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The Onion just published a satire of U.S. gun control: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack Brilliant.
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Jan 10, 2013 23:30
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Holy poo poo that article is loving amazing
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Jan 11, 2013 00:30
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Brother Jonathan posted:The Onion just published a satire of U.S. gun control: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack “The answer to this systemic problem is not more gorillas,” Simmons continued, her eyes welling with tears. “The answer is fewer gorillas.” I'm so glad the full Onion updates are back. The rest did them good.
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Jan 11, 2013 01:39
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“What happened in San Diego was horrible, but that doesn’t mean all gorillas are bad,” Harrington added. “In fact, if every person at that mall had a gorilla, then the tragedy probably never would have even happened in the first place.” Just fantastic. 
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Jan 11, 2013 02:15
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Bradley Cooper Racks Up Staggering One Oscar Nominations “This huge haul absolutely demolishes Cooper’s previous personal best of no nominations in 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, and 2004.” Cooper’s big morning comes on the heels of the actor announcing he would be starring in the upcoming half-film, The Hangover Part III.
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Jan 11, 2013 03:45
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Jerusalem posted:“What happened in San Diego was horrible, but that doesn’t mean all gorillas are bad,” Harrington added. “In fact, if every person at that mall had a gorilla, then the tragedy probably never would have even happened in the first place.” Man, all that's missing is a part about some wingnut conspiracy theory about the Obama administration unleashing gorillas to attack a school or cinema to make gorilla control more popular and it'll be golden.
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Jan 11, 2013 04:04
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Brother Jonathan posted:The Onion just published a satire of U.S. gun control: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack This is outstanding, and perfect satire.
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Jan 11, 2013 04:14
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I think it really deserves to be said that Sex House is probably one of the funniest things the Onion's done with their videos. Not to say I don't enjoy a lot of The Onion's videos in general, but for being a drawn out "series" it was legitimately really, really clever and well written.
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Jan 11, 2013 08:18
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NRA Sends Complimentary Bereavement Gun Baskets To Families Of Shooting Victims
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Jan 12, 2013 01:40
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Overweight 6-Year-Old Vows To Change Lifestyle After Second Heart Attack "Post-breakfast snack" is so simple and hilarious.
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Jan 14, 2013 19:20
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The 6 Best Dresses At the Golden Globes Sometimes the Onion is funny, sometimes it's just 
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Jan 14, 2013 22:48
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Panicking Flu Swears It Didn’t Mean To Kill Old Lady As usual the closing line is a winner.
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Jan 14, 2013 23:26
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Miles Vorkosigan posted:The 6 Best Dresses At the Golden Globes Oh wow. They really knocked it out of the park with this one.
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Jan 14, 2013 23:57
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Miles Vorkosigan posted:The 6 Best Dresses At the Golden Globes Here's an oldie but a goodie: Obama Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
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Jan 15, 2013 16:32
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Robert Denby posted:I love when they do this. Any real newspaper that does something like this deserves a Pulitzer stat. Hahahaha, I was just reading PYF's new Goons.jpg thread, and they mentioned Kuuenbu, and low and behold, if the Onion doesn't spook me! In the crawl for this story, "News from Greenboro, NC: Dad ruins Internet Radio Show."  I wonder if The Onion will have a run on its Cheat To Win bracelets with the latest from Lance Armstrong and Oprah this week.
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Jan 15, 2013 17:01
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Robert Denby posted:Here's an oldie but a goodie: Obama Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's I live in Manassas and this is dead on.
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Jan 15, 2013 17:41
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Haven’t We All Done Steroids, In A Way? It's by Lance Armstrong
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Jan 15, 2013 19:41
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Ten Percent Of U.S. High School Students Graduating Without Basic Object Permanence Skills
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Jan 15, 2013 20:01
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Robert Denby posted:I love when they do this. Any real newspaper that does something like this deserves a Pulitzer stat. "We microwaved his food till it was warm all the way through. Because, you know, he's the President..."
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Jan 15, 2013 23:27
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Wow. SPONSORED: The Taliban Is A Vibrant And Thriving Political Movement
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Jan 16, 2013 03:27
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Lance Armstrong Admits To Using Performance-Enhancing Drugs To Show Remorse Man, they're really hammering good ol' Dope.
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Jan 16, 2013 03:32
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I-95 Diagnosed With Highway Cancer It's mostly one of those articles that just hammers home what's in the headline, but as usual, the last line knocks it out of the park. quote:At press time, state lawmakers were in the process of requesting emergency funding from the federal government, as the expensive highway cancer treatments are not covered by I-95’s health insurance.
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Jan 16, 2013 03:32
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In case anyone missed this story yesterday, the Church of Scientology put a sponsored post on the Atlantic's website. It was just as hilariously positive as the Onion's Taliban article, and probably fooled a lot of people into thinking it was a legitimate story before it was pulled. The only way you can tell it was basically an ad was the yellow highlighted text towards the top. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/atlantic-scientology-miscavige-milestone-032942636.html
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Jan 16, 2013 16:28
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Brother Jonathan posted:The Onion just published a satire of U.S. gun control: Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack I love how they can take an otherwise normal news article, replace a word/phrase, and make it great satire while still retaining the overall message. Case in point, Shaq Misses Entire Second Half With Pulled Pork Sandwich Miles Vorkosigan posted:The 6 Best Dresses At the Golden Globes 
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Jan 16, 2013 20:23
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Professor Wayne posted:In case anyone missed this story yesterday, the Church of Scientology put a sponsored post on the Atlantic's website. It was just as hilariously positive as the Onion's Taliban article, and probably fooled a lot of people into thinking it was a legitimate story before it was pulled. The only way you can tell it was basically an ad was the yellow highlighted text towards the top. Shaq articles, best articles: Shaq Spends Entire 'Inside The NBA' Segment Analyzing Size Of Own Hands Shaq Finds Mysterious Inscriptions Written on Basketball Revelations From Shaq’s New Book  And of course, this amazing Onion Sportsdome segment. Robert Denby has a new favorite as of 20:48 on Jan 16, 2013 |
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Jan 16, 2013 20:37
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Report: Most Small Businesses Fail In First 6 Hours Of Being On Fire
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Jan 16, 2013 21:46
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This is actually the most depressing thing I've ever read. Afghanistan War Veteran Solemnly Recalls Seeing Entire Platoon Killed By Undiagnosed PTSD quote:DUNN, NC—After being asked to speak about his experience fighting in the war in Afghanistan on Tuesday, U.S. Army veteran Jackson Richards solemnly recalled an episode when, during a five-year period immediately following his return to the United States, his whole platoon was murdered by undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder. “Right from the beginning, you could tell things were looking bad; it was clear some of us weren’t going to make it out alive,” said the 26-year-old lieutenant, his voice trembling as he described how each of his friends was psychologically tortured, shot, or hanged during the 264-week-long ordeal. “The worst was the constant sense of fear and dread, not knowing when the enemy was going to creep up and strike while your kids were at school.” Richards added that he is always happy to answer questions about the war, since he is constantly reliving his experiences over and over in his head.
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Jan 16, 2013 22:18
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Four Homeless People Dead In What Girlfriend Refers To As 'Cuddle Weather' Is it just me or are has The Onion been getting even more grim in the last couple of months or something
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Jan 16, 2013 22:20
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CAT rear end now!!! posted:Four Homeless People Dead In What Girlfriend Refers To As 'Cuddle Weather' Somebody says this every couple months. They've always been like that.
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Jan 16, 2013 23:45
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So what did Jodie Foster do lately?
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Jan 17, 2013 01:46
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She did this at the Golden Globes. It was weird.
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Jan 17, 2013 02:01
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Robert Denby posted:Shaq articles, best articles: Haha quote:Had a fierce rivalry with Andre Agassi, although there was no practical way to express or demonstrate this
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Jan 17, 2013 07:55
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Internet Users Demand Less Interactivity was clearly written by someone very frustrated, and I like it for that.
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Jan 17, 2013 08:09
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Uh-Oh, Photo Of Crying Woman On Cover Of National Newspaper
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Jan 17, 2013 23:34
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BrooklynBruiser posted:This is actually the most depressing thing I've ever read. Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc. That'll sober you up better than a DUI 
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Jan 18, 2013 00:04
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Internet Users Demand Less Interactivity
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Jan 18, 2013 00:09
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Probably already posted, but not on this page at least: Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Department Of Interior
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Jan 18, 2013 00:14
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Just announced: The Onion will be releasing an e-book on Friday, an "autobiography" of Vice President Biden. The title is The President of Vice. To promote the book, the Onion will be having an Ask Me Anything on Reddit the same day, answering questions as Diamond Joe.
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Jan 18, 2013 00:20
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Man Who Got poo poo Together 5 Years Ago Still Viewed As Lovable Fuckup By Friends, Family As usual last line pulls it together.
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Jan 18, 2013 00:50
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American Voices is the best section of the site IMO Obama Pushing Broad Gun Control Measures
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Jan 18, 2013 17:00
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