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Asimo
Sep 23, 2007


It's important to keep in mind that AD&D was basically a way to gently caress Arneson out of money an evolution of the tournament rules for running adventures in OD&D. By necessity they had to be fairly rigid and inflexible so players could know what to expect whenever they got into a convention game, and even theoretically bring characters between GMs at different conventions. In hindsight this is a bit silly, but at the time D&D wasn't that far removed from its wargaming roots so it was kind of an understandable development.

Of course in the long term, the AD&D-style design won out of the BECMI-style, but so it goes.

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ManMythLegend
Aug 18, 2003

I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

gradenko_2000 posted:

From the DMG of AD&D:



Emphasis mine

Compare it to OD&D:




It's my impression that AD&D really was pushed to be played RAW as much as possible, and that the rules themselves covered as much ground as possible (culminating in AD&D 2E I suppose) because they were trying to run the 70s/80s version of Organized Play. It's almost like they're discouraging DM's from making on-the-spot rulings because you were supposed to be able to "plug-and-play" across multiple tables and know that what worked (or didn't work) with Jim the DM would also reach the same conclusion with Bob the DM.

It's computer-less MMORPGs, and they couldn't have people jumping from a normal server to one with 100x drop rates and the Warrior has Heroic Leap.

Yeah, my experience with the game only goes back as far 2E, so these snippets from the earlier editions is really interesting to me.

I have this feeling that a lot of the problems we see today in grogs are because somewhere between AD&D 1 and 2 TSR pushed to ditch boards and miniatures. This essentially left a bunch of minis rules to try and describe more abstract concepts which they were really unsuited for.

Fast forward a few decades and now D&D is viewed as a genetic fantasy role playing (and all the pomp that comes with that) with some optional minis stuff as opposed to a fantasy miniatures game with some optional other stuff tacked on. For some reason lots of people get really uncomfortable/indignant when these flaws are pointed out and the limitations of the minis rules are exposed.

neonchameleon
Nov 14, 2012



ProfessorCirno posted:

Here's the big secret: the early editions that grogs put on a pedestal, much like almost any revered past, never actually existed outside of their heads.

Here's the other secret. There are three types of people left from the early days:
1: Social gamers. Who play to have fun with friends and don't care that much.
2: People who liked what was written.
3: People who fixed that nonsense - most of whom did it so long ago they've forgotten that it was ever there.

The people who didn't like the way D&D was written simply walked away or played other games.

AmiYumi
Oct 10, 2005

I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG
I have a bunch of old and less-old issues of Dragon I can mine, but the first thing that comes to mind actually got reprinted in the 3.5e Dragon Compendium hardcover: a rambling dozen-page explanation on why/how you should base your maps,on tesseracts. Because gently caress your players, that's why.

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

AmiYumi posted:

I have a bunch of old and less-old issues of Dragon I can mine, but the first thing that comes to mind actually got reprinted in the 3.5e Dragon Compendium hardcover: a rambling dozen-page explanation on why/how you should base your maps,on tesseracts. Because gently caress your players, that's why.

IIRC, the Dragon also published an adventure in Baba Yaga's hut that based its map on a tesseract.

Arivia
Mar 17, 2011

Selachian posted:

IIRC, the Dragon also published an adventure in Baba Yaga's hut that based its map on a tesseract.

You might be confusing Dragon with Paizo's Pathfinder products, which use a tesseract as the inside of Baba Yaga's hut in the final adventure of Reign of Winter.

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

gradenko_2000 posted:

It's computer-less MMORPGs, and they couldn't have people jumping from a normal server to one with 100x drop rates and the Warrior has Heroic Leap.

I'm fascinated by this kind of play, because I started fairly recently and have only ever played with friends in a self-contained campaign.

Was it expected, when AD&D was new, that players would carry their characters between campaigns with different DMs (and likely the same setting, barring Planescape/Spelljammer shenanigans)? I can just imagine someone showing up to a game with a wrinkled character sheet for their level 13 wizard with a ton of backstory based on actual play and it's kind of great, but great in that "I don't think I'd ever want that kind of play myself" way.

I think I was always vaguely aware that some people played that way, but I've never really heard much about what it would be like. (Y'know, except for the first Community D&D episode where Neil talked about all the campaigns his character had been in.)

Harrow fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Jan 20, 2015

MadScientistWorking
Jun 23, 2010

"I was going through a time period where I was looking up weird stories involving necrophilia..."

Arivia posted:

You might be confusing Dragon with Paizo's Pathfinder products, which use a tesseract as the inside of Baba Yaga's hut in the final adventure of Reign of Winter.
Nope. It was also 4E product which I believe has to do with the fact that Baba Yaga's hut was where the tesseract idea originated from.

MadScientistWorking fucked around with this message at 15:34 on Jan 20, 2015

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy

Harrow posted:

I'm fascinated by this kind of play, because I started fairly recently and have only ever played with friends in a self-contained campaign.

Was it expected, when AD&D was new, that players would carry their characters between campaigns with different GMs (and likely the same setting, barring Planescape/Spelljammer shenanigans)? I can just imagine someone showing up to a game with a wrinkled character sheet for their level 13 wizard with a ton of backstory based on actual play and it's kind of great, but great in that "I don't think I'd ever want that kind of play myself" way.

I think I was always vaguely aware that some people played that way, but I've never really heard much about what it would be like. (Y'know, except for the first Community D&D episode where Neil talked about all the campaigns his character had been in.)

I don't have any personal experience with it myself, but my impression was that yes, you were supposed to be able to bring the same character to play across multiple DMs/tables. If we think of D&D as an offshoot of fantasy wargaming rules, then it makes sense: you can bring your Warhammer miniature army to play against different people and different terrains (subject to point limits) and it works and people do it all the time - RPGs are then just an army of one. I'm guessing that it just got so much trickier with D&D because the expectations were different: you weren't just banging painted mans together and going BOOM, you had to have a reason.

IIRC Mike Mearls himself compared D&D modules like Keep on the Borderlands to MMO raids: it formed a shared experience; just as any two WoW players can look back on that time they killed Vaelastrasz to bind them to a larger community, so could D&D players think back and compare notes on how they found a way to beat the Cloudkill trap on room 34B or something.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

gradenko_2000 posted:

It's my impression that AD&D really was pushed to be played RAW as much as possible, and that the rules themselves covered as much ground as possible (culminating in AD&D 2E I suppose) because they were trying to run the 70s/80s version of Organized Play. It's almost like they're discouraging DM's from making on-the-spot rulings because you were supposed to be able to "plug-and-play" across multiple tables and know that what worked (or didn't work) with Jim the DM would also reach the same conclusion with Bob the DM.
From a cynical perspective, sticking to RAW also gives you more incentive to buy everything from TSR, and a consistent playstyle across the base further encourages you to buy stuff from TSR, knowing you'll get full use out of them. (I think this gives the lie to Rob Kuntz's claim that Basic was for "eager dependents" and AD&D for "dissenting creatives.")

Edit: VVV Gygax and the other ground-floor TSR employees had a weird relationship with modules and campaign settings. Their reaction to the first premade adventure they saw (Palace of the Vampire Queen) was confusion as to why anybody would want someone else to create a setting or an adventure for them, instead of doing it themselves. They had originally planned to sell such exciting products as "Outdoor Geomorphs" and "Monster & Treasure Assortments," along with stuff that would've been taken over quickly by other vendors, like hex maps and graph paper.

At some point, they figured out the value of modules and, later, campaign settings. From a business point of view, it was something they could sell. From a creative point of view, modules teach a lot about how the game is played.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 15:59 on Jan 20, 2015

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

gradenko_2000 posted:

I don't have any personal experience with it myself, but my impression was that yes, you were supposed to be able to bring the same character to play across multiple DMs/tables. If we think of D&D as an offshoot of fantasy wargaming rules, then it makes sense: you can bring your Warhammer miniature army to play against different people and different terrains (subject to point limits) and it works and people do it all the time - RPGs are then just an army of one. I'm guessing that it just got so much trickier with D&D because the expectations were different: you weren't just banging painted mans together and going BOOM, you had to have a reason.

IIRC Mike Mearls himself compared D&D modules like Keep on the Borderlands to MMO raids: it formed a shared experience; just as any two WoW players can look back on that time they killed Vaelastrasz to bind them to a larger community, so could D&D players think back and compare notes on how they found a way to beat the Cloudkill trap on room 34B or something.

