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deadly_pudding posted:This thread is amazing, also. I hope you check out some of the surprisingly You forget the plot that performs the most unnecessarily long BUT THOU MUST sequence if you try to do the responsible thing and the whole bit about murder. Modding that game was fun, though! I'm still proud of Slenderpriest.
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Jan 28, 2014 20:07
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horse games that are floating around out there. There was an LP of Petz Horsez 2 a year or two ago, and I remember being pretty impressed by how far they took "taking care of horses adventure, you know, for the girls", despite the game's general jankiness. It's like a made for TV movie, in video game form, but like with also really weirdly detailed equine hygiene mini-games.
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| # ? May 8, 2024 10:07 |
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 Good posting high five to you
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Jan 28, 2014 21:11
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I think Jezebel stole your idea: http://jezebel.com/barbies-plastic-surgery-and-beyond-the-worst-iphone-a-1508281761
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Jan 28, 2014 21:55
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I'm pretty sure I know why I did this.
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Jan 28, 2014 23:28
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Anoia posted:I think Jezebel stole your idea: http://jezebel.com/barbies-plastic-surgery-and-beyond-the-worst-iphone-a-1508281761 I saw that! Clearly I am tapping into the mind of the collective subconscious of the internet.
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Jan 29, 2014 00:50
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Oh boy, am I glad you featured a dentist Barbie. If anyone was disturbed by Barbie's dental game, then just wait until you see what I have for you.  I was actually going to cover a few dress up games and even one or two dating games, but the train derailed straight into Creepytown. See, what I quickly discovered about some of these sites is that the games on there don't necessarily originate from that site. They seem to have some kind of affiliation going on between each other, so many games on a given site will include a link to another site. Presumably it's the site of origin, but honestly those sites tend to have even more games that link back to some place. It's not really easy to know who to blame for some of these games. So I'm just going to say they're all equally to blame, because I figure they're all guilty if they think the teeth and nose cleaning games they promote are appealing in any way. For me this whole mess started out simple enough: I was looking at different dress up games to see if there were any interesting enough to showcase.   Late For School isn't one of those interesting games, aside from the odd choice in clothing patterns, but on a whim I decided to click on the site logo in the corner and WHAT THE gently caress  123kido advertises itself as a site for children, and it helpfully separates the games by gender. There is quite a bit of overlap between the categories, such as in the Christmas and Puzzle sections, but for the most part boys have their thing and girls have theirs. See that, fellow ladies? Mario and Sonic aren't for you! Now shut up and go play a Sandwich game.  So many of the splash screens look like this that it's not worth documenting them all.  While I can respect trying to aim a game about giving and receiving medical care to young girls, I just can't get past how loving terrifying the art is in these dentist games. Almost all of the dentist games on this site belong to a series that uses the same template. You're presented with a mouth and pair of choppers that in no way fits the art style of whatever poor character was stolen for the game. The teeth, which are utterly identical in every game aside from the few featuring non-human characters, suffer from all the same ailments and must be treated with the same tools. I'm not really sure what anything is called, because none of it is explained, but generally you use pointy things on the red and black dots, pliers on teeth that are almost entirely black, and brushes on everything else. You can also replace teeth that you've plucked out, and sometimes there's a lamp you can turn on for extra realism. Sharing a template also means that some of the games share a common oddity: Every single tooth you put in is root-side up. At least, I think it's the root. Maybe they're just oddly-shaped teeth. Anyway, you can sort of get around this issue if you put in something with a flat, rounded end, not that I actually did that.  There's also a lot of crying involved. It's extremely uncomfortable.   I kind of had to cheat a little to show this one: It's not on 123kido, but rather on a site I'll be covering later. Regardless, this game actually tries to give a goal besides just ripping out some poor sap's teeth and calling it a day, but it only serves to highlight how copy-and-paste the whole series is. Plus, there are twenty-five levels, and for me the game lags almost to the point of unplayability. I gave up before I could even finish the first level. Wait, teeth decoration?  Yes, a few of these games even go a step further by having you decorate the teeth with dyes and jewelry! It's an optional step, but why should that stop me? Especially when my patient is a lion, which I'm sure has a great need for neon-colored teeth  A picture speaks a thousand words.   I should also point out that there is a dental game outside of this series that doesn't suck. It's certainly not perfect: All the dentist does is step back and let an untrained babysitter do all the work, making angry faces at the player when they make the tiniest mistakes. And if you keep sound on, Baby Hazel's crying and laughter can get grating really, really fast. But all that said, it's surprisingly good, though that might just be because the other games set the bar so low. The final section of this game is dedicated to how one should help a toddler care for their teeth, even noting which kinds of toothbrushes and toothpastes are appropriate for their age. Baby Hazel is itself a fairly large series of games, some of which are edutaining in nature. 123kido does have a large collection of its games (though it's not the site of origin), but this post is long enough as it is without getting into that.  