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Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug
Every time I drive i think of all the entertaining stuff I could be doing instead of staying between two lines for hours at a time.

Every time I fly I have some drinks and mess around on some kind of portable computer, sometimes with internet access.

If I could fly the three hour drive to my parents' (MIA-MLB) without connecting in ATL I would.

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niggerstink420
Aug 7, 2009

by T. Fine
Driving is only cheaper if your time is worthless.

revmoo
May 25, 2006

#basta

niggerstink420 posted:

Driving is only cheaper if your time is worthless.

Well it's certainly not worth $500 an hour or whatever a flight costs.

Vitamin J
Aug 16, 2006

God, just tell me to shut up already. I have a clear anti-domestic bias and a lack of facts.

darknrgy posted:

Here's something a common person can actually do: First person view rc planes. With the right skills someone could build a pretty high tech reconnaissance plane with range in the miles. Things are going to get interesting real fast when people start doing suspicious things with them. Meanwhile here's a go-pro on a flying wing (I think). Usually these videos are pretty disorienting and piloted by daschunds with alzheimers, but I think this guy practiced first.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgUoR_7gzzM&hd=1

I'm a bit confused how this worked because you need line of sight for the radios to work.
Here's a thread for RC/FPV/AP:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3386779

If you are a fan of FPV flying and UAVs in general then please take a few minutes to sign this petition:

http://www.change.org/petitions/rear end...m_term=own_wall

Currently big defense contractors like Raytheon and Northrop Grumman as well as aerial photography companies are lobbying hard to keep the UAV/AP market to themselves. This makes perfect sense when you realize the amount of money that goes into a simple traffic helicopter, let alone a photoshoot for a documentary, as well as the monopoly of UAV use by the military and police.

Here's a better description of the problem:

quote:

The RCAPA-(radio controlled aerial photography association) meets all of the requirements to hold a seat on the UAS ARC. The ARC is an aviation rulemaking committee which is supposed to be open to public discussion, in this case pertaining to the use of UAS/r/c aircraft for commercial aerial photography, among other uses. The RCAPA would be the only voice for the small business stakeholders on the UAS ARC if Ms. Gilligan would give them a seat but so far she has not. This is disenfranchisement.

Not only are they refusing to hear small business in the making of the rules, they have BANNED the use of ANY size r/c aircraft for commercial use until their rules and regs heve been announced sometime in 2013-2015, effectively criminalizing the operations of many already operating businesses. It is legal to fly them safely for fun, but as soon as anyone makes a buck doing it they are suddenly committing a crime.

With only large corporate interests holding seats on this ARC the interests of the small business stakeholders will not be heard and any rules and regulations created will end up being unfair to anyone who already has an R/C aerial photography/videpgraphy business or who has an interest in starting a small business doing aerial photography with any type of r/c aircraft, large or small. To fly a small quadricopter like the one seen here one would need a REAL piots license with a HELICOPTER ENDORSEMENT, even to hover in front of a house and take a few pictures for homeowners or Realtors.

So please, please sign the petition so in the future people can do this without fearing government punishment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Nw2f48ScU


Nebakenezzer posted:

I was thinking about this while writing up the airship thing. Do you suppose flying in the USA could get so miserable that people would just stop flying and get there some other way?
High speed trains. Smooth, comfy, quiet.

Slo-Tek
Jun 8, 2001

WINDOWS 98 BEAT HIS FRIEND WITH A SHOVEL

revmoo posted:

Well it's certainly not worth $500 an hour or whatever a flight costs.

a flight costs about 50$ an hour, but you can use those hours for reading/dranking/watching Aliens on the IFE. Driving costs about 20$ an hour in gas and recurring costs and soda, plus whatever your reading/drinking/watching Aliens on IFE time is worth (and it takes 2-3x as many hours).

For one or two people, flying is a slam dunk. It's just when you've got a bunch of kids that the per-head starts making the back seat sound good.

Slo-Tek fucked around with this message at 22:04 on Feb 16, 2012

Ola
Jul 19, 2004

I love the sensation of travel when going by motorcycle. But I can't claim it to be faster, more convenient or more practical. Certainly not transatlantic.

My time is pretty much worthless to others, but important to me. 8 hours of free time smelling cow pats and pine trees on a bike across Norway beats the hell out of 3 hours of imprisonment in the manflesh relocation apparatus.

That said, I wouldn't bitch so much about flying cross country in one of these.



http://www.dynamicaero.org/description.htm (warning, video autostart with d'n'b)

In other news, the Dragon Lady might see 100 years of service.

quote:

Thursday February 16, 2012

The U-2 Story: The Fiscal 2013 budget decision to retain the U-2 for longer and retire the Global Hawk Block 30 variant was pretty much a no-brainer, according to Lt. Gen. Larry James, the Air Staff's intelligence-surveillance-reconnaissance chief. USAF thinks the U-2 has plenty of airframe life left in it, potentially carrying it "another 40 years," he said Wednesday during an Aviation Week conference in Arlington, Va. Its sensors are superior to those of the Block 30, and, recently, "the Joint Staff changed the high-altitude requirement set," he told reporters after his speech. The nature of this change is classified, but means that the U-2 "is now able to meet that requirement set," and it negates any advantages to retaining the Block 30, which had less capability and higher operating cost, said James. The U-2 "is better at" electro-optical and infrared surveillance, he said, and "the capacity off the bird is better," meaning it can store and transmit comparatively larger volumes of data. The Air Force will retain the U-2's optical bar camera, noted James. The service will operate the Block 30s through the end of the fiscal year, but it hasn't decided yet what will happen to the infrastructure at Sigonella, Italy, or on Guam meant to support them, he said. It's possible the Block 30s could be made available for foreign military sales, he acknowledged, but that, too, is "still to be worked."

-John A. Tirpak

http://www.airforce-magazine.com/Pages/HomePage.aspx

From the Wright Brothers' first flight until the U-2's: 52 years.
From the U-2's first flight until today: 57 years.

Throatwarbler
Nov 17, 2008

by vyelkin
I think stuff is cheap enough nowadays that you can probably mount a GPS unit on a RC plane or some such small UAV and have it fly a pre-plotted course? How long before I can buy my own cruise missile?

Throatwarbler fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Feb 16, 2012

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Slo-Tek posted:

a flight costs about 50$ an hour, but you can use those hours for reading/dranking/watching Aliens on the IFE. Driving costs about 20$ an hour in gas and recurring costs and soda, plus whatever your reading/drinking/watching Aliens on IFE time is worth (and it takes 2-3x as many hours).


$20 an hour? Maybe in a truck. My 10 year old Focus will burn about $110 in gas over two days of driving, plus a $70 hotel room. Plus the return trip, and I'm still under $400. And I have my car which saves hundreds on a rental.

Searching roundtrip airline tickets for 1 month from today with 2 weeks at the destination, yields $435 nonstop, $462-820 for 1-stop. The 1-stop plan usually takes 9-12 hours.

So, I could spend about $70 and a day and a half (or about 100 and save one day) for each leg of the trip, but have to rent a car when I arrive plus deal with the airport loving up my tickets, freaking out about the chapstick I'm carrying, and walking around the airport looking for a place to set my stuff down so I can put my shoes back on...or I can drive.

Advent Horizon
Jan 17, 2003

I’m back, and for that I am sorry


If I'm going on a 2 week trip, I want to be as far away from family as possible. That means flying.

In many cases I *could* do the 2 day trek to visit my parents, but the flight is a little over an hour and much more enjoyable even with security. I can even work a full day first so I don't need to blow the leave.

drgitlin
Jul 25, 2003
luv 2 get custom titles from a forum that goes into revolt when its told to stop using a bad word.

revmoo posted:

Well it's certainly not worth $500 an hour or whatever a flight costs.

What is this, 1950?

