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Casu Marzu posted:This is a wrong opinion. Exactly. A martini is a cocktail - a mixed drink. It's not hard to get right but it's way too easy to turn a elegant glass of paint stripper into some drat idiotic blah-tini. 5 shots good gin 1 shot dry vermouth Pour over ice, swirl, strain into a couple martini glasses and serve. Garnish with a twist of lemon or an olive. A pickled caper berry is a nice touch too. Everything should be cold as hell so that you have an oily looking cocktail that seduces you with its siren call. Drink slowly you goon, those martini glasses are tricky business. You can be an rear end in a top hat and shake it up like you're in a James Bond film but now you've gone off the rails and lord help you if you step into my drinking circle. You'll get some really snide looks and we'll even post bitchy comments on facebook about you. If you want a serious taste awakening then try a scotch and soda. Find a good, drinkable scotch (Lagavulin, Laphroaig, or Glenmorangie are good starters) and dump a couple shots worth into a tumbler. Get your seltzer dispenser and whoosh that bad boy up until it's near the rim. Go sit yourself in your favorite chair and reawaken your senses to scotch. It's glorious! Now, make another few and have yourself a merry old time.
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Aug 21, 2012 03:12
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On the downside: I got Jalapeno in my eye. On the upside: It hurts less than last time. Related question, is there any way I can be less affected by raw onions? I love the taste, but I can't cook with them without darting in and out of the kitchen to wash out my eyes.
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Aug 21, 2012 03:19
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homerlaw posted:On the downside: I got Jalapeno in my eye. Run em under cold water for a bit. Chop under your hood, or harden the gently caress up.
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Aug 21, 2012 03:43
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Use the sharpest knife you have. The blunt ones tend to cause a whole lot of pain.
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Aug 21, 2012 03:53
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CuddleChunks posted:Exactly. A martini is a cocktail - a mixed drink. yes. gin, stirred on ice with a twist. I'll take it with the glass rinsed with vermouth depending on the gin used, but any more is rubbish. GrAviTy84 fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Aug 21, 2012 |
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Aug 21, 2012 04:00
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homerlaw posted:Related question, is there any way I can be less affected by raw onions? I love the taste, but I can't cook with them without darting in and out of the kitchen to wash out my eyes. yes. gin, stirred on ice with a twist. Cheap safety glasses
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Aug 21, 2012 04:09
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Back to bitters chat, I go through a 10oz bottle in about a month and a half. But I put like a tablespoon or more in every old fashioned or sazerac that I make.
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Aug 21, 2012 04:41
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Mr. Wiggles posted:Back to bitters chat, I go through a 10oz bottle in about a month and a half. But I put like a tablespoon or more in every old fashioned or sazerac that I make. What bitters would you recommend? I've got a bottle of Angostura lying around somewhere...
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Aug 21, 2012 04:56
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homerlaw posted:On the downside: I got Jalapeno in my eye. In Like Water for Chocolate it was suggested that you put the cut end of the onion on your head to keep from crying. This, of course, does not work. But it is fun to watch people try it.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:03
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Buy all the bitters. I have a bottle of Angostura, Peychauds, Regan's orange bitters (loving amazing in an old fashioned), and some Pimms #1. I used to have a bottle of grapefruit bitters were amazing, but ran out pretty fast.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:05
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I prefer Peychard's, but Angosturra is also okay. I once had a really great bottle of blood orange bitters but I used them all with champagne for breakfast and I forget who made them.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:14
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Do you remember what the bottle looked like?
