WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

monkeytennis posted:

We are done with spiders. We're onto secretly filming your SO having a crafty five-knuckle shuffle now.

tactlessbastard posted:

There's spanking and then there's beating. Leaving marks and using implements pushes it way towards the beating end of the scale.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I'm with Pick on this one. More women needs to straight up murder their creepy rear end in a top hat boyfriends.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My [32F] live in boyfriend [33M] of 3 years, attempted to catch me masturbating

Tiny Deer posted:

The worst part of that story was being able to so perfectly picture his poo poo eating grin as he revealed he 'caught' her.

Actual douche chills, Jesus Christ, and then he offers to forgive her for masterbating.

Murder.

quote:

I've been with my boyfriend for six months now and there's been some noise about moving in together, but the stars haven't aligned yet. We're in a semi-long distance thing and I drive over to his place every weekend.
Recently he's been making comments about a few things he doesn't like about me- so much so that I'm thinking he might break up with me over them. Here are the things he complains about (in order of frequency):

I don't like music/going to clubs. It isn't my thing. I'm willing to tag along with him if he wants but he knows it isn't what I would prefer to be doing. I've said that I'm fine with him going by himself but he doesn't want to do that either.

I get stressed/frustrated easily. Not much to say about that. It's either a character flaw or a personality trait, but it's one I've been trying to change.

I'm a vegetarian. He always complains about this and often asks if I want a bite of whatever he's eating when it includes meat. I've never once criticized him for eating meat, and I have no idea why he objects to me being a vegetarian. This is absolutely not something I am willing to change.

I want to avoid breaking the law. I follow the law to the letter- no alcohol while driving, no speeding, no drugs, no pirating media. This annoys the gently caress out of him. He seems to think that you can't have fun while obeying the law. I've told him that he's welcome to do whatever- but that he shouldn't make me a party to it.

I'm used to a "different lifestyle" than him. I grew up poor; he grew up dirt poor. My childhood was with my family in a trailer; his childhood was with two or three families in a trailer. We currently have the same level of education and income.

He always seems to mention these things and I don't know what I can do to make him happy. I haven't ever been unhappy in the relationship but it seems like he is always unhappy and I don't know what to do. I love him but if he isn't happy with me... I don't know...

TL;DR My BF has a list of things he doesn't like about me and I don't know how to fix things.

Waterbed Wendy posted:

I [25 F] seem to irritate my [35 M] boyfriend and I don't think I can change.
submitted 6 months ago * by Not_Barack_Obama23


TBH this lady does sound pretty boring especially at 25, but when your bf makes a list of poo poo he doesn't like about you.........

quote:

Karate teacher [late 40s M] yelled and humiliated my [25 F] little sister [11F] and made her cry. My mom [50 F] won't let her quit even though she hates the class.

My mom is gone for two weeks on a business trip. I've been taking care of my little sister.

On Tuesdays she has karate class. My mom put her into class because she was bullied and this class was supposed to raise her self esteem. She is a shy kid and this karate teacher was supposed to help her gain confidence and come out of her shell.

I go to pick her up and take her to class, I was a little late because work went over the expected time. She starts getting nervous because of traffic that we're going to be late. I took this as she was excited for class and didn't want to miss any of her class. I told her to relax that we're only going to be five minutes late. She said that kids that are late have to do push ups in front of the whole class. My sister hates being in trouble and being the center of attention, so I understand why she didn't want to be late. I told her I'd take the blame and not to worry.

We walked in about 5 minutes late like I thought and the teacher, immediately called her to the front of the room to have her do push ups. She was shaking. I went over and introduced myself and apologized for being late. I informed him that I got off work later than I expected. He sort of jokingly said I should do push ups since I wasted his time and disrespected him and his class. I declined and took a seat. He gave me a look of contempt and said “now that we are done waiting for [ u/quitkarate and sister] we can start class."

They started doing exercises together and I left to run some errands.

I returned to her class about 10 minutes before class let out. I entered the dojo to hear the teacher screaming at my little sister. Everyone is watching. She was crying. I know this girl, and it takes a lot for her to cry. He was yelling commands at her and she was doing them wrong. She gets her left and right mixed up. “C’mon, you know your right from your left!” She was shaking now and her form was bad “You're not even trying” he said. “You know what, you're starting over from square one since you don't even know your right from your left. Why are you crying? Grow up! " He took her belt off and she started sobbing.

