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Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Heh, I'll shitpost us WAY into the 3100's by this weekend!

Science has no way of knowing what will happen if we continue to shitpost past 3000. You'll doom us all.


Beet Wagon posted:

Galarox did an incredible job and I'm pretty proud he went with my articles.

Reddit didn't think it was that funny though, shockingly.



Your articles were so good that they made me want to be a better person.

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Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Beet Wagon posted:

Galarox did an incredible job and I'm pretty proud he went with my articles.

Reddit didn't think it was that funny though, shockingly.



I'd actually read that as high praise. Their kind of fun would make watching paint dry look as a loving orgasmathon

Brazilianpeanutwar
Aug 27, 2015

Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Beet Wagon posted:

Galarox did an incredible job and I'm pretty proud he went with my articles.

Reddit didn't think it was that funny though, shockingly.



Yeah that's me, i'm meta trolling.

i'm not

Or am I?

i'm not Or am I?

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Dusty Lens posted:

Science has no way of knowing what will happen if we continue to shitpost past 3000. You'll doom us all.

You know they asked that dude who climbed Everest - not the sherpa, the white dude - why he did it, and he was all (picture his perfect aryan hero's chin to a background of the Last Mountain, defeated) "I did it, because im gay"

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Quavers posted:

Could it be that Ryan Archer purposely plagiarised others' art while working for CIG, because "gently caress Chris Roberts & Star Citizen".

Are you loving kidding, have you seen the pictures of that man. No he's as gross inside as he is on the outside. He's gotta be just as lovely at drawing as he is grooming and dressing himself.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo
The thing about the meme is probably apocryphal though

Dark Off
Aug 14, 2015




D_Smart posted:

I hope you people aren't looking under their names; when you should be looking under the names of all the corporate entities Ortwin has build around this.

Looking up their names (Chris, Ortwin) shouldn't be expected to yield any results.

the beauty of panama files is the fact that it also contains emails between the law firm and its customers
so it could be that Chris and Ortwins name is there, but you would need to contact some journalist involved in the panama files to know more.

edit: heres their website if anyone wants to contact em and ask
https://panamapapers.icij.org/

Dark Off fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Apr 5, 2016

Rainbow Knight
Apr 19, 2006

We die.
We pray.
To live.
We serve

Beet Wagon posted:

Galarox did an incredible job and I'm pretty proud he went with my articles.

Reddit didn't think it was that funny though, shockingly.



"Terminal Fuddy Duddy Downer Forum Reddit Doesn't Like Thing" should have been the title of the paper, clearly.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

I'd actually read that as high praise. Their kind of fun would make watching paint dry look as a loving orgasmathon

I laughed when I read that. Like big surprise, guy who isn't a goon doesn't find a bunch of goon inside jokes funny.


Dusty Lens posted:

Science has no way of knowing what will happen if we continue to shitpost past 3000. You'll doom us all.


Your articles were so good that they made me want to be a better person.

I legitimately don't know what to say to that, but thank you.

Scathach posted:

Are you loving kidding, have you seen the pictures of that man. No he's as gross inside as he is on the outside. He's gotta be just as lovely at drawing as he is grooming and dressing himself.

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?
I see he's wearing an original Ryan Archer shirt.

SpunkyRedKnight
Oct 12, 2000

Scruffpuff posted:

I see he's wearing an original Ryan Archer shirt.

It's almost an archery target.

MedicineHut
Feb 25, 2016

SpunkyRedKnight posted:

It's almost an archery target.

Not 100% sure but I think I saw what you did there.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

Scruffpuff posted:

I see he's wearing an original Ryan Archer shirt.

The Panama files make me want to smoke weed again. Because the word Panama triggers the latent stoner inside of me.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





MedicineHut posted:

Not 100% sure but I think I saw what you did there.

I still don't get it. Someone PM me the secret code please.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo
In a thread full with photos of faces of immense punchability, Ryan Archer has my vote for strongest fist magnet

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat
I quoted the wrong post. That's how bad it triggered me.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo
Hey Ryan if you're short of cash I'll give you $7.50 if I get to punch you in the face

redwalrus
Jul 27, 2013

:stoke:

MedicineHut posted:

Not 100% sure but I think I saw what you did there.

Tijuana Bibliophile
Dec 30, 2008

Scratchmo

Lladre posted:

I quoted the wrong post. That's how bad it triggered me.

