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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

my dad posted:

Wait, this place is called Chuckling, right? Laugh.

Chuckling was a joking reference to something from the last game. You don't know the name of this place, if it has one.

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100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer

Diogines posted:

You still have your spear.

Your assets might be thought of as your spear, your loin cloth, your necklace, your new flute and if you are a deranged sociopath, a sleeping child and monkey.

Friendship is the greatest asset! :v:

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Are there any boxes around? If there are, I demand we open them.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

There are no boxes, stone, iron or otherwise.

Magissima
Apr 15, 2013

I'd like to introduce you to some of the most special of our rocks and minerals.
Soiled Meat
We're gonna be in the woods for weeks, investigating every last item and forcing the other statue to give us noncommittal answers to stupid questions until he shuts down. Then we'll come out of the woods and it'll turn out months have gone by while we were there and we missed the real adventures.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Diogines posted:

A simple and unadorned cup made of a green material, filled with what may be water.
You decide that...
D. You want to experiment further with the other treasure, specify which.

If you head back to camp now, what do you plan to tell them about the nights activities?

E. Tell the Zepathan men everything. Now they will recognize you as a Hero for sure! You are a bonafide hero and have the treasure to prove it! Bring them back here to get the rest of the treasure! They will be very happy with me!

Right. I want to drink what's in the cup. In terms of taking something that we don't have to hide, filled with what may be water would be an example.

I also don't want to lie. Tudiyah appears to be a human lie detector, and I think we keep our situation by being honest with saying something like "Your son is the first friend I have ever had. He wanted to explore, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship by ratting him out. I have been keeping an eye on him while exploring close to the camp. He followed a ... uh monkey? (is that what it's called) in to some place and I followed to make sure he didn't get hurt. Then explain what happened in there, and beg forgiveness for helping out a friend.

Sojenus
Dec 28, 2008

Balance the fire plate on the statue's head.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
D Lets gently caress around with the winged lizard and the GTFO.

Hide it in Danal's pack.

Also I bet that book is the Necronomicon, we shold grab that for Danal.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




BE

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

SerSpook posted:

The flute is magical though, we know how to play it just by holding it. And, this is just me, I really dig the flute. It's just plain cool, and will serve us well throughout our journeys. We can play it for our supper and so forth, and the sandals will guard our feet. They are likely magical as well.

Yeah, I've gotcha, I personally expect it will be pretty cool, I think they all probably would be, in some way or another, and am sure they're all pretty magical, but, just my way of going about it of course, I don't know that the kid would. I suppose he knows the flute is magical now that he's held it, but is it the type of magic he's likely to be impressed by? And would he go about betting that the sandals are probably magic in some way, or would he be drawn to the obviously magical sourceless flame, or what-have-you?

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Theglavwen posted:

Yeah, I've gotcha, I personally expect it will be pretty cool, I think they all probably would be, in some way or another, and am sure they're all pretty magical, but, just my way of going about it of course, I don't know that the kid would. I suppose he knows the flute is magical now that he's held it, but is it the type of magic he's likely to be impressed by? And would he go about betting that the sandals are probably magic in some way, or would he be drawn to the obviously magical sourceless flame, or what-have-you?

Just throwing it out there but you cant take whatever you want and drink the liquid out of the bowl. Nothing has to be said about the drinking part, probably. I mean, it might be nectar of the gods, people! It probably won't kill us. Yet.

Disargeria
May 6, 2010

All Good Things are Wild and Free!
D. You want to experiment further with the other treasure, specify which.

Wake the lizard.


E. Tell the Zepathan men everything. Now they will recognize you as a Hero for sure! You are a bonafide hero and have the treasure to prove it! Bring them back here to get the rest of the treasure! They will be very happy with me!


If it turns out to be a horrible trap they're probably the best to handle it. I don't think we can lose by telling them.

NinjaPete
Nov 14, 2004

Hail to the speaker,
Hail to the knower,
Joy to him who has understood,
Delight to those who have listened.

- Hávamál
C, E

We need to take the tooth and give it to the Zepathan men. We know that giant fish teeth are evil and scary, we can't leave this one lyng around. Some one could get hurt! And heroes don't let dangerous things just sit around! <:mad:>

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

Diogines posted:

You still have your spear.

Your assets might be thought of as your spear, your loin cloth, your necklace, your new flute and if you are a deranged sociopath, a sleeping child and monkey.

The monkey is worth one art, and Danny is at least worth 2 arts. So monkey + Danny(2 arts) + spear + necklace + loin cloth = 6 arts. Let's leave everything we have and take half the arts. Danny and monkey will be fine.

"Where's my son?"
"No idea, but check out all this great stuff I found!"

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
First off, I vote D, see if the demon statue does anything. I'm in favor of bugging out once that's done, though.

Once we get back, I'm in favor of making a clean breast of things, so E.

HiHo ChiRho posted:

I also don't want to lie. Tudiyah appears to be a human lie detector, and I think we keep our situation by being honest with saying something like "Your son is the first friend I have ever had. He wanted to explore, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship by ratting him out. I have been keeping an eye on him while exploring close to the camp. He followed a ... uh monkey? (is that what it's called) in to some place and I followed to make sure he didn't get hurt. Then explain what happened in there, and beg forgiveness for helping out a friend.

I like the general idea here, but I don't really like the wording. If we're assuming that what we've done is something that requires forgiveness, then this speech as written is basically saying "It was all your son's idea, I was just tagging along because I'm such a good dude." Too much blame-shifting and self-justification here for my tastes. If we're going to assume that we've been doing something we shouldn't have been (and let's be honest, exploring unknown and dangerous woods as a child is not that bright), I'm more in favor of taking responsibility for our actions in general as the older child - "I knew we probably shouldn't have done this, and I knew I could have stopped Danal if I really wanted to, but I didn't stop him and we did it anyways. I'm sorry."

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
I'm voting we trade the spear for either Bow / Book / Sandals.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
You guys are over thinking again. "We wanted to be great heroes like you guys! Did we do something wrong?"

ShadowGlass
Nov 13, 2012

- Take the sandals and put them on right now (leave the spear in exchange). They look like normal sandals, so no hiding required

- K. ask for the clothes to hide the flute


Changed vote in another post

Question: Are the sandals our size at all?

I'm still hoping they magically change size when we put them on even they are not our size now. If that doesn't happen then we don't wear them right now of course.

ShadowGlass fucked around with this message at 10:23 on Aug 14, 2013

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

The sandals are a bit big, but they are not clown shoes. You could probably wear them. They are made of beautiful white leather.

You will likely be noticed wearing them. It would stick out if the wild child suddenly had new, odd looking sandals.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
"All this crazy poo poo is cool and all, but lookit those shoes! Finally I can have my own pair of sandals without having to ask for them!"

Ah well, hopefully they can teleport or something, but we're probably just choosing our future as the world's preeminent cobbler. Or 'that guy who can walk on stuff without hurting his feet really well'. Maybe we'll walk on water.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
I think we may be choosing our character class here guys, flute is bard, dagger-rogue, fire-mage etc. I vote The Bow let's be a ranger.

Rhymenoceros
Nov 16, 2008
Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.
It's pretty obvious the room is some kind of giant venus fly trap. The room is trying its best to make us drop our guard. Sleep, dancing and singing? This doesn't sound safe at all.

The wide variety of objects is probably just a wide variety to appeal to any kind of individual who happens to run by; our life force is probably being drained as we speak.

Globofglob
Jan 14, 2008
Man I've been trying so hard to wait for this to pass by. You have no idea how hard it is for me to not take all the things.

C. Take the statue, Danal, GTFO
F. Don't tell Zepathian men poo poo, we'll get in trouble
K. Get some new clothes, just enough to hide the loot. Turn our loincloth into a kilt!

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
Oh. Tell the Zepathians that we were playing adventures at night, but WE ALWAYS stayed near the campfire so we wouldn't get lost or in danger. Then say that this music lulled us and blah blah blah

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Easiest story is that we are guarding Danal who just ran to this place, which is true.

Maybe the book contains a chapter on proper etiquette when encountering random locations of divine art?

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe

Sogol posted:

Maybe the book contains a chapter on proper etiquette when encountering random locations of divine art?

Considering that the flute granted the ability to play just by picking it up, maybe the book will grant Enkidel literacy? Is Diogines throwing a bone to the bibliophiles still hanging on from the last thread, maybe?

Mexican Deathgasm
Aug 17, 2010

Ramrod XTreme
A Take everything, grab Danal, get the hell out of there. This place seems dangerous as it's lulling us to sleep. Loot the place and run.
E At best, we get to keep the things we found and they're magical treasure that will help us be a great hero. At worst, they take them from us, the items are cursed and kill us and everyone else.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

I don't think the place is a trap, I think the music and compulsions are a defense mechanism to ensure the place stays peaceful and undisturbed.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger

Mexican Deathgasm posted:

A Take everything, grab Danal, get the hell out of there. This place seems dangerous as it's lulling us to sleep. Loot the place and run.
E At best, we get to keep the things we found and they're magical treasure that will help us be a great hero. At worst, they take them from us, the items are cursed and kill us and everyone else.

Well, its not yet lulling is to sleep, which I attribute to our 'one more step' Asherah death march, but who knows.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree

the_steve posted:

I don't think the place is a trap, I think the music and compulsions are a defense mechanism to ensure the place stays peaceful and undisturbed.

On the other hand, if we gave in we'd sleep until we wake up. Which, from my knowledge of fairy tales, could just be for years and years.

ShadowGlass
Nov 13, 2012

- Take the sandals and leave the spear in exchange.

- Try to wake up Denal and have him pick 1 item too

- J. Ask mom for advice. If she says we should tell the others then we do so, if not then she helps hiding stuff


If we can wake up Denal we should really let him pick an item. He is our bestest friend (and he is 5, he might be jealous if he doesn't get anything).

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Next update this evening or tomorrow.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN
Hey Diog. I haven't been in chat for awhile so I'm just popping in to tell you I'm still reading this.

Try to play some funky on our new awesome flute.

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
Wake Danal and Monkey up. Make them help you carry as much treasure as possible. Wake everyone up and tell them all about it. The chance to keep even a fraction of this stuff without having to hide it is worth whatever trouble we might get in to from adventuring without permission.

jazzyhattrick
Jul 1, 2010

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
We should play this on our magic flute. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c_ufaxeSTs

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!



There is only one appropriate flute tune: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTka-Bi7l3A

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Or...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WARRt32BWns

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
Phht, you guys are hacks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcL6C1VTFwI

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Fine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfgd2hZQxjU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_Nqogy_yIQ

Sogol fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Aug 15, 2013

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HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010


Oh hell no. We need hero music. If we take the flute we need to play this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7wio9f8bp4&t=174s

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