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joke_explainer


gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:

If you don't have a stand mixer, then get that first cuz it's way more important than whatevrr

one of my life goals is to witness the death of my kitchenaid mixer, but I'm pretty certain it will outlive me even if I live to be 100

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3D Megadoodoo

poverty goat posted:

everything about it is revolting and i dont believe that anyone who could conceive of that abomination could ever assemble it except as a joke

The bread look ok.





Robot Made of Meat

joke_explainer posted:

one of my life goals is to witness the death of my kitchenaid mixer, but I'm pretty certain it will outlive me even if I live to be 100

My KitchenAid is blue and it is eternal. All hail the KitchenAid!


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

joke_explainer


Robot Made of Meat posted:

My KitchenAid is blue and it is eternal. All hail the KitchenAid!

cobalt blue is the chosen color, and I deeply respect those that share that kind of discerning taste in kitchenaid stand mixers.

i'm making bolognese sauce with the pressure cooker. if it turns out good I'll detail it. it's from the serious eats recipe, like everything I ever do.

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/11/pressure-cooker-ragu-bolognese-food-lab.html

Robot Made of Meat

joke_explainer posted:

cobalt blue is the chosen color, and I deeply respect those that share that kind of discerning taste in kitchenaid stand mixers.

i'm making bolognese sauce with the pressure cooker. if it turns out good I'll detail it. it's from the serious eats recipe, like everything I ever do.

http://www.seriouseats.com/2015/11/pressure-cooker-ragu-bolognese-food-lab.html

I eagerly await the results of this experiment.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

joke_explainer


It ended up pretty good. The journey started like a week and a half ago, when I roasted a chicken. That turned out fine. Here is a photo of the chicken.



Anyway, I cut all the meat away form the bones and kept them and made stock out of them. Today I decided I wanted to use a cup of that stock to make some pasta sauce, even though it's kind of unseasonably warm for such a heavy warm meal. Oh well.

First you get together these things, plus some more off screen:



Essentially what you are making is just a very meat heavy sauce. There is tomato in it, but not a ton. The majority of it is meat and veggies. Chicken stock, wine, and cream also factor into it.

The wine is vieux papes, aka the cheapest dry red wine you can buy at whole foods.

For this run I used 2 lbs of beef chuck and 1 lb of pork shoulder, ground and chicken livers. But you can do 1 lb lamb, 1 lb pork, and 1 lb beef and it's even better if they happened to have ground lamb at the store. Also, I used a half pound of bacon. Normally you'd use pancetta but pancetta was like 22$ a pound at the store, which is crazy even for pancetta, so I just got like 5$ worth of bacon instead.

So first you chop everything up pretty finely. I'm not the best in the world at this but it ended up okay.





So I'm using the Breville Fast Slow Pro, which simplifies things a lot. I hit the 'saute' button and put it on high, then throw the cubed bacon in once the oil is simmering. Let that crisp up, then add the herbs and the onions, saving some of the parsley and the basil tho. I wish I saved more parsley, I ran out - the final product would have looked a lot nicer with a little sprinkling of fresh parsley on it.



About 12 minutes of the veggies and the minced chicken livers go in. They cook for about 5, then the rest of the meats. Then it's like 25 minutes letting the liquid cook off. You want to just concentrate / remove that liquid until it's really low and the meat is sizzling.



Then you add your wine, let that cook down a bit, then add your chicken stock and cream and bay leaves.



Looks boring! But yeah, then you seal the pressure cooker and set it for 30 minutes at high pressure. Getting up to pressure and releasing it means that whole thing will be about 1 hr, but the electric pressure cooker manages the whole thing so you don't really have to worry about it. I love this thing.



The sauce right out of the pressure cooker. Now I hit the 'reduce' button and set it to medium heat and wait about another 45 minutes while it bubbles away, obviously lid open now. This cooks down and concentrates the sauce. Basically, we've condensed what would take six hours of cook time down to 2 hours total with the pressure cooker. Add the basil and more parsley.

Once it's sufficiently thickened, add parmesan, fish sauce if you aren't alnilam (he wouldn't be eating a meat sauce anyway!), and another 1/2 cup of cream.



(I added way more parmesan than that, but I forgot to take a photo of the huge mound of pretty grated parmesan sinking into the pot)

It gets all nice and emulsified into a real thick sauce. Cook some (I used fettuccini because it's what I had on hand) noodles and sauce them with the noodles in the pan and like 1/3rd cup of sauce and a little water from cooking the pasta. Sprinkle with parsley so your dish is prettier than mine and add fresh parmesan on top.



It's very tasty. And I have 1.5 quarts left over in the freezer now, which is enough to make lasagna bolognese later.

POOL IS CLOSED

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.
that looks real tasty, joke_explainer! i'm used to more tomato in my bolognese, but i'll have to give this a shot in a conventional pressure cooker.


brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

joke_explainer


POOL IS CLOSED posted:

that looks real tasty, joke_explainer! i'm used to more tomato in my bolognese, but i'll have to give this a shot in a conventional pressure cooker.

Oh i forgot there's one can of crushed tomatoes in there too. 14 ounce before it pressure cooks!

Robot Made of Meat

Is lovely! I'll have to keep this in mind for cooler weather.

Thanks!


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

FutonForensic

I have a big rear end + big ol' rear end of sesame seeds i bought in desparation from a farmer's market, what do I do with like 2lbs of sesame seeds

i was thinking sesame bread

and sesame chicken


Subjunctive

✨sparkle and shine✨

tahini?

Robot Made of Meat

I would eat them in embarrassing quantities, and then regret it.


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

Manifisto


I have only had black sesame ice cream, which is amazing, but there are recipes for non-black sesame seed ice cream as well, I bet it's good too

halvah is great too, I think you start by making tahini but that's not so bad--make extra and you have tahini as well as halvah!


ty nesamdoom!

poverty goat



i made szechuan chicken and as usual im just gonna post an ugly photo of it not plated or anything



it was spicy and delicious!

the unabonger
all I've been making lately has been karaage or katsu, I'm on a roll

fuck. marry. t-rex

all ive been making lately is moves and all ive been tasting is success



fuck. marry. t-rex

Recipe: lean

1 can of sprite
1 bottle of tussin



the unabonger

gently caress. marry. t-rex posted:

all ive been making lately is moves and all ive been tasting is success

poverty goat



I was given the book 660 Curries a while back and it's been great. I made a heretical beef vindaloo tonight and it was fiery and delicious and I even took more than 1 photo!!


The recipe called for pearl onions so I indulged just this once but next time it's getting a regular rear end onion. 15 huge cloves of garlic and 18 peppers thats how you know poo poo is real. well that and the fact that i broke out my good bukkake bowls for the photo op!

Not pictured is the beef looking all pooped-on in a marinade of malt vinegar, turmeric and cayenne pepper

I did this:


Then this happened:


I can feel the heat in my toes

A+ would cook again

bird.

I;m making baguettes for the first time and holy poo poo I did not realize how many times and for how long the dough had to rise, but it is so far very fun will post pics when im done

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


POOL IS CLOSED posted:

you can't just show this and not divulge the recipe :qq:

standard commercial toll house type recipe, swap in browned butter chilled back to solid form in equal amounts, double the salt and replace with flaky; sprinkle a little salt on top. it would also not be amiss to add a bit of malt powder (malted milk is fine here) to the dry ingredients when you sift.

to get perfect circular cookies, roll your dough into a log, chill and slice. bake from chilled at 350F until they are the desired color and consistency; it's best to use an ungreased aluminum or light nonstick baking sheet.


Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

Estate sales, people. Estate sales. I cannot recommend them enough for things like $20 copper saucepans.



Manifisto


Bo-Pepper posted:

Estate sales, people. Estate sales. I cannot recommend them enough for things like $20 copper saucepans.





