Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens - Choose Your Own Adventure

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Sogol: Apr 11, 2013; Galileo's Finger

I was just responding to him in kind. Lightning bolts may ensue for all I know.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:12

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:26

Hot Dog Day 80: Jun 23, 2003

Sogol posted:

D

Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories. The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price.

I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?

And yes on word touching whenever that happens next.

going with this!

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:17

Disargeria: May 6, 2010; All Good Things are Wild and Free!

Voting for plan Sogol

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:20

jng2058: Jul 17, 2010; We have the tools, we have the talent!

Sogol's "Hey, it's Azzazel!" Plan

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:20

Wentley: Feb 7, 2012

Sogol posted:

D

Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories. The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price.

I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?

And yes on word touching whenever that happens next.

I like Sogol's plan. It has moxie.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:24

JT Jag: Aug 30, 2009; #1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

Tomn posted:

Good call, I missed that one.

I have to admit that I find it amusing that the goon reaction to "I want your dog" is to try and fast-talk a semi-divine being. I'm not sure that this will work as well as you guys think it will. I also don't think any "Snarls is his own person" angle is going to fly, either - the goat is its own person as well, isn't it?

Snarls may literally qualify as sentient. Most goats don't.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:27

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Sogol posted:

D

Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories. The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price.

I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?

And yes on word touching whenever that happens next.

This is hilarious. DO EEET

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:30

Absum: May 28, 2013

Don't touch the words, I'd like to ask Ishamal or Tudiya about it first, preferrably Ishamal.

I'm voting C as I dont know what to do.
Apart from that I'd still like to ask this guy what a/the Sentiment is.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:43

BoneMonkey: Jul 25, 2008; I am happy for you.

Do Sogals plan.

Also touch the words.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:49

the_steve: Nov 9, 2005; We're always hiring!

1. Yes - Touch the words
2. Sogol +1

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:51

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

The other action we can try if Sogol's words fails is that Snarls and Enkidel are a joint package. If Azzazel wants our dog he has to take us as well.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:58

Theglavwen: Jun 10, 2006; Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

Sogol posted:

D

Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories. The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price.

I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?

And yes on word touching whenever that happens next.

Hah, hell, why not, I think you hit it straight on the head. Plan Sogol.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 22:59

Basscop: Jun 4, 2010; Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!

Looks like a landslide vote. I'd like to see him respond if we offer to go fetch him a goat instead of him taking Snarls.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 23:30

Wentley: Feb 7, 2012

I forgot to add: Plan word touch is go!

# ? Sep 28, 2013 23:46

Vagon: Oct 22, 2005; Teehee!

Touch them words, boy.

And plan Sogol is a glorious one.

# ? Sep 28, 2013 23:50

Deadmeat5150: Nov 21, 2005; OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN

Kill the figure using your own badass bare hand and eat his heart.

Otherwise go with Plan Sogol.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 00:41

dyzzy: Dec 22, 2009; argh

Sogol posted:

D

Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories. The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price.

I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?

And yes on word touching whenever that happens next.

Good catch! Voting this

# ? Sep 29, 2013 00:52

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Let me bring up some history:

Diogines posted:

A statue made of all of the other materials about a foot and a half tall. It appears to be a seated human shaped figure with a human face and wings like a bird. You have never seen a statue so shockingly realistic before, having only seen simple idols in your village. If you did not know better, you could swear it was sleeping and snoring gently. Do you know better? The left half of the statue is incomplete and is still a block of stone. On closer inspection, the chest of the statue is rising and lowering gently.

Do you have a maker? Has he made art before and left it in the forest south of here? I only ask because this is not the first time I have met someone in your likeness before, albeit a small half finished statue that could speak.

Diogines posted:

"A [???]". It makes a sound and it's lips move but the sound is pure gibberish. You don't know whatever that word it just used, is.

"How do I know what I know?" It pauses for a moment as if thinking then says "I know the color orange and how to speak and what a flower is and what a plant is and what rain is and I know what a bee is and I know what a fly is and I know what a..."

With a perfectly serene smile it continues to list countless small mundane facts, in this manner, till you interrupt it.

Diog: Do we recollect the general sounds to say [???]? If so I want to ask this guy what it means.

The bolded are additional questions to my vote.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 01:19

Obtuse Angol: Apr 28, 2010

This guy has the worst customer service skills.

Plan Sogol sounds good, as long as we're not serious about him owing us. He seems whimsical enough, but would probably take offense if we actually imply any sort of obligation on his part.

