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gary oldmans diary posted:that is a cute baby Yes, congrats.
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Sep 1, 2018 03:17
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A Tad Ghostal posted:contrary to what all these steakheads think, the real cause is simple Lizard-people don't do that. Elves do that. Lizards wear human-skin and have high fire resistance, elves switch babies and get a bonus to charisma and agility. That's why the baby is cute and impossible to contain.
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Sep 1, 2018 03:38
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tino posted:First of all, the baby is fine. Here is what happened. On Wednesday my wife was cooking in the kitchen so she put our 8-month old infant in the crib. Usually he takes a morning nap at 11 and another one in the afternoon. She heard a soft bang sound and ran back to the bedroom, and saw the baby playing on the floor mat next to the crib. As far as she could tell, the baby climbed over the rail guard and land on the bag of dirty clothes, and rolled onto the floor mat. There was no burst on the baby and the landing sound was not loud. See diagram A g-g-g-g-ghost! Your son is a changling. Rivethead posted:Coat your baby liberally with PAM before slipping him into the crib. Problem solved. This also works on changlings
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Sep 1, 2018 03:48
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Ok so now I just want an Ocean’s movie but with your baby instead of the normal “lithe & wily Asian” character
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Sep 1, 2018 06:03
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Vaginal Vagrant posted:My theory is either you married a cunningly disguised ape or your wife cheated on you with a monkey. Ahh what?
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Sep 1, 2018 07:10
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Burt Sexual posted:Ahh what? The babe is a man/monkey hybrid, a humanzee, an unholy amalgam of beast and boy, a babyboon.
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Sep 1, 2018 07:20
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Lacey posted:He's using those green things (what are they??) to support his feet and pull himself up and over. Take them off. Saw the title, saw the pictures, came to post this. Look at the crib without the cushions: large straight rail that is hard for small hands to grasp. Up and down rails with no real purchase. With the cushions there is now a perfect climbing surface added. Soft and malleable for gripping and getting purchase with feet. It hangs a few inches lower. There's even nice bulbous knobs right at the top for the final heave-ho over the edge. Send the pic to the crib manufacturer and ask what they think.
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Sep 1, 2018 07:22
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It is entirely possible. There is a documentary on Amazon Prime about this kind of behavior. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0683230/
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Sep 1, 2018 07:22
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Fancy_Breakfast posted:Your baby looks like Elon Musk... elon musk looks like a baby
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Sep 1, 2018 07:58
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Harness with bungee strap. Baby climbs out of crib, dangles feet for dogs to lick.
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Sep 1, 2018 08:00
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Cps finds baby, mom reading gbs
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Sep 1, 2018 08:07
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I actually picked her up and threw her on the floor. I'm the closet monster.
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Sep 1, 2018 08:09
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Don't be lenient just because it's his first escape
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Sep 1, 2018 08:10
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Sid Vicious posted:My kid fell out of the crib around that age I just heard a thump and some crying he's fine though He just wanted to suffer a traumatic head injury at a young age like his dad did.
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Sep 2, 2018 15:00
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As at least one other poster suggested you need to remove the hanging green blankets. They are helping him climb out plus they are not safe, they are a suffocation hazard. There is a reason cribs don't have solid walls.
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Sep 2, 2018 15:48
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You should foster dependancy now so he'll never leave your house till his mid thirties
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Sep 2, 2018 17:15
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What an ugly baby
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Sep 2, 2018 17:31
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you gon die op. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nPwGHbNdmA
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Sep 2, 2018 17:33
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Start playing anime for the baby to watch
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Sep 2, 2018 17:35
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Vaginal Vagrant posted:The babe is a man/monkey hybrid, a humanzee, an unholy amalgam of beast and boy, a babyboon. I remember seeing a tv special about Oliver the Humanzee and it gave me the howling fantods
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Sep 3, 2018 00:24
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