Aargh
Sep 8, 2004

Godholio posted:

$20 an hour? Maybe in a truck. My 10 year old Focus will burn about $110 in gas over two days of driving, plus a $70 hotel room. Plus the return trip, and I'm still under $400. And I have my car which saves hundreds on a rental.

Searching roundtrip airline tickets for 1 month from today with 2 weeks at the destination, yields $435 nonstop, $462-820 for 1-stop. The 1-stop plan usually takes 9-12 hours.

So, I could spend about $70 and a day and a half (or about 100 and save one day) for each leg of the trip, but have to rent a car when I arrive plus deal with the airport loving up my tickets, freaking out about the chapstick I'm carrying, and walking around the airport looking for a place to set my stuff down so I can put my shoes back on...or I can drive.

I just did some calculations, and my bike costs about $30 an hour to run (including insurance, registration, fuel, tyres, and servicing). In Australia though flights are closer to $100 an hour but it's still a no brainer.

Tremblay
Oct 8, 2002
More dog whistles than a Petco

Cygni posted:

I can't wait to see air travel in California in 50 years, if the train doesn't get built and these population/travel projections hold true.

LAX, SFO, Oakland, San Jose, Ontario, Burbank, John Wayne, SDI, Montgomery, Gillespie... all locked for expansion barring a massive amount of island building or imminent domaining. Only airport in a major metro with any chance of expansion is Sac because they smartly built it out in the middle of nowhere.

Yet they are projecting TWICE as many people flying in the state? gently caress sake...

The industry will have a goddamn heart attack when LAX goes to slot auction.

Add SAN to that list. They keep voting down moving it out east. It's already a cluster.

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

revmoo posted:

Well it's certainly not worth $500 an hour or whatever a flight costs.

First class from MIA to ATL (600 crow miles, a twelve hour drive, two hour flight) booked a month in advance is $600 round trip, or $150 per US domestic first flight hour, or $25 per drive hour.

It's probably that cheap because MIA and ATL are both hubs (AA and DL, respectively), so there's lots of capacity (seventeen daily flights for something like 2500 seats total, and that's not counting FLL, which is 30 miles away from MIA and has approximately 30 daily flights) and competition.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

In a city I prefer to ride my bike rather than wait for a bus when practical. The bike might not gain much in time, but I can choose when I leave as opposed to somebody else's schedule. I'm thinking driving vs. flying is kinda similar: assuming similar transit times, you feel empowered driving and disimpowered killing time at a airport someplace.

Hm. Thinking about my first question, I think that if people don't just refuse to fly because it's now just too much hassle, then domestic airlines have no floor in how horrible they can be. They just have to stay 'with the pack' in how bad they are, and not jump out in terms of shittiness.

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

Nebakenezzer posted:

Hm. Thinking about my first question, I think that if people don't just refuse to fly because it's now just too much hassle, then domestic airlines have no floor in how horrible they can be. They just have to stay 'with the pack' in how bad they are, and not jump out in terms of shittiness.

I wouldn't be nearly as thrilled about flying if I couldn't spend money on improving my personal experience; the first-class lounges, the upgrades, and the faster and less stringent security lines ( http://www.tsa.gov/what_we_do/escreening.shtm ) all add to that. Some of this stuff is a fixed annual cost ($450/year amex platinum for the lounges and the global entry which fed into pre-check) so it gets cheaper the more I use it, and the upgrades happen more often the more I fly.

It turns out that for most people there is a floor: most people I know who've flown with Spirit won't again, and many people I know who've flown Southwest won't fly a legacy unless they're going somewhere Southwest, JetBlue, and Virgin America/Atlantic don't fly.

Blistex
Oct 30, 2003

Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler
Since this mini-derail about the price of flying came up, I had a question. I'm probably going to be booking a one-way ticket from Beijing to Toronto in the next month or two. Anyone know any tricks or tips to get a cheaper price? I've looked into the usual suspects (Air Canada, Travelocity, Expedia, Flightnetwork) and they all usually come in around +/- $20 of each other.

The biggest problem is that I don't know the exact date yet, and when I do, I'll probably only have about 3-5 weeks notice, which means the tickets have gone from $900-1100 to $1200-1500.

Any ideas?

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

Blistex posted:

Since this mini-derail about the price of flying came up, I had a question. I'm probably going to be booking a one-way ticket from Beijing to Toronto in the next month or two. Anyone know any tricks or tips to get a cheaper price? I've looked into the usual suspects (Air Canada, Travelocity, Expedia, Flightnetwork) and they all usually come in around +/- $20 of each other.

The biggest problem is that I don't know the exact date yet, and when I do, I'll probably only have about 3-5 weeks notice, which means the tickets have gone from $900-1100 to $1200-1500.

Any ideas?

Look in to doing some janky ticket stuff: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_booking_ploys

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

Ola posted:

In other news, the Dragon Lady might see 100 years of service.


http://www.airforce-magazine.com/Pages/HomePage.aspx

From the Wright Brothers' first flight until the U-2's: 52 years.
From the U-2's first flight until today: 57 years.
Similarly, I'm half surprised they didn't add another fifteen years or so to the Stratofortress's expected life, just to make it an even century (current plans are to keep the B-52H into the 2040s. At that time, the newest airframes will be 80 years old -- the last one built turns 50 this year). Of course, given that it's stayed around despite three overbudget under-expectations replacements, and given the difficulty of getting any new military plane these days, it's not all that unlikely that the BUFF will see a century of service.

Myspace angle


Showing off to the Navy


"Hey guys, what's going on up front?"


With another member of the old-rear end dumptruck 50 years of service club


Edit: I'm sure several children (and possibly grandchildren, by now) of B-52 crewmen have gone on to fly the BUFF themselves ("It's not your father's Air Force, but it may be your father's airplane") but has anybody been issued the same airframe their dad had?

Chillbro Baggins fucked around with this message at 02:55 on Feb 17, 2012

benito
Sep 28, 2004

And I don't blab
any drab gab--
I chatter hep patter

Nebakenezzer posted:

I was thinking about this while writing up the airship thing. Do you suppose flying in the USA could get so miserable that people would just stop flying and get there some other way?

I think there's bigger cultural factors at play, such as the fact that we get two weeks of vacation per year and assuming you don't have to use any of that to deal with kids or car repairs or normal life stuff, your travel might be devoted to funerals/weddings/family reunions. A few hours of misery and cramped quarters via the airports is a much better deal than the two or three days of travel that might be required for going by car or train.

Train travel in the US (outside of the northeast corridor) isn't really feasible due to distances and the fact that freight always gets priority and it can take you a looonng time to get where you want to go. The immediacy of flight generated by business travel (sales, training, law, repair, meetings, etc.) keeps things going for the airlines and also means that the airlines don't really have to worry too much about the casual flyer.

I love flying, and I took my first flight when I was 2 months old in 1976. Dad has been in the aviation biz since he got his pilot's license at the age of 16 in 1967. We used to fly from MEM to BNA to see relatives because the plane was cheaper with the employee discount and more reliable than the family car. Now, we always drive, but if we're talking MEM to ATL, flying is a better option. Time, gas, road conditions, weather... There's a different calculation for every two travel points.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Delivery McGee posted:

Edit: I'm sure several children (and possibly grandchildren, by now) of B-52 crewmen have gone on to fly the BUFF themselves ("It's not your father's Air Force, but it may be your father's airplane") but has anybody been issued the same airframe their dad had?

One of the Lt Cols in my squadron is the son of our former squadron commander (about the time I was born), so yes. That's an E-3 squadron. There are a couple of enlisted guys who've been here whose fathers flew on this jet too. So yeah, it happens a lot more than I expected.

Edit: Fair chance my dad fixed the F-15C I got a ride in 25 years later.

Godholio fucked around with this message at 04:45 on Feb 17, 2012

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
Maybe I just fly so much that I'm totally acclimated, trained and desensitized to flying, but none of the poo poo anyone complains about really bothers me. I dress to go through security and I secure all of the things I need in the correct place for when I go through security. Standing in line is slightly annoying or whatever, but really not bad at all. Then I sit in the lounge and do a little work, read the paper or whatever, roll on to the plane, read for fun or do work, maybe make chitchat with the person next to me if they're amenable.

I contrast this with driving for say, six hours (or four hours even) where I spend that time not getting anything accomplished except for perhaps listening to the radio. I'm not entertaining myself or culturing myself via reading, and I'm not getting anything done. It's wasted time.

I've definitely gotten to the point where I'm pretty zen about air travel so that's probably part of it. Plane cancelled? Oh well, what are you going to do? Bitch and moan like a child?

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22

Blistex posted:

Since this mini-derail about the price of flying came up, I had a question. I'm probably going to be booking a one-way ticket from Beijing to Toronto in the next month or two. Anyone know any tricks or tips to get a cheaper price? I've looked into the usual suspects (Air Canada, Travelocity, Expedia, Flightnetwork) and they all usually come in around +/- $20 of each other.

The biggest problem is that I don't know the exact date yet, and when I do, I'll probably only have about 3-5 weeks notice, which means the tickets have gone from $900-1100 to $1200-1500.

Any ideas?

Dunno how old you are but if you're still a student or just out studentuniverse is decent. International travel is expensive. Not giving a gently caress about your routing or stopovers might help, as will flex dates sometimes. Do you need to travel on a Specific Date or can you flex? Typically Tues-Wed-Thurs are cheaper for int'l flights.

KLM for a while was doing a thing where you could lock in a price for a certain period of time for a nominal ($20) fee, which could be useful in your situation... but I don't think they offer any Beijing to Toronto service.

edit: I just looked at AC prices for the direct end of march and it looks like Tuesday and Wednesday are around $600 ish, Mon-Thurs-Fri-Sun are around 900 and Sat is around 700. That's using Kayak.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Feb 17, 2012

manic mike
Oct 8, 2003

no bond too surly

Delivery McGee posted:

("It's not your father's Air Force, but it may be your father's airplane")

I'm pretty sure my dad flew f-4s that were built brand new and retired within the lifetime of the C-130s my squadron is still flying today.

Mobius1B7R
Jan 27, 2008

Delivery McGee posted:


With another member of the old-rear end dumptruck 50 years of service club


Saw a Canadian C-130 come into FLL the other day and it's amazing how smokey the plane is even at idle. It's almost as bad (but awesome) as the 737-200.

And all this talk about paying for tickets, I can fly for free. :smug: I don't fly often enough though, I really should just go on random daytrips just for the hell of it (I work for an airline).

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

Mobius1B7R posted:

Saw a Canadian C-130 come into FLL the other day and it's amazing how smokey the plane is even at idle. It's almost as bad (but awesome) as the 737-200.

And all this talk about paying for tickets, I can fly for free. :smug: I don't fly often enough though, I really should just go on random daytrips just for the hell of it (I work for an airline).

FLL is too far north IMO. Cab fare annihilates at savings I'd get flying in or out of there.

hannibal
Jul 27, 2001

[img-planes]

Mobius1B7R posted:

Saw a Canadian C-130 come into FLL the other day and it's amazing how smokey the plane is even at idle. It's almost as bad (but awesome) as the 737-200.

And all this talk about paying for tickets, I can fly for free. :smug: I don't fly often enough though, I really should just go on random daytrips just for the hell of it (I work for an airline).

I used to see the last C-141s fly into Ramstein (from WPAFB's wing, in 2004) and was amazed how smokey they were.

Cygni
Nov 12, 2005

raring to post

hannibal posted:

I used to see the last C-141s fly into Ramstein (from WPAFB's wing, in 2004) and was amazed how smokey they were.

I can't find the video right now, but there's a relatively recent video of a DC-8 taking off and the smoke is seriously incredible.

movax
Aug 30, 2008

To jump back to flight chat real quick, I recently drove from MI to Kansas City, MO to visit my brother and school, and deliver him his car. So that obviously means booking a flight back.