Dude you need to chill. Like, do some mindfulness poo poo or w/e

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

:lesnick: C-Bangin' it :lesnick:

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Hey Ryan if you're short of cash I'll give you $7.50 if I get to punch you in the face

He seems to be the type that would prefer bitcoins.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

SpunkyRedKnight posted:

It's almost an archery target.

Of course it is. He invented the sport, so he got to name the equipment.
This is also why cathedrals and castles have arches.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Toops posted:

The thing that really cooks me is that CIG poached like 8 senior CryTech devs. This was the proverbial "doubling down" on CryEngine, but Crobberts made a terminal miscalculation: CryEngine is a wonky, crappy engine compared to UE and Unity, and who do you think are the ones responsible for that?

You don't mix stagnant pond water with stagnant pond water and magically get Evian.

Yes. Remember back when I said that he could hire CryTek and still not be able to make THAT game with THAT engine? So far, I'm still on track with that assessment.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Can you do something like Star Marine with a cancelled over it?

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006



Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Colostomy Bag posted:

He seems to be the type that would prefer bitcoins.

I think I have about $0.03 worth of dogecoins stashed around somewhere. I'd trade those for a punch.

intardnation
Feb 18, 2016

I'm going to space!

:gary: :yarg:

awesome

Scruffpuff
Dec 23, 2015

Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

D_Smart posted:

Yes. Remember back when I said that he could hire CryTek and still not be able to make THAT game with THAT engine? So far, I'm still on track with that assessment.

Derek, quick question - over the course of this debacle, there's been one thing you've been consistently unclear on: whether or not any of the events related to Star Citizen have been things you've already thought of, talked about, or perhaps blogged about in the past. I'd be interested in listening if you decide to change it up a bit and let us know if you predicted any of these things before any of them came to pass. Not asking you to leave your comfort zone if you don't want to, but I think it would be educational for some of us to hear about it, if true.

SerCypher
May 10, 2006

Gay baby jail...? What the hell?

I really don't like the sound of that...
Fun Shoe

D_Smart posted:

Yes. Remember back when I said that he could hire CryTek and still not be able to make THAT game with THAT engine? So far, I'm still on track with that assessment.

To be fair, a competent team can stretch that engine, and it has been used for MMO's before. Aion has no spaceships, but it is a persistent world able to render hundreds of players in the same place.


I think they could have actually built something close to what they wanted if they'd had had proper management. However they're completely incompetent so in the end it doesn't matter what engine they use.

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

Sperglord posted:

After Derek Smart's blog post and the Escapist article, how did CIG respond internally?

We're stuck back in the classic problem of assessing leakers, you sound authentic and everything you say checks with past expectations. But to ensure you're real, we'd have to know who you were, something you obviously can't reveal. We will see what pans out in the future, but thanks for the (plausible) insight into CIG worker culture.

I have a way of vetting "leavers". If he's up to it, we can do it over PM. He won't have to say who he is or anything. I just have to know what studio he was at (not even when he left) - and will ask him a single question (that's not public) that only someone who has ever worked on this game, would know.

a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

he is the greatest troll ever imo

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





D_Smart posted:

I have a way of vetting "leavers". If he's up to it, we can do it over PM. He won't have to say who he is or anything. I just have to know what studio he was at (not even when he left) - and will ask him a single question (that's not public) that only someone who has ever worked on this game, would know.

Sounds pretty complex.

My method is to ask them how many a's there are in "paaaaaarp!"












but don't show them the "paaaaaarp!" bit, obviously. Because then they'd know.

Rainbow Knight
Apr 19, 2006

We die.
We pray.
To live.
We serve

Scruffpuff posted:

Derek, quick question - over the course of this debacle, there's been one thing you've been consistently unclear on: whether or not any of the events related to Star Citizen have been things you've already thought of, talked about, or perhaps blogged about in the past. I'd be interested in listening if you decide to change it up a bit and let us know if you predicted any of these things before any of them came to pass. Not asking you to leave your comfort zone if you don't want to, but I think it would be educational for some of us to hear about it, if true.

what have you done

Nicholas
Mar 7, 2001

Were those not fine days, when we drank of clear honey, and spoke in calm tones of our love for the stuff?

new AV. thx

redwalrus
Jul 27, 2013

:stoke:

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Can someone post more airplane cat eared cats? I found one.



paaarp

D_Smart
May 11, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
College Slice

G0RF posted:

But they will see their $10000 again-- as the movers roll the depreciated espresso machine up the front drive of the Roberts estate post bankruptcy... Along with six figures worth of Restoration Hardware furnishings and Heaven knows what else...

Let's meet in the middle here.

