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Agent Burt Macklin
Jul 3, 2003

Macklin, you son of a bitch

"How are you so bad at everything"

really set the tone for the denouement of that video.

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VulgarandStupid
Aug 5, 2003
I AM, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, UNFUCKABLE AND A TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT TO EVERYONE. DAE WANNA CUM PLAY WITH ME!?




Very few of the PC crew hack, most of us are just victims of consequence. In fact, we become targets to Rockstars heavy handed police tactics of just taking all of our money away no matter how much was forced on us. We are the victims here.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


VulgarandStupid posted:

Very few of the PC crew hack, most of us are just victims of consequence. In fact, we become targets to Rockstars heavy handed police tactics of just taking all of our money away no matter how much was forced on us. We are the victims here.

That's my situation. I got flagged for "suspicious activity" that they refused to clarify or expand upon and when the 2 week ban expired they'd emptied my character's bank account. Asshats.

This was after spending a week of most lobbies I dropped into being full of Chinese hackers exploding everyone on the server and teleporting them around.

Quill
Jan 19, 2004
Rockstar is actually terrible. I had made two million the legitimate way until the first Ill Gotten Gains update rolled in and wiped out my entire bank account. Contacting support resulted in an automated response and nothing else. With 5k in hand I had to start all over again, until some guy showered me in dolla dolla bills yo. Zero guilt.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


Quill posted:

Rockstar is actually terrible. I had made two million the legitimate way until the first Ill Gotten Gains update rolled in and wiped out my entire bank account. Contacting support resulted in an automated response and nothing else. With 5k in hand I had to start all over again, until some guy showered me in dolla dolla bills yo. Zero guilt.

Yeah, at this point my account's still mostly empty after losing shitloads of legitimately-gained currency in the aforementioned bank wipe and I would give zero fucks if I were to be showered in cash. Rockstar are heavy-handed and indiscriminate as gently caress.

Hexenritter fucked around with this message at 15:46 on Aug 6, 2015

Zigmidge
May 12, 2002

Exsqueeze me, why the sour face? I'm here to lemon aid you. Let's juice it.
Tonight I'm going to play Pacific Standard with friends and I'm going to set my share to 0% as the host and I'm going to have a blast.

Or I might just crack a beer and walk in the senora desert appreciating the sound design.

UserErr0r
May 4, 2006
Replace User

Zigmidge posted:

Tonight I'm going to play Pacific Standard with friends and I'm going to set my share to 0% as the host and I'm going to have a blast.

Or I might just crack a beer and walk in the senora desert appreciating the sound design.

Does the game allow everyone to set their share to 0%?

Teratrain
Aug 23, 2007
Waiting for Godot
100% of all proceeds go to a San Andreas charity of YOUR choice!

Holiday Lobster
Oct 27, 2009

I am going to smack everyone into tiny little pieces.
:h:

Zigmidge posted:

Tonight I'm going to play Pacific Standard with friends and I'm going to set my share to 0% as the host and I'm going to have a blast.

Or I might just crack a beer and walk in the senora desert appreciating the sound design.

Ive tried setting my share to 0 so I can try and "guarantee" a first time done right scenario because everyone else gets the monies.

Doesn't always work to my advantage.

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
i just started playing and i got grouped up with 3 other guys doing the standard pacific heist. we got through all the parts together but the final bit where you try to get away on bikes to the canyon.

two of the players would not follow the gps route to the meet up spot and ketp dying so after the 5th time of failing the mission i decide to follow them and i come to found out they are figthing the entire police force with armor cars and choppers.

is there some other way or short cut to complete this mission that im not aware of? i never ran into any of that type of force going the way lester suggested.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Anybody want to do crime on PS4 tonight?

FallinInTheBlak
Jan 20, 2013

Sarcastic. Sadistic. British.
:britain:
:wotwot:

zooted heh posted:

i just started playing and i got grouped up with 3 other guys doing the standard pacific heist. we got through all the parts together but the final bit where you try to get away on bikes to the canyon.

two of the players would not follow the gps route to the meet up spot and ketp dying so after the 5th time of failing the mission i decide to follow them and i come to found out they are figthing the entire police force with armor cars and choppers.

is there some other way or short cut to complete this mission that im not aware of? i never ran into any of that type of force going the way lester suggested.

Some people like to ignore Lesters route and go straight to boat to escape, this works but you don't lose the cops and so I wouldn't bother trying it without a full group who are communicating via headsets because you're just going to have people going different ways. I prefer just to follow the suggested route and I don't have a lot of trouble doing it,.

I remember playing with an 8 year old who insisted that he knew how to do it and how to do it a different way and that he was going to kick us if we didn't go his way. We tried the heist about 5 times and we failed it each time because he died trying to go his own way and then we all just left.

Lesters route is the simplest way, and its made even easier if you don't trigger the alarm and so have less police and no NOOSE team.

