Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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Take the plunge! Okay!: Feb 24, 2007

Doctor Malaver posted:

"One of the 50 safest cities in Massachusetts." That's a dubious accomplishment considering Wikipedia says that Massachusetts has 50 cities.

It has a median income of something like 68k and literally 30 black people living in the entire town. It's probably one of the whitest, most privileged places in America.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 12:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 16:52

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

mcustic posted:

It has a median income of something like 68k and literally 30 black people living in the entire town. It's probably one of the whitest, most privileged places in America.

"We got some black families in town too, but they're not black black, you know. You'll like them! We all do!"

# ? Mar 16, 2016 13:48

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Doctor Malaver posted:

"One of the 50 safest cities in Massachusetts." That's a dubious accomplishment considering Wikipedia says that Massachusetts has 50 cities.

Also one of the 50 most dangerous cities in Massachusetts! :pseudo:

# ? Mar 16, 2016 22:16

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Very wealthy, but also a higher than average risk of being challenged to a rap battle. In conclusion, it is a city of contrasts.

# ? Mar 16, 2016 22:58

caligulamprey: Jan 23, 2007; It never stops.

BONUS PIC

# ? Mar 17, 2016 00:46

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

I love how "fully trained" assumes "won't grow and eventually try to eat you" :lol:

# ? Mar 17, 2016 02:51

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Massachusetts has 55 cities. But I bet the actual quote referred to both cities and towns, of which there are 351.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 02:52

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

caligulamprey posted:

BONUS PIC :

It appears Rambo has many skills.

(Full gallery: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-pet-gator-20160314-story.html)

# ? Mar 17, 2016 03:59

Intoluene: Jul 6, 2011; Activating self-destruct sequence!; Fun Shoe

Knormal posted:

It appears Rambo has many skills.

(Full gallery: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/features/gone-viral/os-florida-woman-pet-gator-20160314-story.html)

Rambo works hard and plays harder.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 04:12

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

Ozz81 posted:

I love how "fully trained" assumes "won't grow and eventually try to eat you"

http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/sacred-crocodile-ponds-of-paga

# ? Mar 17, 2016 05:37

Xythe: Aug 4, 2010; Stop getting mad at video games. No stop insulting his mother what is wrong with you.

Scathach posted:

http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/sacred-crocodile-ponds-of-paga

This is one of the coolest things I've ever heard of. A crocodile "petting zoo" is metal as gently caress.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 06:05

Khazar-khum: Oct 22, 2008; Cat Army
2nd Battalion

Xythe posted:

This is one of the coolest things I've ever heard of. A crocodile "petting zoo" is metal as gently caress.

Now we need shark petting pools.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 07:28

Simply Simon: Nov 6, 2010; 📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

Khazar-khum posted:

Now we need shark petting pools.

They absolutely exist! My girlfriend got to stroke a shark at the Monaco ocean museum and I'm really jealous

.

Not-edit: I have no idea how to phrase this better.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 07:57

Sakurazuka: Jan 24, 2004; NANI?

I though shark skin was so abrasive it'd be like petting sandpaper, or does that vary between species?

# ? Mar 17, 2016 08:07

Bloody Hedgehog: Dec 12, 2003; 💥💥🤯💥💥
Gotta nuke something

Sakurazuka posted:

I though shark skin was so abrasive it'd be like petting sandpaper, or does that vary between species?

It varies, but it's not like it's painful generally. It would only really affect you if a shark whipped past you fast and you were up against it's skin.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 08:16

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

It varies, but it's not like it's painful generally. It would only really affect you if a shark whipped past you fast and you were up against it's skin.

feeling sorry for the street sharks' girlfriends.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 08:24

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Sakurazuka posted:

I though shark skin was so abrasive it'd be like petting sandpaper, or does that vary between species?

It can be quite coarse, but I think Whale Sharks tend to have a bit more softness.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 08:27

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Khazar-khum posted:

Now we need shark petting pools.

Just go dive in pacific reefs. White tip reef sharks are like puppies with more teeth. :3:

Also they're kleptomaniacs and will try to steal anything that dangles from your rig.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 13:22

zedprime: Jun 9, 2007; yospos

Collateral Damage posted:

Just go dive in pacific reefs. White tip reef sharks are like puppies with more teeth.

Also they're kleptomaniacs and will try to steal anything that dangles from your rig.

So are you saying I should or should not wear a banana hammock when diving in a pacific reef?

# ? Mar 17, 2016 13:59

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

Kurtofan posted:

feeling sorry for the street sharks' girlfriends.

Abrasive textured for their pleasure.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 14:09

Gloryhold It!: Sep 22, 2008; Fucking
Adorable

They'd be exfoliated as gently caress though

# ? Mar 17, 2016 16:05

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

# ? Mar 17, 2016 16:55

Antifreeze Head: Jun 6, 2005; It begins; Pillbug

caligulamprey posted:

BONUS PIC :

So good of her to rescue Rambo from a life without her love.

And really, what kind of life would that be anyway?

# ? Mar 17, 2016 17:28

schadenfraud: Nov 19, 2010

South Africa Daily Sun is a goldmine, for their excessive use of exclamation marks if nothing else.

http://www.dailysun.co.za/

# ? Mar 17, 2016 21:53

Wheat Loaf: Feb 13, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

Quite enjoyed today's Sun:

# ? Mar 17, 2016 22:05

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

schadenfraud posted:

Too spoopy for me!

quote:

LAST week Eric was so spooked by a ghostly skeleton that he left his shack to live in an abandoned skorokoro � but it hasn�t helped.

Last week Daily Sun told the story of Eric Dzingwa from Mthatha, who said a skeleton with a golden tooth and wearing navy-blue pyjamas peed in his pee pot, left small piece of poo poo in the pot and wrote SPOOK on his shack before disappearing. According to Eric, the skeleton has struck again.

He said on Monday night at about 11pm it came and took him on hell-ride in the engineless skorokoro without wheels.

This time, when the skeleton arrived, it was wearing boxer shorts.

�Ndilandele njandini,� said the skeleton and told Eric to sit in the passenger seat. The taxi went at 200km/h on a railway line to nowhere for the whole night. In the morning I found myself sitting outside my haunted shack,� said Eric.

�I�m very scared.�

According to a neighbour, the ghost may be that of a woman who was raped and found on the railway line near Payne kasi with multiple stab wounds in 2014.

�The woman was wearing a navy-blue jacket and the skeleton was wearing navy-blue pyjamas. She also had a golden tooth,� he said.

�The dead woman was from Elliotdale and her family never came to fetch her belongings. Even the bed Eric sleeps on belonged to her.�

Chief Dalubuhle Plaatjie of Payne kasi confirmed the gruesome murder of the woman but said he has never met her family.

Mthatha sangoma, gogo Nkanyesi, said the skeleton is a restless ghost and if it is the dead woman, her family must fetch her spirit and take it back to Elliotdale.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 22:06

schadenfraud: Nov 19, 2010

Wheat Loaf posted:

Quite enjoyed today's Sun:

See you, Jimmy

# ? Mar 17, 2016 22:12

flavor.flv: Apr 18, 2008; I got a letter from the government the other day
opened it, read it
it said they was bitches

That drink has a different name overseas.

# ? Mar 17, 2016 23:24

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Mar 17, 2016 23:28

haunted bong: Jun 24, 2007

Say Nothing posted:

Please don't doxx me

# ? Mar 17, 2016 23:34

Germansimp: May 28, 2013

RandomFerret posted:

That drink has a different name overseas.

Works well enough to extuinguish christmas tree fires, regardless of name.

# ? Mar 18, 2016 14:19

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Knormal posted:

It appears Rambo has many skills.

"Can someone help me? I can't reach the keyboard and Dragon stopped working"

# ? Mar 18, 2016 15:04

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Mar 19, 2016 01:04

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

Say Nothing posted:

I don't get it.

# ? Mar 19, 2016 01:07

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

kalstrams posted:

I don't get it.

Somebody pulled up a Photoshopped joke image instead of an actual ad. "So good, you'll suck dick" has not yet become the standard to which actual ad agencies have descended.

# ? Mar 19, 2016 01:10

cinci zoo sniper: Mar 15, 2013

AlbieQuirky posted:

Somebody pulled up a Photoshopped joke image instead of an actual ad. "So good, you'll suck dick" has not yet become the standard to which actual ad agencies have descended.

I didn't even notice the fine print. :v: