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Saint Isaias Boner posted:they are aware that plenty of christians will punch you right in the face aren't they? sheep don't punch, they kick 
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Oct 20, 2016 00:22
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Oct 20, 2016 03:14
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Did he cry before or after he hosed her? This is important.
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Oct 20, 2016 04:45
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Khazar-khum posted:Did he cry before or after he hosed her? This is important. During.
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Oct 20, 2016 04:55
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Obviously the loving was between Jesus and Christ duh
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Oct 20, 2016 04:58
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How do you order an uber without a destination?
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Oct 20, 2016 06:39
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oldpainless posted:With how dangerous it is, why does anybody even fight anymore? More like Old Ballless, amirite?
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Oct 20, 2016 06:59
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sweeperbravo posted:sheep don't punch, they kick I am a Christian and I would punch ALL of you in the face.
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Oct 20, 2016 07:05
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WrenP-Complete posted:How do you order an uber without a destination? I mean she could have just ordered one home then asked to drive around a bit when the car arrived?
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Oct 20, 2016 07:26
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Saint Isaias Boner posted:they are aware that plenty of christians will punch you right in the face aren't they? Real christians won't. But the sacristan will throw you out.
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Oct 20, 2016 08:45
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Jerry Cotton posted:Real christians won't. But the sacristan will throw you out. well it depends on whether they interpret "turn the other cheek" to mean everyone or just other christians. i think even the most forgive and forget christian would be tested by these three idiots and g-d would probably let an asskicking slide
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Oct 20, 2016 09:28
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I read the manual and it turns out christians are weak to cognitive dissonance. If you point out their own dogmatic hypocrisy, or reference an internal inconsistency from the bible, your garden variety christian will immediately take 20 INT damage and should die. Priests and other christian-map level bosses have more HP but take critical damage from "God Isn't Real, Loser" spells; you can also increase your tank's resistance to christian attacks by equipping the "I'M AN ATHEIST" XXL t-shirt. It's worth mentioning--and don't ask me how I discovered this--that if your system clock reads Feb 14th while playing the "Christian Sorority House Party" level, you take double damage from the teenage mothers' "get out of here, virgin" special attack, so make sure you change the date if you're playing on valentine's day.
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Oct 20, 2016 10:21
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Oct 20, 2016 17:13
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God loving damnit
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Oct 20, 2016 17:43
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The NSA is gonna hire that guy to simultaneously monitor all of CARNIVORE's video feeds.
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Oct 20, 2016 18:47
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Furia posted:God loving damnit
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Oct 20, 2016 19:20
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Oct 21, 2016 01:23
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I can almost guarantee that this goober mixed up British Columbia and District of Columbia at some point, then made up a story around it to show people how smart and politically minded he is. Also how did Guy Who Totally Exists know DC was on the east coast if he didn't know it existed
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Oct 21, 2016 01:33
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Oct 21, 2016 02:03
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Oct 21, 2016 02:38
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**The last sentence is what really makes it** Actually, this could have happened - in the porno he torrented to tide him over the weekend. Also doesn't he look a bit too old to have a Maths teacher? e: like at university/college you wouldn't refer to your "math" teacher, you'd refer to your linear algebra teacher or your intro to statistics teacher or whatever, right? I have never loving heard anyone over the age of 18 refer to their "math teacher" e2: You know, I'm 90% sure there was a derail about this in the previous thread. CROWS EVERYWHERE has a new favorite as of 11:00 on Oct 21, 2016 |
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Oct 21, 2016 10:55
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CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:**The last sentence is what really makes it** Guys today in my Math 134: Linear and Nonlinear Systems of Differential Equations this happened.
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Oct 21, 2016 14:34
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still trying to figure out how a nail could make her shirt come off did it unravel the fiber one strand of cotton at a time and she kept walking until her entire shirt was gone
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Oct 21, 2016 16:43
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Ein cooler Typ posted:still trying to figure out how a nail could make her shirt come off I think the second. Because that man lives in a cartoon.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:55
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He can't even tell the difference between capital city and capitol? And why is that (and Province) capitalized?
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Oct 21, 2016 17:11
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I read this as "Oh dear, Anime anxiety is great isn't it?" Which actually works, given the fact that she probably cribbed this idea from an anime!
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Oct 21, 2016 19:08
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some Jezebel article about beating up men posted:I got back at my ex who cheated on me with physical revenge, but it happened in the best way possible: In a judo class we were both taking at the time. There are some pretty terrible people and more stdh in the article and comments.
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Oct 22, 2016 00:54
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Horror_Business posted:There are some pretty terrible people and more stdh in the article and comments. Jesus christ quote:With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who's gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let's just say that it'd be wise to never ever gently caress with us I'm so glad this loving rag went bankrupt.
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Oct 22, 2016 01:01
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Jezebel is still alive and well, friend (Only gawker.com died)
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Oct 22, 2016 03:47
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If you're struggling on the ground and not making progress, you get stood up in judo, usually in seconds. Stdh clarification: the instructor let her ploddingly wear home down on the ground.
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Oct 22, 2016 04:24
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Oct 22, 2016 04:51
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JEzebel is actually a really good site and that article owns
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Oct 22, 2016 04:59
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Darth Windu posted:JEzebel is actually a really good site and that article owns for me to poop on
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Oct 22, 2016 05:21
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kimbo305 posted:If you're struggling on the ground and not making progress, you get stood up in judo, usually in seconds. This assumes that the poo poo happened, though.
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Oct 22, 2016 08:10
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That's what I meant by stdh clarification -- I'm canon-explaining in STDH World.
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Oct 22, 2016 08:11
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kimbo305 posted:That's what I meant by stdh clarification -- I'm canon-explaining in STDH World. Consider yourself no-prized, True Believer!
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Oct 22, 2016 11:14
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Pizzaquote:This troper and her friend had stopped at WalMart to buy candy and energy drinks before a movie — the cashier who rang them up told them that he had snuck two two-liter bottles of soda, a large pizza, and a half-gallon carton of ice cream into a movie once, hiding it underneath his coat. This troper didn't believe it at first, but after reading about the truth in television, she is not so sure the cashier was lying. Cat quote:This troper has gotten a little bit better, but used to be able to fit several pens, wallet, cell phone, two sets of keys, ID card (with a third set of keys), a can of Coke, two bags of chips, and a kicking, screaming cat, if small enough, in his pants. The fact that he now has to use a coat thanks to winter makes it much more interesting. Pants quote:I saw a demonstration once where a guy, wearing only baggy cargo pants, a hoody, and a coat with a suprising amount of pockets... ran around the track for two laps, completly normally. No bulges or anything. He pulled out 19 different pistols, six revolvers, two sawed off shotguns, a hunting rifle (not fully attached, but he remedied that in a few seconds), and an assault rifle (again, he had to quickly assemble it after removing it) along with a few dozen magazines of ammo. This was to explain why cargo pants, hoodies, and jackets with more than three pockets were banned at my school. Chickens quote:This troper once declared his backpack a bag of wonders after fitting 2 live chickens, a bottle of water, a box of crackers, 4 hardcover books, 3 bottles of soda, his laptop, a shaving kit, 4 large zip lock bags of halloween candy and half a giant lobster costume inside it. Admitedly, the chickens had to sit on top of it and this tropers hat, but the look of amazement on his friends faces was worth being pecked on the head several times. The same backpack actualy beat Boston airport security, because after coming back from England, this troper spent 10 minutes trying to take all the books he had bought overseas and didn't want to ship back(they totaled soemthing like 250, with 70 of those coming back with me directly). Eventualy, after 30 books, the bag checker gave up and handed me back the backpack, saying (I Am Not Making This Up) "Congradulations kid, you beat the U.S. Goverment. Now get the #$%^ out of here." Books quote:This Troper tended to read through home-room announcements, lo those many eons ago back in middle school. The teacher consequently banned him from reading in homeroom. The next day, he came to class and started to read, so his book was taken. He pulled out another. The process repeated itself five times before the teacher gave up. He still had six more books in his backpack. Istanbul quote:This troper and her friends and family were playing Trivial Pursuit. This troper and her partner were both extremely nerdy. At one point, the question posed to us was, "Before its name changed, what was the city of Istanbul called?" In near-synchronicity, we both burst out into: "Istanbul, not Constantinople / Yes, it's Istanbul, not Constantinople / No, you can't go back to Constantinople / Why did Constantinople get the works? / That's nobody's business but the Turks!"
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Oct 22, 2016 11:17
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emdash posted:Jezebel is still alive and well, friend 😭 Khazar-khum posted:Pizza Basically assholes who want to be this rear end in a top hat https://youtu.be/sqYV-GLnxQU Where do you find all of these? Do you have a saved version of trooper tales or something? Redrum and Coke has a new favorite as of 11:36 on Oct 22, 2016 |
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Oct 22, 2016 11:29
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Khazar-khum posted:I saw a demonstration once where a guy, wearing only baggy cargo pants, a hoody, and a coat with a suprising amount of pockets... ran around the track for two laps, completly normally. No bulges or anything. He pulled out 19 different pistols, six revolvers, two sawed off shotguns, a hunting rifle (not fully attached, but he remedied that in a few seconds), and an assault rifle (again, he had to quickly assemble it after removing it) along with a few dozen magazines of ammo. This was to explain why cargo pants, hoodies, and jackets with more than three pockets were banned at my school. Relevant video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75sWALt2IzI
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Oct 22, 2016 11:34
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Fathis Munk posted:Relevant video I wanna see him running though. Also, you do you, patriot 
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Oct 22, 2016 11:37
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