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bringmyfishback posted:I looked at the first entry on that site and immediately because so loving pissed because I have one too, very harndy tho i mostly use it for making mashed potatos and butter. I should look into getting some of the attachments for it. Its not that expensive either.
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Mar 22, 2014 03:48
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Upshot is you can buy a Kitchenaid eventually but he'll never not be a shitbird.
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Mar 22, 2014 15:40
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Cimber posted:I should look into getting some of the attachments for it. Its not that expensive either. Kitchenaids go up in wattage and price hand in hand. Some of the attachments are hella expensive too, like the one trick pony pasta attachments (of which there are about 5).
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Mar 22, 2014 17:36
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Party Plane Jones posted:Kitchenaids go up in wattage and price hand in hand. Some of the attachments are hella expensive too, like the one trick pony pasta attachments (of which there are about 5). I rescued a top of the line one that's probably over 30 years old from my grandma's house when we where moving her. It also came with an entire cabinet of attachments including the meat grinder and a pasta maker. All I have ever done with it is make a batch of brownies from a box.
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Mar 24, 2014 08:10
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ColHannibal posted:I rescued a top of the line one that's probably over 30 years old from my grandma's house when we where moving her. It also came with an entire cabinet of attachments including the meat grinder and a pasta maker. I've done the same, the only things I've made with the one I borrowed personally are failed rye bread recipes and some fairly decent baguettes.
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Mar 24, 2014 23:09
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Party Plane Jones posted:I've done the same, the only things I've made with the one I borrowed personally are failed rye bread recipes and some fairly decent baguettes. It seems like a great tool that I use far too infrequently. I really should break it out more.
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Mar 25, 2014 00:09
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slidebite posted:
This reminds me of mixing 'drinks' in middle school with my brother. We made drinks called "Michael J Fox." These would be various combinations of different soda and flavor additives. Usually just a few different sodas mixed with a splash of flavor syrup or some kind of extract from the spice cabinet. Generally terrible, but fun. Then one day we found the peppermint extract. We knew that you only ever used a little of the stuff, and if a capful was used in desserts and whatnot that a tablespoon or two would really punch up our Michael J Foxes. They were so peppermint-y and unpalatable we probably laughed for ten minutes. Then we went and gave them to our parents as a nice cool refreshing beverage (it was a hot day and they were working outside). I think we were grounded for a month and forbidden to go into the spice cabinet again.
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Mar 25, 2014 04:46
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THE MACHO MAN posted:Not only is that recipe horrid, that side is amazingly bad. Everything is just a horrible recipe. He has a jambalaya recipe features Hillshire Farms sausage and a bay leaf as the only seasonings. Not even garlic The first mistake in that recipe is "Chicago-style deep dish" and it just cascades from there.
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Apr 10, 2014 12:10
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I managed to set fire to my kitchen at 2am after deciding that I wanted to eat some mashed potatoes. I put some potatoes on to boil and then promptly forgot them until the smoke alarm went off about four hours later. My bleary eyed husband had to get out of bed to shut off the alarm and then to extinguish the smoking mess in the kitchen. I am not allowed near a cooker unsupervised any more:(
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Apr 12, 2014 19:24
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NyoEi posted:I managed to set fire to my kitchen at 2am after deciding that I wanted to eat some mashed potatoes. I put some potatoes on to boil and then promptly forgot them until the smoke alarm went off about four hours later. My bleary eyed husband had to get out of bed to shut off the alarm and then to extinguish the smoking mess in the kitchen. I am not allowed near a cooker unsupervised any more:( I would say I've done something similar but it would be a lie because potatoes are god's own food and I could never waste them. I have had to go outside in the freezing cold for 30+ mins before when I messed up stove-popping popcorn and gassed my entire house with burnt oil and popcorn smoke.
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Apr 12, 2014 19:48
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I once melted a plastic spatula into a skillet filled with leftover ravioli. Fell asleep on the chair right next to the stove. Threw the whole mess in the trash, then went to bed still hungry, still drunk, and super disappointed.
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Apr 12, 2014 20:34
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I once made spaghetti with some friends once, drained it into a colander, and then put the plastic colander back onto the pot, and promptly forgot about it. Drinking was involved, you see. After about fifteen minutes, I remember my pasta and look at it. The heat from the pasta and the pot has melted the colander into a sticky red mess, and it is impossible to separate. Welp.
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Apr 12, 2014 21:12
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I pulled an allnighter working on a final project, and at 5:40, I put a frozen pizza in the oven. I sat in my chair and continued working, and I was suddenly awoken at 6:30 when my parents got up for work. All that was left in the oven was a giant black hockey puck..... Alternatively, my sister tried making mac and cheese and cooked the noodles so long that all of the water boiled off and the massively inflated noodles caught fire and burned into the pan
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Apr 13, 2014 02:23
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I was in a rush trying to multitask by cooking something in a cast iron at the same time I was baking something else in a pyrex baking dish. They both finished at the same time so I took the cast iron off the electric stovetop, searched around for my oven mitts, got the baking dish out...and set it down right on the burner that had just been heating the cast iron skillet. Apparently I'd forgotten I moved it and figured the open burner was a cold one. Cue me realizing this a minute or two later, and I grab the dish with my mitts, all excited that I managed to save it before something terrible happened. I sit it down on the counter, and then I hear a little pop. Uh oh. The baking dish just explodes, and I get to spend like 20 minutes hunting down shards of pyrex in the kitchen and living room. And that's how I learned about thermal shock, or something.
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Apr 15, 2014 23:54
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Full Fathoms Five posted:I was in a rush trying to multitask by cooking something in a cast iron at the same time I was baking something else in a pyrex baking dish. They both finished at the same time so I took the cast iron off the electric stovetop, searched around for my oven mitts, got the baking dish out...and set it down right on the burner that had just been heating the cast iron skillet. Apparently I'd forgotten I moved it and figured the open burner was a cold one. Cue me realizing this a minute or two later, and I grab the dish with my mitts, all excited that I managed to save it before something terrible happened. I sit it down on the counter, and then I hear a little pop. Uh oh. The baking dish just explodes, and I get to spend like 20 minutes hunting down shards of pyrex in the kitchen and living room. And that's how I learned about thermal shock, or something. My dad and I had a pyrex dish explode when we cooked lasagna and set it out on the counter afterwards. There was no water or cold/warm, just a normal countertop. We had just done home-made lasagna so we dug the pyrex out and ate it anyways, cheers. Occasionally I would feel a crunch and realize I had some glass in my mouth.
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Apr 16, 2014 00:01
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Not as extreme as some of these but today I tried making some rice to pour my soup over (being sick sucks) and went by the package directions---which call for a cup of rice and a quart of water. That seemed like a lot but what do I know? So I filled a saucepan, dumped in the rice, covered it, let it do its thing for the five minutes---and then went to stir and fluff it. Predictably, the rice was submerged at the bottom of five inches of water. Drained out it tasted okay, but in the meantime I'd used a dishtowel to cover my bowl of soup while I microwaved it and somehow the broth had wicked up into the towel, leaving me with very little broth and a strangely-slick, chicken-scented towel. The rice and soup were both delicious, though.
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Apr 16, 2014 01:33
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You were a fool to not take comfort in the chickentowel.
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Apr 16, 2014 02:06
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I worshipped the chickentowel for the heaven-sent gift that it was, and then I washed the chickentowel.
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Apr 16, 2014 03:04
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What kind of rice packet asks for a quart of water per cup of rice?
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Apr 16, 2014 09:38
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THE MACHO MAN posted:Not only is that recipe horrid, that side is amazingly bad. Everything is just a horrible recipe. He has a jambalaya recipe features Hillshire Farms sausage and a bay leaf as the only seasonings. Not even garlic I realize this is from a month ago, but http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2005/12/american-food-for-german-company.html Stew recipe: Browned meat, chopped vegetables, and then stew the whole loving thing in V8. Holy poo poo.
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Apr 17, 2014 21:58
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pandaK posted:What kind of rice packet asks for a quart of water per cup of rice? Not a packet; it's from a box (and came from Walmart, if that tells you anything.) And it was supposed to make two servings. I may have used the wrong size measuring cup; I have no idea.
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Apr 17, 2014 23:24
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lousy hat posted:I realize this is from a month ago, but http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2005/12/american-food-for-german-company.html Are we sure that he's not doing a How To Basic? http://youtu.be/upxw2eiPQwU
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Apr 18, 2014 00:20
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lousy hat posted:I realize this is from a month ago, but http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2005/12/american-food-for-german-company.html Not to defend that recipe, because it looks pretty lousy, but when I first got a slow cooker I figured a fairly spartan beef stew would be a good first thing to use its abilities. A friend linked me this recipe which ALSO uses the pre-browned meat, veg and tomato juice and I was hugely skeptical (especially about the juice...hell, it even lacks the herbs of the above!) but followed the recommendation anyway. Maybe it was down to having the crockpot slow cook (I'm not convinced about "yours" at all) but it was a pretty decent, if basic, stew 
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Apr 18, 2014 00:33
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lousy hat posted:I realize this is from a month ago, but http://damngoodfood.blogspot.com/2005/12/american-food-for-german-company.html God drat it I saw the video on the pizza and I want to try the recipe which is completely different than the one he had written.
