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jony ive aces posted:so it's basically privatising the enforcement of contracts then I was shooting heroin and reading “The Fountainhead” in the front seat of my privately owned police cruiser when a call came in. I put a quarter in the radio to activate it. It was the chief. “Bad news, detective. We got a situation.” “What? Is the mayor trying to ban trans fats again?” “Worse. Somebody just stole four hundred and forty-seven million dollars’ worth of bitcoins.” The heroin needle practically fell out of my arm. “What kind of monster would do something like that? Bitcoins are the ultimate currency: virtual, anonymous, stateless. They represent true economic freedom, not subject to arbitrary manipulation by any government. Do we have any leads?” “Not yet. But mark my words: we’re going to figure out who did this and we’re going to take them down … provided someone pays us a fair market rate to do so.” “Easy, chief,” I said. “Any rate the market offers is, by definition, fair.” He laughed. “That’s why you’re the best I got, Lisowski. Now you get out there and find those bitcoins.” “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m on it.” I put a quarter in the siren. Ten minutes later, I was on the scene. It was a normal office building, strangled on all sides by public sidewalks. I hopped over them and went inside. “Home Depot™ Presents the Police!®” I said, flashing my badge and my gun and a small picture of Ron Paul. “Nobody move unless you want to!” They didn’t. “Now, which one of you punks is going to pay me to investigate this crime?” No one spoke up. “Come on,” I said. “Don’t you all understand that the protection of private property is the foundation of all personal liberty?” It didn’t seem like they did. “Seriously, guys. Without a strong economic motivator, I’m just going to stand here and not solve this case. Cash is fine, but I prefer being paid in gold bullion or autographed Penn Jillette posters.” Nothing. These people were stonewalling me. It almost seemed like they didn’t care that a fortune in computer money invented to buy drugs was missing. I figured I could wait them out. I lit several cigarettes indoors. A pregnant lady coughed, and I told her that secondhand smoke is a myth. Just then, a man in glasses made a break for it. “Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled. Too late. He was already out the front door. I went after him. “Stop right there!” I yelled as I ran. He was faster than me because I always try to avoid stepping on public sidewalks. Our country needs a private-sidewalk voucher system, but, thanks to the incestuous interplay between our corrupt federal government and the public-sidewalk lobby, it will never happen. I was losing him. “Listen, I’ll pay you to stop!” I yelled. “What would you consider an appropriate price point for stopping? I’ll offer you a thirteenth of an ounce of gold and a gently worn ‘Bob Barr ‘08’ extra-large long-sleeved men’s T-shirt!” He turned. In his hand was a revolver that the Constitution said he had every right to own. He fired at me and missed. I pulled my own gun, put a quarter in it, and fired back. The bullet lodged in a U.S.P.S. mailbox less than a foot from his head. I shot the mailbox again, on purpose. “All right, all right!” the man yelled, throwing down his weapon. “I give up, cop! I confess: I took the bitcoins.” “Why’d you do it?” I asked, as I slapped a pair of Oikos™ Greek Yogurt Presents Handcuffs® on the guy. “Because I was afraid.” “Afraid?” “Afraid of an economic future free from the pernicious meddling of central bankers,” he said. “I’m a central banker.” I wanted to coldcock the guy. Years ago, a central banker killed my partner. Instead, I shook my head. “Let this be a message to all your central-banker friends out on the street,” I said. “No matter how many bitcoins you steal, you’ll never take away the dream of an open society based on the principles of personal and economic freedom.” He nodded, because he knew I was right. Then he swiped his credit card to pay me for arresting him.
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May 13, 2015 23:25
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“Subway™ Eat Fresh and Freeze, Scumbag!®” I yelled.
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May 13, 2015 23:34
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jony ive aces posted:isn't that literally the one function of government that libertarians want to retain
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May 13, 2015 23:48
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http://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/comments/35tuv9/seen_this_on_my_facebook_timeline_today/cr7q706 posted:[–]pm_me_your_kindwords 104 points 8 hours ago the whole thread is awful.
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May 14, 2015 00:01
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Magrov posted:this whole thread is awful.
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May 14, 2015 00:07
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jony ive aces posted:
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May 14, 2015 00:09
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I love Zybourne Clock
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May 14, 2015 00:55
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DNova posted:the ol' block and chain
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May 14, 2015 01:35
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Phished Bitcoins (self.Bitcoin) submitted just now by a_squirrley389 Roughly 9 BTC were phished out of one of my wallets, what ways can those Bitcoins be "re-phished" if I have the wallet address they are currently in?
