Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

D_Smart posted:

Sorry, but I don't know how you missed the game docs, quick help, key commands - all built into the game.

Also, the quick help (recently update to reflect the aircraft and other unlocks in the .07 build in testing) pretty much tells you everything you need to know. Without ever reading the manual.

Let me know what you missed so that I can better understand it; because even though it's in development, I try to keep the docs up to date because I realize that it's a massive game and it needs to be accessible at launch.

Absolutely nobody in the world wants to read text documents when they boot up a game for the first time. You gotta get a proper tutorial section in there if you want player retention longer than a fart. Players might read those document things if and when they actually get invested enough in the game to want to be good at it, but if I can't just jump in an have the game tell me where to go and what to shoot I'm not gonna give a gently caress.

Look at planetside 2 introduction for a good one. Make a character and BAM you're in a drop pod and poo poo is exploding all around and holy gently caress everything is awesome! Until you get into a plane immedietly crash which is when you curse and go look for those game docs to learn to fly the bloody things.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:52

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 05:40

Haskell9: Sep 23, 2008; post it live; The Great Twist

Google Butt posted:

nice fan fic goon

what if it's not :tinfoil:

The SC forums supposedly have 10x the userbase of SA over its entire existence yet the same ~100 people are in every thread. The brown sea is a lie! The mafia is coming! *rides off like Paul Revere*

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:55

Ostentatious: Sep 29, 2010

this is all obama's doing, I can sense it

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:57

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Friendly Tumour posted:

Absolutely nobody in the world wants to read text documents when they boot up a game for the first time. You gotta get a proper tutorial section in there if you want player retention longer than a fart. Players might read those document things if and when they actually get invested enough in the game to want to be good at it, but if I can't just jump in an have the game tell me where to go and what to shoot I'm not gonna give a gently caress.

Look at planetside 2 introduction for a good one. Make a character and BAM you're in a drop pod and poo poo is exploding all around and holy gently caress everything is awesome! Until you get into a plane immedietly crash which is when you curse and go look for those game docs to learn to fly the bloody things.

I agree. And I am planning on doing that at some point.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:58

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

eat poo poo scalia :eonwe:

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:58

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

Haskell9 posted:

Ortwin:

Laundering money to waste on paying for weekly video content and the salaries of hundreds of people stuck making an impossible game with the wrong engine doesn't look like a clever master plan to me.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:58

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Gilganixon posted:

no comic from me today because i've been busy

here have this

this is what I was busy with. i give you : the Stimperor

Hi-fidelity in a nice frame for you to hang up in your place of deskeletonisation:

Low fidelity (without glass). It's still pretty immersive though - in fact the stimperor commands you to immerse yourself in eternisators and stomach bile for ever and ever

Lowest fidelity. No glass, no frame, no backing It's the Stimperor, what do you want (you can do what you want with this one).

Bonus: Supremely low fidelity : looking at this one will cause the Stimperor to remove you eyes and pack the cavities with one of the worst kinds of electricity and then sew the whole mess back up (i did this rough on the train)

Whichever prevert is running the stimperor twitter account using a pain marine picture should switch over to one of these ones or risk having his legs and arms ripped off and replaced with pain sticks and a special machine that kicks you in the dick every half a second

Fake edit : gently caress your frames, gaze upon your Stimperor

Holy poo poo

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:58

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Gary Oldman was an inside job! :tinfoil:

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:58

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

D_Smart posted:

I agree. And I am planning on doing that at some point.

Cool!

# ? Feb 14, 2016 02:59

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

D_Smart posted:

1) That was some guy making videos of the upcoming .07 build currently on our testing server

2) The flight model is a) simplistic b) undergoing tweaks to suit *this* game

3) The game was never billed as a "sim"; so I'm not shooting for "fidelity" in the flight dynamics

4) I've been writing flight dynamics engine for decades; so I'm not new at this. Here is a sample of my work in a game from 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teR46d0hsk8

And I posted this video today. It's a clip from another engagement in another game (also from 2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EatDs9Q-WYM

The above flight model is highly complex, takes a bit of learning. And I do NOT want that in LOD. That's why I'm not using it.

As I mentioned in the changelog (from the .07 build currently in testing and which that guy was playing to test the aircraft)

Okay, I respect that this was a choice

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:00

Haskell9: Sep 23, 2008; post it live; The Great Twist

AP posted:

Laundering money to waste on paying for weekly video content and the salaries of hundreds of people stuck making an impossible game with the wrong engine doesn't look like a clever master plan to me.

The legit donations pay for that crap. The Swedish pimp and blow money is used to buy expensive untraceable things from companies owned by people named Bjorgg Harrsson and Ab Wollders. It's all so clear!

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:04

Sushi in Yiddish: Feb 2, 2008

Haskell9 posted:

The SEA PATROL guys even have rectal CPAPs like Stimperial marines.

The Subnautica guys are leaving money on the table if they don't make this an expansion.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:05

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I cant wait for Star Citizen to come out

with a release date

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:07

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

starkebn posted:

Okay, I respect that this was a choice

Indeed. But even so, it doesn't mean that I'm going to release the game with lovely flight dynamics when aerial and space flight combat are an integral part of the game. The game is in development, so everything gets tweaked along the way.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:10

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu-1MKv_xik

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:14

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Embittered Grand Admiral [$2500+]

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:15

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

Tried booting LoD up, got a ERR1010 - failed to reach game server. For the third time now since Tortolia kindly gifted the game to me. Come on Derek I wanna play your dumb game

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:16

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

Friendly Tumour posted:

Tried booting LoD up, got a ERR1010 - failed to reach game server. For the third time now since Tortolia kindly gifted the game to me. Come on Derek I wanna play your dumb game

I got that twice then changed servers.

I got an empty space ship full of robots.

Pros - things looked cool and i liked the synth music

Cons - no one to kill

overall i give it LoD out of 10 (i'll try again tomorrow when i'm not dead)

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:20

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

I spent many minutes wondering around LoD alone as my character Chris Roberts, it was strange and almost poetic in a way

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:23

BluestreakBTHR: Oct 2, 2015; Fucking Star Citizen True Believers are passive-aggressive douchebags. Sorry if I have the ability to use my critical thinking skills. I didn't drink the Kool-Aid, motherfuckers.

That's me trying way too hard to fit in here. Please accept me, I need validation. I'm very depressed.; Grimey Drawer

AP posted:

https://twitter.com/jcrg99/status/653183760733761536

Note the early years email signature.

https://twitter.com/jcrg99/status/653182394984476673

Sandi doesn't seem to appreciate receiving email on her private email account... interdasting. oval office.

Daztek posted:

Huh, what happened to that show? He's so cheery

He's still cheery. He was laughing while gutting Chris and Sandi like trout during his crowdfunding Q&A session at SXSW this year.

AP posted:

Someone doing a job he enjoys and seems to have fun in life and not take himself too seriously, he didn't last long.

Did you hear? After he left CIG, he made and released a game. That actually works. The working title was "STFU" - now it's legally "Descent: Underground"

Madcosby posted:

Grap dip ed, commandos

Bah weep gra nah weep ninibong.

D_Smart posted:

Outstanding!!

If you are technically inclined and don't mind the work, you should grab the MASSIVE .07 update that's currently in testing on our dev staging server. More info here http://lodmmo.com/changelog/

When it's released and had burned-in for a week or so, I'm giving every loving Goon who asks for one, a free key. One of my main objectives is to cram 256 people (a single scene limit) in a single scene in one test later this month.

I've got fives of listeners that may be interested. Let me know when you're ready, come back on my show, and we'll give some keys away to ~~victims~~ winners!

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:30

Haskell9: Sep 23, 2008; post it live; The Great Twist

peter gabriel posted:

I spent many minutes wondering around LoD alone as my character Chris Roberts, it was strange and almost poetic in a way

So you're the bastard who sniped that. I settled for Ortwin Freyermuth, whom I think someone internally is conspiring to keep off the Time Played leaderboard haha

edited:
BluestreakBTHR posted:
He's still cheery. He was laughing while gutting Chris and Sandi like trout during his crowdfunding Q&A session at SXSW this year.

Is there a link to this?

Haskell9 fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Feb 14, 2016

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:30

DigitalMocking: Jun 8, 2010; Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin

D_Smart posted:

500+ people (at peak)
5 yrs
>$108M+

vs

18 people (at peak)
5yrs
<$15M
I should bloody well hope so. But newsflash, that's not true. It's only a matter of time now. Once the next major patch and the one after hit, the entire game comes together.

FYI, you're playing a 2.5 month old version atm. And which doesn't even have aircraft unlocked. So I have no idea how you ended up making that conclusion. With a straight face. Nice try though.

Just an over-arching comparison. SC-PU is poo poo. LOD is poo poo. Hopefully your next patch makes it less poo poo, but hey, you got :10bux:

from me.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:33

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

Gilganixon posted:

I got that twice then changed servers.

I got an empty space ship full of robots.

Pros - things looked cool and i liked the synth music

Cons - no one to kill

overall i give it LoD out of 10 (i'll try again tomorrow when i'm not dead)

Finally got in. The gun sounds are rubbish

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:37

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Haskell9 posted:

So you're the bastard who sniped that. I settled for Ortwin Freyermuth, whom I think someone internally is conspiring to keep off the Time Played leaderboard haha

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:37

grimcreaper: Jan 7, 2012

peter gabriel posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vu-1MKv_xik

You have done it again. your skills will truly show the citizens what for and mean to be... super parps.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:41

Madcosby: Mar 4, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

No more refunds.

Madcosby
Hig Scho Dip Sndwch Artst

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:41

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

grimcreaper posted:

You have done it again. your skills will truly show the citizens what for and mean to be... super parps.

The Parp is the only truth and the light

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:43

Haskell9: Sep 23, 2008; post it live; The Great Twist

Friendly Tumour posted:

Finally got in. The gun sounds are rubbish

I hope the sound is in early alpha because it's like 1998-level overall currently. If I turn music off my guy runs around surrounded by absolute silence except for the KLOPF KLOPF KLOPF of his clanky Thief:The Dark Project boots.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:54

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Friendly Tumour posted:

Finally got in. The gun sounds are rubbish

https://vimeo.com/138360203

I guess these didn't make it in either. Money well laundered.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 03:56

lollontee: Nov 4, 2014; Can't post for 10 years!

Dusty Lens posted:

https://vimeo.com/138360203

I guess these didn't make it in either. Money well laundered.

Those sound really cool and good so I'm not surprised they were dropped. Not shat to quality standard

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:00

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

I'm still impressed that they managed to make Cry Engine look like Doom 3 but sound worse.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:01

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Are the backers really going to sleepwalk through 2016, and be just fine with no PTU releases, while SQ42 gets all the focus? Nobody wants it, and they're not even showing the work they're doing. Even if they showed that much, the more insane backers would probably extrapolate that progress into something they're getting eventually on the PTU, as ridiculous a prospect as that is. This is just crazy weird to me. 2015 was so exciting, there was so much energy, so much active lying, misdirection, propaganda, etc. This year is spooky. CIG just basically revealed themselves in all their scam glory, said "gently caress you, we have the money, we're making what we want" which I was certain would cause the community to implode. Instead the backers are just standing there with their dicks in their hands, saying, "We believe in you Chris, this all sounds great to us" then they hop back on the message boards to circle-jerk about being able to set up a Foreman grill on an asteroid.

Where's the outrage? Where's the panic? I'm literally unable to conceive at this point what it would take for these people to finally grab their pitchforks. They've been deceived, censored, mislead, and outright robbed, and it's all good. Meanwhile Square-Enix makes a change to someone's hair color and it's open revolt.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:03

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Trust in CIG right now is impossible for me I am not stupid enough - Space Marshal [$5000+]

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:09

Nemo2342: Nov 26, 2007; Have A Day; Nap Ghost

Gilganixon posted:

no comic from me today because i've been busy

here have this

this is what I was busy with. i give you : the Stimperor

Hi-fidelity in a nice frame for you to hang up in your place of deskeletonisation:

Low fidelity (without glass). It's still pretty immersive though - in fact the stimperor commands you to immerse yourself in eternisators and stomach bile for ever and ever

Lowest fidelity. No glass, no frame, no backing It's the Stimperor, what do you want (you can do what you want with this one).

Bonus: Supremely low fidelity : looking at this one will cause the Stimperor to remove you eyes and pack the cavities with one of the worst kinds of electricity and then sew the whole mess back up (i did this rough on the train)

Whichever prevert is running the stimperor twitter account using a pain marine picture should switch over to one of these ones or risk having his legs and arms ripped off and replaced with pain sticks and a special machine that kicks you in the dick every half a second

Fake edit : gently caress your frames, gaze upon your Stimperor

These are amazing, and I hope the Stimperor (who everyone should follow on Twitter) will update his account with one of them soon.

Galarox posted:

Dear god! Where on earth did you find that?

The original source for them is here: http://www.plasticbrickautomaton.com/?id=71

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:13

Goobs: Jan 30, 2016; Doxcat is watching you PU.

So, the stimperor worships Slaanesh?

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:16

Lime Tonics: Nov 7, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iz6sOKL6rBE

I have found the crab enemy.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:23

A Loud Fart: Sep 9, 2011

Star Citizen's free to fly is a waste of bandwidth, leaving goons to bird swoop and destroy spaceships people paid hundreds of dollars for.

Success?

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:24

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

AP posted:

CYBER TERRORIST

From pages back but I like how relentlessly Kataq pursued the doxxers who tried everything from Godwin to projection and appeals to authority to screaming that they couldn't prove anything (even though they started with clear evidence that would) and they were "nothing" and they WON and MOVE ON in a desperate bid to finally have the last word which seemed to be the most important part of their idiotic defenses. Still not getting the point that making the threat was the offence, not whether they could substantiate it. It's rare to see someone push that hard for that long to such creeps.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:30

Lime Tonics: Nov 7, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

A Loud Fart posted:

Star Citizen's free to fly is a waste of bandwidth, leaving goons to bird swoop and destroy spaceships people paid hundreds of dollars for.

Success?

Partly. The free fly users never got to get the real feel of the patcher system first hand. Looks like 1, 135kb file didn't verify right, re-download 32 gigs required. Takes 3 days to download because the servers are maxed, not our problem. Etc.etc.

Other than that, yeah game was advertised pretty much to be a garbage code disposal with cry engine thrown in.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:44

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 05:40

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

"Look at theeese! Huh huh huh huh" - Sandi Gardiner obliquely referring to her own breasts.

# ? Feb 14, 2016 04:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »