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My stranger danger gift was misdelivered to one of my neighbors. Thank god she didn't open it. With uncharacteristic foresight, I opened my box in my garage. Immediate observation: Teflon Don actually wrapped the presents, and made this all festive and thoughtful. I started to feel bad about doing this in the garage.   Old-school military vehicle recognition cards, an extremely redneck knife, the second-most redneck flag ever made by Americans, and a hat that shows how much I care about the teams in whatever dump the military exiles me to. I'm all set for my very own ARR GUNS civil disobedience. Copgoons, if you come for me, please use pre-Vietnam vehicles so I know exactly what I'm being oppressed with. The gifts were rad, and I'll rock the hell out of them. That wasn't all, but frankly some things - even legal things, according to my frantic google search - don't belong on the internet. Suffice to say, Teflon, you're cool in my book and you gave me one hell of a "holy poo poo" moment. Thanks, and Merry Christmas! (Festivus, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, whatevs) So, it occurs to me that I forgot to ID myself on the box I mailed out. If you receive a package from Louisiana and you think it's kickass, I'll take credit. If you think it's dorky, then blame Beanie. 
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Dec 10, 2015 05:18
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 05:09 |
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:That wasn't all, but frankly some things - even legal things, according to my frantic google search - don't belong on the internet. Suffice to say, Teflon, you're cool in my book and you gave me one hell of a "holy poo poo" moment. It's 100% legal and also 100% live so just be aware. Woof Blitzer fucked around with this message at 05:34 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 05:25
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At first I was just curious about the cards, but now I want to know the mystery gift. Edit: Thread delivers like Santa. Godholio fucked around with this message at 06:08 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 05:51
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Okay, fine you fuckers. I'm taking the word of both google and a cop. I do not wish to create joinder with law enforcement. All I want for Christmas is to not get questioned by OSI.  Edit: When I said I was glad my (civilian) neighbor didn't open it, I wasn't kidding. Arc Light fucked around with this message at 06:05 on Dec 10, 2015 |
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Dec 10, 2015 06:02
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:Okay, fine you fuckers. I'm taking the word of both google and a cop. I do not wish to create joinder with law enforcement. Lock yourself in the garage and pull the pin you pussy.
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Dec 10, 2015 06:08
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Post more of the Subaru.Nostalgia4Murder posted:Lock yourself in the garage and pull the pin you pussy.
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Dec 10, 2015 06:09
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I take it Amazon Fulfillment doesn't deliver those?
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Dec 10, 2015 06:16
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Teflon Don posted:If you're unlucky enough to get paired with me I will be sending you a live grenade, because uranium is so last year In retrospect, Teflon Don is nothing if not honest. Nostalgia4Murder posted:Lock yourself in the garage and pull the pin you pussy. I'm working Monday-Friday. Life is too good. Gotta wait until I'm back on 12s and weekends. Naked Bear posted:Post more of the Subaru. Oh, yeah, the car. Subaru Crosstrek. That was pretty cool, and completely unexpected. Thanks, Secret Satan! 
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Dec 10, 2015 06:23
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i like ur car -- almost got one myself
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Dec 10, 2015 06:24
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Not to derail this already excellent thread, but Subaru makes good cars and the Crosstrek drives hella smooth with 34 miles per gallon. As inexpensive SUVs go, you could do a lot worse. But it's got no kick. Pedal to the metal acceleration is just too smooth. The curse of continuously variable transmission.
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Dec 10, 2015 06:28
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Both of my packages are en route to my SS. Also I would find out ways to surrender that tear gas canister to the police because i don't want it 
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Dec 10, 2015 06:42
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ElMaligno posted:Also I would find out ways to surrender that tear gas canister to the police because i don't want it Grinch spotted. Where's your Christmas spirit?!? Seriously, though, I couldn't ever really do anything with it. Just light it off on my buddy's ranch, maybe. Far away from other people. I could turn it in, sure. But this was a GiP SS present, that MEANS something. I couldn't give it to just any cop. It wouldn't be right. The story can't end there. Only a GiP cop will do. That's the magic of the holiday spirit. If only there was a GiP LEO in Louisiana... Are you there, Beanie? It's me, Kandak.
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Dec 10, 2015 07:30
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Return it to a cop with the pin pulled, preferably from a distance.
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Dec 10, 2015 07:32
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:Are you there, Beanie? It's me, Kandak.
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Dec 10, 2015 07:32
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not a Grinch, just a gigantic pussy. 
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Dec 10, 2015 07:40
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Save it for a loud and obnoxious party at a neighbor's house. Or a really loving awesome party at your house.
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Dec 10, 2015 07:53
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Volunteer to teach one of those fitness boot camp things, but instead of smoking them toss that fucker in the room and make them recite the pledge of allegiance before they can leave
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Dec 10, 2015 08:32
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:Okay, fine you fuckers. I'm taking the word of both google and a cop. I do not wish to create joinder with law enforcement. As a recruiter, I knew a guy who was a rep for a bunch of companies that sold less than lethal stuff to law enforcement. Dude was a prior Marine so he'd invite me to take my poolees out to his ranch and go paintballing. He had flashbangs, smoke, stinger ball grenades, and CS. I can confirm that CS grenades are fun to play with but it's hell ever getting the residue off of the floor. You'll be coughing every time you kick up dust. Also, those get red hot so don't put it on anything that'll burn.
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Dec 10, 2015 08:32
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Yeah, I know just enough about them to know they're bad news if mishandled. I've got it locked in a gun safe. I figure that will be good enough until I can figure out proper disposal.
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Dec 10, 2015 14:19
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:If only there was a GiP LEO in Louisiana... If you send it to me I'll just pop it off in the mall or something, maybe next year for Black Friday. I suggest you do the same 
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Dec 10, 2015 15:00
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A few things are arriving this weekend then I'll be sending off my gift to secret satan
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Dec 10, 2015 18:32
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Kandak Sayaqa posted:Yeah, I know just enough about them to know they're bad news if mishandled. go to your next local civil disobedience gathering and throw it at the cops or the protesters or the media or who knows! the mystery of your target is part of the fun!
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Dec 11, 2015 05:56
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Package sent. Secret satan should get his new toys Monday
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Dec 11, 2015 23:26
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Got my secret santa stuff Holy poo poo. Will post pics later. FYI santee: Mine will be sent out next week when the rest of the stuff arrives.
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Dec 12, 2015 20:42
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Helldump Immunity. posted:
Same here. Should get the final item NLT the 18th (hopefully sooner, it shipped several days ago but no tracking). It'll hit the mail the day after I receive it.
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Dec 12, 2015 22:36
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I have no idea who my Santa is but I'm not planning on being home 23rd to 3rd, so probably don't send anything then.
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Dec 12, 2015 23:06
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Helldump Immunity. posted:Got my secret santa stuff Rad. Hope you like it.
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Dec 13, 2015 00:19
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Well thanks for the glitter bomb Santa  Don't worry, there was waaaaay more glitter than that so you totally got your  worth. My wife opened it and it got all over her and our new couch. Really wish you'd gone for the "ship your friends bacon" option but here we are. well played my GiP, well played.
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Dec 13, 2015 01:57
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LOL I'M SORRY I HAD TO (Also paid the $.83 for extra glitter) Your real gift should be in the mail btw Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Dec 13, 2015 |
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Dec 13, 2015 02:03
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Do you know how long I've been F5'n this thread
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Dec 13, 2015 02:07
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Is there a return address on the "real" gift? Cause I'm mos def gonna return some glitter to you son. E: also got to explain what SMDFTB meant to my wife which was a cool holiday conversation.
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Dec 13, 2015 02:12
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Shoot I hope there's not a return address Rad Lieutenant posted:E: also got to explain what SMDFTB meant to my wife which was a cool holiday conversation. lol
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Dec 13, 2015 02:15
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"From the back??" "Yeah, cause... You know, cause then your face would be like... in my rear end."
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Dec 13, 2015 02:16
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Lol, just lol, if you're on the GiP SS list and you didn't warn your wife about opening strange mail indoors. But sending bacon to a cop would be a good choice.
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Dec 13, 2015 02:21
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Rad do you BBQ/cook a lot? I hope so
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Dec 13, 2015 02:23
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Rad Lieutenant posted:"From the back??" 
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Dec 13, 2015 02:24
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gently caress yes, I'm grilling at least once a week Kandak Sayaqa posted:Lol, just lol, if you're on the GiP SS list and you didn't warn your wife about opening strange mail indoors. Hey man, there's a lot of stuff I don't tell my wife. Living a double life and having a variety of questionable sexual partners is just part of being a good detective. I usually just get to the mail first 
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Dec 13, 2015 02:25
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It's really not worth the energy trying to explain SA poo poo to people. "Do you know these people?" "Well no I mean...."
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Dec 13, 2015 02:44
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My santee, one part of your gift is on its way to me, and I will send your gift once I get it.
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Dec 13, 2015 08:20
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Gift purchased, should be packed and shipped off by Wednesday at the latest. Went thoughtful instead of malicious, so Hopefully the recipient appreciates not being put on any watchlists at least.
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Dec 13, 2015 21:27
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