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Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values
I try not to get annoyed by Super Cena and the main event style he has to work. I know he simply just doesn't look vulnerable. The NXT beatdowns were the closest he's ever come to not looking super strong, but Cena's character never gets frustrated at things like that. He never doubts himself, he just keeps on being positive and trucking on.

I don't expect that to ever really change, but I would like to see one match someday with a good opponent where the Cena character doubts himself, if even for a second. Something like the Ultimate Warrior/Macho Man retirement stipulation match, where the Warrior became so frustrated and amazed at his inability to keep Macho down that he got exasperated and contemplated throwing in the towel, if only for a microsecond.

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WHICH WAY MADNESS
Apr 28, 2009

You recall this living nightmare, you take comfort in its familiar pain. You smell fermentation and can hear a dull, unending beeping. Someone shouts in a language you do not know.
You love your family. YOU. LOVE. THEM.
Welcome to Red Lobster. Come see what's fresh. Today.


Anyone call this/know someone who called this? (SummerSlam '91)

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

Writer Cath posted:

Had the Barrett/Sheamus match not been hosed with, would that have represented the first time a championship match would have been from two people outside of North America?
I think the closest we got was Bret Hart vs Yokozuna, featuring one person not from North America and one person not from the US.

Rusty Shackelford
Feb 7, 2005

Endorph posted:

I think the closest we got was Bret Hart vs Yokozuna, featuring one person not from North America and one person not from the US.

Yokozuna was from California.

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

Rusty Shackelford posted:

Yokozuna was from California.
Welp.

Rusty Shackelford
Feb 7, 2005
I think the answer to the my question and Cath's variation on my question will come from Bruno Sammartino's title reigns. Bruno is from Italy and from May 1963 to April 1977, the title was held by an Italian, a Canadian (billed as a Russian), a Puerto Rican, a Canadian and then the Italian again. Bruno had to have a match that was against a non-North American at some point in his 4000 days as champion.

Zack_Gochuck
Jan 4, 2007

Stupid Wrestling People
I'm pretty sure Giant Baba challenged Bruno for the WWWF title at some point. I checked out Baba's wikipedia entry and it says that this happened in 1963.

Captain Magic
Apr 4, 2005

Yes, we have feathers--but the muscles of men.
My problem with Cena is and always has been his character. He seems to be a company guy, and does what he's told, and does the best he can within those parameters. Those parameters are, like any wrestler, his character and what the writing makes it out to be--and for him it's a guy who can take a licking and keep on ticking. That's it. That's his entire character. If he ceases to keep on ticking, the beating has to be astronomical.

What helps with this is that he's as loving gigantic and ripped as he is, but still, it's not the kind of character I like to see. I'd like to see him have one solid weakness, like Samoa Joe in his first ROH title run was vulnerable to flash pins, or Stone Cold wasn't the best technical wrestler in the world (I'm aware that before his neck injury he was rather adept at technical wrestling, I'm just searching for an easy example). Cena's character is basically just a SvR CAW with the stats all turned up to 9. His Endurance stat was maybe around a 7 until the Elimination Chamber in 2006, then he won and he got a special achievement of "Limitless Endurance." For a while Submissions were only up to like 3, then he got the STFU in 2006 and it went up to 9.5.

Anyway my point is that the problem, basically, is with the writing, not with the dude. Doing what he's been told to do has allotted him fourteen cars and a giant house, he's not going to stop all of a sudden.

Wojtek
Oct 17, 2008
Why do people post "I don't even enjoy or watch WWE and I hate John Cena?"

Why comment on it then?

Same poo poo happens in TNA threads, except they are mostly right.

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

Wojtek posted:

Why do people post "I don't even enjoy or watch WWE and I hate John Cena?"

Why comment on it then?

Same poo poo happens in TNA threads, except they are mostly right.


The TNA threads are like Norbit.

If literally everyone you know tells you it's awful, do you really have to sit through the entire thing to be confident in your belief that it sucks?

ChampRamp
Mar 29, 2010

:siren: SAVE_US.CHR :siren:
What was WH2K like when the Benoit debacle happened?

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

ChampRamp posted:

What was WH2K like when the Benoit debacle happened?

I think sad and confused when it first came out and then horrified as the details came out.