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Apr 18, 2014 00:35
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I made meatballs using a recipe that had an alternative recipe for meatloaf on the same page. The only real difference was the cooking time -- 20 minutes vs 90 minutes. Whoops. Fortunately I only had room to bake half the meatballs, so after I threw the first batch out, I only had to wait 20 minutes to eat some that weren't rock hard and tasteless.
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May 25, 2014 19:09
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A few of mine, mostly cockups: 1. I decided to try making some delicious zucchini muffins. I grated the zucchini, mixed the batter and the zucchini together (not too much because they're muffins), baked them and let them cool. It came time to try them and they were impressive and very moist! It was then mum asked what the were. I said with pride, Why they're zucchini muffins mum! She told me we didn't have any zucchini, only cucumbers. So I ended up inadvertently making cucumber muffins instead. Surprisingly good, but not one I'd attempt again. 2. My future father-in-law grows chillies. A good variety of them. One time after visiting he gave me a big bag of a whole heap of different types to try. He had to harvest the lot because the deer kept on wandering by the vege patch and eating them all. Not really knowing what to do with all these chillies I figured I should at least cook with some of them and found a nice recipe for a pea, ham and chilli pasta sauce. I was going to cook this for a nice dinner for two with my future wife. The recipe called for a medium chilli. I looked in the bag and found no medium sized ones but there were two smaller orange ones -perfect! I cut these up as directed and popped them in to the pan with garlic and olive oil. It was sauteeing away nicely and I was looking forward to this yum pasta. The sauce finished without any dramas, pasta was ready - it was time to eat! We hungrily digged into our pasta with gusto. First bite - delicious! A triumph! What's that slowly building up? Inconceivable heat! Oh my gods! Turns out these were habaneros that I added. I like chilli, my wife not so much, but even for me that was ridiculous. 3. I like to homebrew. I've slowed down a lot lately because I don't have time, but I used to do a lot of experimental stuff. One time after successfully brewing a partial mash (which is using grains as well as malt extract) I had a heap of yummy smelling grains and figured it would be great to try to make some bread out of it. I need to let it rest for a little while to lose some heat so I could knead it without getting my hands burnt off. Once it was cool enough to handle, I added some extra flour to compensate for the additional liquid, threw in some yeast and got to work. Soon enough I had a great bread dough that smelled awesome. I let it rise a couple of times, impressed that it was actually working then put it in the oven. I had no idea how long in the oven it needed so pulled it out after 40 minutes and gave it a tap on the bottom - needed a little longer so let it cook another 10 minutes and it's done. We were all excited to try it so I got the breadknife out and sliced it up. Hot bread with butter? The best! We all buttered up a slice then took a bite. Everyone made appreciative noises at first then came the screwed faces and spitting out of the bread - it was a homebrew, and I forgot I'd added hops to the grain bag as well. A lot of fine fuggles hops to be sure, but these are what gives beer that lovely herbal floral bitterness as well. You don't leave it in the beer for a reason, and we all found out why that was that day. I'll try that bread again sometime, but will definitely put the hops in their own bag.
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May 27, 2014 21:55
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Hops and grains shouldn't be in the same vessel, dude.
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May 27, 2014 23:05
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Filboid Studge posted:Hops and grains shouldn't be in the same vessel, dude. Hehe I'm not that much of a brewer to be honest!
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May 27, 2014 23:18
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Filboid Studge posted:Hops and grains shouldn't be in the same vessel, dude. First Wort Hopping is pretty great.
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May 30, 2014 23:31
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Anyone have any bright ideas for removing plastic from an electric stove element?
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May 31, 2014 02:23
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Low heat windows open is what my friend did, but it was gross as hell when I visited a day later. At worse, pick up a new element from a hardware store?
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May 31, 2014 02:36
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angerbot posted:Anyone have any bright ideas for removing plastic from an electric stove element? It's a metal element, right? Try a razor blade and your nails. I use that for when plastic gets melted to my dremel bits
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May 31, 2014 02:40
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Splizwarf posted:First Wort Hopping is pretty great. It is, and the hops still don't come in contact with the grain, just the wort. Hence the name.
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May 31, 2014 08:18
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angerbot posted:Anyone have any bright ideas for removing plastic from an electric stove element? Open windows. Put fans in windows. Turn element on high. Go outside and barbeque tonight.
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May 31, 2014 08:36
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The Door Frame posted:It's a metal element, right? Try a razor blade and your nails. I use that for when plastic gets melted to my dremel bits
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May 31, 2014 21:53
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Pull it off the stove and hit it with a propane torch, outside.
