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Ewan
Sep 29, 2008

Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

Lord of the Llamas posted:

I misread this post the first time.
Both interpretations are true, as I don't think he's getting any from his wife

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/12/16/sarah-vine-daily-mail-michael-gove-sex-life_n_8815952.html

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Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

Tories are way ahead in polls atm, so she is doing it to increase her mps, reducing opposition to the Tory Hellscape 2020 plan

Lord of the Llamas
Jul 9, 2002

EULER'VE TO SEE IT VENN SOMEONE CALLS IT THE WRONG THING AND PROVOKES MY WRATH

Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

Pretty hard for the SNP to gain any more ground and the Tories clearly don't give a poo poo about NI.

I don't think that May will win anywhere near as large a majority as lots of people are predicting but the big win for her is having a load of terrible manifesto pledges to beat her backbenchers and the lords around with.

Grouchio
Aug 31, 2014

Lord of the Llamas posted:

Pretty hard for the SNP to gain any more ground and the Tories clearly don't give a poo poo about NI.
Edward Carson and Ian Paisley are both spinning in their graves.

Pissflaps
Oct 20, 2002

by VideoGames

Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

The SNP are unlikely to gain ground and far more likely to lose seats.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

The SNP won all but 3 of the seats in Scotland. Got 49.97% of the vote. Only way from there is downhill. They won't do better.

And what she wants to achieve is going from a PM with no electoral mandate and a very slim working majority of 17 to one with a mandate, an increased majority, and an ability to push Brexit through the Lords without them putting the brakes on.

For example, this early averaging of opinion polls from Sky News

https://twitter.com/GerryHassan/status/854331498849349634

Incidentally, this would be the worst Labour result since 1935. And that year Labour increased their number of MPs by 102!

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

Because they were about to face down 20-30 by-elections due to the election expense scandal that would likely be won by the Lib Dems

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Grouchio posted:

Can someone tell me why Theresa May is doing this? What do these snap elections hope to achieve? If Sinn Fein and the SNP gain more ground as a result of these snap elections, can we start to expect a referendum on both Scotland and Northern Ireland leaving the UK?

The tories would otherwise possibly be about to lose their majority altogether due to election scandals from the last GE and this sidesteps that

Doctor_Fruitbat
Jun 2, 2013


June 8th is the middle of exam season too, so expect the young person vote to be even lower than usual.

Pochoclo
Feb 4, 2008

No...
Clapping Larry

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

June 8th is the middle of exam season too, so expect the young person vote to be even lower than usual.

70% Tory majority, calling it now

Prepare for victorian hellscape v2.0, this time with kids tweeting selfies in the iphone assembly lines as UK labor becomes cheaper than chinese

Jippa
Feb 13, 2009

Totally agree with brenda.

Kokoro Wish
Jul 23, 2007

Post? What post? Oh wow.
I had nothing to do with THAT.

Pochoclo posted:

70% Tory majority, calling it now

Prepare for victorian hellscape v2.0, this time with kids tweeting selfies in the iphone assembly lines as UK labor becomes cheaper than chinese

CIA backed assassination of Corbyn and the drone bombing of the Ecuadorian embassy 2018.

TomViolence
Feb 19, 2013

PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Kokoro Wish posted:

CIA backed assassination of Corbyn and the drone bombing of the Ecuadorian embassy 2018.

They'd only kill Corbyn if he actually got in power though, so this sounds fairly optimistic all in all.

GaussianCopula
Jun 5, 2011
Jews fleeing the Holocaust are not in any way comparable to North Africans, who don't flee genocide but want to enjoy the social welfare systems of Northern Europe.

Kokoro Wish posted:

CIA backed assassination of Corbyn and the drone bombing of the Ecuadorian embassy 2018.

Why would anyone on the right want to assassinate Corbyn, who is doing everything he can to keep them in power?

Miftan
Mar 31, 2012

Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

TomViolence posted:

They'd only kill Corbyn if he actually got in power though, so this sounds fairly optimistic all in all.

Maybe they'd just arm and train nigel farage

GaussianCopula posted:

Why would anyone on the right want to assassinate Corbyn, who is doing everything he can to keep them in power?
You're a nazi, gently caress off.

Ewan
Sep 29, 2008

Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD
I feel watching V for Vendetta last night for the first time was actually quite timely.

Also, election is smack in the middle of Ramadan and exam season.

WeAreTheRomans
Feb 23, 2010

by R. Guyovich
UKMT Theresa May 2017: aw fuk, i cant believe you've done this


e: is there some sort of proscription against voting during Ramadan? Honestly curious if there's an actual impediment there.

Kokoro Wish
Jul 23, 2007

Post? What post? Oh wow.
I had nothing to do with THAT.

Miftan posted:

Maybe they'd just arm and train Britain First.

You're a nazi, gently caress off.

TomViolence
Feb 19, 2013

PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Ewan posted:

I feel watching V for Vendetta last night for the first time was actually quite timely.