(touch the words)

# ? Sep 29, 2013 01:32

Deadly Ham Sandwich: Aug 19, 2009; Smellrose

I don't like this guy. Voting to punch him in the groin and still his robes.

Eat the words. Or touch them.

edit: Changing vote. Voting to tell the guy "I am already regreting not smashing your head in with a rock."

Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Sep 29, 2013

# ? Sep 29, 2013 02:01

Kira Akashiya: Feb 2, 2013

No, you can't have my dog!

# ? Sep 29, 2013 02:41

Vavrek: Mar 2, 2013; I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Touching words? Yes, touch some words. I always assumed it was a figure of speech from Diog. I support the notion of trying it out.

As for this dude, I don't yet recognize him, but he is not getting Snarls.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 02:48

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

Plan Sogol
Touch the words

"It appears that retroactively you owe us a herd of goats. However, I might be tempted to forgive the debt if you answer a few of my questions, Az!"

# ? Sep 29, 2013 02:52

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

I like Sogol's moxie.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 04:11

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

You aren't getting my dog, buddy.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 04:26

Lanky Coconut Tree: Apr 7, 2011; An angry tree.

The angriest tree

Plan Sogol! With rules lawyering thrown in if possible. Let's use what we learned from Tudiya to our advantage.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 04:29

SerSpook: Feb 13, 2012

I'm telling you, it's Denziroh. He's even drinking wine!

But no, plan Sogol.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 06:25

Ralith: Jan 12, 2011; I see a ship in the harbor
I can and shall obey
But if it wasn't for your misfortune
I'd be a heavenly person today

Tomn posted:

Good call, I missed that one.

I have to admit that I find it amusing that the goon reaction to "I want your dog" is to try and fast-talk a semi-divine being. I'm not sure that this will work as well as you guys think it will. I also don't think any "Snarls is his own person" angle is going to fly, either - the goat is its own person as well, isn't it?

Changing my vote!

"Who am I?"

I think I remember now that you reminded me - you're Azzazel who aided Labras, right?

"Gimmie yer doggie!"

Unfortunately, while I remember who you are and some of what you did, I don't seem to remember anything about this deal you mention. Could I trouble you to refresh my memory? And what do you plan to do with Snarls?

Let's just keep it simple and pump for information instead of trying any fancy tricks until we know exactly what we're up against here.

Voting this, plus touch the words.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 09:23

Crudus: Nov 14, 2006

Azazel considers your response carefully, a bemused look on his face. Finally, he takes another long sip from his goblet of wine, points his nose skyward and says, "A good point. Very well, then."

Turning his attention suddenly to the large mutt sitting anxiously by your side, he speaks again. "How about you? Who's a good doggy? This human should complete the transaction. Even though his beard suggests it, he's no goat, but he's got a good smell of sentiment on him. Who's a good boy?"

Snarls tilts his head to the side, suggesting confusion, but you know him well enough to see that his eyes are active, considering...

"Ruff." A decisive nod. Something like a wicked grin spreads across his drooly jowls. Before your heart has had time to process all the feelings of hurt and betrayal, it has been ripped from your chest and devoured in a single bite by the cackling Azazel.

***

Snarls goes on to father the dogmen, a heroic bloodline whose legacy exceeds that of humanity many times over.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 09:40

WhiteOutMouse: Jul 29, 2010; will blow your mind.

I agree with others that the words are probably not floating out of his mouth in impact bold 3D font. I understood it as a feeling of heft to his words. Something obviously divine or supernatural about the speech.

But sure, touch the words. I have a feeling we will just look like a weirdo pawing at open air.

WhiteOutMouse fucked around with this message at 09:45 on Sep 29, 2013

# ? Sep 29, 2013 09:43

SerSpook: Feb 13, 2012

So what specifically did Azazel do for Labaras back in the day? Do we have any idea, beyond doing something?

eta: Also touch all the words obviously.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 10:00

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

SerSpook posted:

So what specifically did Azazel do for Labaras back in the day? Do we have any idea, beyond doing something?

eta: Also touch all the words obviously.

All of the information you have about Azzazel comes from one line in a story which mentions him in passing.

You look up at the figure. "Ha! You are Azzazel are you not? I have heard of you in stories."

The thirteen foot tall Azzazel bows his head with a grin "Guilty as charged."

"The dog, Snarls, is his own being and my friend, rather than a possession. Perhaps if he were a goat it would be different, but he is not to be given like trinket or bride price" you say.

Azzazel frowns.