The flight back cost $160 w/ all fees included booked 5 days in advance, and that was a hop from KCI to Cleveland, and then from Cleveland back to Flint, MI. It took ~2.5 tanks + 12 hours for the drive, so the costs come out pretty damned close to each other. (Roughly $55/tank of gas).

I was jealous of some of my classmates who were co-oping with Delta and such, they would just take random trips across the globe whenever they felt like it. :argh: One guy was working on IFE stuff, I think he crossed the Atlantic at least 50 times in a few months.

iyaayas01
Feb 19, 2010

Perry'd

Godholio posted:

One of the Lt Cols in my squadron is the son of our former squadron commander (about the time I was born), so yes. That's an E-3 squadron. There are a couple of enlisted guys who've been here whose fathers flew on this jet too. So yeah, it happens a lot more than I expected.

Edit: Fair chance my dad fixed the F-15C I got a ride in 25 years later.

Yeah, there are more than a few instances of people whose fathers have flown/worked on/etc the same tails they are now flying/working on/etc...the ones that are really noteworthy is when someone's GRANDFATHER has flown/worked on the same airframe. IIRC this has happened a couple of times with KC-135s and BUFFs, which is entirely possible given how long that iron has been around.

Cygni posted:

I can't find the video right now, but there's a relatively recent video of a DC-8 taking off and the smoke is seriously incredible.

Water injection, most likely.

Dr. Despair
Nov 4, 2009


39 perfect posts with each roll.

Cygni posted:

I can't find the video right now, but there's a relatively recent video of a DC-8 taking off and the smoke is seriously incredible.

I watched a B-52 do a hard climb the other day, and man it's awesome watching it just claw it's way into the sky on a pillar of smoke that stays around for a good 10 minutes.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
TF-33s are smokey as poo poo. Especially when you've got 8 of them.

nummy
Feb 15, 2007
Eat a bowl of fuck.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

words

I'm pretty much the same way. Going through security isn't bad at all. It's the people who don't know any of the rules, and then whine about throwing a brand new bottle of hand lotion away that piss me off. (not to mention the people who bring 5 bags as a carry-on)

I live in Colorado and normally fly back to the midwest (MN and WI) to visit friends/family. I can leave my house at 7am, and be with friends having a drink by 5pm. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, sometimes a bit less. I don't have to concentrate on anything other than getting on the correct plane. I can read, I can surf the net, whatever.

Contrast that with driving through the cornfields of Nebraska/South Dakota for 18+ hours, and I'll fly any day.

LOO
Mar 5, 2004

Delivery McGee posted:


Showing off to the Navy


Really showing off...




Hosting is mine.

Helado
Mar 7, 2004

co199 posted:

Bringing things back down to Earth, check out the glass cockpit in the C-17 in this CNN story:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/02/16/world/asia/singapore-big-jet/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Also a nice shot of a MiG-29 rear end.

That is one weird rear end cockpit layout. It looks like the HUD blocks the outboard displays or something, but maybe that's just the picture messing with depth of field. Military cockpits just always seem so small no matter how big the bird is.

two_beer_bishes
Jun 27, 2004

Mobius1B7R posted:

And all this talk about paying for tickets, I can fly for free. :smug: I don't fly often enough though, I really should just go on random daytrips just for the hell of it (I work for an airline).

The only nice thing about working for the airlines! I did 59 legs last calendar year and only spent $60 on int'l taxes.

Lobster God
Nov 5, 2008

Mr. Despair posted:

I watched a B-52 do a hard climb the other day, and man it's awesome watching it just claw it's way into the sky on a pillar of smoke that stays around for a good 10 minutes.

As in this clip in which a Vulcan has to climb sharply to avoid getting dirty when taking off after a B-52: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYOgsgnZ8dw

evil_bunnY
Apr 2, 2003

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

Plane cancelled? Oh well, what are you going to do? Bitch and moan like a child?
Drink like a fish more like.

