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Serious Discussion only, please. I'm not curious about becoming a transgender, I'm pretty firm in my own ways but I am curious however what life is like for someone who changes their gender. When I think of transgender, I first think about a bunch of privileged San Francisco residents, but I realized later that not all people of any group can be generalized and that there will always be exceptions. Anyways, now I've come to think of transgender as a facet of transhumanism. For now we are getting artificial limbs and changing our genders, but maybe in the future we may be undergoing operations or using new technology to simulate other entire lives. Maybe we want to see what it's like to be a Chinese farmer in 1500s, or something like that. On the surface transgender is simplistic, but I think that it's worth opening a discussion up and getting into the meat of the issue. Lay it on me.
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Apr 10, 2015 03:54
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Firstly, don't say "a transgender". It's like saying "a gay" or "a black". Trans or transgender people, trans woman, etc. Secondly, for people who transition their sex by way of taking hormones and whatnot, it's primarily a medical condition and not a culture. There is a culture of people who share the condition and all of the problems that come with it, but that's not the same thing. Being transgender also doesn't have anything to do with willfully transgressing cultural norms and certainly isn't transhumanism, because there have been trans people all throughout history all around the world and in that sense it's an inherent part of humanity. There's not much else to touch on here because your ignorance of the topic is pretty profound. Maybe skim some more Wikipedia articles.
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Apr 10, 2015 22:57
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Ormi posted:There's not much else to touch on here because your ignorance of the topic is pretty profound. Maybe skim some more Wikipedia articles. This just about sums up "transgender culture".
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Apr 11, 2015 05:59
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Ormi posted:Firstly, don't say "a transgender". It's like saying "a gay" or "a black". Trans or transgender people, trans woman, etc. Are you yourself a "transgender people"? If so then do you personally feel that you might be a bit overly sensitive, or does your average trans-person honestly feel upset over a term most people use in an effort to be pc? I know this question probably comes off as snarky, but I'm genuinely interested because one of the things I always find confusing about the LGBT community is how quickly the terms they at one point use to describe themselves seemingly turn into derogatory terms.
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Apr 11, 2015 21:18
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Ormi posted:There's not much else to touch on here because your ignorance of the topic is pretty profound. This is the hallmark of A/T.
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Apr 11, 2015 21:39
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Liar posted:Are you yourself a "transgender people"? If so then do you personally feel that you might be a bit overly sensitive, or does your average trans-person honestly feel upset over a term most people use in an effort to be pc? I know this question probably comes off as snarky, but I'm genuinely interested because one of the things I always find confusing about the LGBT community is how quickly the terms they at one point use to describe themselves seemingly turn into derogatory terms. Uh, I'm pretty sure it was a strictly a grammar issue.
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Apr 11, 2015 21:53
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Sockmuppet posted:Uh, I'm pretty sure it was a strictly a grammar issue. "A transgender" sounds really off to me, as does calling someone "a gay", but "a lesbian" sounds OK and I'm not sure why.
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Apr 12, 2015 01:43
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Probably because -ian is a common suffix used in that way. Christian, Russian, politician. Which makes sense, considering Lesbos is a place.
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Apr 12, 2015 05:27
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Liar posted:Are you yourself a "transgender people"? If so then do you personally feel that you might be a bit overly sensitive, or does your average trans-person honestly feel upset over a term most people use in an effort to be pc? I know this question probably comes off as snarky, but I'm genuinely interested because one of the things I always find confusing about the LGBT community is how quickly the terms they at one point use to describe themselves seemingly turn into derogatory terms. On a strictly grammatical level, it's very awkward. Same thing with "transgendered", on the same basis that "lesbianed" would sound very out of place. That being said, I will be the first to admit that a small minority of the LGBT community is obsessed with the euphemistic treadmill and when people who are not acquainted with the jargon end up making a mistake it's interpreted as willful bigotry, i.e.: Oh, they used an asterisks after the word "trans", clearly a bigot and therefore not worth engaging with. As for OP, as someone has mentioned, your ignorance of the subject does seem to run pretty deep. You've made being trans and wondering what it's like to be a Chinese peasant farmer into an analogous situation, which would suggest to me that you assume that being trans is simply a curiosity some people develop. Also, I believe you're using "gender" in the incorrect context for this conversation, because gender describes a social condition that varies from culture to culture and you're describing a sex change (I think), which are two different entities altogether. Finally, the phrase "becoming a transgender" still implies a certain level of conscious decision making in the process, as if questioning your gender identity is similar to waking up and going, "You know, I'm going to start eating more whole grains." It often doesn't work that way. No offense, but it sort of seems like rather than Google some very basic information, you've collected a bizarre array of assumptions and then asked other people to either confirm or deny them. If you do have a genuine interest in learning more, first ask yourself why you assumed the things that you did, eg: How did you arrive to the conclusion that most trans people are wealthy? (Hint: They usually are not.)