With that viewpoint, D&D modules suddenly make a lot more sense to me. I sort of came to DMing/GMing with the intention of building my own setting and adventures from the start, so I never really entertained the idea of running modules. I hadn't really thought of them as shared experiences before. Hypothetically, if every DM runs AD&D RAW and runs every module RAW, players at dozens of tables could be having very similar experiences playing AD&D. That's kind of cool, but, well, I'll be damned if I'm ever going to run another game of D&D RAW again (well, maybe 4e with the Inherent Bonuses variant).

ocrumsprug
Sep 23, 2010

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
They may have intended RAW franchise consistency for tournament play. However when I was twelve we weren't reading those directions imbedded in Dragon or going to conventions expecting it either.

When we finally figured out how the hell AD&D weapon speed was supposed to worked, we added it to our game. I am not sure that even lasted one one session.

AD&D was impossible to run as written.

drunkencarp
Feb 14, 2012

Dragon Forum, issue 119, circa March 1987 posted:

Has anybody out there noticed that there are no female strength limits in Oriental Adventures? I thought not. Unfortunately, we must understand that the whole purpose of the aforementioned book is to make adventuring possible in a specific culture, and that culture did not happen to be very egalitarian. Women were most definitely not encouraged to become great warriors in feudal Japan. Any full-blooded medieval Oriental male would feel a great loss of honor serving a woman! Female Oriental characters should not really be samurai or the like. Who would have trained them?If you happen to be running a serious campaign, female warriors just don’t fit into most cultures, especially an Oriental culture (in fantasy novels, yes, but not medieval China).

This provoked several responses in later issues, although not nearly as many as the guy who claimed banded mail didn't exist or the guy who thought low-level magic-users were underpowered.

moths
Aug 25, 2004

I would also still appreciate some danger.



The world before Wikipedia seems like caveman days.

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

Arivia posted:

You might be confusing Dragon with Paizo's Pathfinder products, which use a tesseract as the inside of Baba Yaga's hut in the final adventure of Reign of Winter.

No. I actually took the 30 seconds to look it up this time, and the original tesseract-based "Dancing Hut" adventure was in Dragon #83. I actually tried to run it back in the day; the players didn't even bother trying to figure out the tesseract and just started picking doors at random and going "Oh, we're in this room again."

ascendance
Feb 19, 2013

drunkencarp posted:

This provoked several responses in later issues, although not nearly as many as the guy who claimed banded mail didn't exist or the guy who thought low-level magic-users were underpowered.
Actually, women who are married to powerful men and widowed in an extremely patriarchal culture end up with a lot of political power. See: Benazir Bhutto, Indira Gandhi, Dowager Empress CIxi. Power is invested into clans and families, so the ostensible head of the clan ends with all that power, even with a woman. This guy just knows poo poo about Asian culture.

I thought the argument was that splint mail and banded mail didn't exist in Medieval Western Europe, and were based on Oakeshott's misinterpretation of medieval illustrations. Studded leather armor didn't exist either. Basically, chain mail was drawn in a lot of different ways, as was brigandine armor. I mean, banded armor existed as lorica segmenta, scale mail existed as lorica squamata, and splint mail (or lamellar) was used by a lot of near eastern cultures, but none of them were used in the high middle ages/early renaissance that D&D pretends to be.

Basically, everything wrong about weapons and armor in D&D can be traced back to the fact Gary Gygax relied heavily on one very dated source.

Tekopo
Oct 24, 2008

When you see it, you'll shit yourself.


moths posted:

The world before Wikipedia seems like caveman days.

quote:

An onna-bugeisha (女武芸者?) was a type of female warrior belonging to the Japanese upper class. Many wives, widows, daughters, and rebels answered the call of duty by engaging in battle, commonly alongside samurai men. They were members of the bushi (samurai) class in feudal Japan and were trained in the use of weapons to protect their household, family, and honour in times of war. They also represented a divergence from the traditional 'housewife' role of the Japanese woman. They are sometimes referred to as female samurai. Significant icons such as Empress Jingu, Tomoe Gozen, Nakano Takeko, and Hōjō Masako are famous examples of onna bugeisha.

drunkencarp
Feb 14, 2012
Y'all's commitment to refuting 28-year-old grog is super commendable.

ascendance
Feb 19, 2013

drunkencarp posted:

Y'all's commitment to refuting 28-year-old grog is super commendable.
Given the nature of grog, there are people still rehashing these 28 year old arguments, so why the gently caress not?

ImpactVector
Feb 24, 2007

HAHAHAHA FOOLS!!
I AM SO SMART!

Uh oh. What did he do now?