PhotoKirk
Jul 2, 2007

insert witty text here

Lobster God posted:

As in this clip in which a Vulcan has to climb sharply to avoid getting dirty when taking off after a B-52: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYOgsgnZ8dw

Vulcans don't fly. They are so ugly that they repel the ground.

monkeytennis
Apr 26, 2007


Toilet Rascal

PhotoKirk posted:

Vulcans don't fly. They are so ugly that they repel the ground.

Oh no you loving didn't go there!

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Phanatic
Mar 13, 2007

Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

nummy posted:

I'm pretty much the same way. Going through security isn't bad at all.

Going through security loving infuriates me.

I do it all the time. I have my poo poo together. It's not the security process itself, it's that all this loving money and time gets wasted on an absolutely *useless* loving process administered by people who could barely manage to work the frier at a Chik-Fil-A without scarring themselves for life.

It's right when the planes have been turned back on after 9/11. I'm flying from Dulles to Norfolk. That morning, I'd been setting off NAVSEA-related explosives. Three charges, 60 lbs of HBX each. My jacket and backpack are laying on the ground outside our bombproof trailer. I'm not the one pressing the button, so I'm watching from the quarry shore as they go off. Once, twice, three times, I see the plume of nitramine fragments and TNT residue drift down across the bombproof, and my backpack, and my jacket.

So of course I get picked from the line in Dulles that night for a random explosives. They swab my backpack down with that little pad, and put it in the sniffer. My internal monologue is going "Oh, gently caress," I'm going to have to call the base's security guys, my boss, his boss, etc.

Nothing. Not a goddamned thing from the detector.

But that was years ago, surely they've gotten better since then? Surely security's more coherent than that ad hoc mess we all had to deal with, with NG guys standing guard in the airports with M16s at port arms, sometimes with their *loving fingers* on the *loving triggers* (which was probably still safe since they didn't have rounds chambered or anything, which demonstrates how purely for-appearances-sake the whole thing was).

Cut to 2010. I'm flying back from Bluegrass Station to Philly with a solid-state drive packed with data. Wouldn't ordinarily do that, but a test flight with a 160th SOAR G-model Chinook went wrong (broken control actuator, pilot was instantly 180 degrees out-of-phase with the aircraft, pitching up and down like a roller coasted 20 feet off the ground) and people needed to look at the data *right now*. On X-ray, the drive unit looks like a big opaque brick, since it's entirely clad in metal. So they make me pull it out for an explosives inspection. Great, the drive's been on a 160th bird for like two months, who knows what the hell it's got on it. Yep. *Ping!* Positive for explosive residue. Security's response is to ask me what the thing is, look through the rest of my bag, and then let me board the plane. Entirely a rational decision, because I wasn't a terrorist with a bomb, but the entire system is set up so that they can't admit that it was a rational decision, they can't say "Well he clearly didn't fit the profile" because they can't even admit that there *is* a profile.

Last year. Flying back from Huntsville to Philly, connecting through Charlotte. At Huntsville, I check my bag, because I know it will be too big for the overhead compartment on the little puddle-jumper to Charlotte. Lots of people don't check their bags at check-in, and so have to check them planeside, because they're too big for the overheads. So, we land at Charlotte, and they've pulled off all the planeside check bags for people to collect as they get off the plane. I see my bag on that rack. It's clearly got the big white coded tag on it, says PHL, and not one of the little pink tags. I say "That's supposed to be checked through to Philly," luggage ape tells me "You have to take it with you now."

So now I'm in the secure area of the airport, with a bag that could have a firearm in it. Or box cutters. This is airport security.

It's a loving joke. It is a colossal and staggering waste of money, and time. Going through security isn't bad at all, but *having* to go through security, *having* to have my bags searched through or my person groped by the same organization of monkeys that rips out colostomy bags, can't tell an insulin pump from a bomb, and seriously has to pretend that grandmothers in wheelchairs and prosthetics are a threat, is definitely in the Top 5 Stupidest Things in America, it's right up there with the War on Drugs and the Washington Nationals.

Phanatic fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Feb 17, 2012

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