STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

«‹›2868 »

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Tears In A Vial posted:

Courtesy of The Worst Things For Sale

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IPYNBKI/ref=?tag=natdee-20

Ah, the spocker.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 02:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 2, 2024 05:03

treiz01: Jan 2, 2008; There is little that makes me happier than taking drugs. Perhaps administering them, designing and carrying out experiments that bend the plane of what we consider reality.

Harveygod posted:

by having her want Odo to flesh her out a bit.

Funny, but inaccurate. She wanted to jump his non-bones.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 02:09

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Best thing about Lwaxana's Ds9 episode where she makes everyone go after their crushes is Jadzia throwing herself at Sisko not because she has a crush on him but because she saw what was going on and figured "Hey, this'll be a great prank!"

# ? Sep 4, 2016 02:12

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

It wasn't a prank though? She really was throwing herself at him and continued to do it after.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 02:38

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Big Mean Jerk posted:

Lwaxana episodes suck, but only because they're Troi episodes and usually include ten scenes where Lwaxana says something and Deanna rolls her eyes into the back of her head.

The problem is not Lwaxana, she's great. I mean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45VAelC_QsI

I don't care if she's only on the show because she knew how to pluck Gene's roddenberries, the character is great. That's why she works in the DS9 episode. It doesn't have to rely on Troi reacting to her mother's antics.

The only good part of the TNG Lwaxana episodes was watching Picard lose his stoic disposition and do everything he could to get the hell out of Dodge.

He'd self-destruct the Enterprise if he could be absolutely certain she wouldn't wind up in his escape pod somehow.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 02:40

Guy Goodbody: Aug 31, 2016; by Nyc_Tattoo

Ballers is pretty good

# ? Sep 4, 2016 05:53

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Star Trek: Equinox alright hell yeah son

Cool captain: "the episode is over and the plot now calls for me to kill myself to reset the stakes for next week's episode"
Viewers: "no wait, you could actually make the show interesti-"
Cool captain: <wicked sick fly-off move> <explosion powered by missed opportunities>

:sigh:

# ? Sep 4, 2016 08:21

Shipon: Nov 7, 2005

star trek 6 is the best TOS movie and i didn't know about odo's actor being cut from the movie because roddenberry was a pissbaby about the humans being anything other than perfect

# ? Sep 4, 2016 09:26

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

Roddenberry seems like he was very close-minded and stubborn which is just lol

# ? Sep 4, 2016 09:48

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

Guy Goodbody posted:

Ballers is pretty good

Isn't that the show about an ex-Tsunkatse fighter who now works as an agent signing new fighters?

# ? Sep 4, 2016 11:43

egon_beeblebrox: Mar 1, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

I just got to TOS season 2 in my rewatch and everything about Chekov is loving Terrible.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 12:19

shovelbum: Oct 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

egon_beeblebrox posted:

I just got to TOS season 2 in my rewatch and everything about Chekov is loving Terrible.

Fuckin psi corps snitch

# ? Sep 4, 2016 12:28

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

Does anyone else think it was a missed opportunity in Trials and Tribble-ations that Worf wasn't in TOS makeup and nobody commented on it? I mean, yes, it's hilarious when he gives the non answer to why Klingons look different, but it would have been a good joke too.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 13:56

Triggered: Aug 21, 2016; Learn about this great man on mormon.org

Ya so worf said something happened between tos and TNG but when they brought kalis back his head still had the crinkled poo poo on it. Worfs story isnt adding up.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 13:58

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

Also, TOS has better fist fights than any other series. At least Scotty gets in some proper bar brawls, unlike the horrendous, stilted double balled fist punching from TNG onwards.

I'm including the Gorn fight in TOS as being better.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 14:08

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

Arcsquad12 posted:

Also, TOS has better fist fights than any other series. At least Scotty gets in some proper bar brawls, unlike the horrendous, stilted double balled fist punching from TNG onwards.

I'm including the Gorn fight in TOS as being better.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 14:12

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Fat Shat Sings posted:

So potent, it caused the 2nd scientist to collapse 10 foot away.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 15:41

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Tears In A Vial posted:

Courtesy of The Worst Things For Sale

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IPYNBKI/ref=?tag=natdee-20

Two in the pink, two in the stink, one up your own stink.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 15:44

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

AugmentedVision posted:

Roddenberry seems like he was very close-minded and stubborn which is just lol

Getting old sucks.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 15:45

MrSlam: Apr 25, 2014; And there you sat, eating hamburgers while the world cried.

Fat Shat Sings posted:

I'm willing to believe Roddenberry had a stipulation that all fight scenes must include his awkward clasped-hand martial arts, right next to "There is no money ever" and "The Federation is flawless."

# ? Sep 4, 2016 16:54

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Triggered posted:

Ya so worf said something happened between tos and TNG but when they brought kalis back his head still had the crinkled poo poo on it. Worfs story isnt adding up.

It was explained in ENT.

Wrinkle-headed is the default, but then Phlox and some Klingons were trying to cure some disease with genetic engineering but the side effect was all Klingons from then on would be smooth foreheads, but then I guess at some point during TOS they cured it, hence why we see Bumpy Heads and Smoothies thought the course of TOS (though to be fair, Bumpies were only in the movies, but since most of the Klingons in the movies were older, they had to have existed as Bumpies during the main run of TOS but just never seen.)

