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Yonic Symbolism posted:
Use a pineapple you loving wuss.
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Jun 16, 2013 01:00
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| # ? May 19, 2024 05:56 |
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Yonic Symbolism posted:Now excuse me while I go put a banana up my rear end to impress a woman. Don't forget to pour hot water or oil over your genitals afterwards if you want to go the extra mile.
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Jun 16, 2013 01:15
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I am somehow simultaneously fat, skinny, and muscular, so really what the gently caress.
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Jun 16, 2013 01:23
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I'm just a fat ol' sack of crap, but now I have a dog so I will definitely go out walking each day, rather than thinking about it, saying 'eehhhh' and going back to playing Crusader Kings 2 or whatever. I'll still be a weakling, but I can deal with that once I am not-fat.
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Jun 16, 2013 08:07
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Are you mad because I'm 5'11", 210 pounds, 12%-13% bodyfat, and able to bench almost 315 pounds and you aren't? I'm on a bulk right now, but I should be cutting next week, just in time for the summer. So while I'm rocking some killer abs at 10% bodyfat on the beach, you're going to be on here making fun of the few people who exist in this entire world that are actually more pathetic than you. I bet you're like 20% bodyfat and don't even count your daily caloric intake. Don't worry, though; no one can tell how fat and disgusting you are if you never leave your basement, and thus never see any people in real life. Say what you want about me, but just know that I'm extremely athletic and good looking (at least the 9s and 10s who approach me seem to think so), and you're... not? Is that a fair assumption to make? Yeah, let's just go with that. Never been wrong before about the quality of "people" on somethingawful before.
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Jun 16, 2013 08:17
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Your body will eventually rot away like a pile of wind-blown leaves under the boards of a sagging porch. I spend my time burnishing my soul, which will shine forever at the right hand of God. Time to microwave me up a Marie Callender's cheesy chicken pot pie!
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Jun 16, 2013 10:55
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As the generations of leaves are the generations of goon.
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Jun 16, 2013 22:11
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HEGEL SMOKE A J posted:As the generations of leaves are the generations of goon. uh
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Jun 16, 2013 23:50
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tbp posted:uh It's a Simpsons reference.
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Jun 17, 2013 00:21
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syscall girl posted:It's a Simpsons reference. They still make those?
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Jun 18, 2013 01:24
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This awful app isn't too bad. Something happened to my pc monitor. Either it died or the cables are damaged or something. I don't know I'm not some sort of computer expert don't judge me.
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Jun 18, 2013 03:46
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Bash Ironfist posted:This awful app isn't too bad. Something happened to my pc monitor. Either it died or the cables are damaged or something. I don't know I'm not some sort of computer expert don't judge me. Is it turned on?
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Jun 18, 2013 08:22
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Trauma Tank posted:Is it turned on? Gross dude.
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Jun 18, 2013 12:16
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Bash Ironfist posted:This awful app isn't too bad. Something happened to my pc monitor. Either it died or the cables are damaged or something. I don't know I'm not some sort of computer expert don't judge me. I use it for posting about 80% of the time since I'm always trying to kill a few seconds at a time in between poo poo at work. This is also why my posts rarely exceed two runon sentences or about 50 words.
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Jun 18, 2013 13:58
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syscall girl posted:It's a Simpsons reference. Oh that makes it funny
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Jun 18, 2013 14:38
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Francostein posted:I use it for posting about 80% of the time since I'm always trying to kill a few seconds at a time in between poo poo at work. This is also why my posts rarely exceed two runon sentences or about 50 words. Don't you mean in between shits?
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Jun 18, 2013 15:20
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VanSandman posted:Don't you mean in between shits? No, work is what I do in between posting.
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Jun 18, 2013 15:23
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Francostein posted:No, work is what I do in between posting. So what you're saying is, you work in between shits.
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Jun 18, 2013 16:50
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BAKA FLOCKA FLAME posted:So what you're saying is, you work in between shits. Everything is done in between shits if you look at the world in a certain way.
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Jun 18, 2013 18:48
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Shits aren't. By necessity you would have to have a first and a last.
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Jun 19, 2013 00:12
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I wish I gave more of a poo poo about the poo poo-talking going on in this thread. I know someone who considers his life achievement the time he pooped the perfect letter Q.
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Jun 19, 2013 04:57
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OmniDesol posted:I wish I gave more of a poo poo about the poo poo-talking going on in this thread. Swallowing a refrigerator magnet is pretty impressive, I'll admit.
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Jun 19, 2013 15:07
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OmniDesol posted:I know someone who considers his life achievement the time he pooped the perfect letter Q. Is it President Obama?
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Jun 19, 2013 19:40
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Spiderjelly posted:Is it President Obama? No, but now I wish it was. It's a greasy haired metal guy who works at Staples and will never amount to anything in life. Very different from President Obama.
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Jun 20, 2013 00:06
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Penguingo posted:Shits aren't. By necessity you would have to have a first and a last. You just blew my mind.
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Jun 20, 2013 09:38
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Penguingo posted:Shits aren't. By necessity you would have to have a first and a last. All other shits are between shits, though.
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Jun 20, 2013 14:36
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So it all comes down to the alpha and the omega shits.
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Jun 20, 2013 14:53
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Isn't there often a post-mortem poo poo, too? How does this work into contemporary theories of the afterlife?
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Jun 20, 2013 16:02
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Spiderjelly posted:Isn't there often a post-mortem poo poo, too? How does this work into contemporary theories of the afterlife? "Life's poo poo, and then you die ... and then you poo poo again."
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Jun 20, 2013 16:03
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Stop shitposting, everybody.
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Jun 20, 2013 18:03
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VanSandman posted:So it all comes down to the alpha and the omega shits. I think this is called the Doctrine of Original poo poo. Calvinists believe that this leads us inescapably into a life of total depravity.
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Jun 20, 2013 18:56
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Spiderjelly posted:Isn't there often a post-mortem poo poo, too? How does this work into contemporary theories of the afterlife? Post-mortem poo poo and piss. Your muscles keeping the poop and pee in relax the moment you die, so make sure to go #1 and #2 before dying, okay?
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Jun 21, 2013 01:06
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I feel bad for whoever finds my body. No one should have to witness the horrible things I put in there, especially once they've exited it. I'm currently holding two habanero quarter pounders and orange juice.
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Jun 21, 2013 01:13
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You Are A Elf posted:Post-mortem poo poo and piss. Your muscles keeping the poop and pee in relax the moment you die, so make sure to go #1 and #2 before dying, okay? That's if you can piss through your terminal erection. 
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Jun 21, 2013 06:42
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Dying is gross and weird. I can't understand why anybody does it.
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Jun 21, 2013 07:39
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paragon1 posted:Dying is gross and weird. I can't understand why anybody does it. If you do it right, it's cool. Like anything that doesn't leave behind a body. But slowly rotting away as nurses stuff your hospital-acquired MRSA flesh- eating cancer incisions with gauze and periodically draining the site manually like they're wringing out a wet towel while you don't receive painkillers because you're not expressing any outward pain, despite the fact that your still beating heart means pain receptors are firing, thus making your braindead lifeless body a horrorshow of a pain factory incapable of expressing its overwhelming desire to stop suffering, well that's not very cool at all. (get a DNR signed) (sign dat DNR)
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Jun 21, 2013 08:28
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:(get a DNR signed) Advocating that people just give up and die rather than try and live. I'm sorry A GLISTENING HODOR, but I'm uninviting you from the barbcue party.
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Jun 21, 2013 14:56
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Wouldn't getting blown up in a nuclear blast be the cleanest way to die? That is, if you don't leave your dirty shadow permanently printed on the ground.
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Jun 22, 2013 09:27
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cheerfullydrab posted:Wouldn't getting blown up in a nuclear blast be the cleanest way to die? That is, if you don't leave your dirty shadow permanently printed on the ground. In the event of an impending nuclear blast, I think the natural thing to do is search around for a summer sausage or maybe a rolling pin and then stand near a thick cement wall. That way, future people who tour the blast area won't be so sad about war and man's inhumanity to man when they see a nuclear shadow sporting a massive dong.
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Jun 22, 2013 10:11
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| # ? May 19, 2024 05:56 |
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It would be exactly like that Priapus painting in Pompeii.
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Jun 22, 2013 10:26
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