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May 14, 2015 01:55
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quote:Roughly 9 BTC were phished out of one of my wallets Unless he buys back a minimum of 9 btc, of course
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May 14, 2015 02:00
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Robawesome posted:"re-phished" 
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May 14, 2015 02:18
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lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work
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May 14, 2015 02:25
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Robawesome posted:Phished Bitcoins (self.Bitcoin) The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware / Software Crap > YOSPOS > what ways can those Bitcoins be "re-phished" No phishbacks
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May 14, 2015 02:26
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work quick, plug em in for free cash
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May 14, 2015 02:26
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work
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May 14, 2015 02:27
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work 
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May 14, 2015 02:27
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Improbable Lobster posted:quick, plug em in and record the power supply exploding
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May 14, 2015 02:29
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work lol
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May 14, 2015 02:31
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work
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May 14, 2015 02:35
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if my googling is correct, those are Singles, with a combined original list price of $8985 it's probably good I wasn't there when they came in because I would've made a space heater joke and made the person dropping them off feel bad
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May 14, 2015 02:35
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Are you allowed to disassemble them and take pics of the wiring/soldering job, or are they real strict about what happens with the stuff?
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May 14, 2015 02:40
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Sentient Data posted:Are you allowed to disassemble them and take pics of the wiring/soldering job, or are they real strict about what happens with the stuff? oh please dissect one
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May 14, 2015 02:40
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Inside is an arduino, a fan, and some LEDs
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May 14, 2015 02:43
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OSI bean dip posted:oh please dissect one
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May 14, 2015 02:44
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work serious post can you send me one (continental US address) for the cost of shipping plus some beer/drug/hooker/corgi money? I solemnly swear on the grave of z0r (rip) that it would never actually be used.
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May 14, 2015 02:46
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DNova posted:serious post can you send me one (continental US address) for the cost of shipping plus some beer/drug/hooker/corgi money? Sure thing poopsmoker
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May 14, 2015 02:47
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Alan Smithee posted:Sure thing poopsmoker I pay for electricity
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May 14, 2015 02:49
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have there been any cases of butters modifying their power meters to avoid getting dinged? i am certain there have been
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May 14, 2015 02:50
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Sentient Data posted:Are you allowed to disassemble them and take pics of the wiring/soldering job, or are they real strict about what happens with the stuff? my coworker got 'em. i can ask DNova posted:serious post can you send me one (continental US address) for the cost of shipping plus some beer/drug/hooker/corgi money? they're cheap on ebay though
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May 14, 2015 02:57
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I look forward to bitcoiners drawing up a not-marriage contract that prevents the parties from being forced to testify against each other.
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May 14, 2015 03:26
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OSI bean dip posted:have there been any cases of butters modifying their power meters to avoid getting dinged? i am certain there have been this makes me miss when three-phase would post detailed explanations in GBS of why this rig or that was doomed to flip all the breakers and catch fire
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May 14, 2015 03:42
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I will literally come pick up the butterfly labs thing tomorrow
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May 14, 2015 03:44
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killhamster posted:this makes me miss when three-phase would post detailed explanations in GBS of why this rig or that was doomed to flip all the breakers and catch fire same, that was aces
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May 14, 2015 04:01
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atomicthumbs posted:lmao apparently a month ago someone dropped these off at the e-waste recycling center where I work This is GREAT news for bitcoin because... 
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May 14, 2015 04:05
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Beast of Bourbon posted:I will literally come pick up the butterfly labs thing tomorrow I'm in the same boat, I feel like it would be a fun souvenir. Even if the recycling company wants to take all the PCBs to harvest the gold and whatever other rare metals (mining a mining rig really does have some poetic justice), I'd be willing to pay  for the empty shell
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May 14, 2015 04:10
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Sentient Data posted:I'm in the same boat, I feel like it would be a fun souvenir. Even if the recycling company wants to take all the PCBs to harvest the gold and whatever other rare metals (mining a mining rig really does have some poetic justice), I'd be willing to pay Besides, it's actually MORE authentic if it's just a box of fans.
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May 14, 2015 04:24
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Mercury_Storm posted:This is GREAT news for bitcoin because... 5
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May 14, 2015 04:36
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bitcanon put what's canon in the blockchain ruin your friends shipping attempts using SHA-256
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May 14, 2015 05:05
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if those are original bfl power supplies i'd actually be more interested to see how the hilariously illegal board stood up to use
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May 14, 2015 06:29
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surebet posted:if those are original bfl power supplies i'd actually be more interested to see how the hilariously illegal board stood up to use Its been too long since I have seen horrifying non-compliance with basic safety and engineering practices.
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May 14, 2015 06:42
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