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Xythe
Aug 4, 2010

Stop getting mad at video games. No stop insulting his mother what is wrong with you.
Really the only thing Darkness 2 did better than 1 is the minions, sorta. I liked having one dude with a personality and more mechanics you directly control instead of a bunch of gimmicky psychopaths, but I can also see how some may prefer the minions in 1.

The darkness powers were also mechanically better in 2 but not as cool as 1.

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Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.
The minions were annoying monkeycheese bullshit that should have been left out entirely, or made completely silent. Yes, they were basically Gremlins, but the comic was garbage and the less they included of it in the game the better.

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me

I tried to read the first few issues of The Darkness and it decided to make the main character the most intensely unlikeable homicidal maniac gangster douchebag who looks like he's 30 but is supposed to be 17 and then decided you're supposed to feel sorry for him because he turned 18 and can suddenly summon gremlins in the space of a page.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


A really creepy and weird thing from the comics is that once a Darkness bearer conceived a kid they died. It had absolutely no bearing on the plot except that Jackie had to wear a condom to have sex or (even creepier) use his powers to create a sex puppet.

khwarezm
Oct 26, 2010

Deal with it.

Screaming Idiot posted:



The first Darkness game was pretty loving awesome. It looked gritty and cinematic, and it had satisfying conclusion: Jackie gets his revenge, but the Darkness claims him. But then the sequel comes along and "LOL! Nope, he ends up okay, and he's now a mob boss! gently caress your detailed photorealism, enjoy your cel-shaded pile of hot garbage based directly on a mediocre license nobody gives a poo poo about!"

I played the sequel for about fifteen minutes before putting in its case and trading it in. I had already given up after the opening spiel as told by a jittery crack addict.

The visuals on the Darkness 1 have not aged well, as does most 'photo-realistic' stuff after some time, and honestly I'm glad they tried to be more visually interesting.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

khwarezm posted:

The visuals on the Darkness 1 have not aged well, as does most 'photo-realistic' stuff after some time, and honestly I'm glad they tried to be more visually interesting.

It's aged better than most, and it had a good, creepy mood about it. The second one is just generic comic book garbage.

EDIT: Garbage garbage garbage Jesus effing Christ I need a thesaurus.

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007

khwarezm posted:

The visuals on the Darkness 1 have not aged well, as does most 'photo-realistic' stuff after some time, and honestly I'm glad they tried to be more visually interesting.

Jackie's model in the first game was embarrassing to look at.

The second one was generic, but at least it wasn't a chore to play.

khwarezm
Oct 26, 2010

Deal with it.

Oxxidation posted:

Jackie's model in the first game was embarrassing to look at.

Seriously, its the most DARK AND EDGY crap I've seen in a long time.

At least in the second game he cut his hair and got rid of the stupid trench-coat.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica
ANother thing that hasn't aged well with the original Darkness was how small and claustrophobic the maps are. It really puts a damper on the hell sequences when you're supposed to be in some vast unending WWI no-man's land but when you actually climb out of the trenches you're in tiny walled-in fields that they try and disguise with fog.

Vic
Nov 26, 2009

malae fidei cum XI_XXVI_MMIX
David Cage is the thing dragging his games down.

There are two (three?) attempted rape scenes in Beyond Two Souls. All of those have no impact on the story whatsoever. None. This man felt it's necessary for a story about a girl modelled and mocapped by Ellen Page and her ghost protector to include two rape scenes which are then immediatelly followed by another scene where she's six (due to his clever nonlinear narrative). And I'm not being sensationalist here, it's not implied, it's full blown sexual assault.

You help give birth to a baby via QTEs.


But hell maybe he was just trying something new, what about Heavy Rain, his previous game? Explicit rape attempt but don't worry it's just a bad dream! Random rape guys lol what a dream! No it also has nothing to do with the story.

You will have to strip at a gunpoint tho. You're playing as a woman remember?

What about a bad sex scene in a very VERY bad time for the main characters storywise, done via QTEs? Yup. Dave's got you covered.
For the record the timing is bad because the main character's child is being held by a serial killer under a sewer grate slowly drowning and your goal is to find him before it's too late


Alright now those games have plenty other bad and nonsensical things happening but you can handwave that because you didn't really expect any better from the medium. But not this kind of poo poo. These games were given awards for the concepts they were dealing with. But once you start playing you'll find you're playing dolls with a creepy guy who's asking you if you maybe want to rape barbie now?

Vic has a new favorite as of 02:40 on May 12, 2015

Hel
Oct 9, 2012

Jokatgulm is tedium.
Jokatgulm is pain.
Jokatgulm is suffering.

Vic posted:

David Cage and rape
Didn't Omikron have the main character(which is you, the player) commit rape by deception a few minutes into the game? It's an established part of David cage games.

Vic
Nov 26, 2009

malae fidei cum XI_XXVI_MMIX

Hel posted:

Didn't Omikron have the main character(which is you, the player) commit rape by deception a few minutes into the game? It's an established part of David cage games.

Technically you're asked by the npc to take over his body and become the pc giving you the control of his body. Which is p. creepy in this context but at the loving least it's consensual!

EDIT: And there are no QTEs for foreplay

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica
Like most of the stuff in his games the rapes are mostly stolen from movies, so the second you walked into that bar and saw that pinball machine you should have gone NOPE and turned around and left.

Vic
Nov 26, 2009

malae fidei cum XI_XXVI_MMIX
But that's not what happens? The thing dragging this game down is she gets not raped on the pool table after playing Galaga.

Leal
Oct 2, 2009

Vic posted:

a girl modelled and mocapped by Ellen Page

That they also modeled as anatomically correct. Don't forget that.

Jokymi
Jan 31, 2003

Sweet Sassy Molassy

muscles like this? posted:

The worst is actually Prince of Persia 08, where the original ending has the main character letting the bad guy win in order to save the princess and the game just kind of ending with that. Then they released DLC which actually gave the game a real ending.
The DLC is in no way a real ending. It's just the characters talking about what happened in the original ending for an hour while fighting the same enemies you fought in the main game and then abruptly ends with a hook to a sequel that will never come. The game is much stronger as it was originally released without the epilogue DLC

Heavy Lobster
Oct 24, 2010

:gowron::m10:

Zaphod42 posted:

It looks like a "come play my lord" style facebook ad. You need your eyes checked.

They both look like banner ads, one was just made for Angelfire.

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!
Comparing VI and VII to III is a pointless endeavor anyway.

Because V blew them all out of the water so hard, by making the cities really lovingly-rendered 3D scenes that you could explore with the camera.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5ATfMxkD4Q

This is the best video I could find to showcase it. Seriously, what the gently caress Ubisoft, you went backwards on THIS part?

Cleretic has a new favorite as of 08:41 on May 12, 2015

Hel
Oct 9, 2012

Jokatgulm is tedium.
Jokatgulm is pain.
Jokatgulm is suffering.

Vic posted:

Technically you're asked by the npc to take over his body and become the pc giving you the control of his body. Which is p. creepy in this context but at the loving least it's consensual!

EDIT: And there are no QTEs for foreplay

And then you go gently caress his girlfriend while she thinks you are him. Which is rape.

Hel has a new favorite as of 08:46 on May 12, 2015

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Hel posted:

And then you go gently caress his girlfriend while she thinks you are him. Which is rape.

gotta work that short-brown-haired girl sexing in somewhere, its a david cage game

grittyreboot
Oct 2, 2012

So I've been replaying the new Tomb Raider and on my play through, I liked that the characters had a sense of history with each other. Upon replaying it though, does it really make sense that Lara gets to bring her dad's buddies along with her? She's a grad student work under a world famous archaeologist. Why did she get to pick the crew?

I'm assuming that her dad was also an archaeologist, then why did he train her to use guns and bows?

Also, Roth repeatedly reminds her to trust her instincts, but we never really see her doubting them.

Convex
Aug 19, 2010

grittyreboot posted:

So I've been replaying the new Tomb Raider and on my play through, I liked that the characters had a sense of history with each other. Upon replaying it though, does it really make sense that Lara gets to bring her dad's buddies along with her? She's a grad student work under a world famous archaeologist. Why did she get to pick the crew?

I'm assuming that her dad was also an archaeologist, then why did he train her to use guns and bows?

Also, Roth repeatedly reminds her to trust her instincts, but we never really see her doubting them.

She's incredibly wealthy so maybe she's bankrolling the whole thing? Also rich people have weird hobbies I guess, which might explain the second part

Kruller
Feb 20, 2004

It's time to restore dignity to the Farnsworth name!

Convex posted:

She's incredibly wealthy so maybe she's bankrolling the whole thing? Also rich people have weird hobbies I guess, which might explain the second part

Yeah the Croft family is hilariously rich. I'm currently replaying it and I'm not 100% sure if she's bankrolling it or not, but the actual project is hers. The blonde guy is there for TV, and due to that is the "lead" archaeologist, but they're making a documentary about Himiko.

