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gently caress boys?
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Jul 11, 2016 06:05
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:00 |
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MonoAus posted:gently caress boys? No don't
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Jul 11, 2016 06:46
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Swimquote:This Troper has been a member of his school's swim team for three years, and was elected captain of the team for his senior year. I had always been the Gentle Giant of the team: everyone else was rowdy and rambunctious, but I always kept to myself and just aimed for a "lead by example" sort of thing. However, there was one day of practice where a teammate kept complaining and moaning about the sets we were doing. After about an hour of this, I looked him in the eye and said "if you say something negative again, you'll regret it." He didn't heed my warning well enough, and five minutes later, he started complaining again. No sooner had he said "I can't..." before I dashed behind him and dragon suplexed him across two lane lines. He didn't complain much after that. Stage quote:In High School, after cementing her reputation as the 'quiet, booky one' this troper proceeded to enter the Talent Contest, belt out a Death Metal song in full war-gear, and GET THROWN OFF STAGE BY THE TEACHERS for terrifying the audience. Mosin quote:The second was the result of a pet peeve of mine. A relatively high-rank martial arts student, who studies kenpo karate and something that claims to be ninjutsu, was making grandiose claims about being able to disarm anybody with a gun, before they can get a shot off, as long as he is in the same room as them. To truly understand why this moment is awesome, you have to know more about me: I'm a slightly overweight computer nerd that hasn't had any martial arts training since I took a taekwondo class in grade school. Well, this nerd walks over to the self-proclaimed "ninja in training" and says something along the lines of "I bet that, if I had my Mosin, I could beat you without even pulling the trigger." He agreed to enter a sparring match. I picked up a piece of metal vacuum cleaner wand and held it as I would my Mosin-Nagant rifle (with the bayonet extended.) I ended two sparring matches in literally a second by inflicting what would have been fatal wounds, had I been using an actual bayonet. The first landed square in his gut, and the second caught him under the chin. Only by the third match was the "ninja" able to read my body movements well enough to deflect a blow. Remember that my opponent was somebody who practices against spear techniques on a regular basis. Slash quote:This troper's mother has basically lived one long Crowning Moment of Awesome. Currently, she's an accountant, and is easily one of, if not THE best, in Florida, and has literally made and destroyed companies simply by joining and leaving (though she refuses to be a boss due to her desire to just go home and relax when the whole place starts collapsing, as she knows she can get another job instantly). She did a dual-enrollment with UCF and Oxford at the same time she was doing the accounting for Canadian rock band Glass Tiger and dating their guitarist. She followed them on their tours and even got help from Slash himself on a history paper. What really makes her shine, is her criminal busting. This troper's mother has been the victim of a robbery about eight times so far. The robber succeeded once, only because nobody was in the room with her purse at the time. Every other time, she decimated the guy until the cops picked him up. Three particular moments shine.
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Jul 11, 2016 07:39
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I will probably never get over how many people think one of the best moments in their life was hurting another person.
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Jul 11, 2016 08:17
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The stories that just go "let me tell you why my mom/dad is the bestest" have a kind of charming innocence to them.
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Jul 11, 2016 08:53
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Khazar-khum posted:Stage Now taking bets on her being kicked from the stage due to singing out of tune Or having picked the lewdest song to sign at catholic school, whichever
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Jul 11, 2016 09:12
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Fathis Munk posted:The stories that just go "let me tell you why my mom/dad is the bestest" have a kind of charming innocence to them. I always found them kind of sad because they're not writing them to let people know how cool their parents are so much as trying to steal a share of internet Cool Points just by association. Like they didn't have the confidence to make up some "cool" stuff they did, they had to make it up with their mom as the character. Maybe they do it so if they get called on some obvious bullshit they can fall back on the "hey, I'm just telling you what my mom told me, I'd have to ask her" defense. e: also that "death metal" girl definitely didn't get pulled for "terrifying" the audience with her hardcore war outfit or whatever, it was because nobody enjoys listening to someone screaming/roaring into cheap highschool auditorium audio equipment, whether they were good at singing or not (most certainly not).
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Jul 11, 2016 09:18
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Admittedly, the longstanding tradition is for people to brag about how their dad can beat the crap out of everyone, so it's an interesting twist to be bragging about how your mom can beat the crap out of everyone
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Jul 11, 2016 09:24
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Trope subverted! 
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Jul 11, 2016 09:56
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Murphy Brownback posted:e: also that "death metal" girl definitely didn't get pulled for "terrifying" the audience with her hardcore war outfit or whatever, it was because nobody enjoys listening to someone screaming/roaring into cheap highschool auditorium audio equipment, whether they were good at singing or not (most certainly not). Personally, I envisioned her being picked up bodily by several teachers and physically flung far off the stage.
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Jul 11, 2016 10:30
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Khazar-khum posted:This troper's mother has basically lived one long Crowning Moment of Awesome. Currently, she's an accountant, and is easily one of, if not THE best, in Florida, and has literally made and destroyed companies simply by joining and leaving (though she refuses to be a boss due to her desire to just go home and relax when the whole place starts collapsing, as she knows she can get another job instantly). She did a dual-enrollment with UCF and Oxford at the same time she was doing the accounting for Canadian rock band Glass Tiger and dating their guitarist. She followed them on their tours and even got help from Slash himself on a history paper. This troper's mother has been the accountant for several businesses that failed. Things start getting rough and she refuses to put in overtime, just comes home and turns her phone off. Dad got really angry once when she turned down a promotion and he ended up leaving. For a while she was dating a guitarist. We moved around a lot. 
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Jul 11, 2016 11:39
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Someone Awful! posted:
I looked this post up because the Tumblr URL was in it and she edited the post to read: quote:I was just at the beach, walking around and looking for water type pokemon when this guy came up to me and asked if I needed help because I looked lost. He had this poo poo eating grin on his face and I could see the group of dudes a few feet away from him. I guess she had to call him "basic" to really make it sting.
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Jul 11, 2016 13:50
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Khazar-khum posted:Slash History lessons from high school dropout Slash.
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Jul 11, 2016 14:51
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Jonas Albrecht posted:Inconsistencies are the best part of STDH stories. Followed closely by the frantic doubling down if someone calls them out on it
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Jul 11, 2016 16:27
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MonoAus posted:gently caress boys? She came here to catch Pokemon and gently caress boys...
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Jul 11, 2016 17:57
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MonoAus posted:gently caress boys? Not a joke answer: "gently caress boys" are those teenage and twenty-something guys who behave in really similar, awful ways toward women. Like the ones who respond to questions of what to do with a "send nudes  " text, or when a girl says they're going to take a shower they say "without me? ". They just say really dumb, sometimes awful, always perverted stuff all the time to try and gets nudes and/or sex and then whine about how a girl is a bitch or "not that hot" or, ironically, call them a dumb slut when they get told to gently caress off instead of being sent nudes.I think it started as black American vernacular and disseminated through the internet.
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Jul 11, 2016 18:54
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Run the Jewels lyrics definitely helped.
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Jul 11, 2016 20:53
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Today I realized that a given Pokemon STDH can have 150+ possible variations. 
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Jul 11, 2016 21:04
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In another thread, people (myself included) were sincerely wishing that Pokemon Go really did have unique Pokemon that people could steal and were located in really specific places like people's backyards, just for the chaos it would cause.
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Jul 11, 2016 21:08
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There was talk a few pages ago of the creation of false memories and these stories are great examples of it. Most of them are beat for beat retellings of wild speculative "wouldn't it be funny if...?" stories made up before Go was released - the innocuous person nicking your rare Poke and being a Team Rocket member, scary person helping you out and you bond over Japanese cartoons, dropping sick Pokéburns on assholes and catching the rare Mon you've been after for hours. Even though it's observably not how that works in the actual game now. But it's got enough real elements and the original stories have been circulating for long enough that they fuse together and people are convinced they actually happened. I wonder how many of these people totally did go to school with a La-a or an Abcde?
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Jul 11, 2016 23:31
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:There was talk a few pages ago of the creation of false memories and these stories are great examples of it. Most of them are beat for beat retellings of wild speculative "wouldn't it be funny if...?" stories made up before Go was released - the innocuous person nicking your rare Poke and being a Team Rocket member, scary person helping you out and you bond over Japanese cartoons, dropping sick Pokéburns on assholes and catching the rare Mon you've been after for hours. Even though it's observably not how that works in the actual game now. But it's got enough real elements and the original stories have been circulating for long enough that they fuse together and people are convinced they actually happened. My buddy Orangejello is pretty knowledgeable about stuff like this. With him, his brothers Redjello and Greenjello, and his sister Vagina working on it, we'll have an answer in no time.
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Jul 12, 2016 00:23
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You can get a pikachu as a starter, old man!
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Jul 12, 2016 01:10
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:My buddy Orangejello is pretty knowledgeable about stuff like this. With him, his brothers Redjello and Greenjello, and his sister Vagina working on it, we'll have an answer in no time. I get all my Pokemon tips from Female
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Jul 12, 2016 14:57
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Belated thanks for the Eid well wishes! Have some dating STDH in return:quote:Will and I were out to dinner on a first date. It wasn't clear to me from our pre-date conversations, but he had a chip on his shoulder against the government. To sum up his views, every president works for a shadow organization of ultra-powerful businessmen, the government was behind 9/11, and currency should not be backed by anything other than gold and silver.
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Jul 12, 2016 18:09
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ibntumart posted:Belated thanks for the Eid well wishes! Have some dating STDH in return: There's an artist by the name of Boggs who draws his own money. Somehow, I expect that the villain of this story is not even remotely in the same league as the failures Boggs erases.
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Jul 12, 2016 22:52
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Froquote:Pyro Skittle had her crowning moment recently. There be a racist black jerkass at her school. She be one of the few who dealt with him in a forced manner because she is good friends with his girlfriend. How he even has a girlfriend Pyro(S) will never know. At this time it must be mentioned that Pyro(S) is the girl that makes friends with everyone, including ladybugs, (No really- they've assaulted me with their red-and-black lovin' almost monthly since last June,) can make friends with the most conservative Muslim girls that actually wear the veil and refuse to talk to non-Muslims, and has an ability to diffuse serious situations within two sentences and a tip of her hat. He said a comment that broke the straw that broke the camel's back after she warned him about her lack of patience when dealing with him for FOUR YEARS with continuous racist, hypocritical, and sexist comments virtually every time she dealt with him. He then called her fat. She got very quiet for a moment before shouting out loud, "Get Dangerous, Bitch!" kicking him in the balls- with skateboarding shoes that feel like iron boxes filled with cotton, no less, grabbing his fro and shoving his nose into her knee, waiting for him to try and stand up, and punching him hard enough in the kidney for him to shriek when he fell again. He couldn't get up. He now has a broken nose and *apparently* a very large and dark bruise on his groin, since he still talks in soprano after four days. Her English teacher told her that it was the most epic thing she had ever seen, and she used to teach in the low-income public school area. She wrote me up anyway, but only put in the cockkick because she'd gotten fed up with the jerkass, too. She now has no cell phone or TV until summer, and no regrets whatsoever. Keys quote:This troper once faced a 12-year old bully in elementary school when the troper himself was 9. The bully did a lot of things, some of which require no mention here, but one thing that stood out particularly was that he stole my house keys from me that i had gotten only a couple of days prior from my parents as a sign of trust. He told the troper that he had thrown away the keys, and that the garbage trucks had already taken the trash away, along with the keys. What followed was major pushing on this tropers berserk button. He flew into an unstoppable rage and wtfkpwn'd the smug bastard with a single, well aimed Falcon Punch right in the face. Before i had time to KO him with another punch, teachers broke us apart. With a major nosebleed, he reached for his pockets and produced my house keys, handing them to me while saying "I'm sorry." After that, we went on to become good friends, and this troper - who had been bullied for most of his early childhood - earned everlasting respect and confidence that has survived to this day. Girl quote:This troper had a small one during a physical dispute in 8th grade. The class was going to receive their report cards, but the teacher refused to hand them out until the class settled down (they were always rowdy). This troper got annoyed by the delay and attempted to hush some people. One of the girls got in this troper's face and before you know it, she scratches at this troper locks her arm around this troper's neck and arms, trying to choke me. Without even thinking, this troper sunk his (that's right, Samus Is A Girl I am a boy) teeth into girl's arm. Some of the kids the day after praised me and others teased me asking how the girl tasted. To this day, all the people he told this story to have never put him down for physically defending himself against a girl. Gurren quote:This troper (henceforth referred to in first person) had a rather amazing one. On his way home from school, walking through a forest, I was beset by a schoolmate who had voiced his dislike of me on several occasions. He was also entertaining thoughts of putting the hurt on me and had no intention of letting me get away. So down to a brawl it was. Now, I'm 5'9", skinny and with all the muscle of a 12-year old girl. He's over 6' and has a good 30lbs of muscle on me. I could already see my buttocks on a silver platter. Surely enough, things went pretty bad for me. While he took every chance to taunt me, I was quickly running out of breath, energy, will and strength. And then he threatened my friends. This followed: Sideswiped quote:A friend of mine also got one of her own, on what we now call the Nightmare Trip home from Hampton Beach. She, my siblings, another friend, and I were in her car having spent almost seven hours on what should have been a four hour drive home, having got lost several times. We're all pissed off and cranky, and are sitting at a red light. Out of nowhere, practically, some guy in a pick-up sideswipes us, goes into the next lane, and tells her to pull over. She does so, and the guy starts ranting about how she screwed up his new paint-job. She, however, starts chewing him out for sideswiping her when there were children in the car (all of my siblings were under sixteen, one still is by a significant amount). He completely flips out on her, practically telling her that she shouldn't be on the road. Now normally, this friend has a very short temper and will go from happy-go-lucky to ranting-and-raving bitchy on a dime; so it seemed likely, given our conditions, that she'd go ballistic on him. This time, however, she remained calm, albeit threatening, and continued her chewing him out for what he did. Crowning Moment for her, as is, for sounding so intimidating in the face of a guy who could probably have caused significant harm to her. The guy eventually got fed up and called the cops on us. While we're waiting for them, he pulls out what we perceive to be a cigarette and begins to smoke. Once the policeman gets there, both sides explain their side of the situation. Since the guy that sideswiped was a lot older than my friend was, and she was still seventeen, it was likely that the officer would take his side of the story. However, he smells something funny on the guy, and soon discovers a load of marijuana in the guy's truck. The guy had been smoking pot. Just after he called the cops, and possibly before he hit us. The officer took our side of the situation as a result, and the fact that our side-swiper had been high AND got his rear end handed to him verbally by a teenager made it all the more amazing.
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Jul 12, 2016 23:04
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:My buddy Orangejello is pretty knowledgeable about stuff like this. With him, his brothers Redjello and Greenjello, and his sister Vagina working on it, we'll have an answer in no time. Man the original joke was Oranjello and Lemonjello it's fruit flavors not colors.
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Jul 13, 2016 00:37
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My brother's ghost is now a Pikachu! http://imgur.com/gallery/nrXqeqc  "This person found Pikachu on his brother's grave. Twitter text translates (roughly) to: "My brother loved Pikachu. He had a Pikachu Tomb (Rhea is a Pikachu in Pokemon GO)"
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Jul 13, 2016 01:24
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CannedMacabre posted:My brother's ghost is now a Pikachu! quote:"A pikachu was at the gravesite of my (his?) little brother who loved Pikachu" I had to reread this so many times before I got that the person speaking was female and the target was male. I don't know why but the beginning sentences just threw me off.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:32
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 I love this kid; he's secretly my favorite student. It's like pulling teeth to get him to say anything during class discussion, but he'll come up to me after class and we'll talk about video games and random stuff and just shoot the breeze. Definitely an introvert like me, but he loves Fallout and Star Wars and always chuckles at the geek culture references I make during my lessons. He's an awesome kid. I could tell he was getting nervous about the final presentation coming up this week, but to everyone's surprise, he volunteered to go first, waltzed up to the podium, and jumped right into his speech. He was literally shaking and his voice cracked a few times, but he would just make fun of himself and play it off like he didn't care. As if the self-deprecating humor weren't enough, his PowerPoint was chock full of memes! We all roared with laughter at all the doges (such speech, very presentation, wow), success kids, and Spongebob references. He even threw in a nod to Pokemon Go at the end! Needless to say, his presentation was met with thunderous applause. Fantastic job, Jesse! You da real MVP (Most Valuable Presenter). **FP Edit: Woo-hoo! Send me your corniest puns!
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Jul 13, 2016 02:35
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Yeah as a teacher id def want my students making presentations that are chock full of memes the real sth: No one ever liked me when I was a kid so now I succeed vicariously through fake younger versions of myself in stdhs I write and post on imgur
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Jul 13, 2016 02:47
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That dude wants to gently caress Jesse.
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Jul 13, 2016 03:29
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Khazar-khum posted:Fro What the hell happened to these people where they think beating someone up or berating someone is something to be proud of?
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Jul 13, 2016 05:51
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constantIllusion posted:What the hell happened to these people where they think beating someone up or berating someone is something to be proud of? That's probably what most of their life has consisted of, so they think life is about being either the one who can hit the hardest or who can berate the best.
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Jul 13, 2016 06:32
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sweeperbravo posted:Yeah as a teacher id def want my students making presentations that are chock full of memes It's a teacher who themselves posts memes on imgur, though. People like that really exist. Memes make me feel at least 8 years younger.
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Jul 13, 2016 10:10
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sweeperbravo posted:Yeah as a teacher id def want my students making presentations that are chock full of memes I sat through a presentation one time in comp Sci class, packed with such gems as do u liek mudkips about 2-3 years after that stopped being a thing. Hideously awkward, no one laughed. No one ever will.
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Jul 13, 2016 11:52
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Paladinus posted:It's a teacher who themselves posts memes on imgur, though. People like that really exist. This is true. And I guess if any part of this stdh is true, at least that weirdass kid has a teacher that gets him. Xen Tricks posted:I sat through a presentation one time in comp Sci class, packed with such gems as do u liek mudkips about 2-3 years after that stopped being a thing. Hideously awkward, no one laughed. No one ever will. That's just unpleasant. And you wonder if the presenter is thinking to themself "Hmph, jocks, they just don't get my sense of humor" when it's like most of us are nerds as well, and we "get" the jokes we just do not wish to be presented with them
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Jul 13, 2016 13:50
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I feel like the meme presentation should have ended with the teacher seeing the kid get dragged into an empty room by the head cheerleader
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Jul 13, 2016 13:53
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constantIllusion posted:What the hell happened to these people where they think beating someone up or berating someone is something to be proud of? They consume a lot of media in which problems are solved primarily through combat, and like most Tropers they can't separate media from reality.
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Jul 13, 2016 13:55
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Some people really don't have much going on in their lives outside of sleep, work, eating, and the pop culture they consume and with which they identify. And when they're occasionally in a group of people with everyone is telling stories or talking about what they did over the weekend or the upcoming ski trip, there's really nothing for them to say. And they learned a long time ago that "I beat Assassin's Creed III on Hardcore difficulty!" is not really the conversation people want to have at the water cooler. So they get frustrated and uncomfortable. Some of them will actually pilfer stories from others, as we saw a few pages ago. Others will make something up entirely without ever pausing to consider the asininity of how it sounds out loud. And still others will take a cue from movies and television where the good guy beats up the bad guy and everyone claps, without any of the aftermath like getting arrested for assault. Imagine you have no life experiences worth mentioning in a casual conversation. Now imagine the incredible urge to take part anyway, regardless of how loving stupid the contribution is.
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Jul 13, 2016 14:26
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