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Aug 21, 2012 05:32
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It was.....bottle-ly. With a white label.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:40
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CuddleChunks posted:Exactly. A martini is a cocktail - a mixed drink. It's not hard to get right but it's way too easy to turn a elegant glass of paint stripper into some drat idiotic blah-tini. sorry gotta heavily disagree here. a martini has at *very* most a spritz of vermouth (like half a shot in the glass, swirl it around, shake it out) I won't argue about the garnish (twist of lime in my book) because it's a point of preference - but if you're putting more than a miniscule amount of vermouth in the glass, poo poo ain't a martini I have this horrible memory of being sort of drunk in a casino in the UK, and I had just won a fairly large amount of money (for myself at the time, I don't know, it was like 600 pounds or something) playing poker. one of the casino managers offered me a drink - anything I wanted - and I asked for a gordon's (tanqueray) martini. I don't know if like, the entirety of the united kingdom has never heard of a martini or really what was going on, but apparently no one on their entire barstaff knew how to make one? so I tried to explain like 'you just put a spritz of vermouth in a glass, pour it out, shake a couple measures of gin over ice, then strain the gin into the glass and garnish with lime'. the bartender lady was like ... "ok!!  "and 20 minutes later I got a highball glass full of luke warm gin which a shot of sweet vermouth had clearly just been poured into. it was one of the most disgusting things I've forced myself to down in recent memory, and this was like 3 years ago.  RIP good martinis, RIP.
mindphlux fucked around with this message at 05:47 on Aug 21, 2012 |
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Aug 21, 2012 05:40
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I dunno. I like about a half a shot of vermouth in my martinis.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:49
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Is a crantini a martini?
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Aug 21, 2012 05:50
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what is a crantini
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Aug 21, 2012 05:51
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Well, poo poo. I'm taking a week off here soon (woohoo) and it looks like besides 18 home improvement projects and designing 2 websites and 28 cooking projects I will now be adding "make tonic" to my ever-growing and totally ridiculously long want-to-do list. Also, Lillet Rose on the rocks with a grapefruit twist is goddamn refreshing.
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Aug 21, 2012 05:52
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mindphlux posted:what is a crantini An abomination. The bastard inbred half-sibling of appletinis, chocotinis and kitchensinktinis. A martini is gin (an argument can be made for vodka), a SMALL amount of vermouth and possibly a lemon twist or a few olives. Dirty martinis with olive brine potentially acceptable.
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Aug 21, 2012 06:44
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my preferred "martini" is 1.5/1.5, dolin and bruichladdich botanist, 2 shake peychauds, stir, twist. either way, it's sort of a moot point - the martini with vermouth is a wretched, pedestrian drink, better replaced with any number of alternatives. without vermouth, or with little vermouth, it's thinly veiled alcoholism with an aftertaste of bitter inadequacy and trying too hard.
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Aug 21, 2012 07:00
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You guys know that despite whatever nonsense churchill imprinted upon the popular consciousness a martini most definitely is a mixed drink with a noticeable amount of vermouth and everything else requires a pair of these: ""? I mean, I enjoy drinking chilled clear liquor as much as the next guy and if I want to order it I will call it a martini but in the end it really isn't. Also, I believe the original martini is even further off than any of us have posted and includes gin, vodka, vermouth, something else, and oh god I want to drink so bad only two weeks left
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Aug 21, 2012 07:06
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Aug 21, 2012 07:12
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mindphlux posted:and 20 minutes later I got a highball glass full of luke warm gin which a shot of sweet vermouth had clearly just been poured into. it was one of the most disgusting things I've forced myself to down in recent memory, and this was like 3 years ago. Summary: you drank the salsa chicken of mixed drinks and you're trying to lay that on the feet of the martini. I will fight you 
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Aug 21, 2012 07:14
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Halalelujah posted:You guys know that despite whatever nonsense churchill imprinted upon the popular consciousness a martini most definitely is a mixed drink with a noticeable amount of vermouth and everything else requires a pair of these: ""? I'm sippin a rye manhattan with orange bitters for you right now.
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Aug 21, 2012 07:14
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I dunno, best martini I had was a glass rinsed with vodka, vodka shaken with ice and topped off with an ounce of pickle juice.
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Aug 21, 2012 07:33
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^^^ A glass rinsed with vodka? pork never goes bad posted:my preferred "martini" is 1.5/1.5, dolin and bruichladdich botanist, 2 shake peychauds, stir, twist. either way, it's sort of a moot point - the martini with vermouth is a wretched, pedestrian drink, better replaced with any number of alternatives. without vermouth, or with little vermouth, it's thinly veiled alcoholism with an aftertaste of bitter inadequacy and trying too hard. Agreed. That said, I have never had a martini I like. I'm a huge fan of gin but I am not super into drinking it (essentially) straight. Maybe if I could afford better than Gordon's (which is awesome for cheap gin) then I might enjoy a well-done martini. Last time I ordered one I asked for one made with Bombay original and it was utterly revolting. I watched the bartender make it and she did the whole flashy bartending move where they start pouring and raise the bottle raise it as they do so, pouring from like 1.5 feet away then back down again... with the vermouth. And then she must have shaken it with like no ice because I got a warm vermouth with a splash of gin.
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Aug 21, 2012 09:18
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God I fucking love Diablo 3 gold, it even paid for this shitty title
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Good martinis are only to be found in high-end places or people's houses in the UK. Even a lot of places with decent cocktail menus make shite martinis.
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Aug 21, 2012 10:51
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homerlaw posted:On the downside: I got Jalapeno in my eye. Spray bottle with the setting on the finest mist. When you start feeling the tears, a few sprays in the air over the cutting area, and you're golden.
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Aug 21, 2012 12:07
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Churchill was quoted as saying that the best martini was a glass of gin, raised in the direction of France. Or something like that. He was wrong about martinis too. I've been given a crock pot by a friend. I have no idea if it even works. Is there a way to test if it'll get up to the proper temperatures without ruining, say, a whole brisket in the event that it doesn't?
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Aug 21, 2012 12:33
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Bertrand Hustle posted:
Wouldn't just heating some water in it be sufficient to be able to test the temperature, assuming you have a thermometer handy.
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Aug 21, 2012 12:35
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DekeThornton posted:Wouldn't just heating some water in it be sufficient to be able to test the temperature, assuming you have a thermometer handy. I suppose that'd work. Now to look up what temperature each setting is supposed to be.
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Aug 21, 2012 12:42
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Wait, Vermouth only lasts like a week in the fridge? gently caress I guess I'm done drinking Manhattans then.
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Aug 21, 2012 13:42
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FishBulb posted:Wait, Vermouth only lasts like a week in the fridge? It's safe to drink for a year at least. It just loses flavour over time. link
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Aug 21, 2012 14:02
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homerlaw posted:
Here ya go you big baby
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Aug 21, 2012 14:15
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mindphlux posted:GORDONS? 
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Aug 21, 2012 22:41
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just don't loving loving gently caress thine tanqueray faggots
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Aug 22, 2012 04:17
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Fishing really is the best past time. Relaxing and you get to eat tasty foods.
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Aug 22, 2012 05:21
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I need a name for my soccer team this year. Last year I went with Riot Squad because we got Galaxy colors, but this year I'm stuck with blue/black. Nothing Earthquakes or Chelsea related please. Appropriate name for a team of 10 year olds, please. I was thinking Boca Jrs. Jrs. but I'm afraid some of the Mexican kids on my team might not take kindly to an Argentinian name. Maybe Internazionale Yerington (our town name?)
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Aug 22, 2012 06:59
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Casu Marzu posted:Fishing really is the best past time. Relaxing and you get to eat tasty foods. Except when you pull out a tasty catfish and realize it's covered in tumors. Still relaxing, but the desire to eat it just melts away. I don't like the pond by me.
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Aug 22, 2012 07:49
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Mr. Wiggles posted:I need a name for my soccer team this year. Last year I went with Riot Squad because we got Galaxy colors, but this year I'm stuck with blue/black. Nothing Earthquakes or Chelsea related please. Appropriate name for a team of 10 year olds, please. I was thinking Boca Jrs. Jrs. but I'm afraid some of the Mexican kids on my team might not take kindly to an Argentinian name. 1. FC Wurstschlägers
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Aug 22, 2012 07:58
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