:eyepop:

also nice end grain cutting board

Randy Travesty

PHANTOM QUEEN


Bo-Pepper posted:

Estate sales, people. Estate sales. I cannot recommend them enough for things like $20 copper saucepans.





yesssss. YESSSSSSSS. you did well, bo-pep. drat. now i wanna go out to the estate sales today to come home with an assload of pickle crocks, though. i'm in a pickle phase.


POOL IS CLOSED

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.

Eugene V. Dabs posted:

yesssss. YESSSSSSSS. you did well, bo-pep. drat. now i wanna go out to the estate sales today to come home with an assload of pickle crocks, though. i'm in a pickle phase.

same. also found that the local little hardware store is selling ohio stoneware crocks at a sane price... amazing

my wheat bean nukadoko is starting out strong. it smells deliciously of toast and sourdough. needs more ginger though.


brought 2 u by Manifisto, mastercraftsposter of sigs

Starman Super DX

This title text is surprisingly sturdy.
hello all! I also love food, but I am also very picky (not the "I only eat oreos, cheesedoodles and pizza" millennial picky, the "I don't eat a lot of things normal people eat and I'm giving more a chance" picky) so generally what I make isn't super fascinating. However, after I suggested posting this, my GF insisted that I share her recipe for a lighter kind of pizza since she loves it so much. We like doing little pizzas from time to time. I have the basic cheese and pepperoni but she likes this crazy thing that's not my favorite but I think other people can appreciate. We normally just buy the premade crust and follow the instructions since it's easy, although next time I was thinking of using real dough. If anyone has any suggestions on that I would be more than happy to listen.

Anyway, this is the recipe/list of toppings, I think she found it in a women's fitness magazine awhile back:

No sauce
Cheese (we just used mozzarella like normal)
Turkey or chicken sausage (we usually use chicken apple)
Walnuts

And after cooking:
Maple syrup
Baby spinach

I also like to brush the pizza stones with oil and granulated garlic before hand so they coat the bottoms of the crusts in delicious little black specks of roasted garlic goodness.

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

Manifisto


I think I may have posted my go-to pizza dough and sauce recipe itt, when I have a chance I'll look for it

Manifisto


yee

Manifisto posted:

New York Style Pizza Dough

This recipe makes two 12” to 13” pizzas.

Ingredients for Dough

• 393g flour (=13.9 oz) (King Arthur Bread Flour preferred)
• 248g water (=8.8 oz) (water should be slightly above room temperature)
• ½ tsp Instant Dry Yeast (IDY) (but plain ol' baking yeast works just fine in my experience)
• 1.5 tsp salt (Morton’s Kosher or sea salt – use only 1 tsp if using table salt)
• 1 Tbsp olive oil (or less, I sometimes use a scant Tablespoon or 2 tsp)

Directions

Ideally, let flour come to room temperature before mixing. Measure flour by weight and optionally sift after measuring.

1. Using a whisk, blend sifted flour and instant dry yeast in a bowl.
2. Place water in a separate large bowl, add salt, and stir to dissolve salt.
3. Add flour mixture to water and stir until just mixed.
4. Add olive oil and mix thoroughly.
5. Knead dough by hand until smooth and elastic, about 8-10 minutes. If dough is very sticky, add a small amount of additional bread flour during kneading. They say it should be the texture of an earlobe, which is a little creepy but a useful gauge.
6. Divide dough into two equal halves. Knead each half lightly and form into a ball.
7. Lightly oil two containers for dough. Place one ball into each container and turn to coat ball with oil. Cover containers (e.g. with plastic wrap) and refrigerate for 1-2 days. (Dough can be used up to day 3 or 4. To keep dough longer, freeze after refrigerating 1-2 days.).
8. 2-3 hours before baking pizza, take desired number of dough balls out of refrigerator and let sit covered at room temperature. (Note that dough balls will continue to rise during this period.)
9. One hour before baking pizza, place pizza stone on lowest rack of cold oven and preheat at 550 degrees for one hour.

Tips for Assembling Pizzas

• Stretch each dough ball to 12” - 13” round, then place on baking parchment for easy handling. Dough should be handled gently while stretching. Do not pinch the outer ½” of crust.
• Brush or spray the top of each pizza round lightly with olive oil to prevent fillings from soaking into dough.
• Top dough lightly with desired sauce and toppings. Vegetable toppings (e.g. broccoli) should be cooked or par-cooked before baking pizza.
• Use a pizza peel or baking sheet to slide topped pizza (and parchment) onto preheated stone.
• Bake pizzas at 550 degrees for 7-9 minutes (or desired degree of doneness).
• Let pizza cool on wire rack for a few minutes before cutting. The wire rack will prevent the crust from going soggy.
• If desired, sprinkle sliced or torn fresh basil on pizza after it comes out of the oven.

FutonForensic

i've used your advice about the earlobe consistency, it's served me well


Piso Mojado


mods!


joke_explainer


So a while back I made that bolognese sauce and it was great, and I froze 1.5 quarts of it. I had a bunch of guests this week and decided to make lasagna bolognese. I used the serious eats recipe here: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/02/no-holds-barred-lasagna-bolognese-pasta-italian-homemade-ricotta.html

It had to change a bit though because the entire thing had to be gluten free. I thought ahead and the bolognese sauce was gluten free. I used Cup4Cup gluten flour substitute to make the bechamel and used some local farmer's cheese made that day for the riccota mixture and that was great. In any other situation I would just make simply egg noodle sheets by hand but I have no idea how to go about making gluten free pasta, so I used no-boil lasagna from whole foods that was rice flour based and it actually ended up okay. Soaked it in hot water for maybe about 12 minutes.

Honestly, this meal was insanely expensive though. I mean, leftovers for the sauce but the sauce was like 60 bucks. Then the additional stuff was a good 50. That's expensive for a simple casserole dish. It could probably be made more simply in the future - plus some was just spices I felt had aged too much to throw them in there or whatever.



I think it was the best lasagna I've ever had and I've had some lasagna at fancy restaurants, but the meat-based bolognese sauce really adds an amazing richness to it. One thing with the pan being a little larger than I planned led to me running out of meat sauce, so I mixed some meat sauce in with ricotta / cheese sauce to finish off the top layers. This worked out great and everyone thought I was amazing for making a great contrast between the top and bottom layers, and I took credit for it even though it was never my intention. It looked amazing the night we ate it, but we were too busy eating to take further photos, so here's a slightly deformed photo of a portion the day after to see the layers. There is a lot more meat sauce in the bottom. But yeah, it ended up so good.

joke_explainer



homegrown restriction? I wish. I really need to get a herb garden going. Or just the water on my cutting board? I promise I dried it off right after

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless
So I made this marinade for some ribs in a slow cooker

http://www.food.com/recipe/pineapple-marinade-189052

And then I was all "I still need a sauce..." So I googled how to thicken marinades.

I took some of it out of the slow cooker added cornstarch and water but then it tasted diluted so I added some salt. That made it pop but it lost its sweetness. So I tossed in some more brown sugar and it was so yummy.

However my brother in law did it was missing a Tang so I added some chili powder after googling "how to add Tang" and let it simmer and it's even more good now.

So I accidently made the most bomb rear end pineapple BBQ sauce today

Subjunctive

✨sparkle and shine✨

don't pineapple-based marinades make meat all mushy? some enzyme thing I thought

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless
According to Google yes but my goal with the ribs was to make the meat fall off the bone so luckily it didn't ruin my meal since I never heard of that before.

Although it does explain why years ago when I tried to "infuse" some ground beef with pineapple juice the whole thing went to poo.

I tend to experiment in the kitchen as I cook instead of following recipes so I had no idea I couldn't do that lol

Subjunctive

✨sparkle and shine✨

as a sauce or for basting I'm sure it's fine, yeah

Ride The Gravitron

by FactsAreUseless
Yeah but I marinated Ivey night and even cooked with it in the slow cooker lol

fuck. marry. t-rex

just add the pineapple joose at the end as you serve, and maybe thicken it a bit so its glazey



fuck. marry. t-rex

i bet you could make a cool pineapple demiglace



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fuck. marry. t-rex

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