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Apr 12, 2015 18:08
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On the off chance that this isn't an elaborate troll, let me try and answer the question in the way I think would benefit you most. Most people are straight, without any particular gender/sex malarkey. Some people are not. These are facts. You can choose to do 1 of 3 things with these facts, listed here in order of least obnoxious to most obnoxious, and coincidentally, also listed in order of ease. 1. Accept that these people exist, but you've a pretty good chance at never really running into one, at least in a situation that would really affect your life in any way. Let them do their situation, and get interested in something other than Gender Politics, because unless you have a stake in it you're really just kinda intruding. This is the Apathy stance. 2. Re-invent the wheel by taking your 2 semesters of Psych and applying it to LGBT stuff, probably starting from somewhere like "well, if they won't physically die from having a penis when they think they shouldn't, then it's not biological, it's emotional/mental! I wonder if there's a way to fix their emotional/mental issues such that it won't offend them!" Etc. This is the Hey, I'm Just Asking Questions. 3. Become an ally. Read a thousand Wikipedia pages, get a tumblr, go to support groups and marches, post on FB about LGBT issues all the time, just really dive headfirst into being as supportive as possible until it consumes you entirely. Do the best you can to make sure that your life, from this moment on, is a never ending series of apologies to people you will most likely never meet. This is the Hey, Me Too. I suggest #1, closing the thread, and the next time you watch a John Waters movie, just accept that Divine is weird without having to dissect it.
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Apr 12, 2015 19:17
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I was just trying to get a feel for what Transgender people think/feel when they go about actually changing their gender. I've little to no interest in the politics of it, but rather the psychological elements of someone who thinks they are the wrong gender.
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Apr 12, 2015 21:17
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crime posted:I was just trying to get a feel for what Transgender people think/feel when they go about actually changing their gender. I've little to no interest in the politics of it, but rather the psychological elements of someone who thinks they are the wrong gender. It would be unwise to try and divorce the politics from the experience as they are part and parcel of one another. As for what trans people feel/think, there are hundreds of thousands of incredibly different experiences and that's a little like asking, "What does it feel like to be taller than 5'9"?" because the experience is going to vary immensely. I suspect what you're actually looking for is more along the lines of some Nature Channel poo poo where you can ruminate on how different someone else is from you without actually having to put in the effort of just using Google like a normal person.
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Apr 12, 2015 23:22
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There's a transgender megathread in E/N but it's kind of a shitshow with how many trolls show up. We never turn away people with sincere questions, though!
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Apr 12, 2015 23:38
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crime posted:I was just trying to get a feel for what Transgender people think/feel when they go about actually changing their gender. I've little to no interest in the politics of it, but rather the psychological elements of someone who thinks they are the wrong gender. I'll try my best to give you a quick answer that seems to relevant to your level of knowledge on the subject. I'm going to ignore the rampant PC mistakes and let everyone else take care on educating you exactly the ins and outs of the trans experience. The simplest answer to your question is to let you know, that the process of what you've called "changing your gender" takes a very very long time. Even assuming that you want to completely throw away 30+ years of western cultural progress in educating people and dumb things down to a mere medical operation, in order to have that operation you generally need to have lived (and have it verified by 2 or more professionals) as the opposite sex 24/7, for 18 months, super bare minimum. Even the process of a transgender person living as what you call "the opposite gender" on a 24/7 basis can take a very long time to get up to. Now that you hopefully have a little better understanding of how the answer to your question could literally be book-length, let me give you a quick summary of what I think you're trying to get at and understand. The process you're referring to is called "transition", before and during a transgender person's transition, the entire experience is one of self-discovery, many describe it as a journey. Trans people, even to get to the point of being able to realize they are transgender and commit to a transition, have already had quite a journey to go through at that point in most circumstances. The biggest part of transitioning, and the easiest way to think of and describe transitioning to someone who will never have to experience it, is a continual process of self-discovery. There is a puzzle, you can finally see the pieces of this puzzle, and as a transgender