UserErr0r
May 4, 2006
Replace User
Is there a windowless van for purchase that has a rear-passenger side door, or do they all use the rear-facing doors?

Also, has anyone in the "modding" scene figured out a way to force other players into your vehicle?

I want to go around Los Santos kidnapping random pubbies.

coupedeville
Jan 1, 2012

MY ANACONDA DOM'T WANT NONE UNLESS U GOT CUM SON!

UserErr0r posted:

Is there a windowless van for purchase that has a rear-passenger side door, or do they all use the rear-facing doors?

Also, has anyone in the "modding" scene figured out a way to force other players into your vehicle?

I want to go around Los Santos kidnapping random pubbies.

:stare:

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
yeah going lesters route was pretty simple. i always made it to the spot. the only cops that were chasing me were the ones in all white cars.

when i followed them and saw what they were fighting i just left. i mean if its not working why keep doing it?

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

zooted heh posted:

i just started playing and i got grouped up with 3 other guys doing the standard pacific heist. we got through all the parts together but the final bit where you try to get away on bikes to the canyon.

two of the players would not follow the gps route to the meet up spot and ketp dying so after the 5th time of failing the mission i decide to follow them and i come to found out they are figthing the entire police force with armor cars and choppers.

is there some other way or short cut to complete this mission that im not aware of? i never ran into any of that type of force going the way lester suggested.

FitB is right about not killing any hostages, but really you can take any route you like. I think it's a shorter drive to take the 101 and reach the river bed that way, but then you're stuck taking a straight shot down the same highway for quite a while.

Whoever's out in front will meet the brunt of the police resistance, which sounds like what was happening to your 2 crew members.

The path of least resistance is probably just to offroad and drive through the construction sites and stuff, like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwzDUZEr06M

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
lesters route takes you to the moutain where you pretty much take your bike through walk paths till you get to the top where your suppose to jump off and open your parachute to the boat.

AirRaid
Dec 21, 2004

Nose Manual + Super Sonic Spin Attack
Lester's route is also the only way to get the scripted wanted level loss. Going any other way means arriving at the boat with 5 stars.

zooted heh
Oct 16, 2005

str8 mercin burgers my nigga
welp thanks for confirming i was grouped with a bunch of morons who lvls would suggest they knew what they were doing. :smith:

Craptacular
Jul 11, 2004

AirRaid posted:

Going any other way means arriving at the boat with 5 stars.

Arriving at the boat with 5 stars is nbd

BitBasher
Jun 6, 2004

You've got to know the rules before you can break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.


titties posted:

Anybody want to do crime on PS4 tonight?

I do! I do!

Craptacular posted:

Arriving at the boat with 5 stars is nbd

My most consistent win is just getting all 4 players to jump into the armored police van at the very first checkpoint where the dumpster jump is along lesters route, then taking the GOH straight to the boat in bulletproof comfort.

BitBasher fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Aug 6, 2015

Kerosene19
May 7, 2007


UserErr0r posted:

Is there a windowless van for purchase that has a rear-passenger side door, or do they all use the rear-facing doors?

Also, has anyone in the "modding" scene figured out a way to force other players into your vehicle?

I want to go around Los Santos kidnapping random pubbies.

I have just the van for that...

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

BitBasher posted:

I do! I do!


My most consistent win is just getting all 4 players to jump into the armored police van at the very first checkpoint where the dumpster jump is along lesters route, then taking the GOH straight to the boat in bulletproof comfort.

I really liked using the Kuruma glitch but gently caress having to buy that 6-car garage apartment

E: I've got some dishes soaking that I'll have to get to shortly, but I'm getting on now. I see JKL and maybe a couple other people online LET'S GET IT ON

E2: n/m, I'm going to be a little while. Apparently my wife has some innate sense of when I'm getting online and does everything she can to make sure that I will not be able to hear the game or party chat.

titties fucked around with this message at 00:45 on Aug 7, 2015

BitBasher
Jun 6, 2004

You've got to know the rules before you can break 'em. Otherwise, it's no fun.


titties posted:

I really liked using the Kuruma glitch but gently caress having to buy that 6-car garage apartment

E: I've got some dishes soaking that I'll have to get to shortly, but I'm getting on now. I see JKL and maybe a couple other people online LET'S GET IT ON

E2: n/m, I'm going to be a little while. Apparently my wife has some innate sense of when I'm getting online and does everything she can to make sure that I will not be able to hear the game or party chat.

Loading now, fire an invite.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

BitBasher posted:

Loading now, fire an invite.

OK but you're going to have to listen to my washing machine / endless feedback loop when I crank the volume way up so I can hear your sexy sexy vioce

E: good heisting tonight with BitBasher, Craptacular, and our new pet pubbie

titties fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Aug 7, 2015

coupedeville
Jan 1, 2012

MY ANACONDA DOM'T WANT NONE UNLESS U GOT CUM SON!
Just wanted to pop in the thread to thank sadius omega (deadly mongoose) for helping me with daily objectives tonight

:love:

Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
I apologize to t1g4h and planks, something very bad happened with my power and I can't turn anything in my house on!

T1g4h
Aug 6, 2008

I AM THE SCALES OF JUSTICE, CONDUCTOR OF THE CHOIR OF DEATH!

Top Hats Monthly posted:

I apologize to t1g4h and planks, something very bad happened with my power and I can't turn anything in my house on!

S'all good, I ended up calling it a night shortly after.

Also, check your fuses / breakers :v:

UserErr0r
May 4, 2006
Replace User
I didn't get an answer in the other thread, so does anyone know how to fix the issue where roads and structures take forever to load? It happens in both GTA5 and GTAO.

All I could find in Google is people saying "oh your videocard is failing". No, this is a month old 970, and everything works absolutely fine until I reinstalled Windows last weekend. Once assets load, they tend to stay loaded (until I restart my game/crash) - if it were my video card dying, I'd be seeing warped geometry. I'm on a SSD, so it's not an issue with the drive being too slow to stream assets into memory either (unless AHCI causes data reads to slow down?)

Top Hats Monthly posted:

I can't turn anything [...] on!

I have that problem with women :(

UserErr0r fucked around with this message at 10:56 on Aug 7, 2015

Montalvo
Sep 3, 2007



Fun Shoe
Does anyone want to Heist on PS4 tonight?

circ dick soleil
Sep 27, 2012

by zen death robot
Somebody should make Microwave's mom in GTA Online.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Montalvo posted:

Does anyone want to Heist on PS4 tonight?

I might be around, PSN: mr_dread

tjolle
Aug 12, 2013
On this day, sworn LSPD officers aardmania, Abilifier, FallinInTheBlak and OpenSociety tried their damnedest to make the streets of Los Santos safe once more from the hipster hippie criminal element that has taken root in our fine city.

Their collective mayhem efforts will never be forgotten (or, apparently, appreciated by the rest of the city's law enforcement). :patriot:

CascadeBeta
Feb 14, 2009

by Cyrano4747
So as someone who is interested in the PC version, is there a goon PC community or would it be a waste to buy now? Also how is online anyway? I haven't played since, like, the game first released on PS3.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

JAssassin posted:

So as someone who is interested in the PC version, is there a goon PC community or would it be a waste to buy now? Also how is online anyway? I haven't played since, like, the game first released on PS3.

There is a large PC goon presence, online is hosed / completely awesome on PC depending on how you feel about hacking.

There have been a lot of clothes and vehicles added, as well as a lot of quality-of-life improvements. Heists are out and they're not bad the first couple of times you run them but they take a while to complete and you should avoid running them with pubbies at any cost.

Some of the things that have changed since PS3 launch:

1st-person view on-foot and in-vehicle
You can own 3 properties
Body armor is a consumable, at higher levels you can carry 10 and apply them as needed
Lots of additions to the interaction menu (eat snacks, use armor, change walk styles, facial expressions, and accessories, lots of stuff)
Banking by phone browser, no need to go to the ATM
Very hard to get sent to bad sport hell unless you hack / cheat
Many new weapons, some are very good or kind-of-useless but fun (Thompson Contender)
Better overall payouts for missions, no more negative mission earnings after ammo / armor
Better Pegasus vehicle spawning
Lots of good user-created content (mostly fun gimmick races and ROCKET's vs INSURGENTS)

Some things haven't changed much or are worse:

Lots of things are still broken (crew / friends matchmaking, inviting people, settings being reverted)
Free roam is terrible if you want to do anything that isn't shoot at everyone you encounter
You're no longer limited to 1 permanent custom license plate but you ahve to use the iFruit app to change them and they cost like 100k
Pubbies

titties fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Aug 8, 2015

SplitSoul
Dec 31, 2000

titties posted:

Banking by phone browser, no need to go to the ATM

It was like this from release, though. I guess they figured having your earnings wiped out by griefing campers was a poo poo idea.

titties
May 10, 2012

They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

SplitSoul posted:

It was like this from release, though. I guess they figured having your earnings wiped out by griefing campers was a poo poo idea.

Oh, okay. I see a lot of low-level returning players going to the ATM so I thought it was a post-launch addition.

Zigmidge
May 12, 2002

Exsqueeze me, why the sour face? I'm here to lemon aid you. Let's juice it.

titties posted:

online is completely awesome on PC if you can get over yourself

Pride is hubris in gta:o

Duke Chin
Jan 11, 2002

Roger That:
MILK CRATES INBOUND

:siren::siren::siren::siren:
- FUCK THE HABS -

titties posted:

Oh, okay. I see a lot of low-level returning players going to the ATM so I thought it was a post-launch addition.

Yeah that was definitely in there since launch/day one. In fact, I've actually NEVER used an atm in the entire time I've been playing this thing. :v:

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mutata
Mar 1, 2003

There's little reason to since you don't drop tons of money when you die/get mugged so you can just keep it in your pockets.

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