oldpainless posted:

With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore?

oldpainless posted:

With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore?

oldpainless posted:

With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore?

WrenP-Complete posted:

I think I've told this story in this thread, but after learning self defense and basics of Tai Chi, Aikido, Krav Maga, two guys tried to mug me, I broke a nose and started shouting, and then called 911 on myself, sobbing. The 911 operator explained what happened to me, and everything was (relatively) fine. Don't get into real fights; it's horrible.

how me a frog posted:

It's like the third time I've seen you tell that exact "story" so chances are, yeah, you probably told it in this thread before.

quote:

(It’s 6:30 in the morning and our store has been open for about a half hour. I am the only cashier at the moment, so I am taking care of a cash register, as well as two self scan registers. A lady with a carriage full of items walks past my cash register down to the self scan registers. After she tries to find her first item, she calls me over.)

Lady: “I can’t seem to find these bananas in the computer; can you find them for me?”

Me: “Sure, you just click right here—” *clicks PRODUCE button* “—and click on the banana picture. All the produce is listed in here and is in alphabetical order.”

Lady: “Oh, thank you!”

(I start to head back to my cash register and not two seconds later, she calls me again.)

Lady: “I can’t seem to find the zucchini. Can you help me again?”

(I help her find her zucchini as well as about fifteen other produce items. After the produce, she proceeds to have me scan every other item in her shopping cart, because she can’t seem to get them to scan. Finally, after about ten minutes, she finishes and starts to pay.)

Lady: “Gosh, I just wish these things didn’t take so long.”

Me: “I know the self scans can be tricky sometimes, so if you’d like, the next time you come in, I can ring you out at my cash register. The cash registers are a lot quicker than the self scans; I could have your order done in less than two minutes.”

Lady: “Oh, no, it’s okay, honey. I like doing it myself!”

WrenP-Complete posted:

I think I've told this story in this thread, but after learning self defense and basics of Tai Chi, Aikido, Krav Maga, two guys tried to mug me, I broke a nose and started shouting, and then called 911 on myself, sobbing. The 911 operator explained what happened to me, and everything was (relatively) fine. Don't get into real fights; it's horrible.

e_angst posted:

Seriously. The majority of real fights look something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jepe68XC6tU.

WrenP-Complete posted:

Maybe someday I'll learn my lesson.

oldpainless posted:

With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore?

sweeperbravo posted:

the amygdala

oldpainless posted:

With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore?

WrenP-Complete posted:

She, please.

And thanks, I'm also pretty sure it was here, I don't read the martial arts thread.

poptart_fairy posted:

But I killed her in Bloodborne?

And man, Krav Maga "just" being really painful crotch shots takes a lot of mystique out of it.

Verisimilidude posted:

Verisimilidude posted:

quote:

Okay STORY TIME

so I was walking back from work around nineish and my neighbor/seminar classmate is in the hallway talking to his girlfriend. he sees me and he’s like “hey!! hey classmate whose name I don’t know” so I turned around and was like “it’s Hayley.”

and he apologized for not knowing (I didn’t know his name either so I wasn’t mad) and asked if I’d started my first paper for seminar. he asked me what it was on so I told him and he was like “I’m so stuck I have no idea what to do,” so clearly the natural response for my stupid rear end to make is to offer him help – I told him to knock on our door and ask for me if he needed help.

maybe I did this because I was still in tutor mode from work. maybe I did it because no one takes those offers up anyway, right?

wrong! a half an hour later, as I’m getting ready to shower, he knocks for the door and asks for me, and all my roommates don’t believe him bc he’s this dude bro who clearly works out and is wearing a johnny cash tshirt. like how fake deep is that. i would never associate with a dude bro

so he invites me back to his place and as I’m walking there I’m like “this could very possibly be a bad idea,” but I go anyway bc I’m a dumbass with no sense of self preservation.

he lets me into his apartment and I’m immediately hit with the bro-ness of it all: a sports illustrated poster on the wall, protein powder EVERYWHERE, posters of beer, snap backs, flasks, and a guitar because of course there is.

his room is no better, and alarm bells are just loving going off and I’m trying to think of a quick exit. then he tries to close his drat door to his own room and I’m like “hold up that stays open” and he was like “oh yeah I’m sorry I didn’t think about that,” which was….considerate.

two hours, two cigarette breaks later, one opening paragraph later, and one of his roommates trying to hit on me later, he starts talking about intersectionality and my mind goes ?????????????? and we legit talked about rape culture and trump and how hosed we all are. eventually we started talking about the law and feminism so then I tell him I’m gay and his immediate response is “do you get those stupid microagressions from guys who say they can turn you straight?” and it took me a minute to respond bc the fact he even knew that word was so bizarre it was like worlds colliding.

he then tells me he thinks his little sister might be gay because he thinks she told him while he was drunk one night but he couldn’t remember so he asks for advice because he doesn’t want to upset her because, in his words, “I’m not gay so you know I don’t understand it like you do.”

then, because the night of course could get weirder, he tells me he writes poetry but doesn’t tell anyone because he’ll get poo poo for it bc he’s supposed to be a “tough guy” and masculine and poo poo and I just feel Jesus sending me a message through this kid that I shouldn’t judge all dude bros by the bro-ness of their looks but I also wanna stay sexy and not get murdered so I’m gonna keep doing that. sorry jesus.

finally I left because I was tired and also I had to wash the smell of bad cologne off of me but guys this was an experience please believe me. i was standing in the shower before just letting the water wash over me as the whole two hour ordeal played over in my head because we laughed, we talked. he told me something about himself no one else knows, we exchanged political ideas and fist bumps. we bonded over the stress of a seminar paper and now we are forever changed by this event.

so that was how my dumb lesbian rear end willingly walked into a room with four dudebros in it.

chitoryu12 posted:

Another Tumblr story that starts off kinda realistic and then ventures off into "Nobody speaks like that" territory.

chitoryu12 posted:

Another Tumblr story that starts off kinda realistic and then ventures off into "Nobody speaks like that" territory.

Butt Detective posted:

I know these are fake texts, but this is exactly the kind of thing my dad would do, considering I've walked into my room to see things like this on several occasions over the years

[

goose willis posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

Another Tumblr story that starts off kinda realistic and then ventures off into "Nobody speaks like that" territory.

e_angst posted:

And suddenly, the thread encounters a wild Economist!

Dreddout posted:

Some dude called me a fag, we're meeting behind the gym after school to settle this like men!

Non Serviam posted:

I wish she would have ended the story with

"and then we made out, as I realized my lesbianism had been cured "

I mean, if you're going to sound like a piece of poo poo just go all out.

Fathis Munk posted:

Yeah knives ain't no laughing matter.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYwd0Wus5Ik

Jerry Cotton posted: