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Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

SerSpook posted:

edit: Would it be feasible to find the family of my mother and let them know she lives while I am in Baitel?

"If you wish, of course, but it would not be wise to bring her with you. The journey is long and any such journey has it's dangers. It is not a trip for women."



Your mother has never spoken of her family in Baitel to you, not once.

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Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
Question for ourselves: Have we ever heard about this decline in people's piety? Was there any sense of there being a crisis of faith among the people in Zepath? If our memory says no, then ask Tudiya, "Have you ever explained to people in the city about this decline of humanity? Do they know? If not, why not?"

Also, a joke for Tudiya:
Two hunters are sleeping in the woods. The first hunter asks the other, "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The second hunter says, "I see many stars." The first asks, "And what does that mean?" The second says "That Xuriel loves us and blesses countless stars and many such wonders." The first hunter says, "No, you idiot! Someone stole our tent!"

Ask Tudiya to tell a happy story or joke. Things are too somber.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
Finding Mom's family unprepared = death by assassins, henchmen, ninja squads, lightning, boiling blood, poison, et al.

We are in Witness Protection. I don't why, but we are.

I dunno. This is very serious for Tudiya. He does not know if we will make it back or not. He is doing it consistent with his own offering to El. Serious business for him. He has plans for us and yet off to the wilds with nuthin for a month.

Perhaps we should be more serious rather than Tudiya more frivolous.

Then again... 'Spit in the eye of death" and all.

Ask Tudiya:
"Did you bring anything good to drink?"

Sogol fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Sep 27, 2013

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Anyone know what the hug vote is at?

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
I have not counted since there have been no dissenting voices.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question for ourselves: Have we ever heard about this decline in people's piety? Was there any sense of there being a crisis of faith among the people in Zepath? If our memory says no, then ask Tudiya, "Have you ever explained to people in the city about this decline of humanity? Do they know? If not, why not?"

Also, a joke for Tudiya:
Two hunters are sleeping in the woods. The first hunter asks the other, "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The second hunter says, "I see many stars." The first asks, "And what does that mean?" The second says "That Xuriel loves us and blesses countless stars and many such wonders." The first hunter says, "No, you idiot! Someone stole our tent!"

Ask Tudiya to tell a happy story or joke. Things are too somber.

Yeah do this, also ask about good drinks.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
Seems like we should spend more time with our mother, you horrible jerks

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Lanky Coconut Tree posted:

Seems like we should spend more time with our mother, you horrible jerks

Yup. Now that we know the basics of killing things and these basics will serve us well in the bush, I plan on voting for spending time with Jalitha more often.

Gonna learn how to cook.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose

SerSpook posted:

Yeah do this, also ask about good drinks.

It's difficult to come up with a non-anachronistic joke.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question for ourselves: Have we ever heard about this decline in people's piety? Was there any sense of there being a crisis of faith among the people in Zepath? If our memory says no, then ask Tudiya, "Have you ever explained to people in the city about this decline of humanity? Do they know? If not, why not?"
You have never heard of this before. "A father tells his son and the son does not believe, does he even tell his son? They see the Mighty Men of their city do wonders, ignoring the danger which lay beyond. You will not forget."


Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Also, a joke for Tudiya:
Two hunters are sleeping in the woods. The first hunter asks the other, "Look up at the sky and tell me what you see." The second hunter says, "I see many stars." The first asks, "And what does that mean?" The second says "That Xuriel loves us and blesses countless stars and many such wonders." The first hunter says, "No, you idiot! Someone stole our tent!"
Tudiya lets out a small chortle, then looks somberly at the fire again.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords

Diogines posted:

You have never heard of this before. "A father tells his son and the son does not believe, does he even tell his son? They see the Mighty Men of their city do wonders, ignoring the danger which lay beyond. You will not forget."

drat straight we won't. We have felt the demons and seen their power. Maybe the solution is to take more of the men for journeys through the wilderness so they don't forget either. Maybe feed a few to fish gods. Just to keep the others in line.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
Question for ourselves: Does our religion explain where demons came from, what they are?


Not a question or statement: I can understand that a man is not a man unless he overcomes challenges, but being devoured by demons seems harsh. The people in these demon farms are helpless and will never know El. We need to save these people.

That could be our sacrifice to El. A promise to spread his name and to save men from savagery and demons. I don't advocate for raiding demon farms with our current abilities. Or we could just carve praise to El on a big rock and dump that in the temple.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question for ourselves: Does our religion explain where demons came from, what they are?


Not a question or statement: I can understand that a man is not a man unless he overcomes challenges, but being devoured by demons seems harsh. The people in these demon farms are helpless and will never know El. We need to save these people.

That could be our sacrifice to El. A promise to spread his name and to save men from savagery and demons. I don't advocate for raiding demon farms with our current abilities. Or we could just carve praise to El on a big rock and dump that in the temple.

I like this sacrifice to El. Perhaps we can carve that onto the rock, our promise.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
So we're becoming a dual-class Ranger Cleric, then?

Hmm. This could work. If our faith in doing the work of El increases to the point where we can shoot arrows of light, we won't have to worry about running out of arrows!

Ask Tudiya: How powerful is Quetzl? How far from Zepath? Could it be defeated, destroyed forever? How many men would we have to raise to lead an expedition against it?

Secret Plan is to kill this one to get experience for the liberation of our village.

RandomPauI
Nov 24, 2006


Grimey Drawer
Ask Tudiya: What should I do if I come across other people during this test?

WhiteOutMouse
Jul 29, 2010

:wom: will blow your mind.
Ask Tudiya if mighty men have ever gone to war versus another.

We know cities fight sometimes and other cities have mighty men. That seems like it would be quite the sight.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

RandomPauI posted:

Ask Tudiya: What should I do if I come across other people during this test?

The most socially awkward hero.

spacetimecontinuu
Dec 31, 2004

Basscop posted:

The most socially awkward hero.

Basscorb you are such a pessimistic fish. We want more fish art.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

spacetimecontinuu posted:

Basscorb you are such a pessimistic fish. We want more fish art.

Oh yeah you want art? Ok here's a poem i wrote to my wife:

I call it. As the waves of time pass.

Blrb bl brblrub bllrbr
Blrrbblob brllbbl bllebrbl
blrbrl rlblrbbrlrbrrlleob
blrb

rlbbbrlr lrbrlobrab
rlbbbrlr lrbrllrob
rlbbbrlr lrbrllbrrl

brllrrbob brl blrrb lbreb
abrlrb blrrbrlb blrrb brl
blrrbl rbrlbrabl brlbo

Brlrbr bl brlablrl


I wrote it in fish tho so you might not undestand

spacetimecontinuu
Dec 31, 2004
Wow a fish writing about waves no way :rolleyes:

Crudus
Nov 14, 2006

Some of these questions are so OOC and metagamey that I'm glad Dio has the good grace to keep glossing over them instead of having Tudiya facepalm every other minute at the sperg he reared.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

Question for ourselves: Does our religion explain where demons came from, what they are?
Any information you have on this, see in the thread. Beyond that, no.


Imperialist Dog posted:

Ask Tudiya: How powerful is Quetzl? How far from Zepath? Could it be defeated, destroyed forever? How many men would we have to raise to lead an expedition against it?
"Strong enough. The beast lay someplace east, and to the south. South of the grasslands of the Kadmonim and further east, deep in the mountains."


WhiteOutMouse posted:

Ask Tudiya if mighty men have ever gone to war versus another.

We know cities fight sometimes and other cities have mighty men. That seems like it would be quite the sight.
"Of course. There are Mighty Men in each city and when they make war, as they sometimes do, they lead other men."





Eventually, you and Tudiya lay down the night. You are awoken by the rays of the sun and continue your way.





It is summer now and as you know, the land around Zepath is arid, but far from a desert. Patches of scrubby bushes can be found easily enough and small trees can be found in small and scraggly forests atop the hills which dot the land. As you go, Tudiya points out a few landmarks, that you can help find your way home when your trial is completed. It is summer now and, it is hot.





Tudiya has brought food for both of you in the sack, the food are plain, boring and tasteless biscuists and a few jugs of water. Before you ask why the King brought such tasteless food, but perhaps as you consider it, he volunteers "To harden you for the trial ahead." When you run out of water after three days, Tudiya smashes his hand on the side of a boulder, water gushes from it and he refills the jugs.

After a full week, you crest a hill and look down into the land before you.





It is parched and desolate. Tudiya faces you and places his hands on your shoulders. "I shall see you in a month. I will be waiting for you at home. Return with an offering worthy of El or do not return at all. May Smatass and all of the Ophanim watch over you."

1. As Tudiya walks away, do you say anything? If so, fill in.


Snarls Barkley makes a sad whine and looks up at you with concern.

2. Snarls Barkley is afraid! Do you say anything to steady him? Fill in.


Your possessions in the world, at this time:

1. Snarl's Barkley - Though this is debatable, as you may in fact belong to him.

2. Your sandals, made of leather, which allow you to walk without tiring but do not, as best as you can tell, have any other supernatural properties.

3. Your clothing, consisting of a wool garment which covers most of your body and your belt which is a leather strap. Your garment looks roughly as this:



You have nothing else. You had breakfast at sunrise and Tudiya has been kind enough to give you some water to drink during the course of the day, you drank it, you have no more water and no food.


