FactsAreUseless posted:

The Buddha, while making GBS threads himself: "Ah, I am an adult, but I am a baby as well. I have abandoned desire, I have transcended the complications I learned in my youth and adulthood. Please spank me, mistress. Please hurt my jiggly Buddha bottom." *gradually transforms into a tree as he moves beyond the need for food and breath*

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

"How old is your adult baby?"
"420 months."
everyone giggles except the adult baby, who doesn't get it.

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Mistress never realized how difficult it would be to adult baby-proof the house

google THIS posted:

mistress: that's no way to treat me! I carried you for nine months!

adult baby: hey, you could have set me down at any time

google THIS posted:

mistress has more or less given up the whole dom persona and now goes to Pilates and demands to speak to the manager a lot and is constantly uploading pictures of her adult baby to facebook and needless to say her adult baby isn't vaccinated

google THIS posted:

Chief Childe hesitated as he approached the remote cabin. This was going to open old boo-boos. But what choice did he have?

He found his target out back, smacking a pile of already split firewood with a toy axe. "A. B.," Childe said. "It's been a long time."

The stooped figure paused, his back still to the police chief. "What do you want?" he asked. There was an edge to his voice, and Childe knew he had to talk fast or a tantrum was likely to follow.

"I need you to help me catch the Daycare Killer."

A. B. laughed, finally turning to face his old boss. His matted beard was damp. Could it be...milk? "You need my help? Why me?"

"None of the other officers can do what you do," said Childe. "I need a man on the inside. No, more than that, I need a baby. I need Adult Baby."

"You kicked me off the force," said A. B. "Made me turn in my name tag. Told me I was a loose squirtgun."

"And now I'm telling you you're the only man for the job...And the only baby."

"I don't do that anymore, chief."

"Bullshit," Childe snapped.

"Poopy," A. B. corrected.

"Fine then, poopy. You think I can't hear that diaper crinkling under those jeans? Think I can't smell the stink of formula around this hovel of yours? No, you're still Adult Baby. You may have left the playpen but the playpen hasn't left you. And right now we need you. This city needs you."

A. B. pouted for a moment. Then his lips parted in a wide smile, his eyes crossed, and he giggled idiotically. Childe waited patiently for him to refocus. Finally A.B. said, "Maybe we should discuss this over a bottle of Similac?"

"No worries," said Childe, tossing A. B. a baby bottle. "I brought one. Shaken, not stirred?"

"You know me so well," said A. B., taking a drink. "Now let's give that killer a long, long nap."

google THIS posted:

Chief Childe hesitated as he approached the remote cabin. This was going to open old boo-boos. But what choice did he have?

He found his target out back, smacking a pile of already split firewood with a toy axe. "A. B.," Childe said. "It's been a long time."

The stooped figure paused, his back still to the police chief. "What do you want?" he asked. There was an edge to his voice, and Childe knew he had to talk fast or a tantrum was likely to follow.

"I need you to help me catch the Daycare Killer."

A. B. laughed, finally turning to face his old boss. His matted beard was damp. Could it be...milk? "You need my help? Why me?"

"None of the other officers can do what you do," said Childe. "I need a man on the inside. No, more than that, I need a baby. I need Adult Baby."

"You kicked me off the force," said A. B. "Made me turn in my name tag. Told me I was a loose squirtgun."

"And now I'm telling you you're the only man for the job...And the only baby."

"I don't do that anymore, chief."

"Bullshit," Childe snapped.

"Poopy," A. B. corrected.

"Fine then, poopy. You think I can't hear that diaper crinkling under those jeans? Think I can't smell the stink of formula around this hovel of yours? No, you're still Adult Baby. You may have left the playpen but the playpen hasn't left you. And right now we need you. This city needs you."

A. B. pouted for a moment. Then his lips parted in a wide smile, his eyes crossed, and he giggled idiotically. Childe waited patiently for him to refocus. Finally A.B. said, "Maybe we should discuss this over a bottle of Similac?"

"No worries," said Childe, tossing A. B. a baby bottle. "I brought one. Shaken, not stirred?"

"You know me so well," said A. B., taking a drink. "Now let's give that killer a long, long nap."

google THIS posted:

Chief Childe hesitated as he approached the remote cabin. This was going to open old boo-boos. But what choice did he have?

He found his target out back, smacking a pile of already split firewood with a toy axe. "A. B.," Childe said. "It's been a long time."

The stooped figure paused, his back still to the police chief. "What do you want?" he asked. There was an edge to his voice, and Childe knew he had to talk fast or a tantrum was likely to follow.

"I need you to help me catch the Daycare Killer."

A. B. laughed, finally turning to face his old boss. His matted beard was damp. Could it be...milk? "You need my help? Why me?"

"None of the other officers can do what you do," said Childe. "I need a man on the inside. No, more than that, I need a baby. I need Adult Baby."

"You kicked me off the force," said A. B. "Made me turn in my name tag. Told me I was a loose squirtgun."

"And now I'm telling you you're the only man for the job...And the only baby."

"I don't do that anymore, chief."

"Bullshit," Childe snapped.

"Poopy," A. B. corrected.

"Fine then, poopy. You think I can't hear that diaper crinkling under those jeans? Think I can't smell the stink of formula around this hovel of yours? No, you're still Adult Baby. You may have left the playpen but the playpen hasn't left you. And right now we need you. This city needs you."

A. B. pouted for a moment. Then his lips parted in a wide smile, his eyes crossed, and he giggled idiotically. Childe waited patiently for him to refocus. Finally A.B. said, "Maybe we should discuss this over a bottle of Similac?"

"No worries," said Childe, tossing A. B. a baby bottle. "I brought one. Shaken, not stirred?"

"You know me so well," said A. B., taking a drink. "Now let's give that killer a long, long nap."

google THIS posted:

Chief Childe hesitated as he approached the remote cabin. This was going to open old boo-boos. But what choice did he have?

He found his target out back, smacking a pile of already split firewood with a toy axe. "A. B.," Childe said. "It's been a long time."

The stooped figure paused, his back still to the police chief. "What do you want?" he asked. There was an edge to his voice, and Childe knew he had to talk fast or a tantrum was likely to follow.

"I need you to help me catch the Daycare Killer."

A. B. laughed, finally turning to face his old boss. His matted beard was damp. Could it be...milk? "You need my help? Why me?"

"None of the other officers can do what you do," said Childe. "I need a man on the inside. No, more than that, I need a baby. I need Adult Baby."

"You kicked me off the force," said A. B. "Made me turn in my name tag. Told me I was a loose squirtgun."

"And now I'm telling you you're the only man for the job...And the only baby."

"I don't do that anymore, chief."

"Bullshit," Childe snapped.

"Poopy," A. B. corrected.

"Fine then, poopy. You think I can't hear that diaper crinkling under those jeans? Think I can't smell the stink of formula around this hovel of yours? No, you're still Adult Baby. You may have left the playpen but the playpen hasn't left you. And right now we need you. This city needs you."

A. B. pouted for a moment. Then his lips parted in a wide smile, his eyes crossed, and he giggled idiotically. Childe waited patiently for him to refocus. Finally A.B. said, "Maybe we should discuss this over a bottle of Similac?"

"No worries," said Childe, tossing A. B. a baby bottle. "I brought one. Shaken, not stirred?"

"You know me so well," said A. B., taking a drink. "Now let's give that killer a long, long nap."

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

thepiratebae.se posted:

HighwireAct posted:

alnilam posted: