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Galarox posted:I am trying to find that Sandi youtube vid where she is "auditioning" and being accused of murder in the vid (the words wooden acting are perfectly defined in this horrorshow but I forgot to bookmark it and now cant find it - it might have been removed, I dunno). Can anyone find me a link? TIA This one? : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPAF5s-9mVE
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Feb 15, 2016 19:33
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fuzzknot posted:My coworker and I discussed it, and I said "Literally EVERYONE knows you have to elevate injuries above the level of the heart. RICE = Rest Ice Compression Elevation. That's not even from my first aid certification (and [the boss] supposedly has one too so why the gently caress doesn't he know this?)" Half Life 3 confirmed!
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Feb 15, 2016 19:36
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nopantsjack posted:Ever since you started talking about your bosses they've had nonstop misery and hardship so its pretty clearly an encoded voodoun curse upon CIG. That's why I do it.  Nah, it's always been like this; they're just stupid people whose ridiculous decisions produce inevitable, hilarious conesquences.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:38
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Berious posted:Dowlphin talks a lot about terrible mental anguish and unbearable pain that only jpegs can salve. He really really needs to see a psychiatrist. For real. https://twitter.com/Dowlphin/status/695790198781829120
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Feb 15, 2016 19:38
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So which one of you silly fucks is space plebian?
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Feb 15, 2016 19:40
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#IAmAStarPlebean
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Feb 15, 2016 19:42
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Iglocska posted:So which one of you silly fucks is space plebian? Bonjour Commando
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Feb 15, 2016 19:44
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AP posted:That's him, if you want to get banned on RSI post in his recruitment thread. Just looked at his recruitment thread from your link. I am off work with a back injury at the moment and I just loving tweaked it again thanks to you, because laughing. 20+ pages of "bump"... oh dear god I have tears of laughter on my face and agony in my back (Stimpire) but it was worth it man, it was worth it  e: for spelling
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Feb 15, 2016 19:44
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Galarox posted:Looking through Homeless Santas' new TOS I noticed this: Wow. At some point, someone at CIG was thinking about a scenario and decided on this rule in order to solve it. I wonder if they count irony as one of the secret codes that you're not allowed to use.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:44
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A Neurotic Jew posted:Bonjour Commando Well played kind sir, you've beat me to the same point by a whole minute.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:45
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nopantsjack posted:Ever since you started talking about your bosses they've had nonstop misery and hardship so its pretty clearly an encoded voodoun curse upon CIG. Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office. Please, thread, give me your ideas.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:49
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Iglocska posted:Well played kind sir, you've beat me to the same point by a whole minute. In Star Citizen's thrilling development, a minute is an eternity
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Feb 15, 2016 19:50
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Why does her costume keep changing? One moment she is in a prison uniform, the next, a business suit, then back to prison uniform, then business suit etc. I don't get it.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:53
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fuzzknot posted:Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office. Run them over with your car after everyone else has gone home for the day. But make sure they aren't in a marked crosswalk. That way when she's like "OH MY GOD MY SPEAKERS GOT RUN OVER" everyone in the office will be like "I mean... maybe you should have taught them to use a crosswalk?" Boom. Free and clear.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:53
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fuzzknot posted:Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office. Channel your inner Mr Bean/Inspector Clouseau. The rest writes itself.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:55
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fuctifino posted:Why does her costume keep changing? One moment she is in a prison uniform, the next, a business suit, then back to prison uniform, then business suit etc. Fidelity
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Feb 15, 2016 19:56
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fuctifino posted:Why does her costume keep changing? One moment she is in a prison uniform, the next, a business suit, then back to prison uniform, then business suit etc. a-la-carte interview, pick the outfit you like best
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Feb 15, 2016 19:56
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fuzzknot posted:Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office.  