I felt so angry for her, I walked over and took my sister's hand and said “We're leaving." He looked surprised but that turned quickly to anger. “My class is not over yet." I told him I didn't care and we left.

My sister sobbed most of the way home. I told her it was OK and I was going to talk to mom about his behavior and that it wasn't OK. “No it's my fault, I don't even know my rights from my Lefts. Even kindergartners know that."

I told her when I get nervous I get my right and my left mixed up all the time. It's a common thing. I told her that her teacher lost his patience and he's not a good teacher. I asked her if mom ever went with her to classes and she said she did. My mother and the teacher are good friends.

When my mom had more time, she'd attend every class. She had a very high belt and was allowed to teach the class. She even went over to his house sometimes for extra classes with other advanced students.

I asked if she liked the class. She was quiet and said no. Mom knows but won't listen. She's afraid of him. Sometimes he throws punches inches from thier faces and yells at them if they flinch saying that is disrespectful. He once grabbed her leg when she through a kick and pulled it above her head. She injured her leg and was limping for a week and couldn't run in gym. Mom said he was trying to motivate her to kick higher because she wasn't trying hard enough. He'd punch them in the stomach, not super hard but enough that it hurt. My sister didn't like it, she said he left a bruise one time when he got angry and hit her too hard. Apparently that was her fault for not flexing her stomach.

I understand that he's trying to teach them that getting hit isn't fun and what to expect if they get into a fight.

He wants his students to learn discipline but my gut tells me he's a bad dude. He's supposed to be building my sis' self esteem not breaking her down. How do I convince my mother of this so my sister doesn't have to attend this awful class?

TL;DR my sister's karate teacher humiliated her in front of the entire class and made her cry. She wants to quit but my mom thinks he's the best guy ever.

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

Gaunab posted:

Improbable Lobster posted:

'pissing tarantula' gets 199,000

scrubs season six posted:

Pissing trump gets 2.1 million.

Mirthless posted:

And he knows she has hangups about masturbating! It's like he's trying to give her a complex.

Gaunab posted:

quote:

My sister didn't like it, she said he left a bruise one time when he got angry and hit her too hard.

quote:

I feel like I'm going insane. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I know it's the old story, but he is perfect in every way. Except when it comes to discussing anything intelligent.
He is so devoted to being right that he ends up denying basic science, logic, and common sense in favor of manipulating information to fit his narrative.

I work in a stem field. He is an artist. This is hard to explain, but I'll do my best. His name is Josh. And he will cling to death to his own ideas despite all evidence showing the contary. Objectively, this is probably pretty petty. We don't have any major problems though, so it's a bit of a big deal to me.

I can think of many examples but I'll list a few here:

He claimed recently that "people from x religion commit many more sex crimes than people of y religion." I said, absolutely not, that's been completely disproven. People from x religion just get a disproportionate amount of media attention. Here, let me show you. I look up the correct number and read it, and he immediately begins claiming that it's "my interpretation" of the statistics, that it's impossible to study, that the science is bad (it isn't, i'm a scientist, I know where to look.) When I really push and don't let him off lightly, it ends up with him claiming that all science is "subject to opinion". But this isn't actually how he feels, if HE is the one that read the recent research, he will fight it to the death. It's only bad science when it's convenient.

He will backtrack on his original argument until he has taken MY original position and claimed that I took HIS original position. This is a very unique psychological transference that I have never seen before. This is a good recent example.

Him: Gene editing will obliterate cancer in 5 years guaranteed.

Me: No way. Clinical trials are in their infancy, this will take at least 20 years if it even turns out to be effective. It's a very strong advance though.

Him: But if they discover it works, they'll definitely fast track it to everyone.

Me: Probably not, there is a lot of money in cancer. This would be a hot button drug. Many companies may be in competition for patents, pharma will set the cost, not demand. When have pharmaceutical companies been that ethical?

Him: Nah, if there was a cure everyone would have it. It's inevitable.

Me: It's definitely inevitable. But it'll be 20 years minimum at least for the current technologies. In [my son]'s lifetime though, I'm sure we will have advanced that far.
We continue arguing. I look it all up for him. I find articles and interviews from the inventors of this specific gene editing technology where they admit it's most likely a miss this time around. They also admit that they are approved for 1 study in the next 5 years. By 10 years, they hope to have approval for additional human trials. By 20 years, they hope to have identified a link between the edited genes and cancer immunity.

Him: Yeah. See? It's inevitable.

Me: Well of course curing cancer is inevitable.

Him: Okay, then we've agreed the whole time, it must have been a miscommunication.

Me: What? You said it was curable, beyond all doubt, in 5 years. That's not what the current scientific consensus is.

Him: Well, I said cancer is a very profitable industry. Big pharma isn't just going to let this cure out for free. It'll probably be prohibitively costly and take much longer to roll out than it should.

Me: Wait what? Yeah...that's what I just explained to you. You said that wasn't true...you said it would be 5 years guaranteed.

Him: Well, we can both agree it'll get there inevitably. I don't know where our communication lines got crossed but it's clear that we are both right about this.

Okay. I was going to give more examples, but I honestly think the above will suffice. And that's pretty much verbatim. The other thing that will happen is he'll claim some myth to be true, I'll be like "oh actually that's a myth", he doesn't believe me, I look it up to prove it, read him the correct version with proof, and he'll immediately deflect to "Babe is something wrong? I'm worried about you. You're taking this so seriously" basically ascribing some weird poo poo to me when I just read the truth aloud? BTW, this isn't just me. He frequently looks up poo poo that I'm wrong about and reads it aloud no problem. The difference is that I accept I was wrong lol.

It almost feels like gaslighting? How he'll either strawman argument me, or claim that MY original position was his own and his was mine once proven wrong (wtf, is there a name for that?). I just really don't get this behavior? Can somebody please explain it to me? He has no idea he does it, I've brought it up many times.

tl;dr: Bf's crippling inability to be wrong is starting to feel a lot like gaslighting.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me f(26), things are great with my boyfriend m(31). Unless we talk politics, economics, art, science, math...he denies basic science in favor of being right. Help?

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me f(26), things are great with my boyfriend m(31). Unless we talk politics, economics, art, science, math...he denies basic science in favor of being right. Help?

Gaunab posted:

When my mom had more time, she'd attend every class. She had a very high belt and was allowed to teach the class. She even went over to his house sometimes for extra classes with other advanced students.

quote:

My girlfriend's [21F] weight and self control around food have seemed to go out the door and I [22M] don't know what to do.

I met her halfway through my sophomore year at college and we seemed to just hit it off great. She just seemed to be that person that you somehow just click with on everything it was awesome.

Within a couple weeks we finally started dating. somehow this point I could tell that her weight was challenge for her as she already weighed about 200lbs or so. But I chose to ignore it and just was kind of falling quickly for the person she was. And I dont mind a little extra weight. So I decided it was fine.

I just didn't expect or at least I hoped she didn't gain more weight. But she did. Over the rest of the school year I noticed just how poor her diet was. She had this group of friends that she was always seem to be grabbing fast food with out at one of their dorms eating a bunch of desert or unhealthy food. I also noticed with me that it always seemed to cheer her up if I offered we go on a dinner date or grab any fast food.

Within the rest of the year and summer she had gained about 30lbs. I didn't want to talk about it with her hoping 30lbs was it. But then next year started and it was the same. If anything I just feel like she want eating more. She always had a snack or something in her purse with her Or was always needing to eat.

Eventually she hit about 250lbs and I remember because she was starting to tuck her belly fat into her pants...

I eventually sat down with her and told her her weight was unhealthy. That it was affecting her health and our relationship. And I just wanted what was best for her. She nodded and told me she understood and would try.

Over the next couple months I noticed no change. She just seems to have no self control around food. She craves it whenever she doesn't have it and she eats even when she's not hungry. I remember one day shortly after this we went out to eat at a buffet she insisted on and proceeded to eat several full plates and still had room for ice cream.

When we get out to the car it took no longer than 10 minutes for her to absentmindedly crack open a bag of potatoe chips from her purse. We then went to a party that evening where somehow she was able to eat a burger several pieces of cake and was drinking egg nog most of the night.

She's gotten so jiggly and I'm finding it difficult to get a boner. Her whole body is full of rolls instead of her being the time of oerso who's extra weight just hangs off of her like just having a big hanging belly it makes her entire body roll up. Like she has multiple down her back, her belly is in 3 rolls when she sits down and her thighs are really dimply.

What can I do for my girlfriend.

Tldr- started dating a girl who was overweight but looked past it cause I was seriously falling for her. Turns out she is seriously addicted to food and has gained all the way up to 250lbs. When I talked to her she said she understood and would try to lose but nothing has changed and has lost any self control when it comes to food. Any advice.

quote:

I want to avoid breaking the law. I follow the law to the letter- no alcohol while driving, no speeding, no drugs, no pirating media. This annoys the gently caress out of him. He seems to think that you can't have fun while obeying the law. I've told him that he's welcome to do whatever- but that he shouldn't make me a party to it.

