|
mpyro posted:goatse donald trump ? Why bother? There's already a gaping rear end in a top hat where his mouth should be.
|
#
?
Mar 31, 2016 23:40
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 10:32 |
|
|
Deteriorata posted:I bet it's even gluten free. Says so at the bottom.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 00:15
|
|
|
Six-Of-Hearts posted:Why bother? There's already a gaping rear end in a top hat where his mouth should be. Not to mention his constituents.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 02:37
|
|
|
veedubfreak posted:That almost seems intentional. Even has the ring. He confirmed it was.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:01
|
|
|
Kwyndig posted:He confirmed it was. Truly the Reverse Flash's most heinous crime.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:03
|
|
|
RareAcumen posted:Truly the Reverse Flash's most
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:12
|
|
|
 
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 03:20
|
|
|
Len posted:I'm lazy but how about a guernica goatse? Kind of underwhelming, unfortunately.  http://i.imgur.com/esN5eey.jpg
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:46
|
|
|
Solice Kirsk posted:A bakery/strip club was something I never would have thought of on my own, but I'll be damned if I don't think it would take off and make me a rich man. I used to live down the block from a topless donut shop. I never went, but by saying this I now wish I had just so I could report on it.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 04:53
|
|
|
Washington state has a bunch of coffee shacks where the baristas wear bikinis (women) or g-strings (men) and reportedly you can tip to see a little extra skin. Of course the fundies and olds are mad because "we don't agree with the lifestyle" and "won't someone think of the children" and the shack strippers are being massive heat scores by flashing their booty within view of major traffic lanes and grade schools.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 05:54
|
|
|
Dillbag posted:Washington state has a bunch of coffee shacks where the baristas wear bikinis (women) or g-strings (men) and reportedly you can tip to see a little extra skin. Of course the fundies and olds are mad because "we don't agree with the lifestyle" and "won't someone think of the children" and the shack strippers are being massive heat scores by flashing their booty within view of major traffic lanes and grade schools. I think you're not allowed to show your unit, but you are allowed to show your Penile Simulator. You can even moisten up your pants to make it pop. It's important to give the guests what they want, even if they want to squeeze your tush a bit, because you don't want them to vote you a Stinker. Bill Stimms was voted a Stinker last Wednesday when a group of sauced old secretaries tried to take a Polaroid of his tush and he said Please ladies please. Only he said it kind of like weary? Like what he meant was Please stop? Next thing you know Mr. Frendt is announcing over the intercom, Please Bill Stimms come into the Spitfire. Inside the Spitfire is where Mr. Frendt tells you you're Grounded, which is like aviator talk for Suspended Without Pay. Bill Stimms didn't even say anything exactly, but it was more sort of a squeak, like perhaps stepping on a small mouse wherein you cover it completely with your shoe and its life is snuffed out entirely in one swift movement. Pretty sad probably. The thing is it's hard to get the Penile Simulator moist, and to keep it moist, so that it looks like the Real Unit. Instead sometimes it's just easier to let the ladies get a peek at the unit but of course if Mr. Frendt catches you then you're Grounded. Anyway,
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 06:18
|
|
|
nocal posted:I think you're not allowed to show your unit, but you are allowed to show your Penile Simulator. You can even moisten up your pants to make it pop. It's important to give the guests what they want, even if they want to squeeze your tush a bit, because you don't want them to vote you a Stinker. Bill Stimms was voted a Stinker last Wednesday when a group of sauced old secretaries tried to take a Polaroid of his tush and he said Please ladies please. Only he said it kind of like weary? Like what he meant was Please stop? Next thing you know Mr. Frendt is announcing over the intercom, Please Bill Stimms come into the Spitfire. Inside the Spitfire is where Mr. Frendt tells you you're Grounded, which is like aviator talk for Suspended Without Pay. Bill Stimms didn't even say anything exactly, but it was more sort of a squeak, like perhaps stepping on a small mouse wherein you cover it completely with your shoe and its life is snuffed out entirely in one swift movement. Pretty sad probably.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 07:20
|
|
|
Penile stimulator chat
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 07:22
|
|
|
Solice Kirsk posted:A bakery/strip club was something I never would have thought of on my own, but I'll be damned if I don't think it would take off and make me a rich man. There's a doughnut shop / strip club in Maine that is really popular and they had the brilliant idea to provide change only in 2 dollar bills so you end up tipping the girls twice as much as you normally would.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 07:22
|
|
|
I personally can only eat a donut in situations where my nipples are erect but it would be rude to fondle them.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 07:24
|
|
|
nocal posted:I think you're not allowed to show your unit, but you are allowed to show your Penile Simulator. You can even moisten up your pants to make it pop. It's important to give the guests what they want, even if they want to squeeze your tush a bit, because you don't want them to vote you a Stinker. Bill Stimms was voted a Stinker last Wednesday when a group of sauced old secretaries tried to take a Polaroid of his tush and he said Please ladies please. Only he said it kind of like weary? Like what he meant was Please stop? Next thing you know Mr. Frendt is announcing over the intercom, Please Bill Stimms come into the Spitfire. Inside the Spitfire is where Mr. Frendt tells you you're Grounded, which is like aviator talk for Suspended Without Pay. Bill Stimms didn't even say anything exactly, but it was more sort of a squeak, like perhaps stepping on a small mouse wherein you cover it completely with your shoe and its life is snuffed out entirely in one swift movement. Pretty sad probably. Too coherent to be a meowbot post.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 07:26
|
|
|
Clinton1011 posted:There's a doughnut shop / strip club in Maine that is really popular and they had the brilliant idea to provide change only in 2 dollar bills so you end up tipping the girls twice as much as you normally would. When I worked for a strip club they used the $2 bill as the lowest denomination. Later, when I worked the midnight shift for a gas station, I would see a few ladies come in around 3 or 4 and pay for their smokes and gas with a stack of 2s. Thems the facts.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 12:01
|
|
|
Just google it. Whenever anyone posts any interesting text, just google it. 90% of the time they just copied it from somewhere.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 12:25
|
|
|
It's from a short story by George Saunders from his book Pastoralia
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 13:05
|
|
|
LawfulWaffle posted:When I worked for a strip club they used the $2 bill as the lowest denomination. Later, when I worked the midnight shift for a gas station, I would see a few ladies come in around 3 or 4 and pay for their smokes and gas with a stack of 2s. Thems the facts. She was holding out a two dollar bill between her fingers but her eyes stayed on my Penile Simulator when she asked, Can I get a peek hon. And the thing is, two bucks is two bucks, and I am not prideful. Like for example yesterday for dinner it was Beanie Weenies mostly and that was because nobody named Gladys had too many mai tais and wanted to trade a two dollar bill for a peek at my Simulator. Only when I see that her eyes don't move from the Simulator I know she is going to want the real thing and I don't want Mr. Frendt to call me into the Spitfire and say Son how could you do this. It's strange but I don't want to disappoint Mr. Frendt, even though I laugh when Jimmy Betis makes fun of how he wears a belt and suspenders. Jimmy Betis will say, Gosh I'm doubly afraid of my pants falling off. All the guys can't help but chuckle, even me. But this two dollars would mean that I can swing by the Squirt n Jam which is the big gas station convenience store and buffet on Rent A Center Avenue. I'm not much of a smoker exactly but Min and Jade say that Parliament Lights really improve the taste of macaroni and tuna. So Gladys is holding the dollar and looking like, Give Me That Unit, in fact kind of wild-eyed now and I'm having second thoughts but I reach out and take it. Next thing you know
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 15:29
|
|
|
I read that in the voice of Eugene from "The Walking Dead". Is that wrong?
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 15:50
|
|
|
Just copy/paste your favorite books in funny pictures thread, no problem.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 16:05
|
|
|
nocal posted:So Gladys is holding the dollar and looking like, Give Me That Unit, in fact kind of wild-eyed now and I'm having second thoughts but I reach out and take it. Next thing you know  I was about to post that image anyway because the dog's dumb expression made me laugh but it fit pretty perfectly there
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 16:16
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 16:24
|
|
|
I'm sad that cornhub.com doesnt actually exist.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 16:42
|
|
|
Did someone seriously just copy an IRL joke into an internet joke? April fools, wow memes woah
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 16:45
|
|
|
Snowglobe of Doom posted:
Doobie's doesn't serve black labs.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 18:01
|
|
|
Boinks posted:Doobie's doesn't serve black labs. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 18:18
|
|
|
Boinks posted:Doobie's doesn't serve black labs. What about Chocolate ones?
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 18:48
|
|
|
VendaGoat posted:What about Chocolate ones? Nope, if there's one thing he hates more its mixing milk with cocoa.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 19:35
|
|
|
VendaGoat posted:What about Chocolate ones? One drop is one drop.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 19:41
|
|
|
Please don't cut your dog's gums out.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 19:42
|
|
|
Boinks posted:Doobie's doesn't serve black labs. Doesn't serve food either 
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 21:44
|
|
|
New Leaf posted:I read that in the voice of Eugene from "The Walking Dead". Is that wrong? Can't be, cause I read it that way too.
|
|
#
?
Apr 1, 2016 23:27
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Apr 2, 2016 01:09
|
|
|
Please don't post the cover of my bdsm erotic Vietnam War novel.
|
|
#
?
Apr 2, 2016 01:51
|
|
|
Looks like someone didn't get the memo that it's much more marketable when you call it canola.
|
|
#
?
Apr 2, 2016 01:53
|
|
|
i think it's the urgency in the instructions that really sell it rape yellow BE CAREFUL!!!
|
|
#
?
Apr 2, 2016 01:56
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 29, 2024 10:32 |
|
|
Thanks for reminding me MASH is off netflix.
|
|
#
?
Apr 2, 2016 02:04
|
|