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Feb 15, 2016 19:57
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fuzzknot posted:WIENER SCHNITZEL Hahahaha, your boss is Michael Scott.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:57
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Beet Wagon posted:Run them over with your car after everyone else has gone home for the day. But make sure they aren't in a marked crosswalk. That way when she's like "OH MY GOD MY SPEAKERS GOT RUN OVER" everyone in the office will be like "I mean... you're not supposed to cross outside of a crosswalk, so maybe it's a little bit their fault?" I don't think they'd believe that was an accident. It'd be far simpler if she didn't share an office with the other, reasonably computer literate boss. I encountered a similar situation a while back with one of the sales reps; he was always playing tacky country songs loudly on his computer. He's also the most computer illiterate person I've ever met (He can't even copy and paste . . . ), so all I had to do was mute his speakers. He STILL thinks they're broken, at least in part because the three or so people he's asked how to fix it so far all hate his lovely music too, so they've all pretended his broken speakers are a mystery. I won't be able to get away with that on the boss's computer, though.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:59
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Galarox posted:Channel your inner Mr Bean/Inspector Clouseau. The rest writes itself. Good thinking. I am very clumsy; I can probably get away with walking in there to drop something in her in tray, catching my high heel on the carpet, twisting my ankle, falling across her desk, and knocking the speakers violently onto the floor while "accidentally" Hulk stomping them as I try to catch my balance. It needs to be more permanent than that. She's not that bright, but the other boss might be.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:01
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How easily could you get an electromagnet in there?
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Feb 15, 2016 20:02
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SelenicMartian posted:But can you do this with your flowers? It's pretty gross stuffing your gob on camera IMO. The show is like, what, an hour long and you can't wait until it's over to eat? But what do I know I'm just some idiot on the internet not the best saleswoman in the world since I was a little girl. also  Toops posted:Just doin' a lil' iteration here guys, thanks for your feedback. We're making progress. Can setting Fidelity to 'Dreams' just make it display one of those NASA space photos that are hundreds of MB, and then it crashes.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:02
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fuzzknot posted:I don't think they'd believe that was an accident. It'd be far simpler if she didn't share an office with the other, reasonably computer literate boss. I encountered a similar situation a while back with one of the sales reps; he was always playing tacky country songs loudly on his computer. He's also the most computer illiterate person I've ever met (He can't even copy and paste . . . ), so all I had to do was mute his speakers. He STILL thinks they're broken, at least in part because the three or so people he's asked how to fix it so far all hate his lovely music too, so they've all pretended his broken speakers are a mystery. I won't be able to get away with that on the boss's computer, though. Hmm... for it to really be sold as an accident you need witnesses. Preferably the boss herself. If she sees it go down and believes it's an accident, no questions will be asked. So you're gonna need a couple things: One wooden A-frame ladder, 6 or 8 feet high depending on how high the ceiling in your office is One gallon of paint similar to (or exact, if you can find it) the paint color in your office One hacksaw Saw off one of the legs of the ladder, then set it up somewhere in the office, resting precariously on the removed leg. Place the speakers, paint can, and paint brush on top of the ladder, preferably near some kind of stain or damaged paint if you have any of that in your office. When your boss asks where her speakers are, tell her they said something about finally painting over that drat spot. She'll go to get them, the ladder will "break" and the speakers will fall to their death. Maybe you can even angle for a mental health day - watching someone fall off a ladder and die is potentially traumatizing!
