Drunk Thread 2015 - "a culturally inappropriate amount of ass"

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Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Spicy Guacamole posted:

This guy knows what he's doing.

Actually, while I have some card-carrying mericans around, someone explain to my why these two things are almost the exact same price and why pisswater beer is not cheap as rear end in this country.

I've already found a couple of micro brew types that I kinda like, but all are expensive as a blue loving mauritius and nothing I can swing for my average evening beer. Some of the stuff is available at Walmart/Safeway/Target starting at 9,99 plus tax for a sixpack and while that's less expensive than paying for the exact same stuff 6 bucks per bottle on average when going out downtown, how the gently caress do college kids get drunk around these parts affordably?

Oh, right...

Also, there was some american dude I met in one of my major's courses and he texts me about what I'm doing that evening, I tell him I don't have plans yet, just shopping at Target and whether he needs something. (like we casually do around here whenever anyone in the international residence hall wanders off campus to grab groceries/booze/etc) He responds with something like "yeah, four sixpacks of Newcastle lol" and while I'm thnking that's maybe a little greedy, I figure I can swing it because my backpack's empty and the water canisters I came to buy have handles. So I waltz back to the dorm, midldy laden with 2x 2.5 gallons of Arrowhead, one sixpack of Angry Orchard cider and four sixpacks of Newcastle.

I swing by his place, knock on the door and - upon opening - get a reaction from him like it's christmas loving day. He scrambles to get his wallet, ends up borrowing another twenty from his roommate (which I found odd, because why would you ask me to buy a bunch of booze when you're not ready to pay for it?), enthusiastically asks me if I want to come in for a beer, I kindly decline because I still had poo poo to do, bid him good day and go back to my brazilian favela where a bunch of unwashed Silvas/Santos/Souzas are playing Fifa 2045, sort out my poo poo for the next day, have a cider and call it a night.

Turns out the guy is 19, can't buy alcohol (yes, yes, I know, but this still doesn't quite compute in my head yet), wasn't serious about 4 sixpacks of anything, invited four friends over on short notice that same evening to show off his bountiful harvest and now I'm apparently his hero or something.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:46

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# ? May 11, 2024 12:04

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Actually, while I have some card-carrying mericans around, someone explain to my why these two things are almost the exact same price and why pisswater beer is not cheap as rear end in this country.

I've already found a couple of micro brew types that I kinda like, but all are expensive as a blue loving mauritius and nothing I can swing for my average evening beer. Some of the stuff is available at Walmart/Safeway/Target starting at 9,99 plus tax for a sixpack and while that's less expensive than paying for the exact same stuff 6 bucks per bottle on average when going out downtown, how the gently caress do college kids get drunk around these parts affordably?

Oh, right...

Also, there was some american dude I met in one of my major's courses and he texts me about what I'm doing that evening, I tell him I don't have plans yet, just shopping at Target and whether he needs something. (like we casually do around here whenever anyone in the international residence hall wanders off campus to grab groceries/booze/etc) He responds with something like "yeah, four sixpacks of Newcastle lol" and while I'm thnking that's maybe a little greedy, I figure I can swing it because my backpack's empty and the water canisters I came to buy have handles. So I waltz back to the dorm, midldy laden with 2x 2.5 gallons of Arrowhead, one sixpack of Angry Orchard cider and four sixpacks of Newcastle.

I swing by his place, knock on the door and - upon opening - get a reaction from him like it's christmas loving day. He scrambles to get his wallet, ends up borrowing another twenty from his roommate (which I found odd, because why would you ask me to buy a bunch of booze when you're not ready to pay for it?), enthusiastically asks me if I want to come in for a beer, I kindly decline because I still had poo poo to do, bid him good day and go back to my brazilian favela where a bunch of unwashed Silvas/Santos/Souzas are playing Fifa 2045, sort out my poo poo for the next day, have a cider and call it a night.

Turns out the guy is 19, can't buy alcohol (yes, yes, I know, but this still doesn't quite compute in my head yet), wasn't serious about 4 sixpacks of anything, invited four friends over on short notice that same evening to show off his bountiful harvest and now I'm apparently his hero or something.

Gip.txt

# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:52

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

the liquor's for when you run out of the beer

# ? Feb 18, 2015 06:55

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

That vodka is basically rubbing alcohol anyways, that's why it's so cheap. The pbr at least uses a little barley with all the rice and grain alcohol. Should've only been like 8 or 9 bucks for the beer, though.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:05

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

While I'm busy sharing my dumb experiences in freedomcoutnry;

Friday, I went to my first house-party and it was like every college-movie ever. One chick'S birthday, Hawaiian theme planned, 15 of her actually-invited friends got the memo, the other 80 people just came drunk.
I take a cab there with four of my spanish/french dudes and within 90 minutes of us being there, some 5'2 chick has latched onto one of our spanish guys. I initially thought they already knew eachother because she was all up in his personal-space, but it turned out she just wanted him in or around her and got extremely hammered within 30 minutes to achieve this goal.

So she tries to woo him in what was the cutest trainwreck I've seen in a long while, he feels like banging a chick with maybe 10 minutes of consciousness left isn't the best way to maintain his J-1 immigration status and subtly bails on her, she's sad about not getting laid, we console her by inviting her to one last game of beer pong, she loudly announces in the garage filled with 30 drunks that "yeah well it's his loss, I'm really great in the sack because I'm a triathlete".