person begins to assemble this puzzle and it's pieces, each success enables them to feel a bit more like a real person. It's a situation and experience that is extremely difficult if not near impossible to explain completely to a person who hasn't had to deal with those feelings, problems, conflicts and internal sense that *something* is out of place, or wrong. Quite simply, there is an integral part of a trans person's brain which is misaligned with their body, and the solution is to change the body because the brain in this instance is beyond a scientific doubt hard-coded so to speak. Having grown up with this wrong body from minute one of their life causes a person to accumulate layers upon layers of problems from social, to mental, to cultural even in some cases biological. During a trans person's transition they are not only discovering more of themselves, and becoming more of themselves, they're also finally able to identify and work to resolve the myriad of issues these problems cause. In addtion, most societies/cultures today hold at least some sort of harsh, negative stigma against trans people, which only makes this entire journey that much more difficult, and a person in transition also needs deal with the problems and issues caused by that as well. Hope that tells you or someone, something useful. Hope you're not trolling. Thanks for asking I suppose, it's always nice when people seek knowledge instead of ouright hating or fearing the different and unknown. However, please know, many trans people find a lot of the viewpoints you've expressed, possibly unknowingly, rather hurtful. It would be much appreciated if you could educate yourself on some of the absolute basics before attempting to directly engage and inquiry a heavily stigmatized and discriminated against group of people, especially as it seems you're just doing it for personal curiosity's sake. Good luck, thanks for reading. Reasonerr fucked around with this message at 00:56 on Apr 13, 2015 |
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Apr 13, 2015 00:35
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crime posted:I was just trying to get a feel for what Transgender people think/feel when they go about actually changing their gender. I've little to no interest in the politics of it, but rather the psychological elements of someone who thinks they are the wrong gender. I'm speaking as a mental health professional who has worked with transgender people, not as a person who is transgender. In my experience, you cannot divorce the politics of it because a the greatest proportion of the experience of any person who is transgender is shaped by the specific cultural context from which they draw their experience. The experiences of a person who is transgender would be very different in a rural and conservative nation than one where social services, systems of support, and broad, cultural acceptance is a common experience. Similarly, the experience of "changing ones gender" would, again, be premised significantly on the interactions between the person and the culture in which they choose to transition. Transitioning has massive implications in countries which don't allow legal changes in gender, for example, or in countries where there is no legal protections from discrimination.
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Apr 13, 2015 04:43
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Speaking as someone who is actually transgender (but too tired to go into my personal story tonight), I'm going to mostly just agree with the two people above me for now. Here's the few pieces I'll add on on top of it. I'm going to toss out a phrase here: gender dysphoria. It's a fancy phrase that basically represents all the dissonance someone has with regards to the gender they were born into, and the kind of person they actually want to be. There's probably better explanations out there but I'm using this one because it's simple. Without getting into detail, a lot of the way transgender people deal with their dysphoria is to start trying to realize what makes them uncomfortable with the way they are, and then make changes to their life to be more comfortable with themselves. Come to think of it, that previous sentence sounds quite universal, and it really is! The only difference it's gender dysphoria, so all of the discomfort here relates to gender bullshit...which happens to be really broad and encompasses many different aspects of our lives so gender dysphoria hits a lot of really different areas and can very easily be overwhelming to deal with. No one really knows what causes gender dysphoria. Even for identical twins, one will be hit with it and the other won't. But then again we don't really know what causes people to be gay either, so I suppose it's not that surprising. Also everyone who has gender dysphoria experiences it differently. Every transgender person has their story. Their own reasons for transitioning, with different priories for their transition. For example, I'm actually quite fine with my body, as long as I have the freedom to take care of it and dress it up as I want. My transition is much more social, by making sure that I don't get held back by ugly gender norms. (Again, too tired to explain much more than that right now) Anyway, you strike me as genuinely curious so if you have anymore questions, go ahead and shoot. I'm also part of a transgender support group (none of the rest of them are goons) that meets in a couple days so if you have questions I can't answer comfortably (or because it's a case where "everyone's different") I can toss it their way and report back.
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Apr 13, 2015 05:57
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crime posted:I was just trying to get a feel for what Transgender people think/feel when they go about actually changing their gender. I've little to no interest in the politics of it, but rather the psychological elements of someone who thinks they are the wrong gender. I would like to refer you to one of the better books written by a transwoman: Whipping Girl. It is not a very long book, but she describes lots of the psychological and emotional issues before, during and after her transition. For an example of a contrast, one good book that is written by someone who is not transgender, I'd like to refer you to is Self Made Man. vv For a book that discusses some of the hormonal differences between men and women, I would like to refer you to the book Female Brain. There are a number of hormonal differences between male and female fetuses and children. One of which is a higher level of estrogen between 6 and 24 months. Girls who don't get that surge (perhaps because they've got some medical condition involving estrogen insensitivity) don't develop as typical girls: they behave and play like boys do. They aren't boys, they are fully functional females who will grow into fertile women, yet their brain doesn't get wired like girls' brains do. Hormonal levels during pregnancy, as well as stress levels of the mother, can cause developmental differences. Also being transgender is inextricably linked to politics. Especially who can use which bathroom.
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Apr 14, 2015 18:27
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Serrath posted:I'm speaking as a mental health professional who has worked with transgender people, not as a person who is transgender. In my experience, you cannot divorce the politics of it because a the greatest proportion of the experience of any person who is transgender is shaped by the specific cultural context from which they draw their experience. The experiences of a person who is transgender would be very different in a rural and conservative nation than one where social services, systems of support, and broad, cultural acceptance is a common experience. Similarly, the experience of "changing ones gender" would, again, be premised significantly on the interactions between the person and the culture in which they choose to transition. Transitioning has massive implications in countries which don't allow legal changes in gender, for example, or in countries where there is no legal protections from discrimination. Except many trans persons start feeling trans way before politics becomes a thing, what you are saying really doesn't make sense. What you are talking about is the experience of being trans, which is different than the feelings that occur often early in life.
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Apr 14, 2015 20:05
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One thing that I kinda wondered: do transguys have it easier or harder than transwomen? A drinking buddy of mine is a transguy and his response was that he wasn't sure, but it seemed like it was easier to 'pass' as a dude than as a woman. He's also a libertarian. On the other hand Boys Don't Cry and all that. Grand Prize Winner fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Apr 14, 2015 |
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Apr 14, 2015 20:52
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Huttan posted:Also being transgender is inextricably linked to politics. Especially who can use which bathroom. I never believed I lived in a utopia, then I experienced unisex bathrooms.
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Apr 14, 2015 21:08
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Grand Prize Winner posted:One thing that I kinda wondered: do transguys have it easier or harder than transwomen? A drinking buddy of mine is a transguy and his response was that he wasn't sure, but it seemed like it was easier to 'pass' as a dude than as a woman. He's also a libertarian. Personally, I think it's easier to be a trans man for the following reasons: - male puberty has more irreversible secondary sexual characteristic changes than female puberty such as hair growth, vocal changes, etc so post-puberty hormone therapy does a better job at making trans men pass -hormone replacement therapy is cheaper and simpler for trans men - the average person is more aware of trans women than trans men, so is more likely to overlook "tells" of transness in men - trans men have it a lot easier if they don't pass, because it's much more socially acceptable for women to wear men's clothes than the converse - because of these factors + sexism, on average trans women make 30% less income post-transition, but trans men make about the same Otoh sexual reassignment surgery generally has worse results for trans men, for obvious practical reasons. So trans men are more likely to never get SRS, which can cause additional problems in areas where that's a legal prerequisite to get gender changed on your identifying documents. But other than that, I think they get the better break.
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Apr 14, 2015 22:58
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tsa posted:Except many trans persons start feeling trans way before politics becomes a thing, what you are saying really doesn't make sense. What you are talking about is the experience of being trans, which is different than the feelings that occur often early in life. My post was in response to the OP stating that he wasn't interested in disengaging the political considerations when investigating the culture of people who are transsexual. My reply was that, whether he wanted to or not, culture is a contextual thing and the politics and environment around the person who is transexual will have an enormous influence on the culture they exhibit, so you cannot divorce the politics from the consideration of the culture. I didn't think that point was controversial. You're right in saying that people feel in their opposite gender long before politics may in their conscious awareness but it's ignorant to assume that their experience isn't still moderated to a considerable extent by politics. A transexual child will exhibit vastly different cultural characteristics in an environment where they're allowed to live and play in their desired gender or an environment with parents who allow their child to take medications to delay the onset of puberty. The feelings of being transexual occur independent to the reaction your environment will have to these feelings but you cannot deny that a supportive or punitive environment will have enormous implications for how one develops their personal and cultural identity with respect to being transsexual. You don't need to be aware of politics to be massively impacted by politics.
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Apr 14, 2015 23:07
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Also, do women have the same irrational fear about trans men "tricking" them into being gay as a lot of men do about trans women? I think that's probably a surprisingly large factor in a lot of the hatred directed toward trans women.
