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Vitamins
May 1, 2012


a 500% ticket price increase year on year for a billion years

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Bozza
Mar 5, 2004

"I'm a really useful engine!"
Government subsidy or increased ticket prices.

Most trains do run on time, the biggest problem is that we run waaaaay too many trains for the level of infrastructure available in this country.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Define 'on time'

Also I think measuring by numbers of trains on time is fallacious, because no-one cares that a 3-person train in the Welsh valleys is not late. It's the ten minute delay to thousands and thousands of people on e.g. the manchester commute that causes a problem.

Hang the government and make train tracks from their bones, imo

Bozza
Mar 5, 2004

"I'm a really useful engine!"
On time is defined as within 5 mins of booked arrival at destination for local services, within 10 minutes for long distance.

This is more strict than any other mode of transportations definition of "on time" I believe.

E: also this has only really become a thing since privatisation because it's how delay minutes are calculated.

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


it's annoying me how many people who keep saying tim peake is the first british astronaut, especially the news who should know better

Carpet
Apr 2, 2005

Don't press play
Andy Murray, first British winner of Wimbledon for 70 years!

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


Trains are occasionally on time. None of the fuckers actually have the capacity required though.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
The problem is nothing to do with trains and everything to do with the number of workers trying to access an obscenely tightly grouped set of businesses in the centre of a city that none of them actually want to live in. It is the basic problem of every major city.

Burn it all down, full communism now, hail Satan, etc..

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

Squalitude posted:

How much will it cost to make the trains run on time

We have to give Bozza a snazzy uniform, some jackboots and a nice hat.

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


goatface posted:

Burn it all down, full communism now, hail Satan, etc..

Yes.

learnincurve
May 15, 2014

Smoosh
The problem is that our freaking trains are not long enough, somehow we accepted this utter bullshit excuse about only being able to add on two extra carriages with another engine attached and if there are none spare then there is nothing they can do or whatever the bollocks they spout is. So now the train companies know that instead of having to upgrade trains so that they are at the same standard as somewhere like Germany, Japan or Switzerland, 300 people who all catch the same train will just grumble a bit and still pay £20 a pop to be rammed into two poo poo 1980s carriages instead of telling the conductor to gently caress off I'm not paying for this poor standard of service.

corn in the fridge
Jan 15, 2012

by Shine
i too am very annoyed by minor inconveniences

corn in the fridge
Jan 15, 2012

by Shine
also lol tokyos train system is even more hosed up and crowded than Londons wtf is your point even

ookiimarukochan
Apr 4, 2011

corn in the fridge posted:

also lol tokyos train system is even more hosed up and crowded than Londons wtf is your point even

The people who talk about how great the train system in Japan is have never actually tried to use them to get to work during peak commuter hours so they have no idea just how bad the crowding gets or how late / slow trains can be.

Bobby Deluxe
May 9, 2004

how dare you speak ill of my spiritualhome, glorious nippon

corn in the fridge
Jan 15, 2012

by Shine

Bobby Deluxe posted:

how dare you speak ill of my spiritualhome, glorious nippon

settle down fluo

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



the trains are poo poo, the roads are poo poo, cycling is poo poo, walking is poo poo, flying is poo poo... Horseriding wins?

lenoon
Jan 7, 2010

Horses are dumb and bad

Source: am a horse

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid
there are trains outside of london

and theyre garbage

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


horses are great, they try and commit suicide randomly throughout the day for no apparent reason, we could all learn a lesson from them

Fluo
May 25, 2007

Pistol_Pete posted:

I never order the salad, it just kind of turns up with the rest of the food. I always assume it's intended as an offering to some Hindu bin god and act accordingly.

yeah I never order it but its thrown in


like with chinese I get prawn crackers thrown in, korean some kimchi but whenever a curry its that soggy goes in the bin salad

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


Vitamins posted:

for no apparent reason,

no your right I would love to carry clarinda and claire around all day with a bit of metal wodged in my mouth and occasional whippings

would not want to kill myself at all

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Grand-Maman m'a raconté
(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)