Moving on from medicine to makeovers to Mulan!  ...oh.  Yes, in this game, Mulan portrayed as unkempt and in dire need of a makeover. Are those pimples on her face? Boils? I have no idea, but there are a lot of them and you need to rip them off her face. Just look at Selena's Date Rush in the first video to get an idea of what kind of disaster this game is. For what little consolation it is, we don't have Shang breathing down our necks, judging us for not immediately plucking our eyebrows on his command.  After the makeover is a more traditional dress-up game. You can even change Mulan's eye and skin colors, though her options for the latter are limited to various types of light skin. The eyeshadow option appears to not work, and for some reason there's a blue blush included. I'm sure you can make blue blush work, but this isn't how you do it.  After a tiny bit more digging, apparently this too is just one game reskinned over and over to make a series; this character here is supposed to be Belle! The fact that they're all the same thing is not quite as obvious as in the dentist series, because they do disguise each step with different graphics and sometimes omit the pimple-popping segments, but after playing a few it becomes clear that they're still following a single format.  This one's all about scrubbing   To finish this off, I took a peek into the boy games to see what they had. There weren't a lot of game that seemed particularly masculine, and I got the impression that most of them were called boy's games only by default because they didn't have any cute animals, babies, or cooking lessons in them. At the same time, a few games that would be considered for girls only were mixed in, such as games starring ponies or Barbie. There's a similar mix in the girl's section, where a few puzzle games that aren't really cutesy have been shuffled in. ("My Little Kitty" is actually a bit interesting, as it's categorized as both a girl and a boy game. Specifically, it's categorized in "Girls Games >> Dress Up Games >> Animal Dress Up Games" and "Boys Games >> Animal Games >> Cat Games".)  And then there's Bunga Bunga.   The story doesn't even try to hide what this game is all about, calling it your "personal sex party". Gameplay is painfully slow. You have to wait as long as ten seconds for someone to show up, then wait as long as fifteen for them to hold up an object; even though you're supposed to be able to do anything you want without consequence, if you slam the door on someone before they take out a camera or a gavel, you automatically lose, even though you can safely assume the journalist and the judge will always end your party. Your actual guests include a sexy nurse, a sexy policewoman, a sexy bunny girl, and a random balding man. While you get points every time you successfully welcome or kick out a visitor, there's a separate counter that keeps track only of how many women joined your party. I remind you again that 123kido prides itself on having games that kids of all ages can enjoy. Either they don't even check what gets submitted to them, or they feel that this is appropriate for the target audience. I think I'd prefer the former. Next time, I'll take a look at another website and its offerings. Highlights include liposuction, nose-cleaning, and romantic endangerment of life. MiracleFlare fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Jan 29, 2014 |
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Jan 29, 2014 00:58
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Thread over, you win.
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Jan 29, 2014 02:39
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Why would they do that to Mulan?MiracleFlare posted:Teeth teeth teeth teeth I don't want to think about teeth ever again. Thanks for that.
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Jan 29, 2014 03:23
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The dress up part's appeal is fully understandable, but I have no idea why a girl would want the personal hygiene section. I mean, I guess I get why it's there, since these gamemakers are all about further the terrible societal standards set on women because it sells, but who would enjoy playing it? Wouldn't you rather just skip to the dress up part? I suppose the personal hygiene sections make it more like a game, but it just makes it a lovely game. And a lovely dress up.
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Jan 29, 2014 03:33
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That sure is some nightmarish imagery. It's almost as if it's a subversive attempt at putting people off these random shoehorned-in brands, rather than a cynical attempt at getting kids to go "Hey, angry birds!" *click* [+1 advertising revenue counter] Also that Bunga Bunga game 
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Jan 29, 2014 03:42
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I can't believe no one has made it yet, but after Vacuum's update, I felt it needed to be made. Made specifically for any Avatar-Related Needs.
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Jan 29, 2014 04:30
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I like your enthusiasm! It's efforts like these that will make LET'S PLAYDIES into an official gang tag!
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Jan 29, 2014 04:47
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Oh man! I'm so glad that site has an entire category dedicated to Buble shooter games! I've always wanted to control Michael Buble as he destroys wave after wave of bad guys while Haven't Met You Yet plays on repeat in the background!
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Jan 29, 2014 05:17
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Devious Vacuum posted:I like your enthusiasm! It's efforts like these that will make LET'S PLAYDIES into an official gang tag! I don't think gang tags really need to be official, do they? From what I understand all that happens is somebody with platinum attaches it to a post, and then everybody who wants it links to the image in their avatar.
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Jan 29, 2014 05:46
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There's no real reason the Assassin's Creed wouldn't include sex parties, I guess.
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Jan 29, 2014 05:52
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RBA Starblade posted:
They already had one in Assassin Creed: Brotherhood.
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Jan 29, 2014 05:56
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Wanamingo posted:I don't think gang tags really need to be official, do they? From what I understand all that happens is somebody with platinum attaches it to a post, and then everybody who wants it links to the image in their avatar. For the Saints Row one someone actually bought a second account and set it as that account's avatar. You could also just buy it as the avatar of someone who hasn't posted in ages. Or of someone who does. Even if they change it the image will still be usable in titles because old avatars don't get deleted.
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Jan 29, 2014 08:42
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It's a nice touch that the Angry Birds teeth cleaning game uses the version of the red bird that was transformed into female by adding long eyelashes and a pink bow. Sorry girls, you don't get the one who appears in the actual real game! Kloro fucked around with this message at 09:00 on Jan 29, 2014 |
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Jan 29, 2014 08:58
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I'm looking at the concept of Bunga Bunga and all I can see is a more surreal,  take on Papers, Please.I wish game creators thought in ways like that.
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Jan 29, 2014 18:43
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KataraniSword posted:I'm looking at the concept of Bunga Bunga and all I can see is a more surreal, At least then it'd make more sense that it takes half an hour or more to process 'entrants'. Glory to Arztotzka indeed.
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Jan 29, 2014 18:52
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Tiggum posted:For the Saints Row one someone actually bought a second account and set it as that account's avatar. You could also just buy it as the avatar of someone who hasn't posted in ages. Or of someone who does. Even if they change it the image will still be usable in titles because old avatars don't get deleted. Oh really? So that's how that works! Wow, I am really tempted to do this, but will I be able to live with myself for unleashing Let's Playdies upon the forums?
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Jan 29, 2014 19:48
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If you do, please please go for the spelling "Let's Pladies" instead. "Playdies" always looks like a portmanteau of "play" and "dies" to me.
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Jan 29, 2014 19:58
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The_White_Crane posted:If you do, please please go for the spelling "Let's Pladies" instead. But what if that's what I like about it??
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Jan 29, 2014 20:12
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The_White_Crane posted:If you do, please please go for the spelling "Let's Pladies" instead. Counterpoint: "Pladies" looks like it's pronounced "plaid ees", assuming you pronounce plaid so it rhymes with lad.
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Jan 29, 2014 20:18
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Ah yes, the Let's Pladdies, the masculine form of Video Dames.
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Jan 29, 2014 20:25
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Anoia posted:Counterpoint: "Pladies" looks like it's pronounced "plaid ees", assuming you pronounce plaid so it rhymes with lad. e:f,b
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Jan 29, 2014 20:27
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"Yes I'll have a Let's Patty with extra cheese, cut the commentary." "Would you like your subtitles grilled or fried?"
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Jan 29, 2014 20:28
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tlarn posted:"Yes I'll have a Let's Patty with extra cheese, cut the commentary." You can fry those? 
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Jan 29, 2014 20:30
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LPs are really fattening, y'know. Consume in moderation.
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Jan 29, 2014 20:36
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Jan 29, 2014 21:12
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Hey, I thought we didn't use words like "die" in this thread.  Also I like that one of the dog tricks involves the dog rotating it's head like the Exorcist or something.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:18
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Tiggum posted:For the Saints Row one someone actually bought a second account and set it as that account's avatar. You could also just buy it as the avatar of someone who hasn't posted in ages. Or of someone who does. Even if they change it the image will still be usable in titles because old avatars don't get deleted. I think platinum's cheaper, though. Like with the avatars, attached images are hosted on the SA server for good.
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Jan 30, 2014 00:24
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Well, I already have platinum, so if I attach the file here, then what happens? EDIT: OHO I SEE DOUBLE EDIT: If I need a mod's permission I apologize for making A Thing about this, carry on. Devious Vacuum fucked around with this message at 01:52 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 00:38
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In celebration of this, I have created a batch of avatar-sized images! Y'all are doing a way better job than me, though:           
Devious Vacuum fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Jan 30, 2014 |
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Jan 30, 2014 01:09
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Devious Vacuum posted:In celebration of this, I have created a batch of avatar-sized images! Y'all are doing a way better job than me, though: Above and beyond call of duty.
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Jan 30, 2014 01:21
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The laser eyed chick is the best. 
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Jan 30, 2014 01:23
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This is painful, I kind of want to make a megathread for good dress-up games or something. 
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Jan 30, 2014 01:42
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Clochette posted:good dress-up games So like... Saints Row?
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Jan 30, 2014 01:54
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Devious Vacuum posted:Well, I already have platinum, so if I attach the file here, then what happens? After a bit of checking, I guess that method of gang tags only worked because did allow [img] tags in your avatar at one point. Not sure when they made the change, but as far as I can figure the only way to get them now would be to bother slowbeef about it.
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Jan 30, 2014 01:57
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| # ? May 8, 2024 10:07 |
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Clochette posted:This is painful, I kind of want to make a megathread for good dress-up games or something.
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Jan 30, 2014 02:03
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