Also, election is smack in the middle of Ramadan and exam season.

Follow it up with Children of Men, the most eerily prophetic movie of the past 20 years.

DesperateDan
Dec 10, 2005

Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

Guavanaut posted:

You can however bind the master's tools and wait for the house to collapse itself.

If you can figure a way to bind up the tabloids and bot/troll farms without resorting to the useful, direct kind of methods that would have gchq very interested in my posting, please share :(

ewe2
Jul 1, 2009

Mike Swanton and the Leaflet of Doom

https://twitter.com/schafersam/status/854273096806739968

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

June 8th is the middle of exam season too, so expect the young person vote to be even lower than usual.

Also during Ramadan.

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

GaussianCopula posted:

Why would anyone on the right want to assassinate Corbyn, who is doing everything he can to keep them in power?

Get the gently caress out, nazi.

Ora Tzo
Feb 26, 2016

HEEEERES TONYYYY
Didn't some Conservatives float the idea of privatizing your police a while back?
All aboard the dystopian testing ground thats the formerly United Kingdom.

WeAreTheRomans
Feb 23, 2010

by R. Guyovich

I agree with the leaflet, young people who vote Tory should be fired into the sun

TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.
https://twitter.com/politico_daily/status/854342978894274560

TomViolence
Feb 19, 2013

PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Ora Tzo posted:

Didn't some Conservatives float the idea of privatizing your police a while back?
All aboard the dystopian testing ground thats the formerly United Kingdom.

If I recall correctly there's already private security companies filling in community polcing duties in some well-to-do places in the country and Serco pretty much runs our concentration campsimmigration detention centres.

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one

Skinty McEdger posted:

So is Corbyn a traitor then?

No, he's just poo poo.

Zephro
Nov 23, 2000

I suppose I could part with one and still be feared...
Sigh. I'm going to have to vote Lib Dem because at this point I am a single-issue Buck Frexit voter.

sout
Apr 24, 2014

Election is in exam season to stress out liberal students so they fail their exams and die of lack of university education or something.

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

But Theresa May is such a competent and charismatic powerhouse in PMQs! I'm surprised at this turn of events!

communism bitch
Apr 24, 2009

Zephro posted:

Sigh. I'm going to have to vote Lib Dem

don't be a twat

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006


Hardly surprising. May is loving dreadful at debates.

TomViolence
Feb 19, 2013

PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

Great, debates are the one forum where Corbyn actually gets to talk about policy uninterrupted and unmediated and generally acquits himself well so of course there won't loving be one.

Could they stack the loving deck anymore in their favour the cunts.

spectralent
Oct 1, 2014

Me and the boys poppin' down to the shops

TheRat posted:

Why the gently caress would that make both sides look shambolic?

Because the mechanism for "forcing it through" is a motion of no confidence in government. A press that did it's job would be going "So, let's be honest, here, you're doing that to circumvent legally binding powers on the control of general elections your own party agreed to. Why do you think the erosion of due electoral process is good?". This should be getting portrayed about the same as Turkey's recent referendum, which has been noted in the press as being a shambles that proves Turkey's not a proper democracy, but will be here presented as good, because "perhaps the truth is in the middle".

Playstation 4 posted:

As a Canuck, you could always hope for a surreal repeat of Alberta 2015.

Don't know how possible a crazy swing and hilarious outcome like that is though.

This is probably the best possible outcome but it'd need to be relying on young people turning out, and even if Corbyn was likely to motivate them that was before he went around pissing them all off post-brexit.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
the rest of the leaders should have one and just say May is too scared to get on stage with them

Ora Tzo
Feb 26, 2016

HEEEERES TONYYYY

TomViolence posted:

If I recall correctly there's already private security companies filling in community polcing duties in some well-to-do places in the country and Serco pretty much runs our concentration campsimmigration detention centres.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/mar/02/police-privatisation-security-firms-crime
https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2012/jun/20/g4s-chief-mass-police-privatisation
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-34864781

G4S shall become the dispensers of the law.

TheRat
Aug 30, 2006

Zephro posted:

Sigh. I'm going to have to vote Lib Dem because at this point I am a single-issue Buck Frexit voter.

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/854285149063716864

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


sout posted:

Election is in exam season to stress out liberal students so they fail their exams and die of lack of university education or something.

Ahhh, so there's a positive to all of this then


Probably smart. But the broadcasters should just hold them anyway and the old Tube of Lard from HIGNFY as a stand in for May if she's too chicken.

Zephro posted:

Sigh. I'm going to have to vote Lib Dem because at this point I am a single-issue Buck Frexit voter.

Don't blame us when you end up feeling betrayed, let down, disappointed and ultimately ashamed of yourself for voting for a party lead by someone anti-abortion & anti-gay equality.

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TinTower
Apr 21, 2010

You don't have to 8e a good person to 8e a hero.

Jose posted:

the rest of the leaders should have one and just say May is too scared to get on stage with them

This was their threat in 2015.

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