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Psycho Society
Oct 21, 2010

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

To Service Man

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Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016
Ethnicity: Asian
Rate rear end: See above

Brain Curry
Feb 15, 2007

People think that I'm lazy
People think that I'm this fool because
I give a fuck about the government
I didn't graduate from high school



Space Taxi posted:

Ethnicity: Asian
Rate rear end: See above

Thanks, I just learned what a paag is.

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

Brain Curry posted:

Thanks, I just learned what a paag is.

A woman from Boston with a big rear end?

El Estrago Bonito
Dec 17, 2010

Scout Finch Bitch

Ups_rail posted:

one time I went and got a thai massage from a place that basically said "WE DONT DO SHADY poo poo WE ARE LEGIT ETC" honestly I felt good after, Then I went back the second time and yeah the lady was bad and she did this weird move in attempt to arouse me, I know it sounds goony and stupid but I think she wanted to do the A+ service to make up for her lovely technique.

So what happens when a woman stumbles into a rub and tug? do they just fake a lovely massage or do they kinda....go for it?

So as I have mentioned in a previous thread I worked at one of these shady massage parlor places for a while right after HS. The dude who ran it was this chubby Chinese immigrant who was part of some kind of sex cult run by a shady guru. I'm 99% sure he hired me just to have a white person at the front desk to look more legitimate. I can't actually say that it was a brothel, but I explicitly wasn't allowed into the back area for "legal reasons", they hired a janitor who was payed under the table and was certainly illegal, and there was some fairly shady feeling stuff with how payments and salaries were dispensed. Also two of the people who worked there also worked as strippers, which doesn't seem like a thing that would occur at a legitimate massage place. He then later gave the real estate to some family members, sold all his worldly possessions and moved somewhere to join the other members of his weirdo cult (I want to say Hawaii or Guam but I don't remember). And because sometimes stereotypes are true, it's now a laundromat.

It was a pretty great job, I got to sit at a desk, take money occasionally and mostly just read the internet, play games on my laptop and do my homework for college. Several of the repeat clients were very butch lesbian women, several others were cops, I always kind of wondered if they were spending some kind of government allocated massage pay (this does exist in my city for first responders and dispatchers) on tug jobs but I never got a confirmation on that.

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012

El Estrago Bonito posted:

So as I have mentioned in a previous thread I worked at one of these shady massage parlor places for a while right after HS. The dude who ran it was this chubby Chinese immigrant who was part of some kind of sex cult run by a shady guru. I'm 99% sure he hired me just to have a white person at the front desk to look more legitimate. I can't actually say that it was a brothel, but I explicitly wasn't allowed into the back area for "legal reasons", they hired a janitor who was payed under the table and was certainly illegal, and there was some fairly shady feeling stuff with how payments and salaries were dispensed. Also two of the people who worked there also worked as strippers, which doesn't seem like a thing that would occur at a legitimate massage place. He then later gave the real estate to some family members, sold all his worldly possessions and moved somewhere to join the other members of his weirdo cult (I want to say Hawaii or Guam but I don't remember). And because sometimes stereotypes are true, it's now a laundromat.

It was a pretty great job, I got to sit at a desk, take money occasionally and mostly just read the internet, play games on my laptop and do my homework for college. Several of the repeat clients were very butch lesbian women, several others were cops, I always kind of wondered if they were spending some kind of government allocated massage pay (this does exist in my city for first responders and dispatchers) on tug jobs but I never got a confirmation on that.

Need more details on sex cult and direct billing please

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
I love getting jacked off by a fifty year old Vietnamese woman with a lazy eye

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Id likr a rub n tug but id want the rub to be as legit as the tug

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
rear end-Play ?

Space Taxi
Oct 31, 2016
Polo with donkeys

myDad
Jan 20, 2010

ce n'est pas ma mère
College Slice

Isaac posted:

Id likr a rub n tug but id want the rub to be as legit as the tug

That seems to be the consensus

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

Isaac posted:

Id likr a rub n tug but id want the rub to be as legit as the tug

Therein lies the rub

Gay Weed Dad
Jul 12, 2016

cool dude, flyin' high
Like everything else in this world I am only $100 away from true happiness.

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
All about that BBBJTCNQNS

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

down n out posted:

All about that BBBJTCNQNS

Isn't this what a gf is for?

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost
That's why they call it the girlfriend experience

Waltzing Along
Jun 14, 2008

There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
:eyepop:

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

down n out posted:

That's why they call it the girlfriend experience

You can't get the experience of going down on a harry korean slave woman who's taken 60 cocks in the last 24 hours with your girlfriend.

