you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .ppt

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .ppt

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Ex-Priest Tobin: May 25, 2014; by Reene

Trojan.exe posted:

goon story

it's a bit strange that you would mourn the loss of a friendship group which accepts this dude as an integral member

# ? Aug 8, 2016 10:03

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 12:33

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

KomodoWagon posted:

Lol for real, just carry a gun jfc

# ? Aug 8, 2016 10:15

Nude Bog Lurker: Jan 2, 2007; Fun Shoe

mind the walrus posted:

Aside from like, Dante what famous accounts of ye olde nice guys are there?

Catullus:

quote:

Aurelius & Furius, true comrades,
whether Catullus penetrates to where in
outermost India booms the eastern ocean�s
wonderful thunder;

whether he stops with Arabs or Hyrcani,
Parthian bowmen or nomadic Sagae;
or goes to Egypt, which the Nile so richly
dyes, overflowing;

even if he should scale the lofty Alps, or
summon to mind the mightiness of Caesar
viewing the Gallic Rhine, the dreadful Britons
at the world�s far end--

you�re both prepared to share in my adventures,
and any others which the gods may send me.
Back to my girl then, carry her this bitter
message, these spare words:

May she have joy & profit from her cocksmen,
go down embracing hundreds all together,
never with love, but without interruption
wringing their balls dry;

nor look to my affection as she used to,
for she has left it broken, like a flower
at the edge of a field after the plowshare
brushes it, passing.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 10:21

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

I'm going to need the Latin word for "cocksmen." Google Translate isn't being helpful.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 10:44

Command Ant: Aug 9, 2010; I can make you
worth your weight
in gold!

Trojan.exe posted:

At some point after that, me and Mr. Nice Goon had some conversation via text, and the only reason why that's important is because I wouldn't have known how this word was spelled if he had said it out loud. He said I was "just being tsundere." Tsundere, upon looking it up and according to Google is a Japanese term for a character development process that describes a person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing a warmer side over time. Umm, okay. So he thought my "no" and disinterest was just me being tsundere. It was also around this time that he revealed that I looked and acted exactly like an anime character that he was really into. Oh and this character was tsundere

What character was it?

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:00

Yorkshire Pudding: Nov 24, 2006

Command Ant posted:

What character was it?

Let's not do this.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 11:42

PallasAthene: Dec 6, 2010; Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?

Sentient Data posted:

To put it simply, people that were raised by anime and 80s movies were taught that "no" just means "not yet"

Towards the end of high school, some guy who was in my social circle and knew I was into martial arts invited me to come over to his house and see this "really cool Japanese show that I know you'll love!" When I got there, we made pleasantries, he was super hyped to be hanging out, and then we sat on the couch and he put on a grainy homemade subtitled version of Love Hina, sprayed some Binaca into his mouth and then tried to make out with me. I say make out because he didn't so much try to kiss me as launch himself onto me and force his tongue into my mouth. I pushed him off and asked him what the hell he was thinking and he immediately burst into tears and started trying to explain, "I'MSORRYI'MSORRYI'MSORRY, I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! WHY WOULD YOU COME HERE IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME???? YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAT DOWN ON THE COUCH WITH ME! MY DAD SAID I HAD TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE WITH GIRLS OR I'D NEVER GET A GIRLFRIEND! PLEASE DON'T TELL ANYONE! THEY'LL NEVER STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"

The funny thing about it (looking back now) was that his rant was pretty much exactly like one of the millions of shouting episodes the main character on that anime does. The only way it could have been closer would be if he'd had a bloody nose at the same time he was crying. I told him I would't tell anyone about what he tried or the sobbing afterwards, and he dried off his eyes and apologized and I said it was just a misunderstanding, and I was going to go, but there were no hard feelings, then he stood up and tried to kiss me again. I kneed him in the stomach or groin and he fell down, and this time I just ran though the door and out to my car, and he followed me yelling "I'm SORRY! I thought you were starting to like me! Just be my girlfriend, OKAY! Everyone at school thinks your a lesbian and you have threesomes with your brother and his girlfriend [throughout high school I used to hang out with my twin brother and his girlfriend, who lived across the street from us] but if you go out with me I'll tell them that's not true! Please! Pleeeeeeaaaaaase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But by then I was in backing out of his driveway while he stood there crying and yelled "Come back!!!!"

I never felt in danger though, just really grossed out. It was awkward at school for a few weeks since we had a bunch of classes together, but then we got a new girl who was Japanese, and he stopped trying to talk to me.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 12:42

CubanMissile: Apr 22, 2003; Of Hulks and Spider-Men

Dudes really are scary though. Today I got a table tent thrown at my head by a probable rapist.

I was bartending and one of the servers had just gotten off and was sitting at the bar chatting with one of the customers. I gave the girl two shots and a beer and she was instantly on the floor. I imagine she had either been secretly drinking on shift, popping pills, or got roofied because she was no longer able to keep her head up and was talking nonsense.

The dude she was talking to keep asking to drive her home and eventually she was like "ooooookay". At this point I stepped in and told the guy another server was gonna take her home so don't worry about it. He got really defensive and just kept repeating "Why? I'm just being nice and doing her a favor!" and kept insisting he take her. Then I had to tell him "Listen man, there's no way in hell you're taking this girl anywhere. You're being way too insistent on taking someone you don't know home when she can barely talk. Leave or I call the cops." He pitched a fit about how he was just trying to be helpful and then threw a table tent at me on his way out the door.

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:15

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

CubanMissile posted:

Dudes really are scary though. Today I got a table tent thrown at my head by a probable rapist.

I was bartending and one of the servers had just gotten off and was sitting at the bar chatting with one of the customers. I gave the girl two shots and a beer and she was instantly on the floor. I imagine she had either been secretly drinking on shift, popping pills, or got roofied because she was no longer able to keep her head up and was talking nonsense.

The dude she was talking to keep asking to drive her home and eventually she was like "ooooookay". At this point I stepped in and told the guy another server was gonna take her home so don't worry about it. He got really defensive and just kept repeating "Why? I'm just being nice and doing her a favor!" and kept insisting he take her. Then I had to tell him "Listen man, there's no way in hell you're taking this girl anywhere. You're being way too insistent on taking someone you don't know home when she can barely talk. Leave or I call the cops." He pitched a fit about how he was just trying to be helpful and then threw a table tent at me on his way out the door.

Yup, you prevented a rape and possible long-term kidnapping/abduction or straight up murder. Pat yourself on the back goonette

# ? Aug 8, 2016 13:22

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

PallasAthene posted:

It was awkward at school for a few weeks since we had a bunch of classes together, but then we got a new girl who was Japanese, and he stopped trying to talk to me.

Vintage weeaboo.