Cordyceps Headache posted:

325 and 5'2? That woman is more than a foot shorter than me and loving like 40 pounds heavier, and I'm not even at my optimum weight. Jesus, how does that even happen. I can't fathom having that much body fat, it world seriously restrict mobility, wouldn't it?

particle409 posted:

Nenonen posted:

Was the question "do you enjoy gangrene"?

Haskell9 posted:

Bro Nerd Alpha posted:

Judging from the time on the photo and how red her finger is, I'm assuming it took that long to get it on.

Shoe of all Cosmos posted:

This is a huge wall of text and I can put it in its own thread if anyone thinks it'd be better.

This story about the anime store is absolutely true to the best of my knowledge, and in spots where I'm not sure or am speculating, I'll say so. The people are renamed for their protection. The owner himself doesn't actually deserve protection or sympathy, but the people around him would be hurt if I published his name here.

The store: Anime Dump
The owner: Francis
His girlfriend: Diamond
Landlord: Jeb
Assistant Manager: James
Store Manager (me): Maria
Other Store Manager of trading cards: Ben
Volunteer/employee hybrid: Juan
There are two additional people I didn't know by name, so they are Old Lady and UFO Guy.

I'll preface this by explaining why the gently caress I was managing such a shithole anime store under a mentally stunted owner. In the beginning, December 2012, the owner Francis offered me the position because his previous store manager “did nothing for three days so I fired her” which we later found out is complete bullshit because she was sick and still came to work and just sat down instead of standing. Francis is a lying twisted rear end in a top hat and that girl was really nice to me and obviously had her poo poo together when I finally met her in October 2013. Also, Francis never once fired anyone himself, ever, because he sent his girlfriend Diamond to do it because he was too chicken. He always sent Diamond to do his dirty work of talking to employees, even though Diamond had severe legitimate Asperger's and struggled to communicate. He was extremely abusive to her, but that's another volume entirely.

So Francis offered me the position, and I accepted for $8 an hour because it was “all he could afford”, and it was my job to keep the store growing so we could put more money into payroll. Since Francis had recently made the transition from a mall kiosk into a full-fledged strip mall outside, I believed him. He didn't reveal that he was only able to afford the move into a big storefront because he convinced Diamond to quit her career as a cell biologist and cash out her 401k. The move was absolutely not due to growth, and he lied to me about it. So for the next five months, I did everything you're supposed to do to grow a business, and Francis undid all of it.

There are four months between this preface and the story here about the sixteen tons of yaoi manga. This happened in May, and by this time I and my ASM James were sick of Francis's bullshit and were just trying to keep the store afloat while he blew all the money that came in on God knows what. The store's income always mysteriously disappeared, and even with bringing in $30,000 per month, there was never enough when we asked for payroll or supplies. Francis would just...Francis away the money. It's famous around the people who visit Anime Dump as the “million dollar question”: Where does all the money go? The store looks and smells like poo poo and the merchandise is old and damaged, and Francis dresses like a homeless person and hasn't had a haircut in probably ten years. Nobody knows. Speculation has ranged from drugs to scammers to syphoning all the money to his other girlfriend in Minnesota who has Lyme Disease. (The other girlfriend is real and does have Lyme Disease, I researched.) The scam idea has weight because Francis once lost thousands of dollars (he wouldn't tell me the exact amount) to a con man who took control of his money and physically locked it up in his house, and wouldn't give it back without keeping an absurdly high percentage.

With Francis not having any money, ever, no matter what James and Ben and I did to increase sales, Francis was always looking out for “great deals” on merchandise he could flip. Except Francis was loving horrible at determining what kind of merchandise sells and what does not. Francis dropped hundreds of dollars on things like Star Trek porcelain plates, gross Disney Baby bobbleheads, old dusty ugly anime figures from obscure shows nobody has heard of, and a big box full of Soul Eater pencils. Like not even different characters, just all the same red Soul Eater pencil. So when Francis saw that a manga publishing company was selling their California warehouse's contents for 40 cents per book, he jumped on it. This was yaoi manga (gay porn comic books) for 40 cents wholesale with a retail price of up to twenty dollars. Sounds a little too good to be true, right? Yaoi is an extremely niche market, like so tiny that only very specific 15-year-old girls ever buy it, and in limited amounts. Yaoi is an almost dead industry in America. This manga publisher was panic selling their warehouse and Francis couldn't put two and two together.

One day Francis told me he was taking two freight trucks and a cargo van across the United States from Texas to California to go pick up some books he bought. He came up next to me behind the register and clicked to a Craigslist post on the computer, a white Mercedes van meant for heavy loads. They were asking $10,000 for it and Francis offered them the $6000 he had from selling his car recently. They accepted the offer and instructed him to pay the $6000 and they'd have the car delivered to Anime Dump so he could inspect it and accept the deal or not. Scam scam scam scam scammy scam scam. Craigslist even has a giant warning at the bottom of every listing page that says “ONLY DEAL LOCALLY AND BEWARE OF SCAMMERS”.