Jake Mustache
Feb 7, 2017
Can you do a search for all locations within 10 miles of the zip code 33067? Asking for a friend.

down n out
Sep 16, 2008

Nap Ghost

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

You can't get the experience of going down on a harry korean slave woman who's taken 60 cocks in the last 24 hours with your girlfriend.

With that much experience it's like getting powerleveled by one of your max lvl buddies in Diablo.

Also, that's my fetish.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

You can't get the experience of going down on a harry korean slave woman who's taken 60 cocks in the last 24 hours with your girlfriend.

Well. Depends on the girlfriend.

Amarcarts
Feb 21, 2007

This looks a lot like suffering.
Semi-Truck Parking: No

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie

Dreddout posted:

I love getting jacked off by a fifty year old Vietnamese woman with a lazy eye

A mother's love knows no bounds.

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

barf barf i am a dog, barf on your carpet, barf
drat fine thread idea, OP
Bookmarked :q:

Gay Hitler
Dec 11, 2006

I'm gay as heil!

Please tell me what's going on with "beyond 2005" in Sarasota Florida

E: Sarasota Florida is like the Asian massage parlor capital of the world but none of the others come close to looking as sketchy and delapidated. Also the front door is always open

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Gay Hitler posted:

Please tell me what's going on with "beyond 2005" in Sarasota Florida

E: Sarasota Florida is like the Asian massage parlor capital of the world but none of the others come close to looking as sketchy and delapidated. Also the front door is always open

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

Jake Mustache posted:

Can you do a search for all locations within 10 miles of the zip code 33067? Asking for a friend.

Return Of JimmyJars
Jun 24, 2006

by FactsAreUseless

maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004
i'm mainly interested in what all these crazy acronyms mean.

Ex: does "Blowjob: CBJ" == "condom blow job" because who the gently caress would pay for that? Is that a thing?

Also the fact that "lick the pussy" has it's own check or x category is insanely creepy, since I'm guessing these guys aren't using the service to filter out places that indulge such terrible ideas.

Gay Hitler
Dec 11, 2006

I'm gay as heil!

thank you for resolving a mystery that has been the topic of conversation between my coworkers for years

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005
I FUCKING HATE POOR PEOPLE BUT I LOVE BEING FUCKED IN THE ASS and having two dishwashers in my CONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

maskenfreiheit posted:

i'm mainly interested in what all these crazy acronyms mean.

Ex: does "Blowjob: CBJ" == "condom blow job" because who the gently caress would pay for that? Is that a thing?

Also the fact that "lick the pussy" has it's own check or x category is insanely creepy, since I'm guessing these guys aren't using the service to filter out places that indulge such terrible ideas.

Think about the kind of men that frequent these places, would you want to put their dick in your mouth without a condom?

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---

maskenfreiheit posted:

i'm mainly interested in what all these crazy acronyms mean.

Ex: does "Blowjob: CBJ" == "condom blow job" because who the gently caress would pay for that? Is that a thing?

Also the fact that "lick the pussy" has it's own check or x category is insanely creepy, since I'm guessing these guys aren't using the service to filter out places that indulge such terrible ideas.

I was wondering the same thing. What is BBBJ?

Gay Hitler
Dec 11, 2006

I'm gay as heil!

also those hours are bullshit because that open sign never turns off

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

Return Of JimmyJars posted:


lol at going down on an unshaven hooker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF2Hli6oKeA&t=60s

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010

maskenfreiheit posted:

i'm mainly interested in what all these crazy acronyms mean.

Ex: does "Blowjob: CBJ" == "condom blow job" because who the gently caress would pay for that? Is that a thing?

Also the fact that "lick the pussy" has it's own check or x category is insanely creepy, since I'm guessing these guys aren't using the service to filter out places that indulge such terrible ideas.

there's no accounting for taste

Three Olives
Apr 10, 2005
I FUCKING HATE POOR PEOPLE BUT I LOVE BEING FUCKED IN THE ASS and having two dishwashers in my CONDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shut up blegum posted:

I was wondering the same thing. What is BBBJ?

Bareback Blow Job?

Do straight people say bareback?

Three Olives fucked around with this message at 18:15 on May 4, 2017

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

BahBi Blow Job

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Three Olives posted:

Bareback Blow Job?

Do straight people say bareback?

That's it I'm pretty sure. And only used in the context of prostitutes. Because GFs and women you pick up in a bar just do or don't do bjs without asking for your input.

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ProfessorMurder
Aug 27, 2003

I can wet the bed in the shape of Abraham Lincoln

Three Olives posted:

Bareback Blow Job?

Do straight people say bareback?

Yea, I don't think it's just a gay thing. Bareback just means without a condom.

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