# ? Sep 4, 2016 19:22

egon_beeblebrox: Mar 1, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

I think there was a dumb throwaway line about plastic surgery to give the ridges back at the end. Which, I guess, explains why the TOS Klingons have ridges in DS9.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 19:26

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

IIRC, Enterprise also tossed in a line about the smooth-heads being forced into a lower caste.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 19:30

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

it's funny because when bashir asks worf what the deal is, he guesses exactly what it was as he asked the question. "genetic engineering? a viral mutation?" exactly.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 20:20

egon_beeblebrox: Mar 1, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

It's pretty hosed up that Zefram Cochrane ends up banging a space cloud in a dead woman's body for all eternity.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 20:47

AugmentedVision: Feb 17, 2011; by exmarx

egon_beeblebrox posted:

I think there was a dumb throwaway line about plastic surgery to give the ridges back at the end. Which, I guess, explains why the TOS Klingons have ridges in DS9.

That's what it says on the Wiki

"Artificial eye so I can fight properly? NO!"
"Cosmetic surgery? Hell yeah!"

# ? Sep 4, 2016 21:02

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

AugmentedVision posted:

That's what it says on the Wiki

"Artificial eye so I can fight properly? NO!"
"Cosmetic surgery? Hell yeah!"

Username/post combo :drat:

e: also, there's a reason Worf says "We do not discuss it with outsiders." Brings up too many questions.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 21:09

JediTalentAgent: Jun 5, 2005; Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Before Enterprise, my personal fan-theory was that during the TOS eras the Klingons were starting to engage in a lot more subterfuge and dealing with alien races in competition with the Federation.

Klingons serving in positions that would take them outside the core of the Empire would intentionally have had surgery done to both look less Klingon and more 'human' as a a means to an end: It would let them appear less threatening and alien to a number of the more basic human-looking aliens they'd encounter, it'd allow them to quickly just slap some new foreheads on when they wanted to infiltrate another species, they could disguise themselves as humans for sabotage or damaging relationships, etc.

Worf's desire to not talk about it with outsiders is maybe due to post-TOS, the Empire felt it was not an honorable plot, perhaps even coupled with dead or returning altered Klingons being seen as disgraceful for a time unless they could get surgery to correct their appearances.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 21:33

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

DrBouvenstein posted:

It was explained in ENT.

Wrinkle-headed is the default, but then Phlox and some Klingons were trying to cure some disease with genetic engineering but the side effect was all Klingons from then on would be smooth foreheads, but then I guess at some point during TOS they cured it, hence why we see Bumpy Heads and Smoothies thought the course of TOS (though to be fair, Bumpies were only in the movies, but since most of the Klingons in the movies were older, they had to have existed as Bumpies during the main run of TOS but just never seen.)

nah it was that any klingons currently infected with the virus they accidentally created could be cured but they would lose their ridges. So there were millions of Klingons with smooth heads and it took a few generations for them to dilute enough that the ridges became dominant again

# ? Sep 4, 2016 22:11

sweet geek swag: Mar 29, 2006; Adjust lasers to FUN!

How did Kor get the ridges back then?

# ? Sep 4, 2016 22:55

egon_beeblebrox: Mar 1, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

caleramaen posted:

How did Kor get the ridges back then?

plastic surgery. Read the thread, man.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 23:00

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Bet you there is a guy in Section 31 assigned to find out the Klingon ridge thing, and after a century of torturing people still hasn't an answer for it.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 23:19

egon_beeblebrox: Mar 1, 2008; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

happyhippy posted:

Bet you there is a guy in Section 31 assigned to find out the Klingon ridge thing, and after a century of torturing people still hasn't an answer for it.

Section 31 is made up of dumb people, like Reed.

# ? Sep 4, 2016 23:21

Apollodorus: Feb 13, 2010; TEST YOUR MIGHT

JediTalentAgent posted:

Before Enterprise, my personal fan-theory was that during the TOS eras the Klingons were starting to engage in a lot more subterfuge and dealing with alien races in competition with the Federation.

Klingons serving in positions that would take them outside the core of the Empire would intentionally have had surgery done to both look less Klingon and more 'human' as a a means to an end: It would let them appear less threatening and alien to a number of the more basic human-looking aliens they'd encounter, it'd allow them to quickly just slap some new foreheads on when they wanted to infiltrate another species, they could disguise themselves as humans for sabotage or damaging relationships, etc.

I think this is the explanation given in an old non-canon reference book of aliens, which I think was from the early 80s?

# ? Sep 4, 2016 23:44

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

It's a much better explanation than what we got, that's for sure. I'm convinced that story arc exists solely so they could show Archer getting ridges in the teaser.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 00:26

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

I read that the DS9 episode where Sisko was a SF writer in the 60s was based on Samuel Delaney but I don't remember him being gay as hell.

# ? Sep 5, 2016 00:31

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

JediTalentAgent posted:

Before Enterprise, my personal fan-theory was that during the TOS eras the Klingons were starting to engage in a lot more subterfuge and dealing with alien races in competition with the Federation.

Klingons serving in positions that would take them outside the core of the Empire would intentionally have had surgery done to both look less Klingon and more 'human' as a a means to an end: It would let them appear less threatening and alien to a number of the more basic human-looking aliens they'd encounter, it'd allow them to quickly just slap some new foreheads on when they wanted to infiltrate another species, they could disguise themselves as humans for sabotage or damaging relationships, etc.

Worf's desire to not talk about it with outsiders is maybe due to post-TOS, the Empire felt it was not an honorable plot, perhaps even coupled with dead or returning altered Klingons being seen as disgraceful for a time unless they could get surgery to correct their appearances.

Oh. I just solve the problem by saying TOS isn't canon. :smug: