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Don't scratch through the vet's protective gloves and then cry to me like you're the victim. Now I have to decide if you ought to be sedated next time you need an exam. loving hell cat.
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May 18, 2016 20:02
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Please for the love of all things holy stop licking my hands incessantly whenever they are within your reach. That goes double for my face. No one wants to smell your fartbreath you shrimpy little maltypoo. (All said in an excited, happy tone)
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May 21, 2016 06:00
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 Thanks for chewing open that spare bag of food, I don't mind giving up my lunchbox to store it now because that's three bags open at the same time, it's not like Tupperware is a finite resource.
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May 21, 2016 16:00
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Nice, just hang out in a sunbeam and give each other kitty kisses. You guys wouldn't have lasted ten minutes in 'Nam.
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May 21, 2016 16:33
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hogmartin posted:Nice, just hang out in a sunbeam and give each other kitty kisses. this is a bullshit helldump. DOES ANYONE RESPECT THE loving LAW AROUND HERE?
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May 21, 2016 17:47
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 You're going to piss on my floor the moment I leave for work no matter what I do, so stop judging me for taking more than thirty seconds to get ready to take you for a walk, dog.
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May 21, 2016 21:56
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 Busted.
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May 22, 2016 04:36
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Thanks for killing the mouse, Lydia, but maybe next time just do the job and leave it? You basically murdered his face off and now I have to clean up mouse blood. e: changed the embed to a link because frankly it's a pretty nasty picture of a wrecked-up mouse. http://i.imgur.com/K55L7O7.jpg hogmartin fucked around with this message at 19:30 on May 23, 2016 |
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May 22, 2016 11:28
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 Did i say you could sleep in there? drat furball trying to chill with my napkins Bowlcutbarricade fucked around with this message at 22:23 on May 23, 2016 |
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May 23, 2016 22:19
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This ginormous orange rear end in a top hat neglects to cover up his poo poo after using the litter box, leading to frantic scratching in and around the box, except for the area that, you know, actually includes the poo poo. Additional offenses include purposely getting trapped in places from which he can't escape and being a gigantic bullying dickhead to his brother.    
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May 24, 2016 18:57
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Dear Pooka- why do you snore so loud?! That almost sounds painful.  (I know it's horrible and vertical but I couldn't miss that noise  )https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwxZMKNOWmo PS- Oh my god Percival. You eat the same thing as every other cat in the house, you fat lard. they're not fat. How did this happen and why are you sleeping like that.  Freakbox fucked around with this message at 10:56 on May 25, 2016 |
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May 25, 2016 08:47
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Macready why do you bite my arm for no reason? You're purring, we're having a good time, you don't want the petting to stop, you don't want to play... You just really like biting and licking my left arm. It's weird and you should stop.
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May 29, 2016 12:05
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bunnyofdoom posted:Welcome to the wonderful world of owning lion heads. There is a reason mine is known as the poo poo lord. Also because she is pretty lovely sometimes to me I mean, how is it even possible to poo poo more than you eat ALL the time?
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Jun 1, 2016 18:33
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As for you, Tink, why did I bother to rescue you if all you do is snap at me? Fucker. I've been eating ramen noodles for weeks to save the $ to get your nasty rear end teeth fixed and it's snap snap snappity snap from you every time I touch you. Well soon it will be gum gum gummity gum and soft food for you once the rotty, stench-like-hell's nightclub's -toilet teeth are pulled.
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Jun 1, 2016 18:49
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 Squishy's going to have horrible posture in his old age.
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Jun 2, 2016 16:19
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Spooky, you weigh less than two pounds. You fit in both of my freaky tiny hands and in one hand of a proper sized adult human. Why do you need THE ENTIRE loving MIDDLE OF THE KING SIZED MATTRESS TO BE YOUR DOMAIN. We let you up here as a favor because you're sick, you ungrateful twerp, stop nudging me to the edge of the bed add making tiny sad squeaky kitten noises if I move a muscle. Is cuddling better when I am in constant danger of falling? Do you think you're so cute you can get away with it? Do you have severe body dysmorphia and think you are an adult jaguar? Is this some kind of game to you?! I swear I will hide your squeaky mouse you little jerk. Don't test me.
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Jun 9, 2016 00:04
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Tiny Deer posted:Spooky, you weigh less than two pounds. You fit in both of my freaky tiny hands and in one hand of a proper sized adult human. The answer to all those questions is "Yes"
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Jun 9, 2016 18:38
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Priss, I just bragged about you in the cat thread and now you're meowing at me like I'm in another room. We live in a studio apartment, you can see me looking at you. Shut up.
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Jun 17, 2016 11:46
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Suki, Yes, we have to lock up your catfood now. Because we came home and found you'd opened the pantry, knocked over the bag, and were lying on your side scooping kibble into your mouth with your paw, that's why.  No you're not allowed to complain about this new arrangement. Muchly Annoyed, Your Humans
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Jun 17, 2016 19:15
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Suki, I admire the lifestyle.
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Jun 17, 2016 20:25
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I admire his optimism.
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Jun 17, 2016 21:59
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Dear Sheila Thank you for your deep concern about my being sick in bed today. But I wish you would express this concern in other ways besides repeatedly stepping on my head.
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Jun 19, 2016 03:55
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Athos, the collar with the Giant Lace Rose of Shame will remain on you until you stop being a dick to the other cats.
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Jun 19, 2016 04:17
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Suki, He's gonna learn to knock that out within a month (week?). I've had to put baby proof latches on all my cabinets, closets, and cupboards. Cats  If you're interested... http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/20282051/
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Jun 19, 2016 04:27
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Stupid dog! Why can't you even dog correctly. You are supposed to chase feral barn kittens, not protect them and pretend they are your puppies! 
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Jun 21, 2016 17:37
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mcbagpipes posted:Stupid dog! Why can't you even dog correctly. I see nothing wrong with this.
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Jun 21, 2016 20:52
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Thin Privilege posted:I see nothing wrong with this. She has a long history of adopting cats. This is the one she adopted at home.  That being said, maybe I am hell dumping wrong.
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Jun 21, 2016 21:01
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No no, your four-legged killhound clearly needs a tuneup.
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Jun 23, 2016 06:45
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One cat woke me up going AARRROOOOOOOOOOOO Then I went to the other room because I couldn't fall back asleep and 15 min later another cat, in a different room, gave the saddest meow so I thought she wanted petting. Nope. She went straight for the food bowl.
Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 08:42 on Jun 24, 2016 |
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Jun 24, 2016 08:39
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God drat it princess, there are 2 other people in this loving house doing nothing. Why did you wake me up to take you outside.
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Jun 26, 2016 19:23
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This loving moron. 
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Jun 27, 2016 21:03
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Dear Tuna, WHY?
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Jun 28, 2016 00:38
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The Lord of Hats posted:Dear Tuna, Because cat.
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Jun 28, 2016 01:29
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JaneError posted:This loving moron. Where do you live that the ceiling is just exposed concrete and ventilation ducts? I think the only place I've seen that kind of thing residentially is maybe Guam. Oh, and Jurassic Park. Do you live in Jurassic Park?
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Jun 30, 2016 11:21
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hogmartin posted:Where do you live that the ceiling is just exposed concrete and ventilation ducts? I think the only place I've seen that kind of thing residentially is maybe Guam. The cutest smilodon 
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Jun 30, 2016 12:05
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Iron Crowned posted:The cutest smilodon Orange cats are the best cats, I think it's in the bible or something. e: plus it's got that look like it's going to say 'murr' in that "I know I'm being bad and I seem to have gotten into a situation beyond what I can handle, no I have no idea how it happened and I may require assistance" voice. hogmartin fucked around with this message at 12:18 on Jun 30, 2016 |
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Jun 30, 2016 12:14
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hogmartin posted:Where do you live that the ceiling is just exposed concrete and ventilation ducts? I think the only place I've seen that kind of thing residentially is maybe Guam. I wish, though I'm not entirely sure these cats don't have some snake and/or chill dog in their genetic lineage. No, we live in a loft, a former mid-century office that was converted, so it has that industrial "look," exposed ductwork, exposed concrete/wood beams, etc.
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Jun 30, 2016 16:36
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The Lord of Hats posted:Dear Tuna, Cat is functioning normally, no need to helldump.
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Jul 2, 2016 06:27
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So twice in the past month now my mom's elderly Maltese has attempted suicide by meatball. My mom's one of those irritating people who hand feeds her pets whatever she's eating. So of course the dogs learn to steal food off plates. Both incidents involved meatball dishes, and both times the idiot wolfed the thing down without chewing in an attempt to prevent the other dog from taking it away from him. 10-ish pound dog + whole meatball = dog Heimlich. The first time, we even had to snatch the damned thing away so he wouldn't try to swallow it again. He's not a bright dog.
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Jul 3, 2016 01:44
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kazmeyer posted:So twice in the past month now my mom's elderly Maltese has attempted suicide by meatball. if there is either garlic or onion in your meatballs (Which there should be or those are some sad rear end meatballs.) Its not so good for doggies, so technically you are helldumping your mom for attempted dog murder.
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Jul 3, 2016 12:29
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