The Monkey Man posted:

EW closed it because it was based on internet mockery.

The Monkey Man posted:

EW closed it because it was based on internet mockery.

Red Bones posted:

I think the best bit about that horse comic is how many photos of himself he had to take in order to make a stupid comic about him turning into a horse. I'm imagining a one-hour session in front of a camera on a timer as he awkwardly tears off his clothes pose-by-pose and makes agonised expressions.

Kheldragar posted:

When women work out to that extent, it's not considered NWS to show them topless? I honestly can't tell the gender at this point.

horriblePencilist posted:

http://thirdreichconfessions.tumblr.com/

Call Now posted:

quote:

Well, let’s see and compare. Ripping Speer’s uniform and riding his spear and other such sex talk is ultimately objectifying at most and that in a humorous fashion, something based on an erotic fantasy or finding someone physically(or more) attractive. So, it is a positive thing, a compliment if you will. Now, calling Eva Braun a whore is a sexist slur and Eva Braun was not a whore or a bad person anyway, whichever way you take it. But, the most important thing is that I will not have any sexist slurs or direct swear words, racist slurs or aggressive behavior.

platedlizard posted:

Improbable Lobster posted:

I hope that it's a joke aimed at "trans-ethnics" or whatever the term for trans-furries is.

Gorilla Salad posted:

And of course he's driving a Virago Wannabe. Icing on the cake, that part.

LorrdErnie posted:

Trans-fat was originally a joke aimed at trans-ethnics but Tumblr latched onto it as a serious thing. I'm still not convinced that tumblr isn't a really really long troll designed to make people doing actual social justice work look bad.

euphronius posted:

There is no evidence that he rides it. It is probably a posed shot.

euphronius posted:

DO people usually wear sneakers when they ride motorcycles.

Saeku posted:

That "trans-fat" quote is from About Thin Privilege, which appears to be a parody of the popular blog This Is Thin Privilege. Fat activism is awkward and sad.

euphronius posted:

DO people usually wear sneakers when they ride motorcycles.

CroatianAlzheimers posted:

Yes, in fact. More than you could ever imagine. I see people all summer in sneakers, boat shoes, goddamned flip flops, sandals, even loving bare feet. I'm a goddamned gear nazi, but the wife beater-short pants-sneakers-no helmet riding gear ensemnle is like a loving uniform around here.

Christopher Robin posted:

I've seen it used seriously, though. By some blog that had two people running it, both of who were vegan, had "multiple systems" that I'm pretty sure included animals, and were some confusing mix of transgender and bisexual or pansexual or something. They went on a rampage in a Costco putting up "meat is murder" signs or something and when people told them that was stupid, they opted to just blame cis people for it and put up a bunch of "die cis scum" stuff all over the page.

One of them did claim to be trans-fat and said she had a goal weight of about 245 pounds.

I was really really hoping they were just a troll blog but they didn't seem to be I thing they self-diagnosed a bunch of stuff too.

Blackheart posted:

Anyone remember a comic mocking some E/N drama? It was about some antisocial goon (yeah, I know) that goes to a party and tries to talk to a girl he meets, but notices she has a boyfriend so he ends up yelling and generally making a fool of himself. He runs out to the street and I think he tries to fight someone? (failing pathetically too). It's been posted on previous incarnations of this thread, or maybe the defunct PYF SA drama thread.

Buying-Bid posted:

Two days ago (sunday night) I cried myself to sleep. This girl (I will refer to her as Sarah) I have been obsessed with since 3rd grade threw a birthday party on saturday, it was a pretty casual house party, so people brought friends along, of course I was not invited (no girl would ever invite me to a party), but my friend asked me to come along, and of course I jumped at the opportuinity.

Around an hour into the party, it happened that me and Sarah were alone in the kitchen while others danced and talked in the living room. I was there to get a drink, and when I came in and saw her by the fridge, a deep shocking, sinking feeling almost paralysed me with fear, as I just stood there staring at her for about 5 seconds (I am absolutely TERRIFIED of females, especially Sarah, I had no idea she would be in there alone). When she looked at me I quickly glanced away in shame. After about 10 awkward seconds of me staring at the floor and her standing there awkwardly, she finally spoke.

"Uh, hi, you're frank, right?"
"No. Francis."
"Oh, but it's frank for short, right?"
"No."
"Sorry, I must have you confused with someone else."

I couldn't think of anything to say.

"Want a drink?"
"Yeah. Thanks.

She handed me a beer.

"I'M STRAIGHT EDGE!!"

I just tried to tell her I was straight edge (and therefore didn't drink), but I was so nervous when she approached me physically that it came out in what sounded like a confontational shout which totally wasn't what I intended.

"Sorry, uh there's a diet pepsi if you like"
"I don't drink diet soft drinks, they are carginogens."
"Oh.."

I couldn't stand the fear of being near her any more, so I scurried away and (again in that nervous shout) blurted out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" and heard her say "thanks" as I walked back into the living room, up the stairs and into the bathroom where I literally collapsed and started shivering on the floor with fear, tears came from my eyes. After about 5 minutes of just lying there I composed myself and went downstairs again. For the rest of the party I pretty much avoided her and talked with some people I knew.

When me and my friend got back home to my house and played a little PS2 for about half an hour, he left and I said bye. It was at this point I realised he had left his cell phone. As I was about to call him to tell him, it suddenly struck me that he probably had Sarah's number on his phone. I literally sat there for 45 minutes shivering with both anticipation and fear as I saw the number across the screen, begging me to call.

Simple. I'd just call her up, apologise for the awkwardness and ask her if she wanted to get coffee some time. The only problem was this was about the scariest thing imaginable. I felt my body ache with fear as I tried to press the "CALL" button on the cell phone several times but was too scared. I got a disconnecting feeling as if none of this was actually happening to me, like maybe it was all a dream. When I finally got the courage to call, my heart raced as I heard the dial tone.

"Hello?"
"Hey, sorry about earlier, I was just wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee some time ?(WHAT THE gently caress was I thinking??)"
"Sorry, who is this calling?"

I (stupidly) hadn't anticipated she would ask who it was. the question caught me totally off guard. I thought of just saying my name, or giving a fake name, or shouting out "your worst loving nightmare", or avoiding the question, and a host of other ideas over the course of about 5 seconds. I was too stunned to even reply.

Another 5 seconds of silence.

"Are you still there?"
"Yeah...sorry, I.. it's"
"Oh, Francis right?
I was silent again
"Sorry yeah, I - I'm pretty busy lately but maybe- uh I'll call you another time if i get time to go out uh (I could regognize that she had no intention of calling me), what's your number?"
I gave her my number.
"Ok, well bye!"
"Bye."

As I hung up and put the phone down, the realization of what had just happened hit me like a wrecking ball, I collapsed on the sofa and fell asleep with exaustion. About 5 minutes later I get a call.

"Hello?"
A male voice.
"Is this francis?"
"Yeah uh who is this?"
"I'm just calling to give you a friendly warning, stay away from Sarah, okay? She's my girlfriend, and she has no interest in you whatsoever, you're a creep."

The realization and jealousy that she had a boyfriend, coupled with the shock and unexpectedness of this call filled me with rage.

"gently caress YOU YOU MOTHER F-UNCLE FUNK" I stuttered incomprehensibly with rage.
"Man you're hosed up in the head aren't you. I'm WARNING you, stay away."

He hung up.

I literally let out a massive scream of both sadness jealousy anger and fear that gripped my entire body. I went to bed and got about 2 hours of sleep.

The next (sunday) morning, I got up feeling like absolute poo poo. As I always do to when I feel terrible, I force myself to walk outside, go to the mall (5 min walk) where there are lots of people, and buy something or run into someone I know. I couldn't find anyone I knew, so I bought a milkshake and walked out the front enterance, where I saw something that made my heart skip.

Sarah and some guy (probably her boyfriend?) walking into the mall. I saw her glance with shock at me and quickly look away trying to make it seem as if she hadn't noticed me. I rushed towards her.

"SARAH!" I shouted

Her boyfriend turned around with shock and saw me.

"ARE YOU FRANCIS?" he asked angrily.

I stood there staring.

"Get out of here man, we don't want anything to do with you, understand?"

"gently caress YOU, THIS IS A FREE COUNTRY!"

As a rage overcameme me, I rushed forward and threw my milkshake as hard as I possibly could at the bastard, totally missing him and tripping over myself in the process. What happened next was the worst feeling I had ever felt.

Sarah stood there laughing at me. The expression on her beautiful face, half disgust half laughter made me feel terrible like I never imagined I could. I hated her guts at that moment.

"YOU oval office!" I yelled.

Her eyes widened, even her boyfriend looked shocked and the three of us stood there staring for maybe 5 seconds.

"YOU MOTHER loving oval office!!" I yelled as I rushed at her. She made made me feel so terrible it physically hurt in my stomach. I was about to loving attack her. I couldn't believe it. It was like some force was controlling me and like I had no control at all. God loving drat I'm stupid when I'm angry and upset. Before I could reach her, her boyfriend grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me to the ground.

"JUST GET OUT OF HERE YOU loving WEIRDO AND BE THANKFUL I DONT loving KILL YOU!!"

I rushed for him with every ounce of anger and strength in my body and groaned as his fist connected with my tummy, winding and incapacitating me. He stared for a second, as if he hadn't expected me to be so easily beaten, before he and Sarah both ran off in a panic. I knew there was no way I could take him, and that he probably went to go get security. These facts, coupled with my crippling social awkwardness and the fact that people all over were staring at me like some kind of freak caused me to run home, totally defeated, clutching my tummy.

That night I considered suicide. My parents aren't home until next week and I felt an aching loneliness. I never went through with it, but have been left crippled emotionally. I havn't gone to school either today or yesterday. My parents will kill me when they get home. I'm a loving failure of a human being.

horriblePencilist posted:

http://thirdreichconfessions.tumblr.com/

5er posted:

Pain apparently turns you into a were-raccoon with a pastime of rolling your face around in a fly-fisherman's tackle box.

Grope-A-Matic posted:

I believe it was one of the posts turned into a comic in that "Draw your favorite E/N story" thread. Give me a few minutes and I'll find it.

EDIT: Not sure why I thought it was in the comics thread, but found it anyways. No link to the post, unfortunately.


http://www.somethingawful.com/great-goon-database/great-goon-best/8/

EDIT 2: Well drat, I didn't check far enough in the comics thread. Comics for the story start here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3499406&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=26