Nap Ghost

Harrow posted:

Was it expected, when AD&D was new, that players would carry their characters between campaigns with different DMs (and likely the same setting, barring Planescape/Spelljammer shenanigans)?
I also don't have any experience with this, but yeah, my understanding is that's how it worked.

It's also why the "Monty Haul" DM was so despised. In a modern self-contained campaign it doesn't matter if a DM gives out lots of magic items or accelerates leveling. Getting uptight about that sounds like "they didn't earn their fun" bullshit, right?

But if characters are portable between tables, suddenly you can have someone from a MH group drop in on a table playing RAW and totally blow out the power curve.

Bendigeidfran
Dec 17, 2013

Wait a minute...

drunkencarp posted:

Y'all's commitment to refuting 28-year-old grog is super commendable.

A) People who whine about historical versimilitude being wrong about history is always hilarious. B) This is a nerd forum. We correct people when they are wrong. Doesn't matter if they're dead or fictional or Lord Gygax himself.

Tekopo
Oct 24, 2008

When you see it, you'll shit yourself.


Pretty much what Bendigeidfran said: I found it funny that someone claiming historical veracity can be so wrong about history. Although to be fair, anyone that goes 'LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JAPANESE HONOUR CULTURE' usually knows gently caress-all about actual historical Japan.

OtspIII
Sep 22, 2002

Harrow posted:

With that viewpoint, D&D modules suddenly make a lot more sense to me. I sort of came to DMing/GMing with the intention of building my own setting and adventures from the start, so I never really entertained the idea of running modules.

I really like modules for me B/X games, but I pretty much just use them for low-effort variety. I have one megadungeon that I use as the core of my setting, and then whenever the players want to spend a few weeks doing something else I usually break out a few modules and see what they're interested in. It's still a custom world, but most early modules are really just locations you can plop into your game wherever. Eventually modules got more and more prefabbed story-based, which made them both way more railroady/bad and also hard to insert into a pre-existing world, but most early AD&D modules are pretty flexible.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Tekopo posted:

Pretty much what Bendigeidfran said: I found it funny that someone claiming historical veracity can be so wrong about history. Although to be fair, anyone that goes 'LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JAPANESE HONOUR CULTURE' usually knows gently caress-all about actual historical Japan.

Brother, have you heard the good news about Kaidan: A Japanese Ghost Story?

LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010

Today I'm... amped up!

Bendigeidfran posted:

A) People who whine about historical versimilitude being wrong about history is always hilarious. B) This is a nerd forum. We correct people when they are wrong. Doesn't matter if they're dead or fictional or Lord Gygax himself.

Tekopo posted:

Pretty much what Bendigeidfran said: I found it funny that someone claiming historical veracity can be so wrong about history. Although to be fair, anyone that goes 'LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT JAPANESE HONOUR CULTURE' usually knows gently caress-all about actual historical Japan.

But... but... Gygax-sama!? :japan:

Halloween Jack posted:

Edit: VVV Gygax and the other ground-floor TSR employees had a weird relationship with modules and campaign settings. Their reaction to the first premade adventure they saw (Palace of the Vampire Queen) was confusion as to why anybody would want someone else to create a setting or an adventure for them, instead of doing it themselves. They had originally planned to sell such exciting products as "Outdoor Geomorphs" and "Monster & Treasure Assortments," along with stuff that would've been taken over quickly by other vendors, like hex maps and graph paper.

For exciting products, see Gygax's passioned plea for people to use metric in the RPG that forces you to calculate the human population based upon growth over time and pre- and post-BeetleBorg apocalypse!

http://www.somethingawful.com/dungeons-and-dragons/cyborg-gygax-1987/10/
http://www.somethingawful.com/dungeons-and-dragons/cyborg-gygax-1987/3/

This whole talk about nerds who go 'LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HONORABURU JAPANESE CULTURE, GAIJIN-SAMA' does remind me of a truism. Most people who indulge in a hobby or a topical area are just really interested in that and are pretty OK about their enthusiasm for it.

Then along comes Cat-Piss Man to ruin it for everyone, because he's the guy everyone thinks about when they hear that you like [insert hobby here]. Because your clear objective was to [insert CPM objective here] just like him, instead of [insert something reasonable].

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

LuiCypher posted:

This whole talk about nerds who go 'LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT HONORABURU JAPANESE CULTURE, GAIJIN-SAMA' does remind me of a truism. Most people who indulge in a hobby or a topical area are just really interested in that and are pretty OK about their enthusiasm for it.
The majority of people in Kaidan are xenophobic, perhaps even racist. The government of the empire, like Japan, enforced a closed state for much of its history. Outsiders aren't welcome and citizens are not allowed to leave. Like Japan, the people of Kaidan label those not from Kaidan as 'gaijin' which is a derogatory word for outsider or barbarian. There is even a small port, the only port where outsiders are allowed to land called Gaijinoshima - which is kind of a conjunction of Gaijin no Shima, which means island of the outsiders. The borders of Kaidan have only recently opened to outsiders, the island village of Gaijinoshima was given its name just recently with the allowance of the first 'gaijin' merchant ships, a few years before the start of the adventure timeline.

LuiCypher
Apr 24, 2010

Today I'm... amped up!

Halloween Jack posted:

The majority of people in Kaidan are xenophobic, perhaps even racist. The government of the empire, like Japan, enforced a closed state for much of its history. Outsiders aren't welcome and citizens are not allowed to leave. Like Japan, the people of Kaidan label those not from Kaidan as 'gaijin' which is a derogatory word for outsider or barbarian. There is even a small port, the only port where outsiders are allowed to land called Gaijinoshima - which is kind of a conjunction of Gaijin no Shima, which means island of the outsiders. The borders of Kaidan have only recently opened to outsiders, the island village of Gaijinoshima was given its name just recently with the allowance of the first 'gaijin' merchant ships, a few years before the start of the adventure timeline.

What the gently caress is this and why are these horrible people in my hobby?

Edit: I didn't believe it and I had to look it up. Link here: http://www.ritepublishing.com/images/Kaidan_The_Preview_PFRPG.pdf

LuiCypher fucked around with this message at 19:48 on Jan 20, 2015

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

LuiCypher posted:

What the gently caress is this and why are these horrible people in my hobby?

Edit: I didn't believe it and I had to look it up. Link here: http://www.ritepublishing.com/images/Kaidan_The_Preview_PFRPG.pdf

For those not in on the gag: the creator of Kaidan was a former poster on RPG.net and was known for using the slimmest possible excuses for mentioning his game in thread after thread after thread.

MalcolmSheppard
Jun 24, 2012
MATTHEW 7:20

ocrumsprug posted:

They may have intended RAW franchise consistency for tournament play. However when I was twelve we weren't reading those directions imbedded in Dragon or going to conventions expecting it either.

When we finally figured out how the hell AD&D weapon speed was supposed to worked, we added it to our game. I am not sure that even lasted one one session.

AD&D was impossible to run as written.

I used it all. You need to be prepared to slow down and look stuff up, and then it kind of works. Weapon speed doesn't really come up often as it's more of a thing during surprise rounds and ties. Strike priority, weapon vs. AC and a couple of other things make AD&D a completely different game that's significantly grittier. For instance, bows kind of suck until you use the rules that say they always go first and last each round, when they help you mow down opponents charging into melee. The game is generally designed for a totally different mentality, where you take time to consult the book and have a chat about how it works and how you want it to work. It *is* clunky and teenage me would never have touched it, but the output is interesting.

FMguru
Sep 10, 2003

peed on;
sexually

MalcolmSheppard posted:

I used it all. You need to be prepared to slow down and look stuff up, and then it kind of works. Weapon speed doesn't really come up often as it's more of a thing during surprise rounds and ties. Strike priority, weapon vs. AC and a couple of other things make AD&D a completely different game that's significantly grittier. For instance, bows kind of suck until you use the rules that say they always go first and last each round, when they help you mow down opponents charging into melee. The game is generally designed for a totally different mentality, where you take time to consult the book and have a chat about how it works and how you want it to work. It *is* clunky and teenage me would never have touched it, but the output is interesting.
That actually does sound like a cool idea for a retrogame - a tightly-designed AD&D 1E clone that shows off the gritty combat system and extracts it from the Gygaxian glurp that it's buried under.

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy
A read-through of AD&D to attempt to suss out the "design intent" or practical effect of every rule would be an interesting project.

Small Strange Bird
Sep 22, 2006

Merci, chaton!

gradenko_2000 posted:

A read-through of AD&D to attempt to suss out the "design intent" or practical effect of every rule would be an interesting project.
Has there ever been a FATAL & Friends writeup of 1e?

