these warriors getting revenge on? Well, according to our two announcers, Bruce Beck and Jim Brown, Royce Gracie is mad as figs about not winning UFC 3 (where he pulled out due to fatigue) so he wants revenge on his fatigue I think and Kimo Leopoldo lost to Gracie so his cornerman, Joe Son, decided to enter into the tournament, all for revenge. We're also fighting for an absolutely Massive and Unprecedented purse of... 64... thousand... dollars. Now, that may seem low, but that's probably actually worth quite a lot in 1994 dollars (google says that'd be worth about $103k today) UFC 4 has a tournament format so here is our bracket for the night: Ron "The Black Dragon" Van Clief vs. Royce Gracie Joe Son vs. Keith Hackney Melton Bowen vs. Steve Jennum (Winner of UFC 3) Anthony Macias vs. Daniel Severn Ron "The Black Dragon" Van Clief vs. Royce Gracie  Ron Van Clief is a 51 year old Karate practitioner. He's been doing this for "longer than any of these guys have been alive." Bruce Beck thinks that this may effect his speed, but he's not really sure about that. Prior to the event, Van Clief assured him that he's just going to use hypnosis...? To get over his aging? Royce Gracie is 28 years old. You know who this guy is. This is when I noticed that the announcer is doing this weird echo thing when he announces someone's name. So he's like "ROYCE GRACIE... gracie..." and I don't know what he's going for with it but it's not working. Big John McCarthy is our ref and he's super young; his hair is fantastic. Van Clief is cosplaying as old-man Apollo Creed and I don't know if that's in his favor in a matchup against a non-american fighter. Once again, there are NO RULES. The fight starts immediately as the tale of the tape fades away. Both fighters throw awkward kicks but Gracie recovers and quickly goes for a double leg. He doesn't quite get it but manages the takedown anyways, landing in side control. Van Clief is expending a lot of energy trying to get out of it and even throws a knee but Gracie doesn't seem to give a poo poo and casually moves into full mount. Van Clief is controlling Gracie's posture by pulling on his Gi. Gracie responds by throwing some wicked looking elbows into the back of Van Clief's head. Van Clief rolls to his side and Gracie works for the RNC. All things considered, he defends well against the inevitable, but taps out. As they go through the replay, Beck mentions that Royce is choosing not to punch Van Clief because his grandfather told him not to cause any unnecessary harm, but those elbows seemed to disagree. REVENGE! Joe Son vs. Keith Hackney Oh poo poo! I know about this fight, so maybe the Nutcracker suite was a little bit of clever foreshadowing from the production crew. Joe Son insists that we will see the spirit of the lord of jesus christ tonight and... he's walking out carrying a CROSS?  Jim Brown is incredulous and so am I. Keith Hackney teaches kenpo out of a stripmall or something, but he's a returning fighter to the UFC which seems like a big deal. He has a mullet and looks kind of like a knock off Kurt Russel. The fight starts and both men head towards the middle of the octagon. Hackney throws out a couple of kicks which Son is able to avoid. Son backs up to the fence. Hackney charges in leading with a low kick and a couple punches but Son is able to get ahold of him and both men tumble to the ground. Son does a little bit of wrestling and grabs Hackney's head. Hackney counters by punching Joe Son in the balls.  "Below the belt, but it's legal!" Joe Son is pushing super hard for a guillotine? and won't let go of Hackney's head. Hackney continues to send his fist right into Joe Son's cup and he finally gives up the head lock after taking a few of those. Hackney's in Side Control but he gives that up to go into...  I dunno, I'm assuming it's some sort of 10th planet thing. Joe Son has no idea what's happening but he gives up and taps out. Wikipedia says that Hackney had dug his fingers into Son's Carotid Artery for a blood choke. Radical! Melton Bowen vs. Steve Jennum (Winner of UFC 3) Melton Bowen is a pure boxer and seems to be pretty good at it as an intercontinental champion of some sort. He has zero ground credentials. He is wearing something that looks very similar to modern MMA gloves, and I wonder if this is their first appearance in the ring before they became standard equipment. Steve Jennum won UFC 3 as one of the backup fighters. He's a police officer and also teaches/practices... ninjutsu. Ooh. Jim Brown says that he's got Kicking Techniques, even while on his feet? Maybe he meant to say while not on his feet but that doesn't make much sense either. Some portion of the crowd is booing him and I don't understand why. Jennum and Bowen start a long feeling out process. Jennum has a very wide stance. Jennum goes for a trip but Bowen keeps his balance. Jennum pushes them both into the fence. Bowen throws a few hands into the back of Jennum's head from the clinch but that just allows Jennum to complete his takedown. He gets mount and starts pounding Bowen. Bowen hates this so he tries to get away but Jennum grabs the fence for leverage and drags him back down. Jennum throws more strikes. Bowen shells up and then decides to grab Jennum's hands. Jennum headbutts Bowen in the face, which actually seems to stun both fighters. Jennum stops posturing up while Bowen starts throwing strikes from the bottom. Bowen grabs the fence and gets up. Jennum doesn't let go, so the fighters stand up while clinching. Bowen sneaks in a fantastic uppercut. Jennum lands a massive hip throw and essentially lands in mount. Bowen is dead tired but Jennum quickly tires himself out trying to finish him with ground and pount. Both men are exhausted. They're both still throwing punches, but they're slow and lack any sort of energy or power. Jennum stands up and then drops back down going for an armbar. Bowen resists it as best he can, but he's got nothing left in the tank and he taps out at 4:47. Anthony "Mad Dog" Macias vs. Daniel Severn Mad Dog is a local boy from OKC and a practicing Muay Thai kickboxer. He's got a good mix of striking credentials and was apparently pretty okay at wrestling... back in high school. Dan Severn is a living wrestling legend and has a fantastic moustache. Mad Dog opens up with some low kicks... and holy poo poo he telegraphs them super badly.  He looks down every time before he kicks and Severn seems to pick up on that tell as soon as I do, immediately diving in for a takedown on the next kick. Macias defends really well and even manages to throw in some elbows to the back of Severn's head but can't shake him off at all. Severn is just too powerful and finishes the takedown with a German loving Suplex holy poo poo. Severn gets Macias' back and they stand up... but only because Severn is a perfectionist and that last suplex wasn't good enough.  In suplex city, Severn is mayor. Severn's still got Mad Dog's back and he is smothering him. The size difference is also really noticeable here and Severn looks like a grown man beating up a 14 year old kid... which probably isn't too far off from the truth, actually. Severn quickly sinks in the rear-naked choke. Jim Brown has this to say about Dan Severn's victory, "boy, what I'll tell you, is that wasn't as smooth as Royce Gracie. What I'm looking at is a wrestler with a lot of strength but not the true technique of the Jo-Jitso man." "Good point, Jim." Semi-Finals: Royce Gracie vs. Keith Hackney Jim Brown wonders if we'll see any kicks or maybe even a punch from royce tonight. We find out during Hackney's walkout that Jennum isn't able to continue so he'll be replaced by one of the alternate fighters for the other semi-final match. The fight starts. Royce throws out a tepid leg kick. Keith is waving his hands around but Royce doesn't seem to care at all. Royce throws out a high snap kick but it misses completely. Keith fakes a low kick and Royce shoots. Keith stuffs it and hits Royce with a couple of uppercuts. Royce seems unperturbed. Keith isn't willing to engage at all, forcing Royce to be the aggressor. Royce backs Keith up to the fence and they struggle for advantage in the clinch. Gracie's gi doesn't seem to be doing him any favors here. Hackney grabs ahold of Gracie's collar and nails him with 4 strong punches. They go back to clinching along the fence and Gracie starts kneeing Hackney in the face. Gracie pulls back and they go to the ground. Gracie goes for an arm triangle but Hackney is too strong