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 It is good to be king
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Jan 3, 2017 05:50
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| # ? May 10, 2024 09:59 |
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##joker time
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Jan 3, 2017 05:55
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Moatillata posted:
Most you got tiny hands.
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Jan 3, 2017 06:15
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CCKeane posted:Most you got tiny hands. That is actually a pint glass perspective is off
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Jan 3, 2017 06:18
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Moatillata posted:That is actually a pint glass perspective is off Moat are you Donald Trump
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Jan 3, 2017 06:22
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CCKeane posted:Moat are you Donald Trump Keane my hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards
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Jan 3, 2017 06:28
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Moatillata posted:Keane my hands can hit a golf ball 285 yards Your tiny hands may be able to hit a golf ball, but they'll never touch the skin of a living being that doesn't recoil from them.
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Jan 3, 2017 06:32
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CCKeane posted:Your tiny hands may be able to hit a golf ball, but they'll never touch the skin of a living being that doesn't recoil from them. Keane I know you're hurting rn It's okay, there will be other poo poo talking games. You can be a champion one day too
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Jan 3, 2017 06:37
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SLASHER HAWKE posted:VOTE MOAT
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Jan 3, 2017 06:46
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ugh yeah i've been garbage time to shittalk myself instead cmon you loving lurker gently caress get back in the game
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Jan 3, 2017 07:21
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i'd say you're better than this but you're not you're poo poo
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Jan 3, 2017 07:29
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No don't poo poo-talk yourself  You're loving awful at it, just stop
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Jan 3, 2017 12:36
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UnCO3 posted:No don't poo poo-talk yourself 
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Jan 3, 2017 13:24
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Nothing ironic here bucko, just good old-fashioned sincere advice
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Jan 3, 2017 13:37
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UnCO3 posted:Nothing ironic here bucko, just good old-fashioned sincere advice Actually it's ferric and it's between your ears
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Jan 3, 2017 13:41
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you should probably get that checked out and stay away from magnets
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Jan 3, 2017 13:41
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UnCO3 posted:No don't poo poo-talk yourself you're right i'm even garbage at this literally the worst poster, imagined by the shittiest of minds to grace the forum cosmos
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Jan 3, 2017 15:40
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 Prepare yourselves, motherfuckers, because it's time for the best meal without a name that has ever existed. Strap in, this poo poo is going to take all goddamn day.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:28
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Welcome to "Is it chili? Is it spaghetti sauce? WHO KNOWS, WHO CARES!" Step 1) Put some oil in a pan  Step 2) Get some garlic. I'm starting with 5 cloves. This will not be the last of the garlic by a longshot.  Step 3) Get real goddamn annoyed that your hands aren't dry after washing them and the loving papery garlic skin is sticking to them.  Step 4) Chop that poo poo and throw it into the pan of heated oil.  Step 5) Open the can of tomatoes  Step 6) Get your loving hands in there and crush that poo poo up. Yes it feels disgusting but you need to do it.  Step 7) Put it in the pan with the garlic and oil. Spice that poo poo.  Now as that simmers we begin the endless journey of chopping every vegetable to ever exist.
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Jan 3, 2017 17:50
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look at this basic rear end chef not taking care of proper mise en place
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Jan 3, 2017 18:11
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Step one wash your hands you goddamned animal
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Jan 3, 2017 18:12
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Absurd Revolver posted:look at this basic rear end chef not taking care of proper mise en place This is an all day affair. If I did all my prep before I started cooking anything, it wouldn't have nearly long enough to cook. GOTTA DO THIS poo poo LIVE!
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Jan 3, 2017 18:17
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Moatillata posted:Step one wash your hands you goddamned animal That's what the tomato water is for obv
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Jan 3, 2017 18:17
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Wheeeee-awwwwfuuuuuck
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Jan 3, 2017 18:32
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Can I roll to see how many people I give middle fingers on my way down?
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Jan 3, 2017 18:36
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.|.. ..|.
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Jan 3, 2017 18:37
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More like Shits and Ladders.
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Jan 3, 2017 18:40
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peramene posted:More like Shits and Ladders. Please don't sign your posts.
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Jan 3, 2017 18:50
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Update: Still chopping vegetables!
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Jan 3, 2017 19:24
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Now, I've seen a lot of pets in this thread. I've seen a lot of good arguments for their virtues. There's no doubt that there are many which fulfill them, and I am not here to denounce that, but I feel like this is something that must be addressed. Before I go on, I will first say that I have not properly participated in this game thus far. Far too many have not been properly verbally thrashed to call myself a true shittalker, and I must step up my game, as to best honor the man, nay, the legend that I am here to present to you. This, dear thread, is Pinto. And he is a Kind Kat.  While you may not know him, I can personally attest to the fact that Pinto, is in fact, the most kind cat that may possibly exist. Scientists, statesmen, and voodoo headhunters have all agreed on this undeniable fact, as he rubbed up against their legs and purred happily. Pinto has had a difficult time, having been adopted by us(out of kindness) after his previous owner was left homeless and had to move back in with their cat allergic parents. We were glad to have him, a beautiful and shy maine coon in our home, protecting our children, defending them from the absolutely massive palmetto bugs that often menace our household. Unfortunately, last year, disaster struck.  Our son, as dear as he is, left our door open and allowed Pinto to escape, whereupon he went on a months long quest of discovery and survival. When they finally found him, almost four months later, he was missing his tail, after defending himself from a viscous coyote which have become common in our Floridian wasteland. But did he let this damper his kind nature?  No, no he did not. He persevered. He loves his family, and they love him. Since then, he has survived the ordeals of our youngest at his tail grabbing, cat chasing, rubbing fur the wrong way prime, and done so with out a single complaint. I submit to you, Pinto, the Kind Kat of Kind Kitties. 
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Jan 3, 2017 19:30
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Can't even poo poo-talk that, it's just a good cat.
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Jan 3, 2017 20:03
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This next part encompasses approximately 3 hours of work. The sauce is simmering away on the stove time to cut up some loving vegetables while watching the first episode of the new season of The Bachelor.  Let's start with the mushrooms. Wash those fuckers off cause they are covered in dirt. Or don't, dirt builds up the immune system. Then we chop them up. All of these are a rough chop because the end result is going to be extremely chunky, like a stew. This further enhances the ambiguity over what exactly this food is that I'm making.  Next we start with the green peppers. This will take approximately four thousand years.    Thank god that poo poo is over. The good news is though because it took so long, our marinara sauce is done. I didn't take a picture of it, but it's a deep red in the pan. However, what we are going to do is blend it. This part is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT or else the oil will not mix with the tomato water and your sauce will stay separated the entire time. You must blend. This turns the sauce from a dark red to an orange colour. I don't know why, some sort of chemistry magic it doesn't matter.  You put this into your slow cooker, and now have a free pan to saute your vegetables. Get those fuckers in there.  This is the tricky timing part because you gotta chop vegetables in the time it takes the previous batch of vegetables to cook in the pan, so chop like the loving wind. After the green peppers comes the celery and carrots   Then while those are cooking...the onion.
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Jan 3, 2017 20:09
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I usually use yellow onions but the ones they had at the store were tiny and gently caress that I'm not cutting up a thousand tiny onions so I bought a big white one. HOLY gently caress THIS ONION IS loving ME UP!    IT BURNS!  Okay gently caress off onion, you're done get in the goddamn pan. Now while the onion is cooking we get to the part people will probably poo poo on me for but I DON'T EVEN CARE!
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Jan 3, 2017 20:12
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seems like it would just be way quicker and reach the same result if Asiina just ate a bug
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Jan 3, 2017 20:24
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SLASHER HAWKE posted:seems like it would just be way quicker and reach the same result if Asiina just ate a bug Agreed.
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Jan 3, 2017 20:26
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Okay now there are three canned ingredients in this recipe. The tomatoes (but honestly for sauce canned tomatoes are better than fresh), lentils...and mushrooms. Yes, canned mushrooms. "But Asiina, you already put fresh mushrooms in why are you putting in gross canned mushrooms," you say because you're an idiot. "shut the gently caress up, nerd" I love mushrooms and normal fresh mushrooms are great, but canned mushrooms are very plump and full of water and they are good in a different way. They really take on the flavour of a sauce in the way that the browned sauteed mushrooms do not so I use both. The thing about canned mushrooms though is that they are about 1000% salt, and we're trying not to have a heart attack here, so you rinse those bastards for a longass time.  Now we use the lentils. Technically I guess I could use fresh lentils but 1) I don't know how and 2) I use small amounts of lentils is basically all my cooking because they are an excellent source of protein and I'm not cooking up fresh ones every drat time.  The thing with lentils though is they come in this weird gross liquid that also needs to be rinsed the gently caress off.   Put those bastards right in the sauce. Next update will be the final prep update as we finish the onions and cook up the meat (and add more garlic)
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Jan 3, 2017 20:28
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The onions have cooked down, they're starting to turn translucent. Don't want to overcook them though so time to add them into the pot! Now finally time to cook the meat. I'm using extra lean ground beef. Sometimes I use ground chicken or turkey instead of or as well, but just beef this time.  It's also time to add in more garlic. Another 5 cloves should be good for now.  Into the pan to cook with the meat!  *time passes*  Meat is all browned up. Drain out the excess fat. It's not too bad because it's extra lean, but still good to drain and into the sauce it goes. This is the slowcooker as it currently stands.  It will get more liquidy over time, but it will always be chunky. Is it spaghetti sauce? Is it chili? Who knows! What's important is that it gets to sit there for at least the next 5 hours, if not longer. I will just have to be patient. I will give periodic updates!
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Jan 3, 2017 20:50
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Krunge posted:Can't even poo poo-talk that, it's just a good cat. Totally agree, awesome cat. Also how could you when the cat actually has a higher post count than AR
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Jan 3, 2017 20:51
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Jan 3, 2017 21:13
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| # ? May 10, 2024 09:59 |
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It's too cold to shitpost
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Jan 3, 2017 22:07
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