You go on. "I believe that I just saved you at the risk of my own life and my friend's. Granted you apparently did not need saving, but we did not know that. I think you owe us a goat, but I am willing to negotiate. It is unclear what exactly I am negotiating for though. Perhaps you could explain that a bit? Do you have clay and a stylus so we can record any contract?"

"The AUDACITY!" he says "The IMPUDENCE! The unabated NERVE! You have come to my land, mine, mine since the Beginning and think to haggle with ME! And you would put it into clay as if I would break my bond like some mud dwelling manimal! RIDICULOUS! PREPOSTEROUS!" Azzazel sighs "Fine, fine fine fine"

He reaches down with one hand into the ground and pulls up a wad of clay, he raises a hand up and throws it back onto the ground, it sprouts up like a strange and quickly growing plant and grows into a table made of a bizzare white and gray stone like material with the texture of tree bark, a chair fit for an occupant 13 feet tall appears on his side, he sits and a tablet sprouts from the surface of the table, as well as a clay stylus. The strange material of which the table is made is impossible to mistake, the structure you found in the forest five years ago was built of it as well.

A chair is on your side, of more man sized proportions, though you would have to scramble up the chair to get to it, it looks rather like a very tall stool.

Snarls has moved behind you, his tail tucked between his legs and his head down.

"We will make a contract of it then" Azzazel says, looking down on you from his side of the table. "I have claimed this place and it is mine. Even if I do not send away the waters, plants and the beasts of the field, you will probably die anyway, so sad, so tragic. Yet I am here, a great and generous soul, to rescue poor schlubs like you! Give me the dog and I will dine and feast you till you make your away from the wilds, you will have the finest food and drink and the Xephanim will sing you praises. Give me the dog and all of this shall be yours."

And your response, is?

It is now open season on questions, which you can fire at him in rapid-fire fashion, similar to other personages, it won't seem odd that you ask him multiple questions in a row. Ask him what you would, but there are many questions he may not necessarily answer. Anyone can ask for information, if you want to say a declarative statement, I will wait a bit to see if other people want to say it also, or something similar.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Sep 29, 2013

# ? Sep 29, 2013 13:56

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

~~Is Azazel a servant of El?~~

Oops, already answered.

RandomPauI fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Sep 29, 2013

# ? Sep 29, 2013 13:58

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Do you like my sandals?

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:02

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

my dad posted:

Do you like my sandals?

Azzazel peers down at your feet "Ooooooooh!" he says in delight "now WHERE did you get those? Those should not be in circulation, you know! Not among you manimals at all..."

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:04

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

Question: Are you a Melachim?

Giving him the sandals might be a better idea than mine.

"If you point me towards the nearest herd of wild animals such as goats I will bring you back a suitable offering. If I fail to do so my life and my life alone is forfeit"

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:08

Slaan: Mar 16, 2009; ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH

I got a flute at the same place. Got any info on that?

Also, how about Snarl's first born instead?

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:08

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Diogines posted:

Azzazel peers down at your feet "Ooooooooh!" he says in delight "now WHERE did you get those? Those should not be in circulation, you know! Not among you manimals at all..."

Tsk, tsk, tsk, you disappoint me, Zaz. That's not how the game is played. First you tell me what you intend to do with Snarls.

edit: I hope I know what I'm doing. :ohdear:

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:09

Diogines: Dec 22, 2007; Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

my dad posted:

Tsk, tsk, tsk, you disappoint me, Zaz. That's not how the game is played. First you tell me what you intend to do with Snarls.

"Dispose of him, of course. What do you need that mangey mutt following you around for anyway? As a generous token, I will even throw in a fine jewel encrusted robe!"

Slaan posted:

Also, how about Snarl's first born instead?

"No, you don't even have them yet and you don't love them. I want the dog."

RandomPauI posted:

"If you point me towards the nearest herd of wild animals such as goats I will bring you back a suitable offering. If I fail to do so my life and my life alone is forfeit"

"Those are just goats, but not THE goat! You have no feelings for them, no sentiment. I want THIS dog! Unless you have another cherished pet around, but you seem to have only brought the one. Why else did you bring him, if not as an offering to me? You should be THANKFUL! I don't even LIKE dogs! Dirty, filthy things! Now a goat, there is a noble beast! Clean, friendly, loyal till the end and you can make a fine lunch out of one of it's haunches! And dogs taste terrible! You should be grateful I will take him at all!"

Anyone can ask for information, if you want to say a declarative statement, I will wait a bit to see if other people want to say it also, or something similar.

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:15

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:26

RandomPauI: Nov 24, 2006; Grimey Drawer

Question May I offer you my sandals instead?

# ? Sep 29, 2013 14:21

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