and gets out of it. Hackney postures up and slams a humongous right hand into Gracie's face. Gracie eats it and takes the opportunity to pull Hackney back to the ground (one of the two loses their mouth piece here). Gracie fights hard for that triangle and starts punching Hackney, who can only defend himself. Gracie swaps over to elbows, which opens up Hackney enough for Gracie to get the Arm Bar. Hackney taps instantly (you can see his elbow get hyperextended in the replay). REVENGE! Semi-Finals: Marcus "The Grasshopper" Bossett vs. Dan Severn Replacing Steve Jennum is Sensei Marcus Bossett and he just wants the kids of his karate Dojo to know that they can do anything they want if they just apply themselves. Dan Severn has 40 pounds on this poor bastard. Bossett starts the fight off with a humongous kick to the body. Severn doubles over but recovers very quickly. Bossett seems to feel like he has the advantage and tries for a two kick combo but Severn counters with a double leg as the second kick comes out and the fight goes to the ground. Severn manhandles Bossett like he's supposed to and locks in an arm-triangle choke within seconds. Finals: Royce Gracie vs. Dan Severn Dan Severn has 80 loving pounds on Gracie. Good christ. Another reminder that there are no rules and there is no escape. Jim Brown thinks that Gracie's Gi is stupid. Severn gets his takedown and this fight is exactly where both fighters want it. Severn's on top and he continues to use his strategy of Be loving Huge. Severn's going for an Arm-Triangle choke but Gracie defends against it. Gracie keeps Severn in his guard. Beck wonders why Severn's not using headbutts and Jim Brown answers, "because he's a wrestler." Severn headbutts Gracie in the face.  Minutes pass... There's a USA chant. Gracie continues to tie Severn up, who is more than happy about grinding down on the smaller man. Severn lands a few punches here and there but it's hard to tell if they're effective. Severn's been in Gracie's guard for like 10 minutes and neither man seems to be able to get any sort of advantage. Severn's getting some ground and pound in but Gracie is avoiding any punishing shots. Gracie threatens with a triangle choke but Severn literally shrugs it away. Seriously, this is pretty much the entire fight. Gracie gets hit in the head as one of the announcers is praising him about not getting hit in the head. "15 minutes into this championship bout. Nothing has changed. It is Not a Riveting final." Gracie goes for another Triangle Choke. I can't see what's going on but the announcers go from thinking that Severn is completely safe to oh poo poo he's in trouble. Gracie tightens up the Triangle and Severn taps out with three heavy slams to the canvas. "The Heart, the Heart is the most important aspect of the fight. Heart of the Lion." ~ Jim Brown Royce Gracie is the UFC 4 champion after a grueling 15 minutes of grappling. And I guess he got his revenge in the end. Good for him. Credits roll to squealing guitars and dirty drums. Belgian Waffle fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Feb 1, 2017 |
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Feb 1, 2017 02:59
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And here Gracie should have rode off into the sunset rather than losing drat near every other fight he took. But I cannot stress enough to you younger folks how much Gracie, at the time, was literally seen as a fight wizard or something.
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Feb 1, 2017 06:23
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Captain Log posted:And here Gracie should have rode off into the sunset rather than losing drat near every other fight he took. A part of me now wishes Royce had lost at UFC 1. Not due to any ill will, but in an interview a long while ago the Gracie's stated that if Royce had lost, they'd have sent Renzo to the next tournament, if he lost, Royler. If HE lost (somehow) they'd have sent in Rickson. Not that that it'd have got to Royler, never mind Rickson. Renzo would have cleared up.
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Feb 1, 2017 11:15
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Belgian Waffle posted:
 This is the most recent Gracie UFC win.
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Feb 1, 2017 15:44
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i really respect the gracies ... their pride is a maybe little goofy and most of them arent that good at actually winning fights no matter how many steroids they take but they really are arguably responsible for advancing the art of fighting than any other family in the 6000 years or so previous
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Feb 1, 2017 16:17
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CommonShore posted:
It's a pretty good one. There's a Gracie breakdown featuring CM Punk about it.
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Feb 1, 2017 16:41
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I.N.R.I posted:i really respect the gracies ... their pride is a maybe little goofy and most of them arent that good at actually winning fights no matter how many steroids they take but they really are arguably responsible for advancing the art of fighting than any other family in the 6000 years or so previous Lol
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Feb 1, 2017 17:32
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Gracies really brought combat sport to a new level, until Helio had to fight a fat Japanese guy named "joey armlock", or Royce had to fight a fat Japanese guy called hidehiko hiptoss, or any of the other ones had to fight a drunk Japanese guy who knew kazushi anklepick
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Feb 1, 2017 17:36
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Like the Gracie tradition of beating up rubes for 30 dollar bets came from carnivals, the Gracie tradition of arranging fights against people who didn't know what they were doing and putting it on ppv had a proud tradition in boxing by 93, etc.
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Feb 1, 2017 17:41
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ufc has deep and proud carny roots, osss
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Feb 1, 2017 17:48
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david carmichael posted:Gracies really brought combat sport to a new level, until Helio had to fight a fat Japanese guy named "joey armlock", or Royce had to fight a fat Japanese guy called hidehiko hiptoss, or any of the other ones had to fight a drunk Japanese guy who knew kazushi anklepick lol david carmichael posted:Like the Gracie tradition of beating up rubes for 30 dollar bets came from carnivals, the Gracie tradition of arranging fights against people who didn't know what they were doing and putting it on ppv had a proud tradition in boxing by 93, etc. lol
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Feb 1, 2017 21:51
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Whatever happened to Keith Hackney? In college when I was a casual fan I was in a relationship with his niece. When she mentioned her uncle I sure as gently caress didn't connect the "PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS ALOT" dots.
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Feb 1, 2017 22:00
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david carmichael posted:Gracies really brought combat sport to a new level, until Helio had to fight a fat Japanese guy named "joey armlock", or Royce had to fight a fat Japanese guy called hidehiko hiptoss, or any of the other ones had to fight a drunk Japanese guy who knew kazushi anklepick no i mean how they developed bjj into roughly what it is now and brought it to loads of ppl. i could live without seeing any of them actually fight
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Feb 2, 2017 17:37
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Captain Log posted:Whatever happened to Keith Hackney? In college when I was a casual fan I was in a relationship with his niece. When she mentioned her uncle I sure as gently caress didn't connect the "PUNCH YOU IN THE BALLS ALOT" dots. Hurm... wikipedia leads to this sherdog article: http://www.sherdog.com/news/articles/2/Keith-Hackney-Where-Is-He-Now-30163 Apparently, he's still running his heating and A/C company. Also a couple of gyms and an amateur fighting league. Seems like a cool guy.
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Feb 2, 2017 18:14
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Belgian Waffle posted:Hurm... wikipedia leads to this sherdog article: http://www.sherdog.com/news/articles/2/Keith-Hackney-Where-Is-He-Now-30163 That's pretty cool. At the time of my relationship I was only aware that she, "Had an uncle that did that cage fight stuff." Then when I watching the UFC back catalogue I nearly poo poo. I don't want any internet sleaze sleuthing so I'll leave it at that, but Hackney was definitely the uncle. I don't want to get my god damned dick punched off. I've got enough going on. I'm glad to hear he is doing well, to all newbies google "Hackney vs. Yarborough" (RIP fat man, you died a fat, happy death.)
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Feb 2, 2017 20:17
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The only time in history where punching someone in the balls repeatedly during a sporting event became more justified as time passed.
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Feb 2, 2017 20:18
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I rolled 82 I eagerly await what horrors will be on show for me.
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Feb 3, 2017 13:43
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