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Geokinesis posted:They've got themselves a winning formula.   
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Aug 12, 2015 12:26
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Apposite brand name.
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Aug 12, 2015 13:31
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C.M. Kruger posted:"Florida man burns penis while attempting to have sex with Hot Pocket." You're not doing it right, it should be more like: Florida Man Penetrates Pizza Pockets; Poaches Privates
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Aug 12, 2015 14:16
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titties posted:You're not doing it right, it should be more like: Pensacola Pervert Penetrates Pizza Pockets, Poaches Privates
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Aug 12, 2015 14:30
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Coming this fall; The new exciting adventures of...>FLORIDA MAN!
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Aug 12, 2015 15:39
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Johnny Aztec posted:Coming this fall; The new exciting adventures of...>FLORIDA MAN! https://twitter.com/_FloridaMan
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Aug 12, 2015 16:18
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I love reading that twitter account.
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Aug 12, 2015 16:33
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This headline is misleading! If you read the article, it says putting them there was amazing. The biggest mistake of his life was not washing afterwards. 
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Aug 12, 2015 18:11
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AnonymousNarcotics posted:This headline is misleading! If you read the article, it says putting them there was amazing. The biggest mistake of his life was not washing afterwards. For three loving weeks! Fake or not, that's easily one of the most disgusting things I've ever read.
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Aug 12, 2015 20:57
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Eggbeater Jesus posted:Pensacola Pervert Penetrates Pizza Pockets, Poaches Privates We all appreciate added alliteration, but Florida Man is the greatest superhero of our age
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Aug 13, 2015 03:53
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Cops: Shoplifter Hid Steaks In Colostomy Bag
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Aug 13, 2015 13:55
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Oh, wow, I always thought "I just threw up in my mouth" was just something people posted to be funny.
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Aug 13, 2015 14:24
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They really found the perfect facial expression for a guy who shoves a ton of cheese puffs up his rear end. It's like that cut scene from Terminator 2 when he learns how to smile.
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Aug 13, 2015 18:22
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Mulva posted:I don't think so; but there was a case where a court determined that they can lie, since calling yourself news doesn't mean you have to tell the truth. Ten days (e: and three pages, goddammit how did I miss those) late, but no there wasn't. SneezeOfTheDecade has a new favorite as of 19:44 on Aug 13, 2015 |
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Aug 13, 2015 19:36
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Aug 13, 2015 22:38
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The people who pay for lottery tickets are usually the least likely to be able to handle the winnings.
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Aug 13, 2015 22:43
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Aug 14, 2015 07:36
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Aug 14, 2015 10:13
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flosofl posted:The people who pay for lottery tickets are usually the least likely to be able to handle the winnings. I admit I'm a bit curious about how the dogs get the Quavers.
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Aug 14, 2015 11:07
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Aug 14, 2015 11:53
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Aug 14, 2015 13:34
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drat, I didn't know Fragmaster was in the UK.
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Aug 14, 2015 14:45
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Johnny Aztec posted:drat, I didn't know Fragmaster was in the UK. Similarly, I can't believe Brother Jonathan never worked in Poland.
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Aug 14, 2015 15:18
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"Man in bear costume harasses mother bear, 2 cubs in Alaska"
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Aug 14, 2015 20:51
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 There were no survivors.
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Aug 14, 2015 21:12
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Behotti posted:"Man in bear costume harasses mother bear, 2 cubs in Alaska" Man in bear costume harasses mother bear, 2 cubs in Alaska My favorite parts: quote:It wasn't immediately known what the man was trying to accomplish. quote:Sogge reported the man told the technician: "You have the license plate number. You figure it out." The man then drove off without ever removing the costume head and revealing his face. quote:"This is not the first time we've encountered a man in a bear suit," Peters said.
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Aug 14, 2015 21:17
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Karma Monkey posted:Man in bear costume harasses mother bear, 2 cubs in Alaska I'm gonna pretend this is the entire article & that is alright.
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Aug 14, 2015 23:06
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Snapchat A Titty posted:I'm gonna pretend this is the entire article & that is alright. TBH, that is pretty much the whole article, at least in essence. Who the people are or what their functions in the event were is not really important. Also, there was this at the end: quote:This story has been corrected to show the man harassed a sow and two cubs, not a bear and two sows. I'd like to think the uncorrected story sounded like the man was hassling them for polygamy.
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Aug 14, 2015 23:18
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Karma Monkey posted:TBH, that is pretty much the whole article, at least in essence. Who the people are or what their functions in the event were is not really important. Also, there was this at the end: They don't mention whether it was black bears or grizzly bears. If they were grizzly, I'm wondering if he was trying to commit suicide by bear. Even a black bear will get pretty aggressive if she has cubs.
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Aug 14, 2015 23:25
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Hopefully this one wasn't posted: Bangladeshi Blogger Hacked to Death
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Aug 14, 2015 23:31
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flosofl posted:They don't mention whether it was black bears or grizzly bears. If they were grizzly, I'm wondering if he was trying to commit suicide by bear. Even a black bear will get pretty aggressive if she has cubs. Yea, but why dress as a bear to do suicide by bear? I want to know more about the other incidents of people dressed as bears that the rangers have encountered.
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Aug 14, 2015 23:34
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Karma Monkey posted:Yea, but why dress as a bear to do suicide by bear? I want to know more about the other incidents of people dressed as bears that the rangers have encountered. Listen, we shouldn't dig too deeply into this subject. The truth can only be less interesting than the 4 quotes we have.
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Aug 14, 2015 23:44
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Magnus Gallant posted:Hopefully this one wasn't posted: Hackers Can Turn Your Computer into a Machete
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Aug 15, 2015 00:22
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Magnus Gallant posted:Hopefully this one wasn't posted: Oh CNN Headline writers, you're such cut ups!
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Aug 15, 2015 01:08
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Karma Monkey posted:Yea, but why dress as a bear to do suicide by bear? I want to know more about the other incidents of people dressed as bears that the rangers have encountered. We'll probably never know. It's bear suits all the way down.
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Aug 15, 2015 01:13
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The Daily sport for all your knob & snack based news.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:26
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"At first glans" is nicely done.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:31
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They always specify these are people are jobless and unwed, like one wouldn't piece that together from the context.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:36
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Centripetal Horse posted:What a piece of poo poo lawyer. How did he not say "lionesses?" Answered your own question, bud Istari posted:I like how, instead of looking terrified, he just looks vaguely put out. "Well, I guess I won't make it to the club in time for elevenses." He looks more upset at losing his hat than potentially being eaten alive
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Aug 15, 2015 04:59
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Captain Boomerang's origin story.
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Aug 15, 2015 07:02
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