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Apr 14, 2015 23:07
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PT6A posted:Also, do women have the same irrational fear about trans men "tricking" them into being gay as a lot of men do about trans women? I think that's probably a surprisingly large factor in a lot of the hatred directed toward trans women. I don't understand your scare quotes, trick is a thing some people identify as if they look super like a girl but have a surprise bonus penis
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Apr 14, 2015 23:11
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PT6A posted:Also, do women have the same irrational fear about trans men "tricking" them into being gay as a lot of men do about trans women? I think that's probably a surprisingly large factor in a lot of the hatred directed toward trans women.
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Apr 14, 2015 23:15
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Arnold of Soissons posted:I don't understand your scare quotes, trick is a thing some people identify as if they look super like a girl but have a surprise bonus penis A trap is what you're thinking of, some traps might turn tricks but it's not quite the same thing.
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Apr 15, 2015 19:46
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Arnold of Soissons posted:I don't understand your scare quotes, trick is a thing some people identify as if they look super like a girl but have a surprise bonus penis it seems you didn't understand the parts outside the quotes, either. As said, not only are you thinking of "trap", but "trick" in this context (these are regular quotes and not the "scary" type) means that there are lots of people who think transwomen only go dating so when they're back home and in the bedroom, they can troll people with their penis before vanishing into thin air.
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Apr 15, 2015 20:18
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Flagrant Abuse posted:In my 100% anecdotal experience, no. In fact I honestly can't remember ever meeting any cisgender women having that fear, though I've met a couple cis lesbians who have a similar irrational fear about trans women "tricking" them straight. Maybe I'm just a really dumb lesbian, but what? Is that really a common fear, that I'd meet some nice lady, we'd go home and OMG she has a dick and she said she was a real woman and cue meltdown? ....that can't be a real thing, just like straight guys always seem to be afraid of a gay guy hitting on them would turn them gay.
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Apr 15, 2015 23:08
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Cowslips Warren posted:Maybe I'm just a really dumb lesbian, but what? Is that really a common fear, that I'd meet some nice lady, we'd go home and OMG she has a dick and she said she was a real woman and cue meltdown? ....that can't be a real thing, just like straight guys always seem to be afraid of a gay guy hitting on them would turn them gay.
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Apr 15, 2015 23:33
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Cowslips Warren posted:Maybe I'm just a really dumb lesbian, but what? Is that really a common fear, that I'd meet some nice lady, we'd go home and OMG she has a dick and she said she was a real woman and cue meltdown? ....that can't be a real thing, just like straight guys always seem to be afraid of a gay guy hitting on them would turn them gay. I don't know about women, but it's a very real thing among straight guys and totally a thing that trans women get murdered over, because a "dude" "tricked" them.
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Apr 16, 2015 00:01
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crime posted:Serious Discussion only, please. Where are you from? I don't mean that rhetorically I actually want to know. At least in all the cities I've lived in trans people are seen as an "after dark" subculture, doing drugs and turning tricks etc. I'm not saying it's true or nice or appropriate, but in general people are way less welcoming to trans people IRL than they are on the Internet where it's all "you go girl you look beautiful <3" when someone takes a selfie with makeup on. They get poo poo on constantly and hassled by almost every other group and it shows, and they're easy targets for bigots and the police. Hopefully it will get better soon now that the Internet in general is more accepting but if you get out there in the world you'll see that it's a difficult life for many trans people and there's no privilege for them at all. E: I don't mean all trans people
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Apr 16, 2015 16:32
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Cowslips Warren posted:Maybe I'm just a really dumb lesbian, but what? Is that really a common fear, that I'd meet some nice lady, we'd go home and OMG she has a dick and she said she was a real woman and cue meltdown? ....that can't be a real thing, just like straight guys always seem to be afraid of a gay guy hitting on them would turn them gay. I guess to a lot of people, part of the sexual attraction is also connected to the genitals in some way. If I was bisexual I wouldn't really care one way or the other, but I'm not so I tend to sway towards cis women. So due to the rather patriarchal standards of society, there's some fellas who for real overreact and turn violent because "they're absolutely not gay, bruh", since penis = man in their mind. And I wouldn't be surprised to find similar viewpoints amongst some lesbians either, there's a (probably lage?) part of the feminist movement that completely refuses to regard/validate transwomen as women. There's probably a less problematic way of expressing what I'm trying to say, so if this comes off as kinda oppressive/transphobic somehow, I apologise. ulvir fucked around with this message at 10:25 on Apr 25, 2015 |
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Apr 25, 2015 10:19
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ulvir posted:I guess to a lot of people, part of the sexual attraction is also connected to the genitals in some way. If I was bisexual I wouldn't really care one way or the other, but I'm not so I tend to sway towards cis women. So due to the rather patriarchal standards of society, there's some fellas who for real overreact and turn violent because "they're absolutely not gay, bruh", since penis = man in their mind. And I wouldn't be surprised to find similar viewpoints amongst some lesbians either, there's a (probably lage?) part of the feminist movement that completely refuses to regard/validate transwomen as women. Yeah, I think that there's some connection between sexual attraction and, shall we say, genital configuration rather than gender, but I think gender is also an important part of it. I suspect, but am not certain, that I would not be attracted to a trans woman with a penis, but I'm 100% sure that I wouldn't be attracted to a trans man with a vagina, because I don't find men attractive no matter what genitals they have. This has nothing to do the violence that trans people (particularly women) face as a result of "tricking" people. I'm secure enough in my sexuality to either say, "not my cup of tea," and leave it at that, or, if it turns out I am still attracted to the person, to continue.