Hello, dear

feedmegin posted:

We have to give Bozza a snazzy uniform, some jackboots and a nice hat.

he'd still look like a fat bellend :/

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


simplefish posted:

no your right I would love to carry clarinda and claire around all day with a bit of metal wodged in my mouth and occasional whippings

would not want to kill myself at all

plastic bags and cars giving a wide berth and mild wind are not threats!

will accept spiders and wet leaves as reasons though cos they're gross

Fluo
May 25, 2007

buteruc posted:

I ate an entire Co Op cake.

yum!

Fluo
May 25, 2007

corn in the fridge posted:

settle down fluo

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007

poor freckles, thought of ants and died :rip:

Fingerless Gloves
May 21, 2011

... aaand also go away and don't come back
Horse patrols at night in nightclub districts are the weirdest poo poo, how can a horse be frightened by a car being within a half mile but not phased St being pawed at by 30 drunk scousers with Sean Paul blaring down one ear and Duran Duran down the other

crispix
Mar 28, 2015

Grand-Maman m'a raconté
(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)

Hello, dear

Fingerless Gloves posted:

Horse patrols at night in nightclub districts are the weirdest poo poo, how can a horse be frightened by a car being within a half mile but not phased St being pawed at by 30 drunk scousers with Sean Paul blaring down one ear and Duran Duran down the other

in Glasgow they use them a lot to police football matches, and they walk in traffic

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer

XMNN posted:

there are trains outside of london

and theyre garbage

All the government statistics are based on the ones connected to London, other regions get to suck dicks and turn up when they feel like it.

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


McDragon posted:

poor freckles, thought of ants and died :rip:

that thread was amazing

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

crispix posted:

he'd still look like a fat bellend :/

Well, so did Mussolini, so...

buteruc
Feb 12, 2009

just ordered dominos because i hate myself.

XMNN
Apr 26, 2008
I am incredibly stupid

Fingerless Gloves posted:

Horse patrols at night in nightclub districts are the weirdest poo poo, how can a horse be frightened by a car being within a half mile but not phased St being pawed at by 30 drunk scousers with Sean Paul blaring down one ear and Duran Duran down the other
they used to charge horses into screaming crowds of unwashed peasants

and by used to i mean they still do

horses that are scared of traffic are the molly coddled middle class ones that should be shot and turned into glue like theyre owners

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

trains are bad, horses are bad, bowling is bad (i went bowling tonight)

Bobby Deluxe
May 9, 2004

some hotels are nice, im in a hotel and can confirm its nice

triangular man
Feb 13, 2015

Hello

I am unemployed atm and now I have to go to the job centre every day for half an hour so they can presumably supervise my internet job searches. Essentially they're taking 1.5-2 hours out of my day to travel there and back which could be better spent looking for jobs

Also they've changed the sign on thing to an electronic tablet which never works and you have to do it several times, streamlining nothing :doh:

I don't like being benefit scum :(

Bozza
Mar 5, 2004

"I'm a really useful engine!"

learnincurve posted:

The problem is that our freaking trains are not long enough, somehow we accepted this utter bullshit excuse about only being able to add on two extra carriages with another engine attached and if there are none spare then there is nothing they can do or whatever the bollocks they spout is. So now the train companies know that instead of having to upgrade trains so that they are at the same standard as somewhere like Germany, Japan or Switzerland, 300 people who all catch the same train will just grumble a bit and still pay £20 a pop to be rammed into two poo poo 1980s carriages instead of telling the conductor to gently caress off I'm not paying for this poor standard of service.

lol yep, we'll just make the trains longer this will not be an issue at all

fucks sake this is like babbys first I don't know what I'm talking about argument

Vitamins
May 1, 2012


i like how every train has its resident drunk glaswegian with a plastic bag full of special brew, is that like part of the package when you buy a train?

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



bigger and longer. two words that scare people who like trains

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