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Xaerael posted:You're right. Also, if all these amazing features were so great, why does CIG have such a huge, disproportionate turnover in staff? "Well, I would continue working here if you had a slowly opening replica spaceship door..."
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Apr 15, 2016 11:03
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Trying to make up for having Croberts, Sandi and Ben as bosses with a poorly executed Doom door is hilarious.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:03
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Sunswipe posted:Outfuckingstanding. I've got this glorious image in my head now. Chris is snorting enough cocaine to let Columbia buy the world and shouting about procedurally-generated tortoises. Sandi, carrying a battery powered hair clipper and a magnifying glass, is hunting terrified junior staff members. Disco Lando is playing Elite: Dangerous on his VR headset and wondering how long he can get away with pretending that's important research. Alexis is sending some Star Citizen merchandise back to the manufacturer because it's too high quality and it would be dangerous to get their customers used to anything being well made. Ryan Archer sits in a corner, changing every tenth word in The Great Gatsby prior to sending it to a publisher under his own name. Programmers sit at their desks, sending to CVs to any company that has never heard of CIG. A couple of them dangle from the ceiling by nooses, smiles on their faces. An occasional pistol shot is heard as an artist has their previously accepted work sent back for the twentieth time. Amid all this, still trapped in his seat from the last video recording, Ben Lesnick squints at a pile of old Wing Commander boxes, counting the discs within largely by touch, sometimes tentatively biting one to check whether it's a disc or just another of the novelty cookies his wife makes in a desperate attempt to get him to look at her the way he looks at Chris Roberts.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:05
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boethius posted:I don't really see that with the CIG luxuries. They seem to be status symbols, to show that they are doing well, rather than investments to help increase productivity, put employees at ease, or make their product better. I've also been in a few offices that went in on the status symbol furniture and it was unspoken that it was often impractical and uncomfortable as gently caress. A decent desk with good cable management, a good quality comfortable chair and good air circulation (nothing is worse than a still, stuffy office) is really all you need.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:05
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Moogle posted:Your posts are fun to read, in my limited and largely unnecessary opinion. Thank you friend I think you're a good poster who should post more Crazy_BlackParrot posted:At first I thought you where an rear end. Then I came to love you like the sweet cynical poster you are So much love in this thread I dunno where to bury my blushing face Sincere thanks to all of your for sharing this journey with me, from the bottom of my lack of heart
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Apr 15, 2016 11:17
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Xaerael posted:You're right. Also, if all these amazing features were so great, why does CIG have such a huge, disproportionate turnover in staff? So during Louis XV's reign in France, a few decades before the revolution, the country was balls deep in debt with no ability to tax its nobility. To keep the creditors satisfied, his money guy thought up a system of "useful splendor" - spend ludicrous amounts of cash on frippery to give the impression that the Royalty was flush with cash It worked for a while I guess then they were all killed
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Apr 15, 2016 11:25
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:So during Louis XV's reign in France, a few decades before the revolution, the country was balls deep in debt with no ability to tax its nobility. To keep the creditors satisfied, his money guy thought up a system of "useful splendor" - spend ludicrous amounts of cash on frippery to give the impression that the Royalty was flush with cash Gotta spend money to tax money
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Apr 15, 2016 11:27
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:So during Louis XV's reign in France, a few decades before the revolution, the country was balls deep in debt with no ability to tax its nobility. To keep the creditors satisfied, his money guy thought up a system of "useful splendor" - spend ludicrous amounts of cash on frippery to give the impression that the Royalty was flush with cash Crobbert's business plan.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:27
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Io_ posted:There's a point between comfortable and opulence where the returns diminish rapidly. I'll let the thread decide where CIG land on this spectrum. I worked at a place that refused to buy any coffee except those horrible Folger's things where the coffee is prepackaged inside the filter and produces coffee that is both foul tasted and watery as hell (and reportedly the GM would actually yell at you if you used two of them at once, though I never personally witnessed it). It made me angry every time I had a cup of it. I also worked at a place where my office was in a dirty rear end old trailer until they built a nice new office building, and there's zero doubt that the new building made people more productive (and probably act more professional as well). But as usual CIG is loving it all up. I'd never begrudge someone comfortable/sturdy chairs and nice desks and an office that isn't a crapshack. I can even get on board with the space murals as a way to get people in the mood or make them think about space and poo poo. But the door is just over the top pissing away money if it costs as much as I suspect it did. And the coffee machine isn't just because it's expensive, it's because it's almost certainly actively working to decrease productivity. Speaking of coffee, I'm out of cream and had to use 1%. I feel grief.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:28
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FrankieGoes posted:Speaking of coffee, I'm out of cream and had to use 1%. I feel grief. Disgusting. Drinking cream. Edit - just done some reading, yeah, Americans don't actually drink cream, more like something akin to half and half. I agree with you, 1% (red top in the UK) is useless. Blue top is way too thick, green top is good.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:31
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FrankieGoes posted:I worked at a place that refused to buy any coffee except those horrible Folger's things where the coffee is prepackaged inside the filter and produces coffee that is both foul tasted and watery as hell (and reportedly the GM would actually yell at you if you used two of them at once, though I never personally witnessed it). It made me angry every time I had a cup of it. An old workplace of mine switched from amazing Peet's coffee to some generic OfficeCo brand to save money. So instead of quickly running to the kitchen, grabbing a cup, and then going back to our desks, we all started taking 20 minute breaks to go out and get coffee.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:32
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Gunna take this coffee chat as a sign to brew one up and have with my 12 o clock bong.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:34
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FrankieGoes posted:I worked at a place that refused to buy any coffee except those horrible Folger's things where the coffee is prepackaged inside the filter and produces coffee that is both foul tasted and watery as hell (and reportedly the GM would actually yell at you if you used two of them at once, though I never personally witnessed it). It made me angry every time I had a cup of it. Having an employer that nickel-and-dimes you isn't good for morality. Having an employer that nickel-and-dimes you while simultaneously having an unlimited budget for espresso machines, murals and scifi-themed doors would be much worse I'll wait for the tell-alls before passing judgment of course, I dunno how they treat their employees where it counts
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Apr 15, 2016 11:35
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Kilmers Elbow posted:Star Citizen: Suck my oval office
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Apr 15, 2016 11:36
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X-Ultron posted:Trying to make up for having Croberts, Sandi and Ben as bosses with a poorly executed Doom door is hilarious. None of that is for the employees. Not the door, not the wall art, not the espresso machine, not the couch. It's all for Chris and Sandi so they can maintain the image of wealth and prosperity. In reality it's all a facade, just like how the "room" they use for their community stuff is actually a set. As I said before, the only dream being fulfilled is that of Chris Roberts.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:37
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:I'll wait for the tell-alls before passing judgment of course, I dunno how they treat their employees where it counts Eight Ace has already told 
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Apr 15, 2016 11:38
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Mr.Tophat posted:Disgusting. American dairies can't even all get on board with a standardized system, but red is almost always whole milk in the US. Blue is usually 2%. 1% is pretty much a crap shoot, with pink and green being the most common but I've also seen yellow.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:41
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Totally unrelated but I thought this little gem of a clip may have some potential for someone to use at some point in the thread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS669AzO8bw
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Apr 15, 2016 11:41
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https://zippy.gfycat.com/PastelFamiliarArcticduck.webm I'm the guy behind the camera getting some great training in silent laughter
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Apr 15, 2016 11:43
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:https://zippy.gfycat.com/PastelFamiliarArcticduck.webm I still honestly believe this was the first time since his last onstage humiliation that he tried to play the "game".
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Apr 15, 2016 11:46
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:None of that is for the employees. Not the door, not the wall art, not the espresso machine, not the couch. It's all for Chris and Sandi so they can maintain the image of wealth and prosperity. In reality it's all a facade, just like how the "room" they use for their community stuff is actually a set. This is an excellent point.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:51
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Xaerael posted:I still honestly believe this was the first time since his last onstage humiliation that he tried to play the "game". Yeah I don't think he'll touch it again like ever I wonder what he told Ben after the livestream
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Apr 15, 2016 11:51
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:https://zippy.gfycat.com/PastelFamiliarArcticduck.webm "Uhhm uhh...it's borked" The head of a 110 million dollar crowdfunded game 110milliondollars and he can't play his own game  yeah it's uhh....hmm it's definitely something...