What drags that game down for me, besides the loving wolves at the start, is how much it likes to beat the ever living poo poo out of Lara. Not just when you gently caress up, either. The first thing that happens after the shipwreck is she gets clubbed, strung up, and then impaled. It's probably the most violent game against the protagonist when people AREN'T shooting at you that I've seen.

Calaveron
Aug 7, 2006
:negative:

Kruller posted:

Yeah the Croft family is hilariously rich. I'm currently replaying it and I'm not 100% sure if she's bankrolling it or not, but the actual project is hers. The blonde guy is there for TV, and due to that is the "lead" archaeologist, but they're making a documentary about Himiko.

What drags that game down for me, besides the loving wolves at the start, is how much it likes to beat the ever living poo poo out of Lara. Not just when you gently caress up, either. The first thing that happens after the shipwreck is she gets clubbed, strung up, and then impaled. It's probably the most violent game against the protagonist when people AREN'T shooting at you that I've seen.

And it doesn't even amount to anything. She gets horribly impaled, and the cutscene is framed as something that should have consequences, but nothing loving happens. It's just torture porn and quite frankly really creepy and off-putting in a fairly good third-person shooter.
I mean, not even when she's wading in a literal sewer of blood and gore does like, infection or sepsis or something play into it.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Eh, Nathan Drake regularly gets the poo poo beat out of him up to and including getting gutshot and having to climb out of a train wreck.

Something that I found kind of annoying about that Tomb Raider was how they make a big deal at the beginning of the game about how Lara needs to use survival skills and it ends up going nowhere.

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012

As far as I'm concerned, Tomb Raider is the goriest game I've ever played, or at least the most brutally violent. Lots of games have giblets and silly 1980's action gore, but every 60 seconds something happens in Tomb Raider that will make you wince.

poptart_fairy
Apr 8, 2009

by R. Guyovich

muscles like this? posted:

Eh, Nathan Drake regularly gets the poo poo beat out of him up to and including getting gutshot and having to climb out of a train wreck.

People are really weird about Tomb Raider's violence, given we've been living with stuff such as Dead Space and Resident Evil for years already.

Isaac gets sliced by a disease ridden arm blade and walks it off. loving realism.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

DStecks posted:

As far as I'm concerned, Tomb Raider is the goriest game I've ever played, or at least the most brutally violent. Lots of games have giblets and silly 1980's action gore, but every 60 seconds something happens in Tomb Raider that will make you wince.

Don't gently caress up going down the water slide thing. That grossed me the hell out when she got impaled on a tree through the bottom of her jaw.

http://youtu.be/byOsEnC_S8Y maybe not work safe

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

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Tomb Raider was a good game.

Tunahead
Mar 26, 2010

Re: David Cage and rape:

That poo poo is in Indigo Prophecy too, of course. There's an abrupt stealth section in an insane asylum as the female protagonist and if you fail and get caught, it fades to black and the game basically just goes "You've created a rape paradox! Retry/Quit?"

RagnarokAngel
Oct 5, 2006

Black Magic Extraordinaire

Tunahead posted:

Re: David Cage and rape:

That poo poo is in Indigo Prophecy too, of course. There's an abrupt stealth section in an insane asylum as the female protagonist and if you fail and get caught, it fades to black and the game basically just goes "You've created a rape paradox! Retry/Quit?"

What? No. They kill her with lunatic strength. When David Cage wants to be creepy he'll tell you.

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010


We're all going to experience changes in our life but only the best of us will qualify for front row seats.

MindlessHavok posted:

Don't gently caress up going down the water slide thing. That grossed me the hell out when she got impaled on a tree through the bottom of her jaw.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCe8-1dbXZc&t=358s
Should automatically start about 6 minutes in.

Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

Mierenneuker posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCe8-1dbXZc&t=358s
Should automatically start about 6 minutes in.

Alright that was hilarious

DStecks
Feb 6, 2012

poptart_fairy posted:

People are really weird about Tomb Raider's violence, given we've been living with stuff such as Dead Space and Resident Evil for years already.

Isaac gets sliced by a disease ridden arm blade and walks it off. loving realism.

I'm not sure what you're not getting here, space zombie arm blades are not a real thing. The violence in Tomb Raider is intentionally relatable, and emphasizes the horrific pain the characters are experiencing because of it. Video games don't do that, like, ever, unless it's a nutshot and that's always for comic effect. That's what I meant when I said that the violence in Tomb Raider is uniquely brutal, loads of games have over-the-top gore, but that's spectacle, that's a reward for doing a cool thing. Tomb Raider is the only game I can name that uses gore as a punishment for failure. The reason why people are "really weird" about the violence in Tomb Raider is that most video game violence is like an 80's action flick, but the violence in Tomb Raider is like a Faces of Death video.

suuma
Apr 2, 2009

DStecks posted:

I'm not sure what you're not getting here, space zombie arm blades are not a real thing. The violence in Tomb Raider is intentionally relatable, and emphasizes the horrific pain the characters are experiencing because of it. Video games don't do that, like, ever, unless it's a nutshot and that's always for comic effect. That's what I meant when I said that the violence in Tomb Raider is uniquely brutal, loads of games have over-the-top gore, but that's spectacle, that's a reward for doing a cool thing. Tomb Raider is the only game I can name that uses gore as a punishment for failure.

Resident evil 4 (and probably others) did this. loving chain saw dudes.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005


Last of Us cuts right as it gets brutal but stays just long enough that you start to see it. Like guys ripping Joel's jaw off.

m.hache
Dec 1, 2004


Fun Shoe
Just finished Wolfenstein: The New Order.

The Main character can take a loving beating and keep on going. Like cutscenes where someone drugs you, puts a meat hook in his back and a dagger in his chest and you still manage to rip the dagger out of your chest and stab them.

Then you just get up like nothing happened. He also like to have an internal monologue in the drawn out sections of the game. There's a section where you're swimming through a sewer system and he's talking about how he almost drowned as a kid, swam trenches and then says he's swam through the cesspools of Deathheads dungeons and it wasn't a messy as this sewer. and here I am just swimming around in crystal clear water.

Sleeveless
Dec 25, 2014

by Pragmatica

DStecks posted:

I'm not sure what you're not getting here, space zombie arm blades are not a real thing. The violence in Tomb Raider is intentionally relatable, and emphasizes the horrific pain the characters are experiencing because of it. Video games don't do that, like, ever, unless it's a nutshot and that's always for comic effect. That's what I meant when I said that the violence in Tomb Raider is uniquely brutal, loads of games have over-the-top gore, but that's spectacle, that's a reward for doing a cool thing. Tomb Raider is the only game I can name that uses gore as a punishment for failure. The reason why people are "really weird" about the violence in Tomb Raider is that most video game violence is like an 80's action flick, but the violence in Tomb Raider is like a Faces of Death video.

I think what he's saying is that it's silly that people make such a big deal about the violence in TR when it's not the violence iself but the fact that they did such a good job making you care about Laura and making the violence seem horrific.

It's like how the ear slicing scene in Reservoir Dogs cuts away during the actual act or how you never see the inside of the box at the end of Se7en, 90% of the gruesome deaths in TR is watching one model clip through another behind a red filter and a shaking camera.

poptart_fairy
Apr 8, 2009

by R. Guyovich

DStecks posted:

I'm not sure what you're not getting here, space zombie arm blades are not a real thing. The violence in Tomb Raider is intentionally relatable, and emphasizes the horrific pain the characters are experiencing because of it. Video games don't do that, like, ever, unless it's a nutshot and that's always for comic effect. That's what I meant when I said that the violence in Tomb Raider is uniquely brutal, loads of games have over-the-top gore, but that's spectacle, that's a reward for doing a cool thing. Tomb Raider is the only game I can name that uses gore as a punishment for failure. The reason why people are "really weird" about the violence in Tomb Raider is that most video game violence is like an 80's action flick, but the violence in Tomb Raider is like a Faces of Death video.

Hmm, yes, getting torn in half by angry Necromorphs certainly isn't as at all gory and doesn't ever happen when you're killed in Dead Space. Orr literally any game, ever. Lara Croft is the only protagonist to die violently.

vvv - Did you get an infection from swimming around in that water?

poptart_fairy has a new favorite as of 16:49 on May 12, 2015

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StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

m.hache posted:

Then you just get up like nothing happened. He also like to have an internal monologue in the drawn out sections of the game. There's a section where you're swimming through a sewer system and he's talking about how he almost drowned as a kid, swam trenches and then says he's swam through the cesspools of Deathheads dungeons and it wasn't a messy as this sewer. and here I am just swimming around in crystal clear water.

The only game I've played that really pulls off "this water is really nasty" is Black Mesa in the Residue Processing section. It has a lot of issues but texture work is generally a strong point.

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