RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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JohnnyCanuck: May 28, 2004; Strong And/Or Free

MiniFoo posted:

A picture came in:

Zoom and enhance!

# ? Mar 15, 2016 04:35

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# ? May 24, 2024 18:09

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

DigitalMocking posted:

75+ ticket backlog has come in this month.

Adding a second building about 1.5 miles away next month.

Team + our boss to director: "Hey, we need at least another person on tier 1 to cover the new building once its live".

Director:

just wondering, what should you guys do if you had the resources and have you talked to your team about it?

# ? Mar 15, 2016 04:38

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

A ticket came in.

A plane ticket to another city :nsacloud:

Because I'm installing a server there next week on the public holiday :smithcloud:

# ? Mar 15, 2016 05:19

MiniFoo: Dec 25, 2006; ~~METH~~AMPHETAMINE

I already knew what the picture was about, but I thought the effort was funny.

The effort involved in solving the problem, however, is not. :smithicide:

# ? Mar 15, 2016 06:08

wa27: Jan 15, 2007

MiniFoo posted:

A picture came in:

You sure you don't want to block out any confidential information in that pic?

# ? Mar 15, 2016 06:39

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

If you can find any confidential information in that tiny-rear end resolution I'd argue you're welcome to it.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 06:48

Sywert of Thieves: Nov 7, 2005; The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

JohnnyCanuck posted:

Zoom and enhance!

Yes sir!

*clicks timg*

oh.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 08:39

IllusionistTrixie: Feb 6, 2003

pixaal posted:

Reducing the number of cores can actually increase the speed of a VM. If you make a 10 core DC it wont be able to do anything until 10 cores have a free cycle, it will then use all 10 for the single thread it needed because the OS expects the 10 and will poll them for information. DCs should be 1 maybe 2 cores. Specs your machines correctly.

Over provisioning is a common thing with VMs, give them what you think they will need and increase them as needed. If they are sitting mostly idle decrease their resources. The only thing that probably isn't an issue on is thin provisioned RAM and drive space. Even then a run away log could eat a ton of space, and the RAM might get used as a cache for something that only gets used once a year automatically because there is free RAM. Databases love to just use every meg of RAM you throw at them for doing stupid things.

To follow up on this I finally got the guy to explain what he needed.

http://docwiki.cisco.com/wiki/UC_Virtualization_Supported_Hardware#.22Can_I_use_this_server.3F.22

Apparently its a licencing situation where UC only counts the physical cores on the host. Which seems bonkers, but there you are.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 11:41

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

JohnnyCanuck posted:

Zoom and enhance!

aye aye captain!

# ? Mar 15, 2016 12:04

Cast_No_Shadow: Jun 8, 2010; The Republic of Luna Equestria is a huge, socially progressive nation, notable for its punitive income tax rates. Its compassionate, cynical population of 714m are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich.

Confirm/deny will the guy that invents working csi style zoom and enhance be a quadjillionaire?

# ? Mar 15, 2016 12:55

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Cast_No_Shadow posted:

Confirm/deny will the guy that invents working csi style zoom and enhance be a quadjillionaire?

I hope that he has enough sense to keep his invention a secret for the sake of IT professionals everywhere.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 12:57

AlphaKretin: Dec 25, 2014; A vase to face encounter.

...Vase to meet you?

...

GARVASE DAY!

People already seem to think you can, though, so having it at hand would only mean you'd be able to do it instead of having to try in vain to convince morons that it's impossible ( :byodood:

YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF DOING WORK!).

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:01

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

AlphaKretin posted:

People already seem to think you can, though, so having it at hand would only mean you'd be able to do it instead of having to try in vain to convince morons that it's impossible ( YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF DOING WORK!).

God only knows what fresh hells they're getting out of CSI: Cyber.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:02

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I'm deaf, so closed captions is permanently on with our television. You'd be amazed how often it rebels or just gets poo poo outright wrong.

How would you know?

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:46

Verizian: Dec 18, 2004; The spiky one.

Anyone who asks for zoom+ENHANCE treatment should just be handed a CYA disclaimer form and a bill for a top of the line mac with ~~Photoshop~~ full adobe cloud 5yrs subscription. Don't care if you already have it installed "It needs the power of the cloud, Apple, and all these plugins to work!".

Then have them watch while you use content aware fill, sit back and try not to laugh as you explain "Yep there's not enough pixels in this image for enhance to work, you need to use a professional camera next time."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9gucaZFD8s

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:48

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Zoom and enhance is easy to make once you invent time the ability to go back to the exact location and time the picture was taken and take a higher quality image. You don't have to worry about sending organic matter so your fine. The power drain is going to make this feature very costly though.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:51

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

flosofl posted:

How would you know?

It's usually pretty obvious

We leave CC on the TV at work and it absolutely loves spazzing out on live programming.

Sometimes you can see the stenographer just give up.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 13:57

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Verizian posted:

Anyone who asks for zoom+ENHANCE treatment should just be handed a CYA disclaimer form and a bill for a top of the line mac with ~~Photoshop~~ full adobe cloud 5yrs subscription. Don't care if you already have it installed "It needs the power of the cloud, Apple, and all these plugins to work!".

Then have them watch while you use content aware fill, sit back and try not to laugh as you explain "Yep there's not enough pixels in this image for enhance to work, you need to use a professional camera next time."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9gucaZFD8s

I'll be impressed when they release the version of content aware fill that can do the reverse operation of that video.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 14:09

DoubleNegative: Jan 27, 2010; The most virtuous child in the entire world.

Renegret posted:

It's usually pretty obvious

We leave CC on the TV at work and it absolutely loves spazzing out on live programming.

Sometimes you can see the stenographer just give up.

CC on a 24 hour news broadcast network is the best for this. The captions try to keep up, but keep suffering from more and more gradual desync. Finally when they're about 45 seconds behind the stenographer goes "gently caress it," types a shitload of dashes, and starts over again. The process repeats about every 5 minutes too.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 14:14

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

DoubleNegative posted:

CC on a 24 hour news broadcast network is the best for this. The captions try to keep up, but keep suffering from more and more gradual desync. Finally when they're about 45 seconds behind the stenographer goes "gently caress it," types a shitload of dashes, and starts over again. The process repeats about every 5 minutes too.

you can tell the experienced ones from the new guys. The experienced Stenographers make a typo and say gently caress IT WHATEVER GOTTA GO FAST THEY KNOW WHAT I MEAN ANYWAY

The new guys try to correct their mistakes, making them fall further behind until it all spirals out of control.

Why yes I get very bored at work how did you know

# ? Mar 15, 2016 15:07

Eikre: May 2, 2009

One day soon, stenography is going to be the sole purview of server-based voice-rec software, but when the Google/Siri/Cortana/whoever servers do inevitably have an outage, network directors everywhere are going to ask IT, "well, you can type really fast 'cause you're good with computers, right?"

# ? Mar 15, 2016 15:37

Yawgmoth: Sep 10, 2003; This post is cursed!

Renegret posted:

It's usually pretty obvious

We leave CC on the TV at work and it absolutely loves spazzing out on live programming.

Sometimes you can see the stenographer just give up.

Some of my friends have CC on just to catch poo poo like this because it's hilarious. Double points when you can tell the station is just using the youtube auto-CC (or something very similar).

# ? Mar 15, 2016 15:42

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I'm deaf, so closed captions is permanently on with our television. You'd be amazed how often it rebels or just gets poo poo outright wrong.

Oh I'm more than aware, the speakers on my old old TV were crappy so I had CC turned on and anything on PBS was a crapshoot. But in the age of digital television you've gotta screw something up pretty badly to have color show up on accident.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 15:59

Zamboni Apocalypse: Dec 29, 2009

Eikre posted:

~~One day soon, stenography is going to be the sole purview of server-based voice-rec software, but when the Google/Siri/Cortana/whoever servers do inevitably have an outage,~~ Nowadays, network directors everywhere ~~are going to~~ ask IT, "well, you can type really fast 'cause you're good with computers, right?"

Weee, electricians working in one of our buildings seem to have edited a network cable. Fancy testing unit sees 66.4 feet of cable, and no server.

That's easily explained by the run being longer.

Wonder if anyone drywalled up that area already - outage was reported yesterday. :ok:

# ? Mar 15, 2016 18:14

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

quote:

Hi - We have a Supermicro server in our rack. Could you please open the server up and try to get a picture of the label on the RAM/Memory stick without taking the server down. Please send me the picture as I need to add 4 sticks of RAM to that server.

lol no

# ? Mar 15, 2016 19:09

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

anthonypants posted:

quote:
Hi - We have a Supermicro server in our rack. Could you please open the server up and try to get a picture of the label on the RAM/Memory stick without taking the server down. Please send me the picture as I need to add 4 sticks of RAM to that server.

lol no

Can't you look that up with WMI?

pixaal fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Mar 15, 2016

# ? Mar 15, 2016 19:17

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Cast_No_Shadow posted:

Confirm/deny will the guy that invents working csi style zoom and enhance be a quadjillionaire?

The guy who invents that will be hunted down by physicists.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 19:35

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

pixaal posted:

Can't you look that up with WMI?

Not if you're the kind of guy who asks tech to service a system live and plugged in.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 20:17

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Potato Salad posted:

Not if you're the kind of guy who asks tech to service a system live and plugged in.

WMIC NODE:/SERVERNAME Memorychip > C:\logs\installedRAM.txt

Part Number is most likely the field he wants but he can go hogwild it will even spit out the headers. Close the ticket with only that command.

e: I assumed it was running Windows, this should do the trick for linux dmidecode -t 17

pixaal fucked around with this message at 20:55 on Mar 15, 2016

# ? Mar 15, 2016 20:28

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

wa27 posted:

You sure you don't want to block out any confidential information in that pic?

I like how they're still running XP - won't upgrade the OS but will spend a few bucks to upgrade Quickbooks and leave a huge potential security risk in place :lol:

# ? Mar 15, 2016 21:18

MiniFoo: Dec 25, 2006; ~~METH~~AMPHETAMINE

Ozz81 posted:

I like how they're still running XP - won't upgrade the OS but will spend a few bucks to upgrade Quickbooks and leave a huge potential security risk in place

Windows Server 2012 R2, actually, with Quickbooks 2015 Enterprise.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 21:50

Judge Schnoopy: Nov 2, 2005; dont even TRY it, pal

MiniFoo posted:

Windows Server 2012 R2, actually, with Quickbooks 2015 Enterprise.

Does the Quickbooks file sit on a separate server than the machine Quickbooks is running? And on the Quickbooks app machine, do you have an event log saying access to the file timed out?

If so I wish you the best of luck as I wrestled with that bullshit for a year with no results.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 21:55

MiniFoo: Dec 25, 2006; ~~METH~~AMPHETAMINE

File's on the D:\ drive of the RDS. Quickbooks crashes while trying to save and close invoices that have just had transactions posted to them or something. Here's one of the crash details that Windows provides:

code:

Problem signature:
  Problem Event Name:		APPCRASH
  Application Name:			qbw32.exe
  Application Version:			25.0.4009.2506
  Application Timestamp:		5665f973
  Fault Module Name:			StackHash_2020
  Fault Module Version:		6.3.9600.18202
  Fault Module Timestamp:		569e72c5
  Exception Code:				c0000374
  Exception Offset:			PCH_59_FROM_ntdll+0x0003C7EC
  OS Version:					6.3.9600.2.0.0.16.7
  Locale ID:					1033
  Additional Information 1:		2020
  Additional Information 2:		202036ec28c4e6f32342c89f4d8a3917
  Additional Information 3:		ecd2
  Additional Information 4:		ecd29a1a7c49354bd97e7bc3e71c91c1

I excluded Quickbooks from DEP but that didn't help at all. The strange thing is that this happens in single- and multi-user mode, and anybody else logged into the file in their own sessions don't have their QBW32.exe process crash.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 22:16

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I'm deaf, so closed captions is permanently on with our television. You'd be amazed how often it rebels or just gets poo poo outright wrong.

Same here! It's hilarious to see some of the poo poo they get wrong.

# ? Mar 15, 2016 22:35

Brut: Aug 21, 2007; Can't post for 15 days!

MiniFoo posted:

File's on the D:\ drive of the RDS. Quickbooks crashes while trying to save and close invoices that have just had transactions posted to them or something. Here's one of the crash details that Windows provides:
code:
Problem signature:
  Problem Event Name:		APPCRASH
  Application Name:			qbw32.exe
  Application Version:			25.0.4009.2506
  Application Timestamp:		5665f973
  Fault Module Name:			StackHash_2020
  Fault Module Version:		6.3.9600.18202
  Fault Module Timestamp:		569e72c5
  Exception Code:				c0000374
  Exception Offset:			PCH_59_FROM_ntdll+0x0003C7EC
  OS Version:					6.3.9600.2.0.0.16.7
  Locale ID:					1033
  Additional Information 1:		2020
  Additional Information 2:		202036ec28c4e6f32342c89f4d8a3917
  Additional Information 3:		ecd2
  Additional Information 4:		ecd29a1a7c49354bd97e7bc3e71c91c1
I excluded Quickbooks from DEP but that didn't help at all. The strange thing is that this happens in single- and multi-user mode, and anybody else logged into the file in their own sessions don't have their QBW32.exe process crash.

Did you know that Quickbooks has like 5 different places in the menu where you can trigger it to update itself, and each of those will grab slightly different versions?

Did you know that a super common solution that Quickbooks support usually tries for basically anything is to delete (rename) the .TLG file associated with the main QB file? They can never explain why that should do anything, but problems magically go away.

Are you saying you can reproduce the action and it reproduces the crash consistently? If so, what if you do the same thing from a different computer? If not, hunt down all the update buttons in the problematic installation, and when forcing them all still doesn't help, do a clean reinstall from the most recent redistributable of the appropriate version you can find, then force all the updates.

From an MSP perspective I hate quickbooks, I've seen it fail in so many different ways, nothing ever makes sense.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 00:27

Sigma: Aug 24, 2003; ...; Grimey Drawer

JohnnyCanuck posted:

Zoom and enhance!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbCWYm7B_B4

# ? Mar 16, 2016 00:56

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

pixaal posted:

WMIC NODE:/SERVERNAME Memorychip > C:\logs\installedRAM.txt

Part Number is most likely the field he wants but he can go hogwild it will even spit out the headers. Close the ticket with only that command.

Supermicro IPMI usually has this info available too. So many ways this nitwit can get info if he just googled it.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 02:22

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

RadicalR posted:

Same here! It's hilarious to see some of the poo poo they get wrong.

I'm hard of hearing, so vaguely the same as you guys - and it's not limited to what they get wrong - but also the things that are omitted. Some HBO shows loving suck in that regards. I'm going to have to :filez:

them as opposed to using my legitimate subscription just to watch silicon valley/veep/girls without words just being skipped altogether. Secondary reason for captions: watching a show with your SO while your kid is asleep on you .

# ? Mar 16, 2016 05:08

Chickenwalker: Apr 21, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Brut posted:

Did you know that Quickbooks has like 5 different places in the menu where you can trigger it to update itself, and each of those will grab slightly different versions?

Did you know that a super common solution that Quickbooks support usually tries for basically anything is to delete (rename) the .TLG file associated with the main QB file? They can never explain why that should do anything, but problems magically go away.

Are you saying you can reproduce the action and it reproduces the crash consistently? If so, what if you do the same thing from a different computer? If not, hunt down all the update buttons in the problematic installation, and when forcing them all still doesn't help, do a clean reinstall from the most recent redistributable of the appropriate version you can find, then force all the updates.

From an MSP perspective I hate quickbooks, I've seen it fail in so many different ways, nothing ever makes sense.

Try supporting pretty much any Avid product.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 07:58

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# ? May 24, 2024 18:09

22 Eargesplitten: Oct 10, 2010

OwlFancier posted:

The guy who invents that will be hunted down by physicists.

You don't even want to know what they'll do to the guy who invented the Blade Runner version.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 08:34

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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