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Apr 25, 2015 16:53
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In my ignorant opinion about "being tricked", shouldn't you be honest and say that you're trans BEFORE dating someone?
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Apr 26, 2015 15:57
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AdorableStar posted:In my ignorant opinion about "being tricked", shouldn't you be honest and say that you're trans BEFORE dating someone? The alternative is usually being refused completely before they even get to know you because they don't want to be "gay"
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Apr 26, 2015 16:07
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Krysmphoenix posted:The alternative is usually being refused completely before they even get to know you because they don't want to be "gay" Well then that's their choice to refuse you and you should respect that until you find someone who is willing to accept you? I'm willing to bet that the majority of people who would refuse you outright without knowing you still won't change their minds once it's revealed to them as a suprise later on, and then they feel like you were lying to them from the start.
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Apr 26, 2015 16:13
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AdorableStar posted:Well then that's their choice to refuse you and you should respect that until you find someone who is willing to accept you? I'm willing to bet that the majority of people who would refuse you outright without knowing you still won't change their minds once it's revealed to them as a suprise later on, and then they feel like you were lying to them from the start. Well, I never said I agreed with it, but that is the basic mindset. I also think it layers onto the whole concept of passing. Trans people who can pass better may want to disclose it less because they don't want to create complications in their social life. The real question is telling them now or later worth the risk? And with their life being complicated by being trans already, we don't really have the right to make that decision for someone else. That said, I introduce myself as trans to all of my roommates' friends who come over, and that's how I met my current partner. When things started to build up I asked them out, but they weren't comfortable dating someone who was trans at first. We had a solid friendship and I was able to clear away any doubts and confusion.
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Apr 26, 2015 16:31
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AdorableStar posted:In my ignorant opinion about "being tricked", shouldn't you be honest and say that you're trans BEFORE dating someone? The only reason my trans status should be a dealbreaker is sex-related. And that's fair enough. But there are a lot of other things that are likely to be sexual dealbreakers (fetishes, widely differing libidos, etc.) and nobody's expected to disclose those before the first date -- in fact, doing so would be creepy and overly forward. Also, waiting 'til you know your date a bit better to disclose your trans status helps screen out bigots and blabbermouths. It's much easier to be trans when the whole world doesn't know about it.
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Apr 27, 2015 04:36
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I don't think it should only be sex-related; what if someone legitimately does not want to date trans people? Call them what you want, but if they don't want to, and the topic does not come up between you, what happens during the big reveal? Or during the middle of dating? Getting to know them a bit, I don't think, helps screen out anyone. It just means you wasted your time with someone who was going to be some blabbermouth anyways.
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Apr 27, 2015 14:40
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While receiving a bunch of first-pass rejections would be pretty damaging to your self-esteem, I imagine hiding your trans status until you get to know and really mesh with a person, only to get rejected at that stage, would be worse psychologically. But then, maybe people are also more open-minded after getting to know you.AdorableStar posted:I don't think it should only be sex-related; what if someone legitimately does not want to date trans people? I imagine the theory goes that if a trans person managed to completely swap physical characteristics, such that they were indistinguishable from somebody born that gender, then it would be somewhat difficult to justify a prejudice against trans people simply for not being born that gender, as opposed to being that gender now.
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Apr 27, 2015 15:22
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