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Feb 15, 2016 20:04
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fuzzknot posted:Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office. Any plan that involve sabotage of the speakers themselves is a no go since it will be solved by buying new speakers with company money. I would suggest a social engineering solution instead. Find the music or artist she likes best and then find horrible trivia about how <Favorite artist> is a horrible <racist, nazi, mean to the disabled, hurt annimals, not support our troops, ect> then drop subtle hints around the topic in office conversation untill the music stop or change. That or you can pretend ear drums damage or tinitus and carry foarm earplugs for those awfull music moments.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:05
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Set the system to play Tupac whenever she tries to send any kind of sound to the speakers
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Feb 15, 2016 20:09
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Replace the show tunes with nothing but  PAAAARP mp3s, labelled similarly to the show tunes.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:09
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ZenMaster posted:Hahahaha, your boss is Michael Scott. Yes, but without the occasional competence. Astroniomix posted:How easily could you get an electromagnet in there? Not very. I don't want to risk loving up her whole computer; she does payroll. alphabettitouretti posted:It's pretty gross stuffing your gob on camera IMO. The show is like, what, an hour long and you can't wait until it's over to eat? But what do I know I'm just some idiot on the internet not the best saleswoman in the world since I was a little girl. Yeah, it's pretty unprofessional. But so is everything she does. Still, you'd think, as an aspiring actress, she'd be more cognizant of being on camera and NOT proving just how incapable she is of being on camera without loving it up completely. also Johnny Depp wore it better.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:10
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Daztek posted:Pgabz will make it right Pgabz makes EVERYTHING right.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:10
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fuzzknot posted:
Well if they got by speaker cloth, just remove it and tear it through with a key or something, then replace cloth
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Feb 15, 2016 20:13
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witness this, the most awesome of RSI rear end-fucks: https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/45y024/anyway_to_buy_squadron_42_alone/   basically, because this guy bought a stand-alone ship, he doesn't have access to the Star Citizen alpha. Because he did not buy access to the Star Citizen Alpha, he cannot get the $15 Squadron 42 add-on. If he wants access to both games it will be an additional $60 on top of what he paid for the stand-alone ship. way cool 
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Feb 15, 2016 20:14
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A Neurotic Jew posted:witness this, the most awesome of RSI rear end-fucks: Ehh, not really a big deal imo. He could melt his non-ship and get a "package"
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Feb 15, 2016 20:17
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fuzzknot posted:Actually, it's not just their own bad luck; my coworkers and I are definitely guilty of sabotage. Right now I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the other boss's speakers and make it look like an accident so she'll quit blasting lovely show tunes through the office. Just start taking the plug the speakers go into the computer and rotate it at the base where the plug and wire meet for a good 5 minutes every once in a while. Eventually the wires will short out and they'll stop working or be super spotty
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Feb 15, 2016 20:19
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I love at the beginning of RTV, Sandi gets super paranoid and asks why everyone else is smiling. lol She's terrible at masking being high, but I suppose you need some kind of acting skill to be able to do that.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:22
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flyboi posted:Just start taking the plug the speakers go into the computer and rotate it at the base where the plug and wire meet for a good 5 minutes every once in a while. Eventually the wires will short out and they'll stop working or be super spotty I think the problem we're running into is that anything we dream up will either be fixed by buying a new set of speakers or having the "functioning human" boss unfuck any computer fuckery she tries.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:22
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Beet Wagon posted:You're forgetting the very real and true fact that all goons ARE Derek Smart alts, 1000% confirmed. Really? Then why am I poor and single?
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Feb 15, 2016 20:22
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when did this turn into the fuzznot general chat thread? fuzzknot, you should explore the forums and possibly find other threads to post in
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Feb 15, 2016 20:23
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Derek Smart DEREK SMART DEREK SMART Star Citizen, Derek Smart and Me quote:So I was looking at why I felt bad about Star Citizen a while ago. I did a little digging and found that most of the issues I thought were going to kill the game were coming from one man. They may have been spewed by others and embellished but ultimately there was one man causing a lot of grief and making a lot of claims. haven't watched it yet but I'm expecting good times.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:23
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fuctifino posted:Why does her costume keep changing? One moment she is in a prison uniform, the next, a business suit, then back to prison uniform, then business suit etc. The short answer : She's terrible. the long answer : She's REALLY loving terrible.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:23
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Samizdata posted:Really? Then why am I poor and single? D_Smart's many personalities lead very different and interesting lives. Looks like you just drew the short straw. I'm Derek Smart the Marine Biologist/Fighter Pilot.
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Feb 15, 2016 20:23
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