A part of me died of laughter then and there.

Oh, and there was a guy with this exact jacket:

and one of these here:

"You served?", I ask.

Nope. Air Force ROTC, got kicked out once for underage drinking, but it's no biggie, because he could just come back the next year. Gonna be an officer, probably deploy. More underage drinking also no biggie.

Breeding excellence in leadership.
:patriot:

# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:06

Kung Fu Fist Fuck: Aug 9, 2009

you shoulda picked up rico suaves slack bro

# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:27

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

Shoulda convinced ROTC dropout to just enlist

# ? Feb 18, 2015 07:51

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

GENDERWEIRD GREEDO posted:

Is it a new thing for Chrome to completely poo poo itself when it encounters a big gif?

Oh good it's not just me.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 08:37

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

i thought it was ghostery loving up chrome but nope its these loving gifs

even writing a reply is like im using 2400 baud

# ? Feb 18, 2015 08:57

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Slim Pickens posted:

Should've only been like 8 or 9 bucks for the beer, though.

loving hipsters.

poo poo's $10/12pack these days.

Maybe it's just inflation. Still annoying. But it's still dirt cheap in most bars here (buck or two). Busch is still cheaper.

You lucky fucks in states that can sell 30 packs, I've seen $12/30 packs back in illinois, but that's a poo poo poor part of the state. usually busch, old style, natty light, etc.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 11:27

Nostalgia4Infinity: Feb 27, 2007; 10,000 YEARS WASN'T ENOUGH LURKING

Please do not post giant gently caress off gifs.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:07

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

I'm still rocking an iPad 1.

Works great for the kids to watch netflix and poo poo on, even with iOS 6 on it.

It was fine with iOS 7 but 8 bonked all the ipad 2s :argh:

Don't update your old iThing till you hear that other people are running it ok

# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:49

tyler: Jun 2, 2014

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Please do not post giant gently caress off gifs.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 14:54

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

Looks like I'm making 6 figures this year, suckers. Gonna get a UCMGAY personalized license plate on whatever dumb car I buy after I'm done paying off my Infiniti in October, Thinking a Jag XK or F

# ? Feb 18, 2015 15:05

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Booblord Zagats posted:

Looks like I'm making 6 figures this year, suckers. Gonna get a UCMGAY personalized license plate on whatever dumb car I buy after I'm done paying off my Infiniti in October, Thinking a Jag XK or F

F-type. Goddamn they are gorgeous. This current model year will be the last to have rwd if that matters to you. From here on, they'll all be AWD.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 15:45

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

holocaust bloopers posted:

F-type. Goddamn they are gorgeous. This current model year will be the last to have rwd if that matters to you. From here on, they'll all be AWD.

RWD or AWD are the only things I'll own anymore. Anything else is for soccer moms and poors

# ? Feb 18, 2015 15:51

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Sorry your 486 can't handle gifs in the drunk thread maybe we should have a dedicated thread for posting sloppy pointless incoherent ideas and pictures. I wonder what that thread would look like

# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:07

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

This is my safe space to report high nightly and bring back what I've seen. This is where the Event Horizon returns get with it

# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:08

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

i could use the drunk thread as a dream journal

last night i dreamt they actually sent paperwork confirming that i'm a civilian again :sigh:

# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:13

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

its funny, i never had dreams i ever got called back in to the navy. but i did have nightmares about getting sent back to highschool.

# ? Feb 18, 2015 16:48

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

my email posted:

Zeris,

I have a student who is doing an inquiry project on the military. He�s struggling in school and keeps toying with the idea of signing up and wants to investigate what the military experience offers people. Would you be willing to be someone he can interview and use for primary research?
I�ve attached a copy of the assignment to give you some context for the work.

The communication would be limited to the next few weeks when the project is due, and I suspect it would all take place via email.

If this seems like you are something open to, let me know and I�ll introduce you two via email. If not, no worries at all. I know how busy life is.

Thanks for considering,

Writing Professor Lady

heh

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:37

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
Do Crime!

Zeris posted:

heh

well, are you?

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:43

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Put him in touch with shim instead

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:48

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Yeah of course I am // perhaps we can crowdsource answers in the hangout // I just used the word crowdsource with sincerity; please kill me

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:50

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

tell him to enlist 18x

# ? Feb 18, 2015 17:51

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:05

Dingleberry: Aug 21, 2011

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/01/joe-goes-full-biden-at-senate-swearing-in.html

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:08

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

Dingleberry posted:

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2015/01/joe-goes-full-biden-at-senate-swearing-in.html

lmbo loving denied

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:44

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

ded posted:

lmbo loving denied

jeeeeeeezus

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:57

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

a dumb old article you shouldn't read because I posted the only good part posted:

Last month, the Army�s No. 2 officer and top mental-health advocate, General Peter Chiarelli, used PTS repeatedly before opening up about the change. �I drop the D,� he said. �That word is a dirty word.�

http://nation.time.com/2011/06/05/the-disappearing-disorder-why-ptsd-is-becoming-pts/

# ? Feb 18, 2015 18:58