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

Me f(26), things are great with my boyfriend m(31). Unless we talk politics, economics, art, science, math...he denies basic science in favor of being right. Help?

Moridin920 posted:

This pissed me off too like gently caress bro what are you trying to do here exactly???

Sisal Two-Step posted:

murder.

Pick posted:

lurkers: why the gently caress does this thread in particular seem to be filled with people with an exceptional depth of knowledge about spiders

quote:

Me [30F] with my BF [34 M] 1 year, should his history of dating promiscuous women be of concern to me?

My boyfriend is a kind man. In his own way, he tries to make me happy and satisfy me. He claims that he's looking for a wife from almost day one, and we've been together for one year.

I'm an Ivy League-educated lawyer with two Master's degree, and a great career. I also volunteer and do charity at developing countries outside of work.

Recently I found out that almost all of my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends are, for lack of better words, sluts. The girl he dated immediately before we start dating was a college freshman, who kept sending him nudes 8 months into our relationship, even though she also had a boyfriend at that time. He had written her love letters saying she's "the one", that they are "meant to be", and that she's "wife-material". When I asked him to come clean, he told me about a couple other ex-girlfriends before her, they are all the same slutty type, barely even went to school.

I mean, if you are a 34 man, serious about looking for a wife and start a family, would you really be with a college freshman and write her love letters??? Or date someone who sends nudes of herself rubbing her thigh on ANOTHER man???

It makes me question his sincerity when he tells me he wants commitment. After all, he was just with those women not long ago, and I don't think a man would see those women and think "yea, I can marry her", more like "yea, I can get laid" type.

Or, he might be very sincere when he said he thought they are "wife material". In which case, it makes me question his judgment....

What's your take on this? Am I overthinking? Do you think a man's history (up to a month of being with me, so we are NOT taking about what he did in his 20s) of dating sluts should be of concern to me?

tl;dr: My boyfriend's ex-girlfriends (whom he was with up until one month before we started dating) are the type that doesn't know about climate change but can name all the Kardashians. They are also promiscuous. It made me question my boyfriend's claim that he's "looking for a wife", his sincerity and judgment. What's your take on this?

EDIT: I don't know why everyone is so emotionally charged. This is really not that complicated.

Let me put it this way: Imagine your SO has always told you that he/she really loves fat people, really really attracted to fat people, and that he/she is sure he/she is going to marry a fat person. Then you found that all his/her ex-es are super skinny!! Not just the ex from a long time ago, but the ex he/she was dating right before you.

NOW, the question is: Would this revelation make you question his/her claim that he/she really loves fat people?

quote:

I'm an Ivy League-educated lawyer with two Master's degree, and a great career. I also volunteer and do charity at developing countries outside of work.

MF_James posted:

This has a bearing on the conversation, why? She's probably an insufferable bitch. Not that him getting nudes from his ex is OK or something, but yeah I'm sure she's a treat to be around.

Gaunab posted:

quote:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5obmfi/my_son_4_months_was_named_after_my_brotherinlaw/

TL;DR: My younger sister [30F] is very annoyed that I don't refer to my son by his first name (also the name of her husband). I instead refer to him by his middle name. She thinks that I am being disrespectful by doing so.

Waterbed Wendy posted:

What a loon.

The thing she should be mad about, that the guy was receiving nudes 8 months into their relationship, she seems to not care about. It's the fact that his exes are "slutty" that gives her pause.

If you can't handle your current partner's past then go for virgins. There are tons of incels she could pick and they seem to really hate "sluts" just like she does.

Moridin920 posted:

Like where do these people come from. If that was my sister I'd tell her she was being stupid as gently caress and to stfu bc I can call my kid whatever I drat well please and to try and police that is disrespect on her part. Period.

Probably a bit more diplomatically but that'd be the gist of it.

Mirthless posted:

it's... a little weird to name your kid after your brother out of respect and then use their middle name to refer to them, like, why not just make your brother's name the middle name?

i mean absolutely you're right but at the same time lol it's gotta feel pretty lovely to hear somebody named their kid after you but then that's not really their name

it's just a bruised ego and it's not like the name isn't going to be on every piece of official documentation he has forever unless he gets his name legally changed and he's probably not going to care that much