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Happy Hat posted:I have never been to a weeding with that many people attending... "Culture thing" about sums it up: My mother just got remarried and it was, in her words, "very small, only 80 people, max." The small, "family-only" dinner the night before was 25.
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Jan 24, 2013 13:32
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Mr. Wiggles posted:So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes. If you could get three or four people to help you who know what they're doing, maaaaaybe, but there's no way one person can do this.
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Jan 24, 2013 14:40
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Mr. Wiggles posted:So, for my impending wedding, my fiance has suggested that it might be a good idea that we make all the food for the reception. I agreed that this might be feasible, since I won't really have anything to do the day before or the day of the wedding until I have to put my suit on about half an hour before we get hitched, and I'll have the entire church kitchen at my disposal (which is a pretty nice pro level kitchen). Guest list for the reception is about 200 people, and I'm thinking tamales, pozole, carne asada, tortillas, and assorted fresh vegetable/fruit dishes. You will have a miserable wedding if you choose to do this. I'm not saying it can't be done, but you will not enjoy yourself at all.
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Jan 24, 2013 15:05
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You people don't understand, time flows more slowly in Wiggles-land. I say more power to you, I'm considering doing the same thing this summer.
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Jan 24, 2013 15:29
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Happy Hat posted:Holy smokes... 200 people!!! For American weddings, where both families are large , about 100 people is average. For the spectacularly well connected, or church going (where you tend to get a lot of friends and well wishers who would be hurt at being left out just from the sheer size of the community at large) you're easily talking 150 people. Wiggles, I cooked for my own wedding and my BFF's wedding. Even though the recipes were straightforward and the kitchens well-equipped, I found that literally everything took three times as long as it usually does. If you do decide to go with it, get three helpers, and begin cooking three days in advance. When there is a major gently caress up (as there is bound to be), you'll have time for plan b. I would also suggest outsourcing anything tedious and fiddly, like appetisers that involve dumplings, or individual faffing about. You'll thank yourself when you see the rear end in a top hat whose eyes are bigger than his stomach take three helpings and then throw it out because it has a green herb in it.
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Jan 24, 2013 15:32
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Hire a taco truck to come make tacos for your guests. Everyone loves tacos.
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Jan 24, 2013 15:41
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EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:Hire a taco truck to come make tacos for your guests. Everyone loves tacos. Excellent idea. I went to a wedding where an ice cream van appeared to provide pudding. Soft serves, Flakes, ice creams - whatever one wanted. It worked brilliantly. People loved it.
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Jan 24, 2013 16:00
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Wiggles, that is a bad idea. Please, for your sake and the sake of those who will be around you immediately prior to and after the wedding itself, do not do this. Also, this Billy Mays SushiCaulk™ 6000 serious post made me lol: quote:Exactly. EXACTLY. He mad?
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Jan 24, 2013 16:29
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Steakandchips posted:That Minnesota video is hilarious. I got behind on chit-chat but yes, it's both hilarious and scarily accurate. Accepting food on the third offer is something my friend who grew up in New Jersey commented on when we were in college. I also have several Lutheran (and Catholic - don't blame hotdish on the Reformation) church cookbooks and they're amazing treasure troves of cream soups and jello salads that would make Mormons green with lime-flavored envy. Now I'm going to have to watch myself all day so I don't slip back into the MN accent at work. 
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Jan 24, 2013 16:31
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Wiggles obviously knows how to cook, and I could pull off that buffet with 4-6 hours of prep the day before, and 2-4 hours I cooking day of. 200 is not a lot when you're talking a buffet, people you'll want to have ~150 servings of each item, and you can make the hardest one(tamales) up to 3 days in advance. If you can give me an idea of the kitchen equipment, I could even block the whole thing out for you.
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Jan 24, 2013 17:18
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bartolimu posted:I got behind on chit-chat but yes, it's both hilarious and scarily accurate. Accepting food on the third offer is something my friend who grew up in New Jersey commented on when we were in college. I also have several Lutheran (and Catholic - don't blame hotdish on the Reformation) church cookbooks and they're amazing treasure troves of cream soups and jello salads that would make Mormons green with lime-flavored envy. You speak so much truth. Puppy's mum had bought all kind of (Catholic) church fundraiser cookery books, all of which were completely overflowing with cream-of-something-or-other. It was horrible. And then they'd attempt things like "African Soup", which was tomato soup, "hamburger" that's been greyed and drained, and then like ketchup, and a 1/8 tsp of black pepper. It horrified me. I could just imagine anyone from actual Africa going, "For one, which country. For another, I know of no country that would eat that poo poo, except for yours." Funny enough, my mum was mentioning the accepting food on the third offer culture shock thing. We have these friends, Jerry and Katherine. He's a New York old Jewish dude, and she's a New York old Catholic lady, who's travelled extensively in Europe for opera training. Both of them are used to being good hosts and the like. My parents were both South Indian to the core, so they weren't used to the American ways. Katherine would offer to get my mum or dad something, and they'd refuse. Us kids, being young, didn't know any better, and would accept immediately. So she'd herd the kids into the TV room, with snacks and juice, while my parents would sit there with nothing at all, because they didn't want anything.  It took about three or four visits before my mum realised that you're to accept on the first offer, and they're more than happy to feed you. They initially felt like my parents were uncomfortable eating from a meat eater's house (as many Brahmins are), and didn't want to push the issue. My parents were just being polite. It's funny now that I think about it, but my mum was horrified watching Katherine offer her something, get the refusal, then toddle into the kitchen to get herself a snack anyway. "You know, I don't mind," Katherine would say. And my mum, thinking Katherine was finally playing the game, would refuse. And get nothing.
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Jan 24, 2013 17:52
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That's fascinating. What is it about South Indian culture that led them to refuse initial offers so fervently?
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Jan 24, 2013 18:00
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I've traveled pretty extensively, and I've never heard of this. I would be offended if someone declined my first offer because they were playing some kind of game; it's fundamentally dishonest. If I ask you if you want something, I'm expecting an honest answer, otherwise screw you. Using words to communicate totally breaks down if you are expected to ignore certain ones. The Japanese thing of communicating through deliberate omission makes a lot more sense then this.
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Jan 24, 2013 18:31
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This happens in Chinese and Korean cultures too. The offerer is supposed to insist three times and the receiver is supposed to resist until the third offer. It's just a social ritual. If you wanted to read deeper into it, it's a way for the offerer to communicate or emphasize how sincere they are and the receiver can communicate their reluctance to inconvenience the offerer unless they super want to. Both parties are trying to be polite. There are lots of small rituals we go through when interacting with other people to make the encounter more smooth and comfortable. There are weird western rituals like saying God Bless You after someone sneezes or Excuse Me when passing someone. There are cultures where you're not supposed to say Thank You when close friends do nice things to each other and if you accidentally thank a close friend for something they might take it as an insult.
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Jan 24, 2013 18:44
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Maybe this is why Mrs. Gunderson's guests didn't eat any of the curry hotdish; she just didn't offer it enough times.
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Jan 24, 2013 18:47
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Check your privilege.
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Jan 24, 2013 18:49
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Squashy Nipples posted:Maybe this is why Mrs. Gunderson's guests didn't eat any of the curry hotdish; she just didn't offer it enough times. Oh squashy, cultural anthropologist extraordinaire! 
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Jan 24, 2013 18:54
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This is not something that is restricted to asian or minnesotan culture... In the south here, it is the same... Also - I do not think you actually offend anyone by accepting their offer... The thought processes involved is pretty much well described by Charmmi! Also: I was confused as hell when I got the question "How are you?" at first in the states.. I tried to answer it detailed and in honest, which apparantly isn't what people are looking for, which is dishonest interest on their part, and clearly culturally insensitive to my minority!
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Jan 24, 2013 18:56
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The offering three times thing is pretty normal, I thought? Anyway, good thoughts on the wedding. Thanks all. It's going to be served buffet style, and the menu really shouldn't be that complicated. As for the guest list, well, we both have pretty big families and there's a lot of folks from church who will be there. I'll probably ask a bit more advice on menu when it gets closer (the wedding is April 26), and I'll post some photos of the kitchen tonight. Another question is how much wine I ought to be providing. I've already picked up 5 cases, and I know I'll probably need a lot more, but on the other hand most of her family (being Southern Baptist types) don't drink or don't drink much, so I'm having a hard time figuring out exactly how much I'll need. I'm going to have some beer, too, but probably not as much, and I'm hoping to have the Knights of Columbus run the bar for me.
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Jan 24, 2013 18:57
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Mr. Wiggles posted:The offering three times thing is pretty normal, I thought? You keep blowing my mind... I would say 1 1/2 bottle per person, and then beer and alcohol on top of that Edit: Ahh.. change that.. . 1 1/2 bottles per man, and half that for the women, still go on the beer and alcohol though.. Say... around 160 bottles of wine, and 10 cases (30) of beer...
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Jan 24, 2013 19:02
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Happy Hat posted:Also: I was confused as hell when I got the question "How are you?" at first in the states.. I tried to answer it detailed and in honest, which apparantly isn't what people are looking for, which is dishonest interest on their part, and clearly culturally insensitive to my minority! I feel the same way! That's why I prefer the Klingon greeting "NuqneH" which is roughly "what do you want?"
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Jan 24, 2013 19:07
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please don't troll the foreigner, he's confused enough as it is.
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Jan 24, 2013 19:26
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The ask 3 times thing is pretty ubiquitous imo.Happy Hat posted:I have never been to a weeding with that many people attending... My brother in law's brother married into a very big Chinese family (that was pretty well off, too). That wedding was like 325 people. They rented out a banquet hall in SF Chinatown and did the full Chinese banquet. That wedding owned. EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:Hire a taco truck to come make tacos for your guests. Everyone loves tacos. My cousin in Chula Vista did something similar. Not a truck, but they hired a woman and her husband and they brought a flat top and stuff for tacos/sides. Was pretty cool, yeah.
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Jan 24, 2013 19:30
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Casu Marzu posted:Check your privilege. I have checked it! I took a look at it just the other day, and it's rather large. Bigger then yours!  Happy Hat posted:Also: I was confused as hell when I got the question "How are you?" at first in the states.. I tried to answer it detailed and in honest, which apparantly isn't what people are looking for, which is dishonest interest on their part, and clearly culturally insensitive to my minority! Yeah, that's always bugged me a little, but I've just accepted it as a matter of idiom. Except when I was in Ireland, there they seem to expect you to gush effusively about how unbelievably positive your day is going, punctuated with a bright proclamation of 'Cheers!'. This is because the Irish language is composed of 20-30% of the word 'cheers'. It has different meanings depending on context; their usage is a lot like how The Smurfs use the word "smurf" or "smurfy" in conversation. This has been a message from Squashy Nipples, Cultural Anthropologist (extraordinaire).
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Jan 24, 2013 19:47
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GrAviTy84 posted:My cousin in Chula Vista did something similar. Not a truck, but they hired a woman and her husband and they brought a flat top and stuff for tacos/sides. Was pretty cool, yeah. My favorite wedding reception ever was catered by a BBQ restaurant. Everyone loved the food, and it lent a deliberately casual vibe to the affair.
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Jan 24, 2013 19:48
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Happy Hat posted:You keep blowing my mind... Not a bad estimate, thanks. I'll have to adjust it when we have the final guest list and see how many teetotallers there are, but otherwise that's probably what I'll go with. I think the beer will be a rough call - I'll want good stuff, but there's a lot of Coors Light types that are going to be coming, so I'll have to estimate how much of each. My son said he's going to make soda pop for all of the kids coming - he's pretty good at root beer and sarsparilla, and he'd like to expand to strawberry and orange for the wedding. He's planning 20 gallons. I have a cool son.
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Jan 24, 2013 20:07
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Mr. Wiggles posted:Not a bad estimate, thanks. I'll have to adjust it when we have the final guest list and see how many teetotallers there are, but otherwise that's probably what I'll go with.
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Jan 24, 2013 20:28
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Mr. Wiggles posted:...most of her family (being Southern Baptist types) ... Half Southern Baptists only means that everyone else will drink twice as much so that they can deal with them, so that's a push.
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Jan 24, 2013 20:46
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No Wave posted:You can probably work it out with a liquor distributor to be able to return unused bottles. This. Most liquor stores here offer sale and return for large orders (plus free glass hire, pay only for what you break).
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Jan 24, 2013 20:53
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No Wave posted:You can probably work it out with a liquor distributor to be able to return unused bottles. Do this. I'd recommend getting 2-3 kegs of beer. We had 1 keg each of Blue Moon Wheat and Shiner for ~ 100 people, and about a quarter of each was leftover.
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Jan 24, 2013 20:56
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Chef De Cuisinart posted:Do this. Good idea. That way, you can also do keg stands. Make sure the best man brings a funnel and tube.
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Jan 24, 2013 21:44
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The Midniter posted:That's fascinating. What is it about South Indian culture that led them to refuse initial offers so fervently? In essence, you're letting your host know that you don't want to put them to any trouble, and acknowledging silently that their offer of food or drink to you would cost them something, especially in a country where the poor had ration books for their staples (beans, rice, etc). You're talking about 1 kg of beans per person per month, and everything else had to be bought at astronomical cost. So like, you're basically saying, "I would love some, but I really don't want to put you out." And the host is responding, "It's cool, mang. You're like family to me, and I'd consider your needs as important as my own." It's just a function of a fairly poor society trying to ensure that they don't put the host out. THAT BEING SAID. It applies mainly to situations where you're dropping in on the person. NOT in situations where you're invited to dinner. So like, if your buddy invited you over specifically to eat food, you're sitting around, and will be served a meal. There's no point in refusing any amount of times, because it's understood that you came to eat. That's why when someone who's not used to that sort of thinking is introduced to the concept, they think that it's silly. It's not about putting someone out who expected you to come over and eat, it's about not asking someone to make you something at a moment's notice (even though s/he is usually happy to do so). This tends to come up in Indian households, because you've got your family and friends living in walking distance of your house, and they'll pop in for a few minutes on the walk home. And in those situations, the host will usually rustle up some snacks (chivda, chakli, bajji, etc) that he's had in storage anyway for just that occasion of random guests. However, the offer is refused in case the guy really is unprepared.
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Jan 24, 2013 22:00
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dino. posted:THAT BEING SAID. It applies mainly to situations where you're dropping in on the person. NOT in situations where you're invited to dinner. So like, if your buddy invited you over specifically to eat food, you're sitting around, and will be served a meal. There's no point in refusing any amount of times, because it's understood that you came to eat. That's why when someone who's not used to that sort of thinking is introduced to the concept, they think that it's silly. It's not about putting someone out who expected you to come over and eat, it's about not asking someone to make you something at a moment's notice (even though s/he is usually happy to do so). This tends to come up in Indian households, because you've got your family and friends living in walking distance of your house, and they'll pop in for a few minutes on the walk home. Ahhhh, now I understand. That's why I was confused - if I invited someone over for dinner, I'd be offended if I had to ask them three times if they wanted something to eat, but for drop-ins, that makes much more sense. Hell, if I ever drop by someone's place unexpectedly, I usually refuse any refreshments myself. Thanks for the explanation!
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Jan 24, 2013 22:06
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 I finally have a job! It's in Minneapolis, so that video will be quite helpful.
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Jan 25, 2013 00:45
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Yawgmoth posted:
you bet.
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Jan 25, 2013 00:58
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Okay Wiggles, you need me, and you're going to have to trust me. We go back quite a ways, yes? I know and respect you as a fantastic cook and a great guy with an amazingly honest and authentic take on food. I have catered weddings, had a wedding of my own and done a ton of professional catering in a variety of venues and capacities. DUDE: DO NOT COOK THE FOOD FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING. REPEAT. DO NOT COOK THE FOOD FOR YOUR OWN WEDDING. Here's why: 1. You do not have experience in large scale catering. For every one factor you plan for, there are three factors that you won't plan for. Trust me, the logistics are not as simple as you think they are. I mean no disrespect, but you're in over your head. 2. You are underestimating the sheer amount of poo poo you will have to do the day before and the day of the wedding. Everyone is saying "oh, we want you to have the day you want, we want you to be relaxed and enjoy it, it's your day" BUT THEY ARE LYING. They have expectations and assumptions that mean everything to them that they are not telling you about. What do you do when your new wife's mother gets the vapors because you are not doing a cake cutting ceremony or you did not plan a first dance and then a second dance with opposite-sex in-laws or a bouquet toss or the chair dance or the chicken dance or whatever she assumed you would be doing? You're not going to say "gently caress you, mom, it's our day!" Seriously- you will be booked all day doing various "meaningful "things that various family members think are extremely important. 3. Ask the KofC if they do a per-person priced open bar. HH's numbers are way high, especially considering the number of teetotalers.
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Jan 25, 2013 01:03
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Wiggles, have you decided what music you're going to have at the wedding?
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Jan 25, 2013 01:12
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I vote for German metal. That'd certainly make for an interesting wedding.
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Jan 25, 2013 02:02
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Wroughtirony posted:Okay Wiggles, you need me, and you're going to have to trust me. We go back quite a ways, yes? I know and respect you as a fantastic cook and a great guy with an amazingly honest and authentic take on food. I have catered weddings, had a wedding of my own and done a ton of professional catering in a variety of venues and capacities. Help me be not in over my head, then. I'll take advice. quote:2. You are underestimating the sheer amount of poo poo you will have to do the day before and the day of the wedding. Everyone is saying "oh, we want you to have the day you want, we want you to be relaxed and enjoy it, it's your day" BUT THEY ARE LYING. They have expectations and assumptions that mean everything to them that they are not telling you about. What do you do when your new wife's mother gets the vapors because you are not doing a cake cutting ceremony or you did not plan a first dance and then a second dance with opposite-sex in-laws or a bouquet toss or the chair dance or the chicken dance or whatever she assumed you would be doing? You're not going to say "gently caress you, mom, it's our day!" Seriously- you will be booked all day doing various "meaningful "things that various family members think are extremely important. Most of that stuff is for during the reception though, at which point I'm not doing anything. The plan is to cook and prep for the days leading up to the wedding, and the day of to do final work and get everything in warmers or what have you, then put on my suit and go get hitched. Other people will take care of the serving and so forth, so that's not a big deal. Photos, dances, etc., etc. will all happen when I'm in chill out time. PLUS, since I'm paying for this whole gig, I get a little more say than the average groom in deciding what goes down when, I think. Though I stress that I am a very gracious host. quote:3. Ask the KofC if they do a per-person priced open bar. HH's numbers are way high, especially considering the number of teetotalers. I'll look at the numbers when I get the RSVPs totalled up, but I'm still trying to get a general idea. KofC won't provide the liquor - that's on me, so that's why planning is important. Steakandchips posted:Wiggles, have you decided what music you're going to have at the wedding? The wedding is a traditional mass, so it gets traditional mass music. The theme prior to entry and for presentation of the gifts is Ubi Caritas, but otherwise the music is mostly Elgar and Vaughn Williams. The reception though I'm thinking to do mostly Django Reinhardt, chanson music, and switch to the Pogues and the Dubliners when things get fun later.
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Jan 25, 2013 02:33
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HI FRIENDS I had some scotches tonight, it turns out that scotch is pretty tasty 
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Jan 25, 2013 03:00
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