I took one look at the listing and said “Francis that's a scam.” He just looked at me in his loving gross rear end unwashed frog hat that he always wore every single day. I explained “They were asking $10,000 for a van that they're going to deliver from some other city, and they actually took your offer of almost half that.”

Francis said, word-for-word because this is burned into my memory, “Yeah it's a great deal, isn't it?” I just loving looked at him. Later that night I called him and sat on my living room floor literally yelling into my phone for him to pull out on the deal. This was the beginning of me losing my poo poo and actually screaming at Francis whenever he did something stupid. I didn't have a lot of interest in rescuing Francis from his own idiocy, but I did have interest in keeping the store afloat so I and my seven employees could get paid.

Francis never told anyone if he got his money back. Later that week, he rented two trucks the size under eighteen wheelers, and a van just like the one he tried to buy. He began roping people in to drive with him all the way to California, even if they didn't have any training on how to drive huge fuckoff trucks around cliffs, and UFO Guy who agreed to go didn't even have a license. UFO Guy wanted to go so he could see some sweet Area 51 stuff on the way. Nobody knows if he got to, and five days later when they came back, he walked into the store looking white as a ghost and like he'd been dragged behind a horse and starved. James and I asked if he was okay, and his story of that trip actually included being starved and abandoned along with Juan.

I have to go afk again, so look for another post within a day about the details of the California trip.

beato posted:

Inspector Zenigata posted:

Yeah I don't get that. A foot shorter and almost 200 pounds heavier than me? How would that even work? I can't come close to imagining what it would be like.

bringmyfishback posted:

Actually, you can use your gunt as an airbag if the ride crashes.

PaganGoatPants posted:

This 30 minute "documentary" is about a man in Thailand. It's worse than you think. Much worse. :vomit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC2noEIZsLk

beato posted:

Shoe of all Cosmos posted:

I'll preface this by explaining why the gently caress I was managing such a shithole anime store under a mentally stunted owner.

Combo posted:

I'm like 3 minutes in and all I'm hoping for in every scene is for someone to walk up and slice his throat. What a disgusting human being.

I legitimately don't know how the people around him don't just beat the hell out of him.

Twat McTwatterson posted:

Because you're a loving loser, hope this helps.

Shoe of all Cosmos posted:

Vindolanda posted:

Genuinely fantastic username/post combo

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Flying back home, I was looking through Skymall magazine at the incredible trash that they sell, and I found this:


$129.00. How brain dead would you have to be to buy one of these? Especially now that the WAYWT thread is closed.

AlbieQuirky posted:

Holy poo poo. I remember that those multifabric shirts were popular with fat dudes in the early 1990s, but this is not a fashion I expected to come back.

I bet you could wear that with Zubaz.

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Flying back home, I was looking through Skymall magazine at the incredible trash that they sell, and I found this:


$129.00. How brain dead would you have to be to buy one of these? Especially now that the WAYWT thread is closed.

Juice Box Hero posted:

The picture advertising the shirt in the skymall catalog features a guy whose gut has been Photoshopped to look smaller, or he's wearing a girdle.

https://pic.twitter.com/xg1Ynw7m

beato posted:

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Flying back home, I was looking through Skymall magazine at the incredible trash that they sell, and I found this:


$129.00. How brain dead would you have to be to buy one of these? Especially now that the WAYWT thread is closed.

Planet Piss posted:

Well, he has a point

Humboldt squid posted:

I thought crimbo was some kind of amazing new word for a crime hobo or something, but it just means Christmas >

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Flying back home, I was looking through Skymall magazine at the incredible trash that they sell, and I found this:


$129.00. How brain dead would you have to be to buy one of these? Especially now that the WAYWT thread is closed.

EmmyOk posted:

I hope that becomes a thing.

EmmyOk posted:

I hope that becomes a thing.

hseroK divaD posted:

I thought it was a KoL reference, do british people really talk like that?

hseroK divaD posted:

I thought it was a KoL reference, do british people really talk like that?

Squallege posted:

He's a tomgirl, as if that's an actual word.

Shoe of all Cosmos posted:

This is a huge wall of text and I can put it in its own thread if anyone thinks it'd be better.

This story about the anime store is absolutely true to the best of my knowledge, and in spots where I'm not sure or am speculating, I'll say so. The people are renamed for their protection. The owner himself doesn't actually deserve protection or sympathy, but the people around him would be hurt if I published his name here.

The store: Anime Dump
The owner: Francis
His girlfriend: Diamond
Landlord: Jeb
Assistant Manager: James
Store Manager (me): Maria
Other Store Manager of trading cards: Ben
Volunteer/employee hybrid: Juan
There are two additional people I didn't know by name, so they are Old Lady and UFO Guy.

I'll preface this by explaining why the gently caress I was managing such a shithole anime store under a mentally stunted owner. In the beginning, December 2012, the owner Francis offered me the position because his previous store manager “did nothing for three days so I fired her” which we later found out is complete bullshit because she was sick and still came to work and just sat down instead of standing. Francis is a lying twisted rear end in a top hat and that girl was really nice to me and obviously had her poo poo together when I finally met her in October 2013. Also, Francis never once fired anyone himself, ever, because he sent his girlfriend Diamond to do it because he was too chicken. He always sent Diamond to do his dirty work of talking to employees, even though Diamond had severe legitimate Asperger's and struggled to communicate. He was extremely abusive to her, but that's another volume entirely.

So Francis offered me the position, and I accepted for $8 an hour because it was “all he could afford”, and it was my job to keep the store growing so we could put more money into payroll. Since Francis had recently made the transition from a mall kiosk into a full-fledged strip mall outside, I believed him. He didn't reveal that he was only able to afford the move into a big storefront because he convinced Diamond to quit her career as a cell biologist and cash out her 401k. The move was absolutely not due to growth, and he lied to me about it. So for the next five months, I did everything you're supposed to do to grow a business, and Francis undid all of it.

There are four months between this preface and the story here about the sixteen tons of yaoi manga. This happened in May, and by this time I and my ASM James were sick of Francis's bullshit and were just trying to keep the store afloat while he blew all the money that came in on God knows what. The store's income always mysteriously disappeared, and even with bringing in $30,000 per month, there was never enough when we asked for payroll or supplies. Francis would just...Francis away the money. It's famous around the people who visit Anime Dump as the “million dollar question”: Where does all the money go? The store looks and smells like poo poo and the merchandise is old and damaged, and Francis dresses like a homeless person and hasn't had a haircut in probably ten years. Nobody knows. Speculation has ranged from drugs to scammers to syphoning all the money to his other girlfriend in Minnesota who has Lyme Disease. (The other girlfriend is real and does have Lyme Disease, I researched.) The scam idea has weight because Francis once lost thousands of dollars (he wouldn't tell me the exact amount) to a con man who took control of his money and physically locked it up in his house, and wouldn't give it back without keeping an absurdly high percentage.

With Francis not having any money, ever, no matter what James and Ben and I did to increase sales, Francis was always looking out for “great deals” on merchandise he could flip. Except Francis was loving horrible at determining what kind of merchandise sells and what does not. Francis dropped hundreds of dollars on things like Star Trek porcelain plates, gross Disney Baby bobbleheads, old dusty ugly anime figures from obscure shows nobody has heard of, and a big box full of Soul Eater pencils. Like not even different characters, just all the same red Soul Eater pencil. So when Francis saw that a manga publishing company was selling their California warehouse's contents for 40 cents per book, he jumped on it. This was yaoi manga (gay porn comic books) for 40 cents wholesale with a retail price of up to twenty dollars. Sounds a little too good to be true, right? Yaoi is an extremely niche market, like so tiny that only very specific 15-year-old girls ever buy it, and in limited amounts. Yaoi is an almost dead industry in America. This manga publisher was panic selling their warehouse and Francis couldn't put two and two together.

One day Francis told me he was taking two freight trucks and a cargo van across the United States from Texas to California to go pick up some books he bought. He came up next to me behind the register and clicked to a Craigslist post on the computer, a white Mercedes van meant for heavy loads. They were asking $10,000 for it and Francis offered them the $6000 he had from selling his car recently. They accepted the offer and instructed him to pay the $6000 and they'd have the car delivered to Anime Dump so he could inspect it and accept the deal or not. Scam scam scam scam scammy scam scam. Craigslist even has a giant warning at the bottom of every listing page that says “ONLY DEAL LOCALLY AND BEWARE OF SCAMMERS”.

I took one look at the listing and said “Francis that's a scam.” He just looked at me in his loving gross rear end unwashed frog hat that he always wore every single day. I explained “They were asking $10,000 for a van that they're going to deliver from some other city, and they actually took your offer of almost half that.”

Francis said, word-for-word because this is burned into my memory, “Yeah it's a great deal, isn't it?” I just loving looked at him. Later that night I called him and sat on my living room floor literally yelling into my phone for him to pull out on the deal. This was the beginning of me losing my poo poo and actually screaming at Francis whenever he did something stupid. I didn't have a lot of interest in rescuing Francis from his own idiocy, but I did have interest in keeping the store afloat so I and my seven employees could get paid.

Francis never told anyone if he got his money back. Later that week, he rented two trucks the size under eighteen wheelers, and a van just like the one he tried to buy. He began roping people in to drive with him all the way to California, even if they didn't have any training on how to drive huge fuckoff trucks around cliffs, and UFO Guy who agreed to go didn't even have a license. UFO Guy wanted to go so he could see some sweet Area 51 stuff on the way. Nobody knows if he got to, and five days later when they came back, he walked into the store looking white as a ghost and like he'd been dragged behind a horse and starved. James and I asked if he was okay, and his story of that trip actually included being starved and abandoned along with Juan.

I have to go afk again, so look for another post within a day about the details of the California trip.