Harrow
Jun 30, 2012

gradenko_2000 posted:

A read-through of AD&D to attempt to suss out the "design intent" or practical effect of every rule would be an interesting project.

I would read an analysis of this. Probably not the book itself. That prose is just too much. I did my "dense, overwritten prose" time in grad school. (I'd say it's the reason I left academia, but academia is actually the reason I left academia.)

ProfessorCirno
Feb 17, 2011

The strongest! The smartest!
The rightest!
You guys are missing the funniest part of that grog. It's the end, where he goes "maybe female characters would be ok if you weren't running a serious campaign like some kind of fantasy novel."

It's the most basic expression of sexism grog. I can handle dragons and wizards, but female characters, whoh there buddy.

Bendigeidfran
Dec 17, 2013

Wait a minute...
It's even better than that. He's basically saying that the rules for Oriental Adventures, which is full of ninja magic and yokai in the magical land of Kara-Tur, are totally appropriate for a serious campaign set in like 15th-century Ming China. Racism and sexism are old hat for grogs. This dude intends to use D&D to simulate actual history.

Imagine the possibilities! Druids turn back Caesar's invasion of Gaul with a swarm of 10,000 flying bears. Warring States-era Japan is unified by a man who leaps over Mt. Fuji and convinces everyone that he is the moon sun. The Pharoahs' terrifying army of housecats repels Alexander the Great and the Roman Empire. This guy's idiocy actually loops over into brilliance.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Bendigeidfran posted:

This dude intends to use D&D to simulate actual history.
Nothing else compares to the Tao of D&D guy. Nothing.

Edit: A reminder:

quote:

When I have someone run in my world for the first time, in the usual way I would describe what they see: it might, for instance, go like this:

“You’re standing in Paris, at the head of the Rue de Pontoise, where you can gaze along the Quai de Montebello, towards Notre Dame; it has been raining heavily and the streets are flooded an inch deep in water; but movement has taken hold of the city again and artists are setting their canvases up along the Seine. A few teamsters nearby are struggling with a mule. You have been in the city for only a few hours, and here is where you’ve wound up. What do you wish to do?”

Now, from someone unfamiliar with my world, and quite familiar with D&D, I will get some very definite replies. If they are a thief, they will ask, “Do I see anyone with a fat pouch hanging from their belt?”

What is it with this nonsensical Lieberesque perception that rich people carry all their money where it can be clearly seen by thieves? That it wouldn’t occur to them, perhaps, to keep their money a little closer to their persons? Is it Dickens, perhaps, that makes player thieves think that every rich passerby is so much of a fool as to be unaware that there are thieves? And that it is clearly the easiest thing to do to steal money pouches as they pass by, like peaches in an orchard?

No, I will answer. No pouches. “All you see is poor people. You will have to go elsewhere to see them; and you would be hassled by guardsmen to be dressed as you are (the thief is a country lout, far too provincial, and dirty from the road).”

But, the more common reply to the description of origin, regardless of where I start a character off, will be, “I go to a tavern.”

“All right, it takes you a bit to find one, but you ask directions. And here you are at the Sour Bottle.”

So the player will buy a drink, and ask, “where can someone find a little adventure around here?”

And I will have the wine steward (this is France, after all) raise an eyebrow and walk away.

It’s a dumb question, after all.

Usually, what comes next is the player will wait for something to happen. That is, he or she will wait until I give them something to do. Which I won’t. It’s not my responsibility to make sure they have an adventure.

Yes, I know, people think it is. But I talked about that already, remember? I make the world. Running in it is the character’s problem.

I’m not going to have a fight erupt just so the player can jump in; or have someone start randomly giving information about the local thieves’ guild (who would?); or have someone come in and ask if there are any tough adventurers who would like to make a few sous. Seriously, gently caress that.

Look, GOD doesn’t run my life, does he? I run my life…and I like it that way. When the arguments start about how to play D&D, the advice is always directed at the DM. Who needs to invent better adventures, create better magic items, devise more complicated intrigue. Does anyone ever suggest that maybe what we need are better players?

No, they don’t. And that is because the players have no power.

Well, in my world, they do.

Oh, I don’t mean they can walk up to just anybody and start a fight. That will probably end up with them facing odds of five to one (guardsmen have a tendency to multiply with rabbit-like efficiency). Any idiot can start a fight at random and idiots like that will end up in a dungeon and summarily executed. I won’t hesitate to do that as a DM.

But if the character—let’s call him Jack—is clever enough to ask around to find out what the city of Paris taxes heavily, he might discover that the local shop-owners (and the citizens) pay quite dearly for mustard. And he might discover that there’s much mustard that comes in along the east roads from the direction of Dijon. With a little diligence, he might have a lookout for one of these shipments…and after a few crates have been unloaded at a local shop, Jack might approach the poor lackey responsible for the loading and ask how often the deliveries are made—and who makes them.

Whereupon Jack could learn the name of the shipper…probably a very minor merchant who makes little coin for his trouble, with no one but his son for help. Perhaps Jack traces them to their origin (a warehouse outside the city walls, and outside the city’s tax gatherers), has his friends lie in wait along a cramped place in the road in ambush and…

There you go. Jack is now in possession of twenty or thirty kegs of mustard.

Now, he could just take them. Or he could surprise the merchant by buying the mustard…on account, of course. If the merchant is willing to keep silent, until Jack has his money for him in a few days. Oh, and of course the merchant’s son can stay with Jack until then.

So having sent the merchant home to keep quiet, Jack can now re-enter Paris, where he can meet with every one on the mustard merchant’s route. “Of course there will still be deliveries…at a slightly lower cost even…the first will be tomorrow, a day late, and on time thereafter.”

Why wouldn’t all the shopkeepers agree to go on purchasing at Jack’s lower prices? With that settled, there’s just two things left to do. Jack’s pals have to steal themselves a rowboat; Jack, in turn, needs to hire, beg, borrow or steal a horse and cart (the one outside the city gates won’t do). Then its just a matter of slipping down the Seine at night in the boat, with the mustard on board…using the illusionist’s fog spell for cover, or whatever other means—perhaps cutting their way through the underwater cable pulled across the river; and meeting Jack at the appointed time and place.

Oh, Jack might have to backstab a guardsman if he comes along at the right moment—but there are always risks. If everything goes off well, the next day Jack carries his mustard around the shops for a clear profit…well over what he’d get if he tried to carry them through the city gates.

So what, you say? Mustard? What kind of adventure is that?

One that first levels could manage, I think. And which would have all the necessary angst in overcoming the obstacles. Moreover, once Jack was able to bribe the necessary guardsmen along the river (with the profit from his first caper), return the merchant’s son and keep him intimidated (and paid off), there are places the set up could go. Creating a union of merchants outside the walls who could provide the mustard; faster and quicker ways to get the mustard into the city; more shopkeepers ready to climb on board to get a chance at Jack’s prices; competitors ruined and bargain basement acquisitions made; contests with other smugglers trying the same game; further undermining of city officials; expanding into other operations; improving one’s reputation through a combination of income, extortion and reward.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 23:30 on Jan 20, 2015

Bushmeister
Nov 27, 2007
Son Of Northern Frostbitten Wintermoon

The mustard man, with his painstakingly elaborate grognards-idea-of-medieval-europe-but-with-orcs-and-no-gays-version of D&D, always struck me as the ur-grog. To hell with Tarnowski and Zak and Frank and all the others, here's a guy who's so deeply entrenched in his vision of the game he doesn't even need players at the table. If anything, players with their pesky "ideas" and "wants" are errors that need to be corrected, since they do not match up to what he has build his version of D&D to be. It is some sort of fantastical sci-fi construct, an Asimov robot broken by the Three Rules in a way that both mystifies and horrifies.

theironjef
Aug 11, 2009

The archmage of unexpected stinks.

Also if the party has a fighter he can hang around in shops til he hears about mustard prices, then go fight the mustard.

Chill la Chill
Jul 2, 2007

Don't lose your gay


What's wrong with that last quote? You could just end up trying to role play an honest shopkeeper, in the example given. Every session would start just like you'd open up a shop, sweep and restock, all the niceties. Earn a little money, maybe climb the social ladder instead of being a murder hobo.

I've played Econ simulator and model UN with RPG's before. Or keep it in the smaller scale if it's supposed to be "realistic". The Sims is like the most popular RPG and that's all you do in there.

Chill la Chill fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Jan 21, 2015

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Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

As usual, the problem with grog is not necessarily the idea (a low fantasy game about being mustard merchants could be fun if that's your thing) but with the assumption that that is the only realistic and acceptable way to play.

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