Truther Vandross
Jun 17, 2008

ChampRamp posted:

What was WH2K like when the Benoit debacle happened?

Like this

I was trying to go to sleep a few minutes ago and for some reason the enormity of these events finally hit me and I couldn't stop crying. I have no real life friends who give a poo poo about professional wrestling, so this is basically the only place I have to express these feelings, but I really feel the need to express them.

I would like this thread to be about our personal feelings about the death of Chris Benoit, and how it has personally affected us. Just TV-IVing about the details as they come in, or wondering about the WWE's future, and all of that bullshit has no place here. I need to write about my feelings about Chris Benoit. Obviously these posts will be mocked elsewhere on the forums, but gently caress em. If you feel the need to say anything, say it.

-----

Chris Benoit is a murderer. He killed his wife and child. We will probably never know exactly what he was thinking. Obviously I did not know Chris Benoit. I never saw him in person and never spoke to him. But he represented something very special to me. In such a cut-throat, dirty, dark, often disgusting, business he was one of the good ones. When people talked poo poo about wrestling and the bastards involved in it, you could always muffin out Chris Benoit as the exception to the rule. He was the one you could muffin to as a true professional who honored the sport he loved, who was passionate about it, who proved that you could dedicate your life to professional wrestling without being insane or scum or a monster. He was the ace in the hole. He was the one who wasn't in it for the pussy or because he was a failed jock in another sport or because he wanted to get rich quick or because he wanted to be a movie star or because he saw wrestling as a means to an end. He was in it for professional wrestling. He was dedicated to being the best professional wrestler he could be, and it showed in the ring.

I wanted to be a professional wrestler since I was a little kid, and one of the very worst moments of my life was a cold night in San Antonio when I was on the phone to my girlfriend a thousand miles away and finally admitted to myself and to her that coming to Texas to be a wrestler had been a mistake. Coming to grips that I was simply not athletically or charismatically talented enough to be a professional wrestler was one of the worst moments of my life. The business glorifies the boyhood dreams that come true. My boyhood dream wasn't going to come true, and it was an upsetting, soul-crushing revelation that upsets and discourages me to this day.

Since then I lived vicariously through Chris Benoit in a lot of ways. He wasn't a man who was destined to be a WWE champion. He couldn't talk. He wasn't charismatic in the usual way. He was quiet. He was short. The only thing he had going for him was his work ethic. He wasn't a third generation wrestler. He wasn't physically gifted. He wasn't someone who had words come easy to him. But through sheer effort he was able to become one of the greatest professional wrestlers in history. By 40 years-old.

Chris Benoit was only forty, and he was already a legend on the verge of myth. That's how talented he was, and how respected.

I cannot reconcile in my mind that the man who unnecessarily gave back so much to the sport could end his life the way he did. I can't understand how a man could spend weeks and months trying to give back to younger guys like MVP, putting forth the care and effort to help them find their voice in the ring, and that that same man could strangle his wife and child only weeks later. It doesn't make sense. It shouldn't have happened this way. Not for him, not for Nancy, and not for their child.

Chris Benoit owed me nothing. But I still feel the loss. I selfishly lived through many of his accomplishments and now feel lost. I can only speak for myself, but I feel that for a lot of us Mondays and Fridays are rocks of stability in a storm of stress and uncertainty. Every week the show goes on. Every week the show is from somewhere new, somewhere in the world, but every week it comes into our homes.


And that will continue. But Chris Benoit is dead. And he died a murderer. And whether it be insanity, drugs, or just the actions of a clear-eyed monster, what is done is done. And one of the pillars for the guys backstage and one of the pillars for fans is gone. And everything that pillar held up is tainted and dripping with blood.

Chris Benoit was a murderer. And I don't know how to accept that.


(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Matlock
Sep 12, 2004

Childs Play Charity 2011 Total: $1755
Hey, I was hoping I'd never see ParadolEx.doc ever again!

But seriously, it was just about the same as it today. Very little has changed, other than the names.

Matlock fucked around with this message at 20:51 on Aug 24, 2010

Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006
Pex was the best bad poster in history. Part of me misses him. His transexual rant in LF was his defining moment.

El Axo Grande
Apr 2, 2005

by T. Finn

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

Pex was the best bad poster in history. Part of me misses him. His transexual rant in LF was his defining moment.

Dont forget his rant against feminism using a nuclear war as an example of its fallibility

EDIT: Seriously thought Pex.txt is awesome. He tried to claim just before his perma that it was a trolling attempt and we all fell for it which is even funnier for some reason.

ChampRamp
Mar 29, 2010

:siren: SAVE_US.CHR :siren:
I didn't want to get poo poo on the Observer board for asking, but who the hell is fancy nancy? He's supposedly someone in the business who's identity was figured out.

MassRafTer
May 26, 2001

BAEST MODE!!!

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

Pex was the best bad poster in history. Part of me misses him. His transexual rant in LF was his defining moment.

Oh how I wish I had read that.

Ziggy Tzardust
Apr 7, 2006

MassRayPer posted:

Oh how I wish I had read that.

Pex posted:

Oh god, shut the gently caress up, you self-involved rear end in a top hat. This is the poo poo I'm talking about. This is when I get to the point where I just start wondering, "Do you have a loving job? Don't you have to go to the supermarket? Don't you have to pay some bills?" HOW THE gently caress DO YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME CRAWLING UP YOUR OWN NAVAL-GAZING rear end in a top hat DEFINING JUST EXACTLY HOW YOU EMBRACE YOUR "WOMEN-NESS"!?

You are never going to be validated as a woman because you, wait for it, AREN'T A loving WOMAN. A "normal" man is never going to validate you as a woman because the sort of men who will flatter and admire a woman will only give you that sorta of validation or rush if you trick them, which you already admitted. That only leaves you with the fetishists, which you are apparently too good for.

Look, your life doesn't get to be perfect. No one's life is exactly how they want it. I wanted to be the youngest ever WWF Intercontinental champion when I was a kid, now look at me. You wanted to be a girl with real girl parts in a big pink poofy dress and live in a castle where the strong manly man would protect you. Well, grow the gently caress up. Is every relationship with a fetishist gonna work out? Of course not. Every relationship of any time doesn't always work out. But it is your best bet. And yes, it might feel weird that only fetishists are interested in you, but you are a sexual freak. That's not an insult. Nothing wrong with being a sexual freak, but that is what you are. Fetishism might seem creepy when you are the object of it, but that's just the way it is. If you are 400 pounds, you better embrace the fat fetishists because that is gonna be your best bet. If your a cripple who likes men to suck on their arm stomp, or you like to get punched in the face during loving, you're gonna have to accept the fetishists as your main intimate partners.

While you are so goddamn self-involved with how you feel and what you want and how nice validation from a man in a bar is, have you considered the other side of that equation? No, of course you haven't.

Let me give it to you. That "volunteer firefighter" really is a volunteer firefighter. In fact he used to be a full-time firefighter. At the time he and his fiancee of six years were planning their marriage. Then one night after a party he finds her loving 2 of his fellow firefighters. He confronts her afterwards and she drunkenly says many very hurtful things about him that invalidate him as a man, a provider, and a lover. They break up and not being able to go in every week and see the men who hosed his fiancee, he quits working as a firefighter and gets a typical desk job, but he becomes a volunteer firefighter so he can still help fight forest fires. You see, he is a huge environmentalist, apparently another thing that his fiancee felt didn't make him a Real Man. And now, after six years he is single, and he's into his early 30s and feels like he has lost an entire chunk of his life, having wasted it on that loving oval office of a fiancee. Men a decade younger than him already have a wife and children. At the gym he sees younger guys attracting all the looks from the girls on the treadmills and suddenly he feels like he is standing still. He hits the bar scene, completely out of practice, and embarrasses himself, appears old or out of touch, girls laugh at him after he buys them drinks and they wander off, but he really is a sweet guy who was heartbroken and doesn't know how to start again. He feels too old to go to the night clubs, so he sticks in the lesser popular bars, usually during the week. Finally he meets a girl at one of these bars who is attractive and laughs at his jokes, and stays after he buys her a drink, and she seems to really like him. So HE feels validated and they talk and drink until closing time and then she wants to come home with him. So this volunteer firefighter feels like a man again, feels a little ego boost and self-worth that can only come from an admiring woman, and they end up back at his place and talk and drink some more and begin to make out, and he is finally feeling that maybe he can recover from losing six years of his life, maybe he still has something to offer, and while they kiss, tongues in each other's mouths, his hand goes up her leg and as he pulls her panties to the side, a cock flops into his fingers. And suddenly he realizes the truth: he's been making out with a loving tranny. And all those things fears, insecurities, and his broken heart come swimming to the surface. He's humiliated, disgusted, probably pretty sexually confused, and now the tranny is on his couch talking about "her" personal validation and how she didn't mean to let it go this far, but it felt nice, and she was so excited that a man treated her like a woman and not like a funny gay man, and this volunteer firefighter is sitting there shell-shocked, thinking about seeing 2 of his buddies nailing his beloved fiancee from both ends, remembering all the awful things his finacee said to him when she was drunk, remembering how depressed he was that the girls in the gym don't look at him anymore, and how excited and happy he was that this girl in a bar seemed charmed by him and that it validated him, and now 2 hours later she's a weeping tranny on his couch talking about her needs.

