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N Z - Reach terminal velocity +1
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Feb 18, 2014 11:33
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 11:44 |
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Sojenus posted:Do a flip. Do a flip, also turn hunger into an art form, become Asherah.
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Feb 18, 2014 12:08
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Oh thank god, I didn't miss my chance to vote to G: Fall Stylishly. Some people seem to have assumed that 'do a flip' is a different vote. This is merely the mad portion of the great Sojenus' mind failing to grasp the letter system. Do A Flip is a subsection of G, anyone voting otherwise doesn't know what they're talking about.
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Feb 18, 2014 12:22
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I vote that only Sojenus' vote be counted.
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Feb 18, 2014 12:39
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SerSpook posted:I vote that only Sojenus' vote be counted. Sojenus is insane, he's only hallucinating our votes, we are him. Being him, we are insane, and only imagine that we aren't. Him. Or insane.
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Feb 18, 2014 12:41
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Welcome to Diogicana. Please make your vote choice Followed by thee post button now? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXTTfgu5prY
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Feb 18, 2014 14:44
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Dio I'd like to spend just one day in your head, just to see what it's like.
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Feb 18, 2014 16:36
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Outrail posted:Dio I'd like to spend just one day in your head, just to see what it's like.  I wonder how many people will wait for something to happen because they think this is a .gif
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Feb 18, 2014 16:38
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Sojenus posted:Do a flip. If you were at the Olympics. You are currently falling through an endless abyss. Just in case you forgot. Sojenus posted:I would also like to issue a decree that every time a person/spirit/entity/etc. falls from any higher elevation to a lower elevation, a tax (a very reasonable tax, I assure you) is due, to be paid to my court. I work hard to ensure that falling remains a predictable and understandable phenomenon throughout all realities and sub-realities etc., but operating costs have risen recently and the books must be balanced. You imagine that you are praised by the media and all of your people for your brilliant state craft and incredible political acumen. Then you realize you were hallucinating all of that. You keep falling. We may update tonight but I may need another day. I am turning the game over to Sojenus till the next update. Sojenus guidelines. For his eyes ONLY! 1. You are a spirit, immortal and unable to harm yourself in any way. 2. But still need to breathe and feel hunger. You cannot experience arousal. 3. Apparently you are surrounded by a pocket of air. The physics of this makes no sense but it seems to be the case. 3. Anything you see, hear, smell, touch or otherwise experience in any way beyond your body is ultimately a hallucination. 4. You are naked. 5. You keep falling. Downwards. At terminal velocity. 6. See #4 above. Diogines fucked around with this message at 17:11 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 16:45
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I just finished reading Madgod. Bravo Diog. It was amazing to see how all of these serious minded posters in Ur were just wacky goofballs in Akkad. Amazing read. Never stop letting us Choose Our Own Adventures, please.
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Feb 18, 2014 16:48
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You decide to break into the third person, and many of the voices in your head congratulate you on your fine decision. You make a mental note to fire them, yes-men never helped anyone. The pressure of leading a hallucinatory empire and keeping it in a state of hallucinatory prosperity would typically be a crushing amount of constant stress, but fortunately, you're already falling, and if popular opinion sways and the Sword of Damocles came down on you it wouldn't be able to catch up. You feel great about your superiority over a literary device. Secure in your position from threats within your entirely fictional realm in the void, your gaze turns outwards past the borders of the eternal void to lands beyond. Near as you can see they look pretty much the same, black and empty and all that, so you feel pretty solid about things all in all. Perhaps you need to bolster your not real garrison of fake soldiers in the event that nothing that actually exists threatens your imaginary realm, but decide against it. There has been a near perpetual shortage in the granaries for the past all the time, and you need to keep up the numbers of pretend agricultural workers just in case one of them manages to grow some real food. Might happen, you've got faith in the imaginary citizens in your head and you're assured of their devotion to the empire. You resolve to take advantage of this brief moment of partial lucidity and have a conversation with the one actual thing keeping you company through this wonderful experience. The air around you. If it even is there. The only thing you're pretty sure about existing is yourself, although you had a wonderful couple of millennia a while back in which you had yourself thoroughly convinced you didn't exist. It was very relaxing. But being the only not-you thing around here, you're pretty suspicious of the air. You think about what to ask it.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:22
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Chat about the weather.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:24
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"How 'bout this weather, crazy eh?" The air avoids making eye contact and seems uncomfortable.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:27
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Ask about the air's family
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Feb 18, 2014 18:28
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Sojenus posted:You make a mental note to fire them, yes-men never helped anyone. You object entirely to this new form of address. While such methods may have their uses, it is essential to the mental health of the Imperial mind to maintain a strict distance between the ruled and the rulers, so as to be certain that you are, in fact, you while you are conversely mere figments of your imagination. You see what you mean? Endless chaos and confusion! You beg yourself to revert immediately to the first-person mode of address.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:29
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Does my falling through you hurt?
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Feb 18, 2014 18:30
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"So how's your family doing? I heard your eldest just got married, congratulations." The air doesn't respond. You worry that something bad may have happened recently to it's family and you're making things awkward by trying to bring it up.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:32
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Ask the air if it's ready to get back together yet. You two had a good thing going, a couple millennia ago. You both know it. That incident with the void meant nothing. Isn't it time to forgive and forget? Isn't it?
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Feb 18, 2014 18:34
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You tire of referring to yourself in third person, but unfortunately any measures to alter this will have to wait until you hire a new advisory committee in order to ensure the proper protocols are followed for such narrative alterations, as the last was fired for excessive brown-nosing. You silently agree with yourself that it's pretty lame.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:35
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In order to ensure that the Empire receives the best possible guidance and to help relieve you of some of the many burdens of leadership, you would like to propose an emergency proposal to immediately hire a new advisory committee consisting of you, yourself, thou, and a representative from the air. While you realize it may be unorthodox to include that which is not-you within your governing councils, you believe it is time to face reality and accept that the air is your only true foreign ally against the void, which you recognize as being the greatest threat to national security. Besides, you believe that it would be an excellent preliminary to furthering diplomatic relations to the point where you might conceivably annex the air (which, you are informed, is a necessary first step to growing real food).
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Feb 18, 2014 18:44
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You consider asking the air if you're hurting it and that's why it refuses to make any decent conversation like a polite person would, but it makes you consider a couple things. You're fairly sure you've hit terminal velocity, which is a function of air resistance. So there's three possibilities that follow. The void itself is full of air. It's not actually a void. If it's existed forever and has a near homogeneous distribution of air dense enough to breath, then why has none concentrated enough to cause formation of astronomical objects? There would be an infinite amount of objects present in the infinite void, and so far you've hit nothin'. You have a small amount of air surrounding you and falling with you at the same rate as your terminal velocity. Somehow. If you need to breath it, then how have you not run out of fresh air by now? Is this an open system? Maybe there's a plant over there you can't see. Also falling. And would this pocket of air as a whole be subject to a terminal velocity if it's falling through a void? What resistance would it encounter? Or there's no air at all. You're not really sure if you even need to breath anyway, although base psychological urges keep you from trying to kill yourself by self-suffocation. The many times you've tried you just get a sore throat for a while. But then how would you have hit zero acceleration if there's no drag force? None of this makes any sense and so you wave your arms wildly flipping off everything around you.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:47
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You send notice to the various aspects of your personality to meet to create a new advisory committee. A representative from the air is also requested, but some of the advisors are worried that not sending a similar request to the void would be seen as a diplomatic insult. You tell them to shut up since you rule the void anyway gosh have none of you been paying attention to all those void-ish god like powers? Just watch this: See? Nothing happened. Perfect control of void. You wait for the air dignitary to arrive.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:53
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Briefly ponder how the cost of your falling tax will irrevocably cripple your economy. Even if the tax is inversely proportional to the distance you fall, anything greater than zero times infinity is infinity.
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Feb 18, 2014 18:56
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One of your advisors didn't read their handbook and you remind them to consult the GOAFFMP guidelines for progressive taxation and cut-off points within the various Fall Brackets. Regardless, an infinite fall is not an issue. As the fall never ends, the proper tax payment can never be calculated, and therefore no payment is ever required. Considering a sample size of one (1) for infinite falls has been observed thus far, the GOAFFMP committee decided this was an acceptable situation.
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Feb 18, 2014 19:00
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Jester Mcgee posted:I just finished reading Madgod. Bravo Diog. It was amazing to see how all of these serious minded posters in Ur were just wacky goofballs in Akkad. Amazing read. Never stop letting us Choose Our Own Adventures, please. Sojenus. When the envoy for the air arrives, take it hostage and demand from the air a giant bird you can fly to Kush!
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Feb 18, 2014 19:00
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No, the time for threats is over. We must reconcile a two-state solution along with the air. Grovel before the air representative and plead for a helicopter.
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Feb 18, 2014 19:45
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Sojenus posted:You consider asking the air if you're hurting it and that's why it refuses to make any decent conversation like a polite person would, but it makes you consider a couple things.  This tells you that you are not falling, or rather that you are resisting the Manifest Truth of Falling. And yet of course you are falling, since falling is all of existence and you have persuaded yourself that persuading yourself you don't exist was amusing, but ultimately a waste of whatever time used to be before you were infinitely falling for all of eternity. So if you are both falling and not falling perhaps it is not you at all. Perhaps this imaginary Air is pretending to fall and conspiring to have you believe you are falling. And yet falling requires the memory of not falling. Do you have such a memory of not falling, probably expressed as a positive attribution rather than a negation of falling? Without such reference falling only is. There is no is and is not about it. If it is everything in this way it is also no thing. You may imagine sensation. When was the last time that actually changed? Time? Change? Not if the universe is Falling. It is a false imagining if present at all. You clearly hallucinate this Air as Other to cling to some Not You Falling. There is no Not You Falling. The entire universe is You Falling. If so, then it is also the case that there is no distinct You, as if separate from Manifest Falling. If no Subject-shadow-You of some imagined separate Object, then no Falling. Why do you believe in this strange magical concept of Air-Not-You? How odd that you could distinguish air in that universe of No Thing. You imagine for instance that you are flipping, this way and that to occasionally amuse yourself. What external reference do you have for this? None. There is no up. No down. No this side or that. No inside or out. Of course you might imagine these things to amuse yourself. God's often do. They get bored after they invent time and space. You might imagine that you remember something about all that, but you have no correlate for such memories. Your memory produced Self no longer matches the infinity of falling that is you and the universe. You are probably surprised to remember that you have not yet forgotten that memory. It must take incredible effort to cling to such a delusional reality. For you are Falling, yet you seem to pretend to cling to something Not-Falling in the production of your Self. The universe is clearly Falling. Yet your Memory Imagined Self refuses to simply Fall. You resist Falling imagining that you are falling, as if there were some Other. Why do you resist the manifest Universe of which you are clearly God? Abandon these false delusional memories. They are heresy of the manifest Truth of Falling, which when embraced as All and all cannot then be falling, even while it Is. Does Sojenus Fall? Some say "yes" and others "no". They are both wrong in this. Sogol fucked around with this message at 20:20 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 19:49
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Put yourself into a stance fit for meditation. Meditate and remove your earthly attachments. Achieve enlightenment and embrace nirvana.
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Feb 18, 2014 20:25
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paragon1 posted:Put yourself into a stance fit for meditation. Meditate and remove your earthly attachments. Achieve enlightenment and embrace nirvana. This, but then try and eat nirvana.
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Feb 18, 2014 20:57
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Yes, attain inner peace then go insane and eat the peace. Peace is delicious. edit: Wait... weren't you part of a powerful mage, Sojenus? Why don't you magic stuff? Magic something. Deadly Ham Sandwich fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Feb 18, 2014 |
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Feb 18, 2014 21:01
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:Magic something. Magic a brand new infinite void to fall through. This new one will be so much nicer.
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Feb 18, 2014 21:23
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Sojenus posted:One of your advisors didn't read their handbook and you remind them to consult the GOAFFMP guidelines for progressive taxation and cut-off points within the various Fall Brackets. So then, in order to evade the tax, one must simply never land, as then the fall is never completed. What about drops, plummets, plunges and dives?
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Feb 18, 2014 22:00
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Eat the air. Eat the void.
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Feb 18, 2014 22:06
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The big surprise twist to this game is that Sojenus becomes El.
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Feb 18, 2014 23:37
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Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:The big surprise twist to this game is that Sojenus becomes treasure. Go be treasure.
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Feb 18, 2014 23:40
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No, Sojenus becomes the world shattering meteor sword we see at the end of our nightmares whenever we express doubt. Sojenus, the sword of Smythos. Eternally falling, he will punch straight through the land, emerge on the other side, and then return to the void that is his sheath.
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Feb 18, 2014 23:45
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Sojenus somehow manages to hit a fraction of the speed of light before crashing through Ur's atmosphere and directly through a battered and confused Enkidel. Perfect ending.
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Feb 19, 2014 00:22
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I love these threads so much.
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Feb 19, 2014 00:23
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I anticipate a real update tomorrow evening, too late for me to do it tonight, sorry folks. In the mean time, Sojenus keeps falling.
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Feb 19, 2014 02:19
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 11:44 |
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I hope us owning a male and female cow mean that we will eventually be able to enact Project Cowlord.
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Feb 19, 2014 03:10
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