We paint in broad rear end brush strokes here but the megawhales are, despite their shared delusions and sunk cost fallacies, not a homodox group. Some are going to cling desperately to old narratives, however threadbare they finally prove, some will rage against the fleecers, some against Derek and the goons/trolls/haters... Some will want refunds, others justice in court, some may want payback. Some might even write it off as a costly learning experience and quelle horrreur!, experience personal growth.

I still contend, if a failure event transpires, the primary narrative that settles out of all this is Chris Roberts doomed his own project. Yet again. The coroner reports written in dozens of gaming journals, in the business press, and elsewhere are going to reach an 85% consensus on causes-- and the authors of nearly all of them will have the last name Roberts (even if one has a stage name to avoid the appearance of nepotism and leave a little buffer just in case of disasters like this.)

Chris Roberts prodigious public record on the matter has constructed for him an inescapable prison. We are talking hundreds of hours of material to comb through-- to say nothing of letters from the chairman. It will be very, very hard to cling to a counter narrative Croberts' words are cease serving the interest of the defense and instead serve the prosecution.

Yes, a few will cling to the "at least they tried" defense, and a subset to the "but Derek/Goons/Trolls derailed them!" Frankly, Derek can be counted upon to pound his chest and claim victory so that just might be enough for some.

But seriously, just how shite was Chris' development prowess if the supposedly pathetic, dishonest, terrible game developer Derek Smart could write some long rear end crazy blog posts and utterly destroy a $120,000,000 dream? To believe, in the end, Derek destroyed it like he promised, sheerly via willpower, is to credit him so generously that I can't believe too many would settle on that...

They will.

They have no choice.

Because the alternative would be to accept the fact that, once again, croberts screwed up a good thing.

Which is why made this statement pages ago.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3748466&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=2889#post458227405

quote:

Anyone who thinks that I'm capable of being jealous, doesn't know a drat thing about me. Of course, since that's the standard reaction from people who know what jealousy is about, it makes sense that those people who think this, are incapable of understanding precisely what makes certain people tick. Small minds tend to not wander much from the narrative of one's own misgivings.

I have no plausible reason to be jealous of Chris Roberts.

He hasn't done anything that I can't or haven't done.

He's not a better developer than I am. That would be patently laughable. Especially considering that, unlike the 12-14 years since he stopped actually coding, the dev process and skills have advanced so much that he'd need to go back to take entry level courses just to catch up. Heck, the guy didn't even know what shaders were just a few months back.

He certainly doesn't live a better lifestyle than I do. Granted, I don't have a cook, but everything I have, I worked hard for - and don't live off of backer money. I sell product. I get paid. Rinse. Repeat.

And in all my years, I've never cheated, let alone obtained gamer money through deceptive practices. I worked very hard to stay in the biz while a bunch of my friends are long gone. He begged his way back in.

And I am certainly better off not owning a bunch of autistic man-children over $110M and with no hopes of giving them anything they promised.

If I was jealous, I would never have backed his project from the very beginning.

Don't confuse resentment for jealousy. There is a difference.

I resent him for the train wreck that he has selfishly set in motion, at the detriment of space-combat (my career bread and butter) fans as well as talented engineers who are now going to pay the price of this arrogance and hubris.

I do applaud him for calling me out and coming after me though. Had he not done that, starting from the attempts (they lied) at using PR spin (e.g. the PC Gamer press release they sent out) surrounding my refund, down to the masterpiece clusterfuck that was The Escapist/DSmart diatribe, I won't have paid too much attention to him. He unwittingly set in motion yet another of the biggest gaming industry fiascos of modern times; and with me at the glorious center of it all. Decades from now, when people are talking about the Star Citizen clusterfuck, they will forever have no choice but to mention my name. And that, to me, is the biggest payback in all of this.

Then again, I would still love to see someone get jail time from the collapse of this poo poo-show.

He's hosed.

Lladre
Jun 28, 2011


Soiled Meat

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Dude you need to chill. Like, do some mindfulness poo poo or w/e

You are right. I should read the thread.

redwalrus
Jul 27, 2013

:stoke:

ideate
Aug 20, 2002

D_Smart posted:

I have a way of vetting "leavers". If he's up to it, we can do it over PM. He won't have to say who he is or anything. I just have to know what studio he was at (not even when he left) - and will ask him a single question (that's not public) that only someone who has ever worked on this game, would know.

"We all know that the bathroom was covered in feces, yes. But what was written in the mirror? Did the perpetrator smear with their fingers, or use a poop crayon?"

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moveable shape
Oct 18, 2015

This is adorable

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