Yeah, someone might end up getting loving punched in that situation, and you'd deserve every bruise. Think about someone else for a little bit. You might WANT and NEED certain things, but guess what? So does everyone else, and they might be closer to the edge than you are.

Grow the gently caress up.

El Duke Silver
Aug 15, 2008

rarely goes out and should never be approached

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

PEx rant

Thank you for this. Thank you so much.

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

Pex Rant

Now I am thoroughly sad.

On the topic of Wrestlehut during the Benoit thing, I remember being a lurker without an account, I would regularly follow the game day threads, sometimes to make the show interesting, or even instead of watching it. From the Something Awful main page, I saw the discussion tabbed, thought to myself "Hey, Chris Benoit! Oh."
I noticed a sense of shock and disbelief, the thought "Does anyone know where Kevin Sulliven was supposed to be?" passed briefly. I went to bed.
Then I checked the next day aaaaaaaaand out come the death jokes.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

:words:

HOLY. poo poo.

To avoid getting too off-topic, IF Wade Barrett was to win the title at NoC, would that make him the fastest ever winner of the top belt?

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

Ziggy Tsardust posted:

PEX Rant
I don't even.... What the gently caress? What prompted this?

Edwardian
May 4, 2010

"Can we have a bit of decorum on this forum?"

SamuraiFoochs posted:

HOLY. poo poo.

To avoid getting too off-topic, IF Wade Barrett was to win the title at NoC, would that make him the fastest ever winner of the top belt?

How fast was the rocket strapped to Sheamus' pasty white rear end?

RacistGuidingLight
Apr 5, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

Endorph posted:

I don't even.... What the gently caress? What prompted this?

E/N features a series of transsexual threads with a very warm and inviting support section for all goons of a non-cisgendered persuasion. It is one of the few saving graces of E/N. Naturally, it is periodically attacked by goons who feel like spending some money.

EDIT: Ziggy mentioned this actually happened in LF. Thus, requires no explanation.

RacistGuidingLight fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Aug 25, 2010

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

I would love to see a long build feud with Sheamus and Barrett - they just seem to be perfect to play off each other in promos and in the ring. Two big dudes that can actually move and both can talk.

Unfortunately Cena and Orton aren't involved so I doubt it would ever be given time to build to something great.

bobkatt013
Oct 8, 2006

You’re telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Fucken_Gieux posted:

Now I am thoroughly sad.

On the topic of Wrestlehut during the Benoit thing, I remember being a lurker without an account, I would regularly follow the game day threads, sometimes to make the show interesting, or even instead of watching it. From the Something Awful main page, I saw the discussion tabbed, thought to myself "Hey, Chris Benoit! Oh."
I noticed a sense of shock and disbelief, the thought "Does anyone know where Kevin Sulliven was supposed to be?" passed briefly. I went to bed.
Then I checked the next day aaaaaaaaand out come the death jokes.

I remembered that it was a lot like the Raw. It was all how sad everyone was that he died then once more facts came out it changed completely. It was just what the gently caress situation.

Veg
Oct 13, 2008

:smug::smug::xd:

Fucken_Gieux posted:

You can win every argument like that, but it doesn't make you right. :colbert:

I had more than enough RAM to laugh at this post.

What's everyone thinking will happen for SD! on SyFy?

Drowning Rabbit
Oct 28, 2003

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Is there a thread for the new Smackdown Vs. Raw 2011 game?

I tend to buy one of the yearly games every few years, last one being 2008 which I was thoroughly disappointed with.

I was given 2010 this weekend and thought it was MUCH better, especially the Road to Wrestlemania stories instead of just the career matches. Curious if there is discussion about news on the latest though.

Coaaab
Aug 6, 2006

Wish I was there...

Mr. Carlisle posted:

I would love to see a long build feud with Sheamus and Barrett - they just seem to be perfect to play off each other in promos and in the ring. Two big dudes that can actually move and both can talk.
On a similar note, I'd love to see a three-way feud between Sheamus, Barrett and Jack Swagger in a few years. They'd probably be more proficient workers by then, and a PPV match with these three big athletic guys would likely not suck.

FishBulb
Mar 29, 2003

Marge, I'd like to be alone with the sandwich for a moment.

Are you going to eat it?

...yes...

KGBAgent185 posted:

Is there a thread for the new Smackdown Vs. Raw 2011 game?

I tend to buy one of the yearly games every few years, last one being 2008 which I was thoroughly disappointed with.

I was given 2010 this weekend and thought it was MUCH better, especially the Road to Wrestlemania stories instead of just the career matches. Curious if there is discussion about news on the latest though.

There is a thread, its in here somewhere. Ignore all the posts that aren't about Sv2011.

(ignore 99% of the posts)

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

SamuraiFoochs posted:

HOLY. poo poo.

To avoid getting too off-topic, IF Wade Barrett was to win the title at NoC, would that make him the fastest ever winner of the top belt?

Hulk Hogan won it three weeks after re-debuting in the WWF against the Iron Sheik. I guess people forget that.

Rusty Shackelford
Feb 7, 2005

Lone Rogue posted:

Hulk Hogan won it three weeks after re-debuting in the WWF against the Iron Sheik. I guess people forget that.

But he had been in the WWF for about a year three years before that.

LividLiquid
Apr 13, 2002

Lone Rogue posted:

Hulk Hogan won it three weeks after re-debuting in the WWF against the Iron Sheik. I guess people forget that.
I'm pretty sure Brock and Angle would still have him beat, wouldn't they?

Paper Jam Dipper
Jul 14, 2007

by XyloJW

LividLiquid posted:

I'm pretty sure Brock and Angle would still have him beat, wouldn't they?

Three weeks? Or one year and three weeks (I don't agree with counting his earlier run but that's fine)?

If not, Hulk Hogan debuted in WCW and beat Ric Flair for the World Title in his first match.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Lone Rogue posted:

Three weeks? Or one year and three weeks (I don't agree with counting his earlier run but that's fine)?

I'm strictly talking WWE and if he was wrestling as Hulk Hogan both times and they acknowledged any kind of continuity, it should count. :colbert:

Also using Hulk in WCW as a counter-example is dumb because he was an international megastar.

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Kerck Pnameless posted:

On a similar note, I'd love to see a three-way feud between Sheamus, Barrett and Jack Swagger in a few years. They'd probably be more proficient workers by then, and a PPV match with these three big athletic guys would likely not suck.

Though WWE hasn't really gotten away from their hardon for huge guys dominating the main event at least they are adding big guys that can work better than most big guys to come before them.

If you look at the heights of some of them:

Swagger 6 foot 6
Sheamus 6 foot 6
Barrett 6 foot 5
Goldust 6 foot 6
Del Rio 6 foot 6
McIntyre 6 foot 5

Unless they are lying and just really like the 6 foot 5 and 6 foot 6 height they've got a decent group of fairly agile big guys.

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

Mr. Carlisle posted:

Swagger 6 foot 6
Sheamus 6 foot 6
Barrett 6 foot 5
Goldust 6 foot 6
Del Rio 6 foot 6
McIntyre 6 foot 5
What?

Orange Carlisle
Jul 14, 2007

Just going by Wikipedia - the online encyclopedia that anyone can edit!

Just checked it against his WWE.com bio

quote:

Height: 6 foot 6

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Endorph
Jul 22, 2009

No, I meant. Sheamus, Barrett, ETC, are all big new guys. Goldust isn't new.

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