It is about noon. As you recall, the more tropical forests in which you once lived are about two weeks south of you and even then, another two months on foot till Athar. Through a tropical jungle in which you encountered monsters several times. The sea is probably at least a week west, but it is tough to tell. You have not passed any trees in two days.


3. You are in an arid scrubland in the middle of nowhere. What is your first priority?
A. Finding food.
B. Finding water.
C. Finding shelter.
D. Finding or making a weapon
E. Making tools

Your wilderness survival skills are fairly limited. We will get into more details of each, depending on the outcome, we will have a second update this afternoon or in the evening, when we get enough votes.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Sep 27, 2013

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
1. "I'll see you in a month".


2. "Follow the king, boy".

3B. Finding water.

Enkidel normally subsists on seven meals a day, but water probably still is much more important to him. You can go without food for two weeks, but you can't go that long without water.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!
1: "Take a good look at me before you leave, my king. The next time you see me you will see a man."

2: "Be brave"

3B. Water first and foremost.
If we find water quickly then we could even have time to make crude tools before we need to look for food.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
1 "Goodbye for now, and thank you."

2 "We'll be out in the wilderness for a month, hunting down food and conquering the land. Isn't that a dog's idea of paradise?"

3 B Water's okay for today but if we don't track a source down we will be screwed. The other things can come later.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose
1. "Don't be so glum. You need to drink with Ishamal more."
2. Hug Snarls.
3. Find water.

Hopefully Tudiya's advice on finding water helps. And if we find water, we can then probably find food. Animals need to drink water too.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
1: "Will... will you pray with me before you go?"

Zybourne Clock posted:

2. "Follow the king, boy".

3B. Finding water.

We should make a big show of punching rocks and trying to drink from them before Tudiya gets out of visual range, too.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
1. "Tell Danal ... and Naomi that I'll see them in a month."

2. "Don't worry, boy! This will be tough, but we can do it!"

3. I assume it's late morning, so let's find some shelter; maybe shade under a rock outcropping. We can conserve water that way. We can go look for water when it cools off, using the advice Tudiya gave us about plants.

Imperialist Dog fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Sep 27, 2013

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
Question: The water we have, did we drink it before Tudiya left or did he leave us a container? How big is it? What is it made of? Should be in the inventory because that's kinda important!

Basscop posted:

1: "Take a good look at me before you leave, my king. The next time you see me you will see a man."

2: "Be brave"

3B. Water first and foremost.
If we find water quickly then we could even have time to make crude tools before we need to look for food.
This sounds good. But we need shelter too. So if we see any trees or anything we should make note of them.

We need all those things and we have Gnarls so we can multitask a bit. Our first priorites should water, shelter and getting out of the sun, establish a temporary base to fill out our kit before we start travelling. We can look for a good hefty stick along the way to use as club until we find something better. Even a palm-sized rock is better than nothing.

In the short-medium term we at least need:
Portable shelter
Portable food and water that will last several days, so we're gonna need to at least figure out some kind of backpack and more water containers
A weapon.
An initial fire and ways to start fire in case we need it. Fire can be transported though so if we can find some kind of jar we'll be better off and won't have to work so hard every time we need some fire.

I'm excited about this! I hope we spend some time on just getting out poo poo together before we actually get into adventuring stuff.

100 HOGS AGREE fucked around with this message at 16:41 on Sep 27, 2013

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Basscop posted:

1: "Take a good look at me before you leave, my king. The next time you see me you will see a man."

2: "Be brave"

3B. Water first and foremost.
If we find water quickly then we could even have time to make crude tools before we need to look for food.

Voting for this.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
1.- "Thank you for this honor Tudiya. Please tell Danal to stay out of trouble and reassure my Mother who will worry."

2.- I would like to give Snarls a choice. Kneel down and look him in the eye.

"Snarls, this is something I must do, but it is not something you must do. You have proved yourself again and again everyday. If you stay I will do my best to keep you alive, but I cannot promise this since I do not know even for myself. I would feel just as proud of you if you return with the King and watch over Danal until I return with an offering to El. I would be greatly comforted to know that you were safe and Danal had someone to watch over him. It is up to you, but I do not ask that you stay and will be at peace if you go."

3.- B water first.

I will start a count for #3.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

100 HOGS AGREE posted:

Question: The water we have, did we drink it before Tudiya left or did he leave us a container? How big is it? What is it made of? Should be in the inventory because that's kinda important!

You have no water and no water container.

Tudiya gave you water to drink over the course of the day. You drank it. Edited to make this more clear.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Sep 27, 2013

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

1. Pray for Snarls and I while we're gone in the name of El.

2. Snarls, are you sure you want to be here? You're the best dog and I love ya, but if you want to leave with the King now you can.

3. B. Water

my dad
Oct 17, 2012

this shall be humorous
Since we have no water, look for water.

Mud should help us deal with the heat.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer

Diogines posted:

You have no water and no water container.

Tudiya gave you water to drink over the course of the day. You drank it. Edited to make this more clear.
So we're sated/quenched for now but we won't be for too long. Ok.

We need containers, we can't be drinking out of puddles for too long, we need to be able to transport poo poo.

Everyone go watch some Survivorman and GET PUMPED.

100 HOGS AGREE fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Sep 27, 2013

WhiteOutMouse
Jul 29, 2010

:wom: will blow your mind.
Let us think deeply about this guys.

Ok, I googled it.

http://news.discovery.com/adventure/survival/desert-survival-8-simple-tips-that-could-save-your-life.htm

quote:

Here are 8 simple tips for surviving in the desert:

1. Keep a lid on it
*If the top of your head is exposed to the direct sun, or even indirect sun for long periods, your body needs to work hard to keep itself cool, so the first rule in desert travel is covering up. If you’re caught without a hat, use another article of clothing to wrap your head in, or if your skills are up to it, fashion a ‘hat’ out of appropriate materials at hand.

2. Get under cover
*Finding shade or constructing a shade shelter is one of the first priorities for desert survival, as keeping out of the direct sun and not exerting yourself in the heat of the day will help to conserve water. The immediate need will be for some temporary shade, and then when the sun starts to go down, you can construct a better shelter.

3. Don’t drink the water
*Actually, do drink the water, if you have it. Just don’t guzzle it all at the first sign of thirst. Assess your dehydration by the color of your urine – if it’s light-colored, you’re probably OK, but if it it’s dark, you need to drink some water. If you do come across water in the desert, use extreme caution before you start gulping it down – it may not be potable, and if it’s contaminated, you’ll squander what meager water your body has stored the first time you vomit or have diarrhea.

4. Stay hungry
The more you eat, the thirstier you’ll get, so if you have food with you, take care to only nibble enough to keep the hunger pains away and your energy up. (I think we will be fine here, based on past experiences)

5. Keep your cool
Panic is one of the most dangerous parts of any survival situation, so if you’re able to calmly assess your predicament and work out your next steps, you’ll be able to head off a wild rush to get out of wherever you are (and possibly into a much worse situation).

6. Make your mark
*Before moving, take a sighting on a distant object in the direction you’re traveling, and use that landmark to keep you on track. Leave small rock cairns or arrows on the ground at intervals*

7. Keep your mouth shut
*Move slowly, try not to break a sweat, and keep your mouth closed to slow the rate of dehydration from your breathing. Covering your mouth with a bandanna or a piece of clothing will also help to slow the water loss.

8. Hunker down
*Shelter and warmth will go a long way toward keeping your energy and spirits up in the desert wilderness, so finding a cozy spot to hunker down before it gets cold is almost as important as finding a shady spot during the day.

So I vote we go Cornholio and find a temporary shelter.

WhiteOutMouse fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Sep 27, 2013

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
It was not on the options list, but perhaps after Tudiya departs the first thing is to pray. Then whatever wins from the list.

I also have a crazy idea. I suggest we start saying the name of El all the time to ourselves with our heartbeat in so far as we are able. When we notice we have slipped or become distracted by tasks at hand, simply return to the practice.

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Basscop posted:

1: "Take a good look at me before you leave, my king. The next time you see me you will see a man."

2: "Be brave"

3B. Water first and foremost.
If we find water quickly then we could even have time to make crude tools before we need to look for food.

I want to change my 3 vote.
Since we have water for the day we should start by fashioning a hat using the surrounding vegetation.
This shouldn't take much more than an hour. After that it's B

edit: oh we already drank our water. gently caress it lets make a hat first.

Basscop fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Sep 27, 2013

Nettle Soup
Jan 30, 2010

Oh, and Jones was there too.

Say to Snarls: "Look for Water, boy." He has a better nose than us!

B: Find water, we can then find shelter near the water.

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Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com
:roboluv: :love: :roboluv:
That looks like Atriplex shrubland (also known as saltbush).

We need to get water, but also we need to not exert ourselves in the heat of the day. We could conceivably survive the month without food, but in hot heat (like 35-40C) we'd be lucky to last much more than 48 hours if we exert ourselves. We can probably last a few days of sitting the the shade, but since there isn't any I'm going with B.

Our hair and tan should keep us sheltered from the sun, and Snarls can help keep us warm at night.

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