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Big Beef City posted:I post better than you twice a day and walk your rear end around the block doing it. Lets not make claims we can't prove.
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Aug 9, 2022 05:39
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:10 |
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True it's mostly just once a day.
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Aug 9, 2022 05:43
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When you're driving in your Chevy and your pants are feeling heavy Diarrhea *squirt* *squart* Diarrhea
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Aug 9, 2022 13:19
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I accidentally sharted at work once and had to go commando the rest of the day. I was so mortified I kept a spare pair of briefs in my desk for a year.
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Aug 9, 2022 23:56
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https://youtu.be/_rRLIfH75s4
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Aug 10, 2022 05:18
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Just a friendly reminder that if you are having bowel issues, think about trying MetamucilTM. Do you evacuate immediately after consuming any meal, sometimes having to leave the table mid-course? MetamucilTM may be the solution you need. Getting frequent steamy farts that leave you checking your drawers? Try MetamucilTM! IBS is a wide-ranging spectrum of issues that is not particularly well understood, but what we do know is MetamucilTM is a safe and effective treatment. Only one natural ingredient, the crumbled dried husk of the Psyllium plant. Dreaming wistfully of those days of having healthy brown logs? You can relive them again - try MetamucilTM today, available at stores everywhere!
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Aug 10, 2022 05:46
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poopin ha haaa that's what i'm doin
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Aug 10, 2022 05:57
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This might rustle some jimmies, but I poo poo myself a few times on the keto diet while trying to lose some weight in 2018. I had no idea the keto people even call it "accident pants" or something infantile like that, because making GBS threads yourself is apparently a thing that's normal and accepted on that diet, along with brain fog and the "keto flu." Very normal sounding activities! I had read that dumb Obesity Code book promoting the hella debunked carbohydrate-insulin model (I didn't know it was pseudoscience at the time), and I followed the author's dumbass advice and plan to give myself some of the worst digestive issues of my entire life almost overnight. During my short time doing keto, I had about 9 weeks of the most untrustable farts--basically all sharts, and even sharting the bed a couple times--including one day being at the mall and spending like half an hour sitting on a public toilet just sharting oil/fat out of my rear end because of eggs or something. Who knew that eating that much oil and fat in a low-fiber diet meant the lipids and retained water just flow right through you? I remember having to spent 12 hours in a van one day and being in terror of the giant "if..." looming over me the whole ride. I was basically either constipated for days or emptying my life into the toilet bowl. I hated it. Luckily, all the actual pants making GBS threads was done at home, leading me to be hyper vigilant while outside and going to sit on a toilet at nearly every fart that wanted out. The final straw has having yet another day off work ruined by making GBS threads a few times in public toilets, getting skid marks, and then having to go home early and not doing what I had planned to do that day. I flipped to a healthy, anti-keto diet (extremely high carb from mostly whole plant foods, 60-100gms of fiber per day from legumes and veg, very low added fat/oil), and lost the 15lbs I wanted to lose by basic CICO and walking. The pants making GBS threads, constipation, and weird energy levels went away within like two days after ditching keto. I have been eating the same since then (2018) and still get 60-100gms of fiber per day. When I can't eat high fiber foods, my gut bacteria/second brain gets angry they aren't getting what they need. I went on a weekend trip a while ago and had to eat greasy garbage because all the better food options were closed. I got legit cranky and had a strong craving for legumes, and wasn't able to satisfy the cravings until I returned home and could throw 200gms of legumes into the pressure cooker. Once I got (back) into weight training, being high-carb was like cheat mode for consistency. I think it's ironic that the keto diet helped fix my unhealthy eating patterns and made me the healthiest and strongest I have ever been by simply teaching me to do the exact opposite of everything keto espouses. As a side note, the woman I was dating at the time was very well aware of the pants making GBS threads and sharting, and she ruthlessly made fun of me for it for years afterwards. PITY BONER fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Aug 10, 2022 |
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Aug 10, 2022 07:24
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Wait how's carbohydrate-insulin model pseudoscience
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Aug 10, 2022 07:30
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PITY BONER posted:This might rustle some jimmies, but I poo poo myself a few times on the keto diet while trying to lose some weight in 2018. I had no idea the keto people even call it "accident pants" or something infantile like that, because making GBS threads yourself is apparently a thing that's normal and accepted on that diet, along with brain fog and the "keto flu." Very normal sounding activities! I had read that dumb Obesity Code book promoting the hella debunked carbohydrate-insulin model (I didn't know it was pseudoscience at the time), and I followed the author's dumbass advice and plan to give myself some of the worst digestive issues of my entire life almost overnight. same
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Aug 10, 2022 07:33
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It was like first grade I think and I poo poo my pants. My teacher had me sit in the reading area until my parents picked me up. The reading area smelled like cinnamon the next morning.
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Aug 10, 2022 07:47
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Based on my farts, let me tell you about the next time I will poo poo my pants
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Aug 11, 2022 10:45
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Every couple of weeks I ask my friend to borrow his Dockers for a job interview. Each time I return them with a sigh and a somber look on my face and just say, "It happened again". I poo poo myself every time I wear those Dockers. It's getting really hard to come up with excuses on how it wasn't my fault and how it definitely won't happen again. He keeps letting me borrow them and every time I return them with anything from a little fart squirt to a full-size log in the trousers. One time I shat directly into one of the pockets and that was really hard to explain. Next time will be different, promise.
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Aug 11, 2022 13:05
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Jelly posted:Just a friendly reminder that if you are having bowel issues, think about trying MetamucilTM. I get constipated when I'm not at home and metamucil doesn't help
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Aug 11, 2022 13:22
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Last month: I have a horrible stomach and usually poo poo every morning at 6:30 and for some reason did not have to poo poo that morning. I made coffee and decided it was a good opportunity to walk my dog around our block before I have to sign into work. I started to walk from the house sipping on some fresh hot coffee from my thermos. A foolish mistake. About 80ft or so I felt like I was going poo poo my pants and decided to go back towards the house. Every step was pure horror as I felt like poo poo was leaking from my rear end. Fun fact: its because poo poo was leaking from my rear end. As I walk into my yard to rush towards the door my dog assumes his making GBS threads position and starts letting loose. Watching him is only making me have to poo poo way harder. I'm standing there, holding my rear end, and impatiently waiting for my dog to finish. My hands feel wet. When he's done I hobble towards the door with one hand on my rear end and another holding the leash. I enter the house and book it towards the bathroom. I hopped into my bath tub fully clothed and started the shower. When the water hit me I just completely lost it and poo poo everywhere in the tub. I undressed in the shower then proceeded to bag and toss my clothes in the trash. 
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Aug 11, 2022 21:36
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-e7JSFhFQI
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Aug 11, 2022 22:16
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I farted while sleeping and I realized it was too smelly, fell asleep again because too tired to care, woke up later to discover I had shat myself a little. 
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Aug 11, 2022 22:23
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Burt Gherkin posted:Every couple of weeks I ask my friend to borrow his Dockers for a job interview. Each time I return them with a sigh and a somber look on my face and just say, "It happened again". I poo poo myself every time I wear those Dockers. It's getting really hard to come up with excuses on how it wasn't my fault and how it definitely won't happen again. He keeps letting me borrow them and every time I return them with anything from a little fart squirt to a full-size log in the trousers. One time I shat directly into one of the pockets and that was really hard to explain. So do you typically poo poo your pants during the job interviews? If so, how do the interviewers react to the smell? And do you drip liquid poop onto their carpets? Also if you're for real  your friend should  or at minimum stop lending you pants.
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Aug 12, 2022 03:08
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Jelly posted:Just a friendly reminder that if you are having bowel issues, think about trying MetamucilTM. I don't see how a roughage-based product like the one you describe would help with diarrhea in the immediate term, it's no "first aid" for it, I'm thinking. My goto treatment for diarrhea is loperamide tablets (anti-diarrheal, various brands), taken according to directions. It just works. And there are fast acting (but more costly) variants available. You do have to watch it about 1-1.5 days after the first dose as a poo poo can come on suddenly, but thank God it's probably going to be a solid one. I always have a supply on hand (of loperamide tabs, not poo poo) and pack them in my hand luggage when travelling. Many pants have thereby been saved from dishonour.
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Aug 12, 2022 03:18
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BigBadSteve posted:I don't see how a roughage-based product like the one you describe would help with diarrhea in the immediate term, it's no "first aid" for it, I'm thinking. My goto treatment for diarrhea is loperamide tablets (anti-diarrheal, various brands), taken according to directions. It just works. And there are fast acting (but more costly) variants available. You do have to watch it about 1-1.5 days after the first dose as a poo poo can come on suddenly, but thank God it's probably going to be a solid one. I always have a supply on hand (of loperamide tabs, not poo poo) and pack them in my hand luggage when travelling. Many pants have thereby been saved from dishonour. They should sell vape pens with opium in them to treat diarrhea.
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Aug 12, 2022 03:28
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BigBadSteve posted:So do you typically poo poo your pants during the job interviews? If so, how do the interviewers react to the smell? And do you drip liquid poop onto their carpets? Let's just say job interviews aren't exactly fair since they always seem to give the job to the person who doesn't poo poo themselves. I could have gotten away with it some of the times but I just stop talking mid-sentence and stare off into space for about 12 seconds and just say oops before waddling out.
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Aug 12, 2022 03:35
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I use a self-shitter as a wingman to secure jobs. I have one interview just after me, resulting in the whole process being stopped and them hiring the one they remember having strongest contrast to the self-shitter. Never fails.
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Aug 12, 2022 03:51
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Just once while very, very drunk. That was enough for me. I don't drink any more.
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Aug 12, 2022 08:03
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHZHyRmv75M
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Aug 12, 2022 08:07
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n27V0gTRXIo
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Aug 12, 2022 08:08
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jEM8-Gbknk
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Aug 12, 2022 08:09
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Bargearse posted:Just once while very, very drunk. That doesn't mean you can't poo poo your pants anyway. Which you should.
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Aug 12, 2022 08:09
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Big Beef City posted:That doesn't mean you can't poo poo your pants anyway. How did I NOT think of that sooner
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Aug 12, 2022 09:22
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:10 |
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The poop song trifecta (trifecesa)
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Aug 12, 2022 10:43
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