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Apr 15, 2016 11:52
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:None of that is for the employees. Not the door, not the wall art, not the espresso machine, not the couch. It's all for Chris and Sandi so they can maintain the image of wealth and prosperity. In reality it's all a facade, just like how the "room" they use for their community stuff is actually a set. I can see it as stage management to impress potential investors too, or at least part of their justification for it all.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:52
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:https://zippy.gfycat.com/PastelFamiliarArcticduck.webm Genius visionary game developer. Trust him with your $$$$.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:53
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:None of that is for the employees. Not the door, not the wall art, not the espresso machine, not the couch. It's all for Chris and Sandi so they can maintain the image of wealth and prosperity. In reality it's all a facade, just like how the "room" they use for their community stuff is actually a set. It is all about the show and pretense. Hell they are bigger than rockstar and havent launched a game yet.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:54
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I don't think Chris likes games. I'm not even particularly convinced he's a great fan of film in general His dream is being a big shot guy saying big words to the masses' rapt attention and admired stares
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Apr 15, 2016 11:56
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Also when all this is over can all you CIG/ex-CIG posters/lurkers put some thought into why a long arse thread on a dead comedy forum holds so much attraction to you all? I'd like a clear explanation as it seems pretty odd.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:58
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boethius posted:Genius visionary game developer. Trust him with your $$$$. I like how you can see in his eyes he has absolutely no idea at whats happening. Totally blank.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:58
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Brazilianpeanutwar posted:"Uhhm uhh...it's borked" The head of a 110 million dollar crowdfunded game 110milliondollars and he can't play his own game It's the way he paws ineffectually at his joypad and keyboard with a big grin on his face. He looks genuinely mentally disabled and just happy to be there. He's just short of a baseball cap with a spinny rotor on top for the full effect. BUT STILL TRUST THIS MAN WITH OVER 1/10 OF A BILLION DOLLARS!!!11!!1!1
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Apr 15, 2016 11:58
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AP posted:Also when all this is over can all you CIG/ex-CIG posters/lurkers put some thought into why a long arse thread on a dead comedy forum holds so much attraction to you all? It's alpha ...what? that excuse is as relevant here as anywhere else.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:59
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boethius posted:An old workplace of mine switched from amazing Peet's coffee to some generic OfficeCo brand to save money. So instead of quickly running to the kitchen, grabbing a cup, and then going back to our desks, we all started taking 20 minute breaks to go out and get coffee. That's what I would have done, if the place weren't literally 20 miles from the nearest place to get coffee. I brought in my own coffee maker and coffee for a while, which meant I was wasting at least 20 minutes a day because I had to walk to another building and back to get water to fill it. But then I gave up and either didn't drink any or drank the Folger's swill, both of which undoubtedly lowered my productivity. My favorite story about that company, which I will likely still be bitching about on my deathbed, was that they finally agreed to buy me a new high end desktop because I did a lot of fairly serious number crunching that would require me to sit there and stare at the screen for 15-30+ seconds about 100 times every day, plus once or twice a day do something that took 5-15 minutes to process. But the IT manager would not listen to a single word I said about how it needed to be specced out. She literally laughed when I mentioned SSD and said something like "I don't even have one of those!" So I ended up with this ridiculous $4,000 Dell monstrosity that had two (low end) Xeon processors, a 1000 watt PSU, and a 240 GB mechanical HD. Problem was the software that I used was single threaded, and each one of those Xeon cores was like 1.4 GHz so it was about the same as using a 4 year old Celeron or something. I brought in my HTPC from home that was the size of a loaf of bread and cost $700 and showed my boss that it was literally twice as fast as the Dell piece of poo poo.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:59
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Crazy_BlackParrot posted:I like how you can see in his eyes he has absolutely no idea at whats happening. He looks like my uncle trying and failing to log into AOL.
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Apr 15, 2016 11:59
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Xaerael posted:It's the way he paws ineffectually at his joypad and keyboard with a big grin on his face. He looks genuinely mentally disabled and just happy to be there. He's just short of a baseball cap with a spinny rotor on top for the full effect. When you read a novel and it says that somebody froze their smile, that's what they're talking about
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Apr 15, 2016 12:01
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:Having an employer that nickel-and-dimes you isn't good for morality. Having an employer that nickel-and-dimes you while simultaneously having an unlimited budget for espresso machines, murals and scifi-themed doors would be much worse You see shitizens saying that CIG gets away with underpaying because people want to be associated with such a high profile project, so I'm guessing that was something that Crobberts or someone actually said at some point. May not be working that hot as a recruitment technique any more, however. I also think I remember reading that a company 401k eventually got added at some point but only after funding had passed a certain level. So I'm guessing they're not doing super great in the "where it counts" metrics.
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Apr 15, 2016 12:05
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FrankieGoes posted:She literally laughed when I mentioned SSD and said something like "I don't even have one of those!" So I ended up with this ridiculous $4,000 Dell monstrosity that had two (low end) Xeon processors, a 1000 watt PSU, and a 240 GB mechanical HD. "I've got an employee who does some demanding single-core work. ...yeah, yeah, uh no, not - wait! You say that's the best local windows server machine of 2011?! Only a couple left!?11?!! Yeah get me that one, only spec it down as far as it'll go so we can upgrade it later"
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Apr 15, 2016 12:07
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Tijuana Bibliophile posted:https://zippy.gfycat.com/PastelFamiliarArcticduck.webm I really wish they would get him on camera to play his own game again. I think my favorite part was his poo poo talking about the chat interface.
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Apr 15, 2016 12:08
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drat Dirty Ape posted:I really wish they would get him on camera to play his own game again. I think my favorite part was his poo poo talking about the chat interface. They should add a new show: "The Chairman Plays His Own drat Game for 10 Minutes"
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Apr 15, 2016 12:09
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drat Dirty Ape posted:I really wish they would get him on camera to play his own game again. I think my favorite part was his poo poo talking about the chat interface. And that it would be replaced/fixed first thing. Months later: 
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Apr 15, 2016 12:10
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boethius posted:They should add a new show: "The Chairman Plays His Own drat Game for 10 Minutes" The guy saluting him and immediately going into a t-pose was pretty great too.
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Apr 15, 2016 12:11
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