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May 31, 2014 23:15
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Sweating into the gravy. I still blame the turkey. When I was little I suppose I did not do measuring well. I emptied our cinnamon. 1/4 teaspoon does not equal 1/4 cup. I should mention: loving up got me to ask for a cookbook for Christmas. It didn't help. Zeluth fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Jun 1, 2014 |
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May 31, 2014 23:50
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When I was in college I shared a house with three other people. None of us really knew how to cook. I did scrambled eggs. One of the others would fry up some hamburgers out of one of those 2-foot tall sleeves of frozen, waffle-shaped ground beef patties sometimes. A girlfriend made up a binder full of basic recipes for him to try so that he could actually eat real food other than what the school cafeteria had (Grade D, Institutional Use Only meat: Prisons and Schools). On a Friday he informed us he would be trying the Chicken Enchiladas recipe. That was cool, but I was going out that night so I didn't get to partake. Came back and died at 2 in the morning so no chance to ask how they were. Everyone was out of the house by the time I rolled out of bed the next morning. I went in to the kitchen to make some eggs for breakfast, and noticed the main counter. It was completely covered in a clear, slightly pink fluid. I stared. There was a remnant of very thin plastic wrap suspiciously stuck to another counter. I stared at that too. I opened the freezer to look for something to microwave, since I wasn't going to touch that counter. There, perched on a precarious slant atop every other food item in the freezer, was the leftover raw chicken, just sitting on its styrofoam tray in the open air, no plastic wrap, no ziploc bag, no plate. The rest of the kitchen was not very clean; the stove was covered in dead grease from the hamburger frying and most of the surfaces had random dry goods and grocery bags and random trash on them. There were no cleaning products in the house, not even bleach. So I went to the store, got a deli sandwich for my breakfast, and came back with a bunch of cleaning supplies and made that whole motherfucking kitchen shine. My roommates were rather stunned when they returned home to a sparkling kitchen. As payment for this service, I made them sit through a lecture about salmonella and food poisoning. I taught them about cross-contamination, I demonstrated proper handwashing and how and when it should be performed. I told them how to store raw meats (i.e. not on top of every other loving edible). I was surprised to find out that it was mostly news to them, that they didn't realize that leaving raw chicken juice on the counter might cause health problems. I wasn't an authority, I just learned about basic food safety when I had to get my handler's card for being a pizza delivery driver. And I had experienced food poisoning once before. None of them got sick from eating the enchiladas, thankfully, but they probably owe that to good clean chicken and luck. At the time I was happy I had missed that particular meal. Happily the kitchen was kept reasonably clean from then on.
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Jun 1, 2014 16:12
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This week I did a fuckup that was several days in the making. Over the weekend I made my standard bread dough recipe, which is enough for two loaves. I decided for some reason to only make one, which turned out great as usual! So then I had a bread worth of dough just sitting around, which is not in itself terrible because it can survive pretty well in the proper conditions. It would have been fine except: 1. I decided I was too lazy to make room in my fridge so it sat on my counter 2. The weather got really hot, and 3. I just started my new job this week, and left my windows open all day because I wasn't home to realize how hot it was getting. So this dough sat out for multiple days, heating up to 80+F. The nagging thought in the back of my head that I should really be baking the rest of the dough finally got loud enough to get me to act on wednesday night. So I floured my surface, turned on the oven, and attempted to knead the dough. It was...soupy. Here is where things go downhill rapidly. Instead of just giving it up and throwing it away, I poured soupy dough into a bowl and stuck it in the fridge, then promptly forgot about it. So it sat in there overnight, uncovered... The next morning I woke up later than usual, but by god I was going to bake that bread. I turned on the oven again, pulled out the dough from the fridge, and plonked it onto my floured countertop. It was solid now! And crusty on top! It was like kneading a block of clay, but whatever. Also I could only give it half an hour to rise becuase I couldn't be late to work, but whatever. Also I realized too late that I had forgotten to put the pan in the oven to heat up, but whatever. It probably won't be fine but I can't stop now, got to keep making terrible decisions! So what came out of the oven was a blob with very little rise, stuck to the pan. I had to chip away at it with a spatula for quite a while to get it off. I haven't eaten any of it but it's dense like a brick and smells incredibly sour. I took a picture that somehow makes it look good, just try to keep in mind that it's like four inches tall  ...in my defense I've recently started on some antidepressants that destroy my ability to make rational decisions.
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Jun 1, 2014 20:22
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Zeluth posted:When I was little I suppose I did not do measuring well. I emptied our cinnamon. 1/4 teaspoon does not equal 1/4 cup. I've done that but with chili powder. I didn't realize that there wasn't a top on it so about 9 tablespoons went into a chili that I made. Managed to scoop some out but between that and having some rice to put it on it was actually a glorious mistake that I haven't been able to replicate since.
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Jun 1, 2014 20:31
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