bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

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Dessert Rose: May 17, 2004; awoken in control of a lucid deep dream...

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

it's strangely squishy, meaning meat patties, meaning they're standing on rejected burgers.

i also thought maybe the ceiling had a bunch of burgers stuck to it but maybe thats because i was just reading mona lisa overdrive

# ? Jan 6, 2015 22:27

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:49

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

jfc you people can't go back a single page and read one fuckin line

rjmccall posted:

most of the patties end up on the ground, which you suddenly realize is a lot spongier than it's supposed to be. also, doesn't the ceiling seem lower?

# ? Jan 6, 2015 22:36

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Shifty Pony posted:

basically the thing that will kill bitcoin is bitcoiners being involved.

at least it keeps them distracted until then.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 22:39

Jizz Festival: Oct 30, 2012; Lipstick Apathy

Sham bam bamina! posted:

jfc you people can't go back a single page and read one fuckin line

Nah that'd just make the floor seem higher, you idiot.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 22:41

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK: Sep 11, 2008; Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola
-Cheap Trick; Nap Ghost

Sham bam bamina! posted:

jfc you people can't go back a single page and read one fuckin line

maybe the truth is in the middle

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:04

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

infernal machines posted:

no but the NSA! it's always on!

they can have my coins when they take them outta my cold dead butt

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:09

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Soricidus posted:

they can have my coins when they take them outta my cold dead butt

tbf if you used any published rng to create your wallet they already have your coins. if you rolled your own rng they definitely have your coins.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:17

My PIN is 4826: Aug 30, 2003

rjmccall posted:

look, it's simple. you have a Happy Burger brand fast food establishment, and sometimes kids come in and want their Happy Burger brand Happy Kiddy Burger, which according to the Happy Burger brand franchise operating instructions is supposed to be 4oz of usda utility grade hamburger lightly grilled and pressed into a poppy seed bun with two slices of mild pickle and a slice of tomato and a piece of iceberg lettuce and the name of the kid written on the top in half an ounce of Happy Burger brand special sauce about which the less said the better

so naturally what you do is, you post an ad saying, cooks wanted, please bring your own grill and meat and bun and pickle and tomato and lettuce, we'll supply the sauce

and you get an applicant, and you send him down to the Hall of Cooks, which is a featureless infinite plane that you keep in the unlit basement of your Happy Burger brand fast food establishment. and you tell him to just keep making burgers and handing them up, and if he hands up a burger that satisfies your standards, you'll pay him a bonus, which is $100,000, plus the price of the burger, which is $.50

now the cook can't see too good down there, and he keeps handing up burgers that are more like pickly meatballs with a swastika painted on the side in tomato sauce, but as long as the meat's cooked the health department won't shut you down, so you keep taking them and dutifully handing down briefcases of cash with a few quarters tossed in. and the cook's pretty happy, even after you summarily declare one day that you're only going to pay $50,000 per burger in the future

so the cook calls in a friend, and she sets up in the Hall of Cooks and starts handing up burgers, and now you're getting acceptable burgers faster than you can sell them. so you raise your standards a bit, and you insist that burgers have to be on a bun, and that cuts production back down to a manageable rate. but the cooks are still pretty happy, even after you cut the burger bonus again to $25,000

this goes on for a while, and now you've got a hundred cooks down there, and you've started demanding that they spell out the kid's name correctly, and that's not easy. so now they're not just making burgers to your increasingly exact specifications, they're racing each other to be the first to get the kid's name right. but you're still paying $5,000 a burger, and apparently the cooks are still happy, because more and more keep showing up

you get curious one day while you're squeezing into your franchise past the giant mountain of rotting discarded hamburgers, and you head down to the Hall of Cooks. the last time you came down here, there were only six cooks, and they were just standing around in a disorganized circle; but now they're organized into these large groups. in one of them, you find your first cook, and he shakes your hand. "remember when we'd just started out and i was lumping up store meat by hand and cooking it on that tiny old george foreman?", he laughs. "that was before figured out cookie cutters and rolling pins." he's standing at a huge professional-grade charbroiler with twenty-four different patties arranged on it; suddenly, in a single efficient flash of movement, he flips them all over. of course, the dull glow of the grill isn't enough in the utter blackness of the Hall, and most of the patties end up on the ground, which you suddenly realize is a lot spongier than it's supposed to be. also, doesn't the ceiling seem lower? you shake it off and head back upstairs to start taking orders, wondering when it'll be the right time to cut the bonus to $1,000

it's been another year. there are tens of thousands of cooks in your basement. you're rejecting burgers for sloppy handwriting. you're rejecting burgers for having too thick a slice of tomato. you're rejecting burgers for excessively clustered poppy seeds. seven months ago, the cooks started building floor-to-ceiling ovens with internal robotics custom-designed for making Happy Kiddy Burgers; now there are whole fields of them, each making ten thousand burgers a second. of course, it's still pitch-dark down there, and the cooks aren't exactly susan calvin, so almost all of those burgers get added straight to the end of the Great Greasy Mountains, but it's amazing how quick they come now. you overhear a few of the cooks talking excitedly about the orders they just placed for massive new ovens from Barbecue Labs. you don't know how any of them can afford this when the burger bonus is only $100

three months ago, you politely asked whether they could start making the adult Happy Burgers, too

for an entire day, all the burgers had your name written on top in poison

is this short enough to be the new thread title?

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:17

Weatherman: Jul 30, 2003; WARBLEKLONK

Jizz Festival posted:

Nah that'd just make the floor seem higher, you idiot.

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:19

FCKGW: May 21, 2006

Something you can do to help right now: Add a virtual ssid to your router called Bitcoin, blast your neighborhood (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 2 hours ago by kiisfm
I personally bought a $5 extra router to provide open wifi with intranet closed

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:28

theflyingorc: Jun 28, 2008; ANY GOOD OPINIONS THIS POSTER CLAIMS TO HAVE ARE JUST PROOF THAT BULLYING WORKS; Young Orc

FCKGW posted:

Something you can do to help right now: Add a virtual ssid to your router called Bitcoin, blast your neighborhood (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 2 hours ago by kiisfm
I personally bought a $5 extra router to provide open wifi with intranet closed

oh man my church is going to love this idea, i'll just make one called JESUS, i'll convert thousands

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:30

BangersInMyKnickers: Nov 3, 2004; I have a thing for courageous dongles

a wifi network called bitcoin that doesn't do anything useful. sounds like accurate advertising

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:39

Same Great Paste: Jan 14, 2006

Jizz Festival posted:

Nah that'd just make the floor seem higher, you idiot.

awesome username / this-thread-happenings combo

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:40

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

my ssid is now buttcoin, checkmate :smuggo:

# ? Jan 6, 2015 23:47

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

theflyingorc posted:

oh man my church is going to love this idea, i'll just make one called JESUS, i'll convert thousands

I have seen "Jesus Saves". I did not connect.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 00:44

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

rjmccall, you are an inspiration

# ? Jan 7, 2015 00:48

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

FCKGW posted:

Something you can do to help right now: Add a virtual ssid to your router called Bitcoin, blast your neighborhood (self.Bitcoin)
submitted 2 hours ago by kiisfm
I personally bought a $5 extra router to provide open wifi with intranet closed

somebody is going to pirate something and he is going to get sued and he'll probably roll over immediately and pay whatever is demanded

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:01

TVarmy: Sep 11, 2011; like food and water, my posting has no intrinsic value

i just set my router to "nsa party van," and bought a second router to set to "the game." now the neighbors will know not to gently caress with me now that they have been trolled!

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:16

My PIN is 4826: Aug 30, 2003

I have four routers named 1, 2, 3, and 5. people spend ages looking for 4 :classiclol:

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:25

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

so is there a butt ticker that still works or are there literally zero functional exchanges now

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:29

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

http://www.coindesk.com/price/

it still works but you have to check off the alternate data sources as their "bpi" was tied to bitstamp pretty closely

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:34

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

thx

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:35

Chris Knight: Jun 5, 2002; me @ ur posts; Fun Shoe

I was wondering why there were so many new posts since last week

so many happenings to take in!

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:43

Same Great Paste: Jan 14, 2006

winkdex sez 287.82

# ? Jan 7, 2015 01:44

SSDDR: Aug 3, 2004; Grimey Drawer

DaTroof posted:

so is there a butt tickler that still works

# ? Jan 7, 2015 02:14

My Linux Rig: Mar 27, 2010; Can't post for 6 years!

duTrieux. posted:

somebody is going to pirate something and he is going to get sued and he'll probably roll over immediately and pay whatever is demanded

hell thats probably the best anyone involved can hope for

# ? Jan 7, 2015 02:27

Dex: May 26, 2006; Quintuple x!!!

Would not escrow again.

VERY MISLEADING!

My PIN is 4826 posted:

I have four routers named 1, 2, 3, and 5. people spend ages looking for 4

i have 3 named a,b and c. if you connect to any of them there's a 100% chance of goatse

# ? Jan 7, 2015 02:51

ElectricMucus: Feb 9, 2013

And they're gone.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 03:54

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

Someone needs to go there and put up "gently caress you, got yours" signs everywhere.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 03:58

Magrov: Mar 27, 2010; I'm completely lost and have no idea what's going on. I'll be at my bunker.

If you need any diplomatic or mineral stuff just call me. If you plan to nuke India please give me a 5 minute warning to close the windows!

Also Iapetus sucks!

quote:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting CoinTerra.

Our legal department has provided the following:

�The company has defaulted on its secured notes. The Note Holders have senior, secured and, we believe, perfected liens on all of CoinTerra's assets, including servers. We have proposed a plan to the Note Holders. However, at this point we do not know how they are going to react to our proposal. The Note Holders are evaluating their options. Until this is resolved, CoinTerra will be unable to make further payments.�

What this means is that we cannot issue any payments to customers at this time. Rest assured we will let you know if this situation changes or if there are any relevant new developments but, for now, we have no further information.

Best regards,

Laura CoinTerra Support Team

i'm shocked.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:03

Malloc Voidstar: May 7, 2007; Fuck the cowboys. Unf. Fuck em hard.

lol their mining contracts cost $3500/$15000/$125000/$990000
wonder how much idiots who bought contracts will be out

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:10

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

ElectricMucus posted:

And they're gone.

were they ever really there to begin with

:iiam:

stay safe bitstamp ghost

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:12

ElectricMucus: Feb 9, 2013

Powershift posted:

Someone needs to go there and put up "gently caress you, got yours" signs everywhere.

If you aren't trying to social engineer everyone else out of theirs you won't gonna compete in The Free Market, so you should.
I'm waiting for the day when that attitude becomes actually encouraged by the majority of Bitcoiners.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:17

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Magrov posted:

i'm shocked.

I'm the "legal team"

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:18

evilweasel: Aug 24, 2002

Magrov posted:

i'm shocked.

Wait what, what's the background on this?

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:50

Powershift: Nov 23, 2009

evilweasel posted:

Wait what, what's the background on this?

they shipped a bunch of broken garbage, their customers filed a class action suit against them. they somehow suckered a whole bunch of people to convert miner orders into cloud contracts, and now seem to be lawyering their way into dissapearing with the money.

I don't know why a company selling pre-orders on super high margin stuff would ever need loans to operate, but there it is.

# ? Jan 7, 2015 04:59

VAGENDA OF MANOCIDE: Aug 1, 2004; whoa, what just happened here?; College Slice

Powershift posted:

they shipped a bunch of broken garbage, their customers filed a class action suit against them. they somehow suckered a whole bunch of people to convert miner orders into cloud contracts, and now seem to be lawyering their way into dissapearing with the money.

I don't know why a company selling pre-orders on super high margin stuff would ever need loans to operate, but there it is.

so about 6 months ahead of bfl's playbook

# ? Jan 7, 2015 05:02

bend it like baked ham: Feb 16, 2009; Fries.

Rest assured ...

# ? Jan 7, 2015 05:05

Captain Cool: Oct 23, 2004; This is a song about messin' with people who've been messin' with you

surebet posted:

i can't even begin to know what to c/p from this, click for what's essentially the most god damned exhaustive documentation of silk road's history

i anchored the link at the internal notes of how poo poo went down during the crackdown

http://antilop.cc/sr/#flotsam

if they're right about the connections, there was one person or maybe a couple of people scamming dpr/silk road for six figure payouts

- tony76, a trusted seller who scammed $100k out of silk road, was probably the same person as lucydrop, who scammed $100k out of silk road in the same way
- friendlychemist, the target of the non-fbi hitman scam ($160k), was probably lucydrop or lucydrop's lsd supplier
- tony76 was supposed to be one of the four targets in the last hitman scam ($500k), but that was bad info at best, also dpr went with the fed hitman instead of redandwhite

# ? Jan 7, 2015 05:05

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 18:49

Malloc Voidstar: May 7, 2007; Fuck the cowboys. Unf. Fuck em hard.

PurseIO yeah the 'sorry you got raided by the police' company posted:

Corporate-issued virtual currencies include loyalty points, airline miles, gift cards, WoW gold, etc. They are non-transferrable, illiquid, inflationary, revocable-at-will, and centrally controlled. Sum of their market cap is >26x Bitcoin. You probably received a lot of this stuff over the holidays, and the person who gifted it to you likely paid full value. Kinda crazy, no?

# ? Jan 7, 2015 05:09

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > bitcoin: a sisyphean nightmare, forever trapped in an endless wall of sperg

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